By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor

Ongoing Alternative Perspective Review of the Show

Raw was live tonight from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida.

The big match tonight will be Eugene vs. his favorite wrestler, Triple H. Last week we saw Triple H manipulate Eugene into thinking he was his friend. How will Eugene react when he goes toe-to-toe with his new best friend tonight? And will Eugene have some high-powered help?

Will we find out more about Lita's delicate condition tonight? Is it really a Big Red Bun in the Oven?

***

Quarter Hour 1

A recap of what led up to the Eugene vs. Triple H match started the show.

Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to the show.

"If ya smell..." was all it took for the roof to blow off the place. The Rock came out to a tremendous pop. J.R. said the building was literally shaking. The crowd continued to roar long after his music stopped.

The Rock said it had given him goose bumps. "Finally, the Rock has come home," he said. He was eating up the "Rocky" chants and encouraged the fans to continue.

Rock introduced his family in the front row, including his beaming wife. Also in the audience were linebacker Zack Thomas and Jason Taylor, as well as some of the Miami Hurricanes. He chided Taylor and Thomas for "dressing up" in their free Nike gear.

Rock introduced another friend, Eugene, and he asked him to come out so the Rock could give him a few tips.

Instead, Randy Orton, who did dress up, sauntered out (with a chip on one shoulder and a belt on the other). Orton said Eugene wasn't there; Triple H had picked up Eugene and would bring him to the arena later.

"Asshole," the crowd chanted.

Orton decided it was a good time to harp on that legend thing. He said Rock was yesterday's news and irrelevant. Orton said he was a younger, hipper third-generation star. (On his best day he'll probably never get the ovation the Rock just got.)

Rock said he knew who Orton was. He remembered Orton's daddy, who'd had his ass whipped by Soul Man Rocky Johnson. (Grandma Maivia was getting a big kick out of the promo.)

Quarter Hour 2

Rock reminded Orton of when they'd met as kids; Orton had been playing with a My Pretty Pony. Orton turned red and said it had been his sister's.

Rock offered to whip Orton's candy ass "right here, right now." Orton took off his suit jacket...then backpeddled and said he "had a match later...he wasn't stretched out...it might not be a good idea tonight."

It mattered not--the Rock laid the Smackdown on Orton anyway.

"Hold it right there." Eric Bischoff and a swarm of security guards said it was not going to happen tonight. He ordered security to escort the Rock out the door.

Rock said he'd go, all the while insulting the short, tubby security force, calling them the Seven Dwarves.

He continued through the backstage area, pulling off Molly's wig and greeting the Hamburglar and Hurricane. He stopped to embarrass Jonathan Coachman with some pie references, then Orton, still in the ring, told the Rock to get out of the building.

The Rock said he'd go, but counted down to one. What did that mean? It meant Edge had a surprise spear for Orton.

(Commercial break)

In his office, Eric told Wayne, the portly security guard, that he wanted him to be sure the Rock stayed out of the building.

Chris Benoit begged Bischoff to leave Eugene out of Triple H's scheming for a title shot. Bischoff said he'd have no problem throwing Benoit out of the building, too, if he interfered.

(1) Trish Stratus (w/Tyson Tomko) over Victoria. Victoria has ditched the dancing in favor of stripping.

Quarter Hour 3

Trish and Victoria are two the best divas in the ring and each gave as good as she got. Victoria even got a bloody nose. Victoria had two near falls, but Trish won it with an arm on the rope and a little help from her Problem Solver.

Trish and Tomko started a post-match beat down, but a really, really ugly chick came to Victoria's rescue. (Stevie Richards in drag, perhaps?)

Footage was shown of the Diva Search in Chicago.

(I'll give The King bonus points tonight for not mentioning puppies in the previous segment and for looking very well-dressed in a pale yellow tee shirt and sharp blazer.)

J.R. said they would have an exclusive update on the condition of Shawn Michaels later in the show.

(Commercial break)

J.R. said it was going to be a long night. (Hopefully not as long as last Monday's Raw.)

Footage aired of last week's barbaric actions by Kane that had sent Shawn Michaels to the hospital.

J.R. said Shawn had suffered a crushed larynx and internal injuries and was recuperating at home.

William Regal said Bischoff was leading a lamb to the slaughter by putting Eugene in the ring with Triple H. Regal told Eric to "just fire the boy," but Eric said it was about getting Eugene to quit. He figured having Eugene "beaten like a drum" by his favorite wrestler would humiliate his nephew and he would be rid of him.

Regal described himself as a dirty, rotten scoundrel, but he said he genuinely loved Eugene. Regal continued to plead his case to Bischoff.

Eric said that Regal was thereby relieved of his duties with regard to Eugene and would be back on the active roster. In fact, his match would be next.

Quarter Hour 4

(Commercial break)

(2) Kane destroyed William Regal in a match that didn't officially start. Regal was wrestling in his street clothes, since Bischoff hadn't given him sufficient time to change. Regal's first match back wasn't a pretty one. Kane killed him and left with a sneer on his face.

(Commercial break)

Kane asked Bischoff if that was what he wanted. Eric said it was and that he knew Kane could be a professional. Next week it would be Kane vs. Chris Benoit. Kane laughed, then made a mysterious request.

More footage of the Diva Search in Chicago was shown. It was starting to look like American Idol, with Coach in the Simon Cowell role.

(3) Tag Team Match: Batista & Randy Orton over Edge & Chris Jericho. Orton seemed eager to pay Edge back for the spear earlier in the show, but the match started with Edge and Batista.

Quarter Hour 5

Orton tagged in and Edge was ready for him. Lawler said he'd seen fear in the eyes of the Rock when he was in the ring with Orton. Yeah, right.

Batista resumed working Edge over. Jericho tagged in and took Batista off his feet. Jericho tried to put him in the Walls of Jericho, but Batista kicked him away.

Edge and Jericho worked as a team to take out both members of Evolution. Batista made a comeback and clotheslined Jericho.

Jericho appeared injured, and referees and medics ran out to tend to him.

(Commercial break)

Jericho had been unable to go on with the match and Edge had been given the option to continue alone. Edge decided to tough it out in a two-on-one situation.

Orton tried his best to pull Edge's head off with a submission hold.

Lawler said Edge had "that flower disease. He was a blooming idiot for staying in the match."

Orton missed a dropkick and landed on his behind. Hard. He made the tag to Batista. Back and forth it went, and Evolution began double-teaming Edge. Edge stacked Evolution together in the corner and speared them both at the same time.

Edge with a near fall after a roll-up. Spear by Edge on Orton, but Batista stopped the count. Edge was on the business end of a Batista Bomb. Edge was busted open and Orton gave him an RKO, followed by the 1-2-3.

(Commercial break)

More clips of the Chicago Diva Search, including a catty moment or two.

J.R. and the King talked about the Smackdown Your Vote campaign.

(Commercial Break)

Stacy, who'd been sworn to secrecy by Lita last week, blurted out her congratulations to Matt Hardy backstage. He was nervous.

Eugene arrived with Evolution and said he was a "limousine riding, jet flying, kiss stealing, wheelin' dealin' son of a gun...whoo!" Triple H said Eugene would be dressing in Evolution's locker room tonight.

(Commercial break)

Matt Hardy came to the ring and talked about Father's Day. Then he asked Lita to come down to the ring. He pulled a velvet box out of his pocket and got down on one knee and proposed.

Suddenly, Kane's big ugly face appeared on the TitanTron and he told Matt that the baby was his. Matt didn't believe him, and Kane told him to ask Lita.

Matt tried to calm his nerves and looked over at Lita. She looked stricken, and Matt couldn't believe what he was seeing. Lita burst into tears and Matt's face filled with rage.

(Commercial break)

Backstage, Lita chased after Matt. She tried to explain, but he was conflicted, especially after she told him the baby might be his. That was the last thing he wanted to hear, and he walked off and left her sobbing.

Eliminations from the Chicago Diva Search were shown.

Eugene was warming up backstage and was looking for William Regal. Evolution assured him they were his friends now.

Uncle Eric walked in and rebuffed Eugene's hug. An angry Triple H got in Bischoff's face and said Eugene was with Evolution now.

"It's time to play the game," said Eugene as he left the locker room. As soon as the door was shut, Uncle Eric and Evolution burst into laughter.

(Commercial break)

Quarter Hour 8

(4) Eugene vs. Triple H (w/Ric Flair). Triple H invited Eugene to spit the water with him, and Eugene continued to mimic Triple H's gestures. Eugene even gave Triple H a pre-match hug.

Eugene seemed timid at first, and Triple H took full advantage of that. Then Eugene began to Hulk up and punish Triple H. Flair got up on the apron, and Eugene knocked him off. The Game hadn't been expecting the beating he was getting.

(Commercial break)

Back from commercial, Eugene was firmly in control of the match.

Quarter Hour 9

Triple H told Eugene he'd hurt his arm. When Eugene went to look, Trips sucker punched him. Triple H began to rain punches on Eugene, then tossed him from pillar to post.

While Triple H had the ref distracted, Flair pounded on Eugene, adding insult to injury.

Eugene began to grow angry and a change came over him. He gave Triple H atomic drops and airplane spins. He came off the top with a splash, but Triple H kicked out. Back body drop, sidewalk slam and the People' Elbow, and Triple H rolled out of bounds. Eugene followed him to the outside.

The tide began to turn, and back in the ring Eugene got a Pedigree from a woozy Triple H. Triple H started to go for the pin when Bischoff came out and said if Triple H didn't "beat the hell" out of Eugene, he could forget his title shot.

Triple H thought about it, then went for a chair. Chris Benoit jumped into the ring to make the save, and was followed by Batista. Benoit went to swing the chair at Triple H, but hit Eugene by mistake. Triple H had a Pedigree for Benoit, too. Triple H stood over Benoit and Eugene and talked trash.

The members of Evolution were feeling pretty proud of themselves as the show went off the air.

***

I love feedback and you can reach me at mallory_m_@hotmail.com. See you in The Lounge on Saturday.

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