By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

ECW TV on Sci-Fi Live Report
July 17 in Laredo, Texas
Year 2, Week 6 (Week 58 overall) on Sci-Fi

They open the show with random men standing around outside of Johnny Nitro's locker room for a press conference. Someone emerged from Nitro's locker room and said tonight will be the last night Nitro will be on ECW TV. He said Nitro will answer everyone's questions later tonight. Cue crosstalk.

C.M. Punk came out as Joey Styles and Tazz talked about the Nitro vs. Punk title match at the PPV. Elijah Burke came out to face Punk instead of Marcus Cor Von, who didn't make the taping.

1 -- C.M. PUNK vs. ELIJAH BURKE

Burke talked trash before they locked up, then Punk got in his face as the fans chanted, "C-M-Punk". Punk took control early on, working on Burke's left arm and shoulder. Both men spilled to the floor after some slow-paced action, then they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Burke dragged Punk to center ring and applied a half-crab/knee-bender. He pounded on Punk's lower back with successive forearm blows before going to a full Boston Crab. Punk bit his hand so as not to tap out, then he reached the bottom rope to break the hold. Punk fired back on Burke with roundhouse kick strikes, then Burke cut him off with a punch to the gut. Punk suddenly struck Burke with kicks while he was on the mat, then he reached his feet and ran over Burke with a clothesline.

[Q2]

Punk made his comeback at 12:00 with more kicks to the sternum. First legit nearfall of the match following a kick that knocked Burke on his back. Punk suddenly caught Burke with a DDT for another nearfall. Burke surprised Punk with a German suplex for a nearfall, then he talked trash and landed right-arm clotheslines. Suddenly, Punk surprised Burke with the Go 2 Sleep for the pin and the win. They didn't even have his music cued up until a good 10 seconds after the pin.

WINNER: Punk in 14:00. Crowd wasn't buying into the action, as there was never a sense of the wrestlers in jeopardy to be pinned in the first 10 minutes. That's the problem with wrestling these days. Submission holds aren't credible and we've all seen the same formula matches over and over. (*)

Styles and Tazz talked about Big Daddy V's debut last week, as if Viscera came over from a different organization. They plugged his first match on ECW up next.

[Commercial Break]

They aired the Raw Rebound from last night's show, focusing on Cena vs. Lashley. They showed clips of Steve Austin, Batista, Ric Flair, Mick Foley, and JBL commenting on the match. They cleaned up the final segment between Cena and Lashley from last night to hammer home the key points that were overshadowed by horribly scripted promos.

Matt Striker came to the ring in a suit and tie. Striker, complete with wing-tipped hair, talked about giving The Boogeyman a lesson in redemption last week. They showed footage of Viscera debuting on ECW to KO Boogeyman. Striker welcomed out his redemption, Big Daddy V. Some dude was already in the ring to face V.

2 -- BIG DADDY V vs. TIM STORM

V approached Storm and ran him over with head butts before landing a charging splash in the corner. V with a Samoan Drop and Black Hole Slam for the win. White will have a few stories to tell at church on Sunday. Afterward, Striker did Vader's split-fingered "V" hand gesture in the camera. V repeated the hand signal.

WINNER: V in 1:00. Squash. See: Snitsky, Gene.

They plugged Dreamer vs. Striker tonight. Nitro has a press conference, too.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

The Miz was in the ring out of the break. He said he hates to admit it, but he's a chick magnet. Miz said women are all over him and he feels like every woman in the arena wants him. Maybe his charisma or personality, or his good looks. They cut to a random woman in the audience looking stunned. Perfect picture. He said three women are going to come out and surprise him with something. Extreme Expose came out as Joey talked about women being all over Miz at airports. They put Miz in a chair, then did a dance around him. Suddenly, they ripped off each other's shirts, revealing bikini tops. They took turns dancing near Miz's lap. Your guess is as good as mine to what the point of this was other than filling five minutes of time because the roster is depleted.

They showed footage of Nitro vs. Dreamer on last week's show, with Nitro scoring the win. Dreamer came to the ring for his match against Thorn while sporting a Great American Bash t-shirt. Might as well put a "Kick me, I'm a jobber" sign on his back.

[Commercial Break]

Kevin Thorn came to the ring.

[Q4]

3 -- TOMMY DREAMER vs. KEVIN THORN

Thorn caught Dreamer's left arm across the top rope in the early going. He then worked on the body part Nitro took apart last week. Styles said Dreamer might be in serious pain, but he's not the type of guy to take a week off. The crowd suddenly became more interested in something else in the arena. Dreamer came back with a neckbreaker, while Tazz and Styles tried to paint this pretty picture of Dreamer relishing the opportunity to fight through pain associated with being a wrestler. Thorn went back to the left shoulder by ramming Dreamer shoulder-first into the corner ringpost. He then made a cover for the win. Afterward, Thorn gave Dreamer the Original Sin hanging neckbreaker off the ropes.

WINNER: Dreamer in 6:00. Guys tried to put on a good match, but the crowd wasn't buying the action. (1/2*)

They cut backstage where the stagehands with pen and pad were eagerly anticipating Nitro's arrival. The P.R. guy stepped out of Nitro's locker room and the stagehands followed him down the hallway.

[Commercial Break]

The P.R. guy spoke in center ring about Johnny Nitro. A graphic came on the screen saying the guy's name is Paul McBride, press agent. McBride said Nitro has changed his name. Nitro then walked out sporting fluffed out hair and a white jacket/leather pants combo. He said he came out to make a statement. His name is not Johnny Nitro. His name is John Morrison, his given name. (Actually, that would be John Hennigan.) Morrison listed his child prodigy accomplishments.

[Q5 -- over-run]

He then addressed C.M. Punk. He asked what C.M. stands for. Chick Master. Chases Men. Cookie Monster. Common Man. Completely Miserable. He asked what a Punk is. Morrison said a punk is a disrespectful kid with lame tattoos. Punk's music cut off Morrison, then Punk walked out to the ring. Nitro cut him off and said this is a press conference, not a wrestling match. He said he won't place a finger on Punk until the Bash when he beats him senseless. Morrison then asked how he came up with the name. Punk smiled to the crowd as Morrison extended the mic, then he surprised Punk with a right hand blow to the face. Morrison then hit a corkscrew neckbreaker in center ring. The fans chanted for Punk as Morrison stood over Punk's fallen body. Styles plugged the Bash to close the show.

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