By Derek Burgan, Torch Media Guy

April, 2005 PWTorch Buying Guide



WWE 2005 No Way Out DVD. This certainly wasn’t the most critically praised WWE event of all time, but it had several good moments. If you can look past the complete burial of the entire cruiserweight division, there was a solid Kurt Angle – John Cena matchup, a Basham Brothers match against Rey Mysgterio and Eddie Guerrero along with a really innovative way of ending a cage match during the Big Show – JBL encounter. Don’t get Jake “The Snake” Roberts going on WWE cage matches though (see below.)



NOAH: Departure This is a three disc set from a show that was critically praised, including one match (Akiyama vs. Kobashi) that was given five stars by Dave Meltzer. Now when he says a match is that good, you can bet your ass it’s that good. There was also several other matches above the four star level. Here is a review of the show by Kevin George. This is wrestling for people who like their action stiff damn it!



Behind Closed Doors with…Jake “The Snake” Roberts. This DVD, like just about any shoot interview with Jim Cornette, is an absolute must buy for anyone who wants to understand what truly goes into successful booking. You can read my review of the disc here. It’s hard to believe how bitter Jake is towards Barry Blaustein and Beyond the Mat though. I can’t imagine that Mick Foley, Roland Alexander or that guy on the trampoline, Dennis Stamp, got any money for the movie either, so I have no idea where Jake is coming from on that.



Lethal Injection: The Very Best of Jay Lethal DVD. If I were starting a promotion tomorrow, and could cherry pick any talent I wanted from the indies, Jay Lethal would be right at the top of my list alongside Christopher Daniels, Jack Evans and Homicide. Read my review HERE, and whether you decide to order the two disc DVD or not, be prepared to see more of Jay Lethal soon because there is no way he won’t be on a national stage soon. There is also the added bonus of one of the greatest ribs caught on DVD ever, plus a must see moment of Rainchild getting tossed into a wall (not unlike Kevin Nash tossing Rey Mysterio like a lawn dart back on Nitro) during a tag match with Lethal.



In the ring with…Homicide A two disc DVD that is part shoot interview, part wrestling training and topped off with an empty arena match between Homicide and Jay Lethal? Sounds damn good to me.



G.L.O.W. I was shocked, SHOCKED to find out there were DVDs of quite possibly the greatest wrestling promotion ever. Okay, the matches were pretty bed and the skits were quite lame, but man, were those gimmicks gold. Dementia? Mt. Fiji? And my personal favorite, the tag team of Hollywood & Vine. I was in love with Hollywood for years until I found out she got absurd breast implants and went into apartment wrestling, or some sort of non-sense. Oh well, at least with these DVDs I can relive some of the best years of my life. And for those of you that love wrestling and nekkid’ women, check out my review of the Wrestling Vixxxens DVD.



Nevermore: Best of Raven DVD One of TNA’s bright spots since their creation has been Raven. That should come as no surprise as the guy has been incredible in every promotion in his been spotlighted in outside of the WWE. In fact the WWE are idiots for not releasing a best of Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven DVD from their ECW days. And who could forget the best feud in ROH history, the straight edge CM Punk vs. the done-it-all Raven?



Secrets of the Ring with Raven. Speaking of Raven, Ring of Honor is putting out another edition of their great Secrets of the Ring series (click here to read my review of their Jim Cornette Secrets DVD) with Raven and it looks incredible. Apparently this is the first in a series with Raven and spotlights the art of working as a babyface. For those of you consumed with learning about what makes wrestling great, like I am, this is a must have DVD.



Ring of Honor: It All Begins. Ring of Honor booker Gabe Sapolsky suggest It All Begins is the ideal starting point for fans new to the company. It certainly has some great highlights including a confrontation between Mick Foley and Samoa Joe. Also included is Austin Aries’ first ROH title defense against Colt Cabana, Homicide vs. Bryan Danielson and Deranged vs. Azriel among other matches. Not too shabby. Torch ROH News Guy Sean Radican said that the Alex Shelley – Spanky match is also damn good. If you like your ROH, we are having a contest over at GumGod in which the winner gets a Straight Shootin’ with Samoa Joe. The deadline to enter is April 15th and all you need to enter is your name and address, so head on over to wrestling’s carnival of fun if you are interested.



FIP: Fallout Night Two DVD. This is the show in which a match between Homicide and CM Punk spills over into a strip club. Okay, tell me you don’t want to see THAT. I recently reviewed Full Impact Pro’s first show, Emergence, and really think this company could go somewhere if they stay on the track they are on.



Christy Hemme Playboy issue. I have to admit that I’m not that big of a Christy Hemme fan, but if Trish Stratus or Stacy Kiebler did a Playboy shoot I think I would be tempted to get a lifetime subscription. Adults only kids!



Wrestling at the Chase: by Larry Matysik. Over the years I have seen the name Larry Matysik dropped about a million times by Dave Meltzer and I’m interested to see what he has to say in his book on the St. Louis territory. The book is an insider’s look at Sam Mushnick and the incredible shows that were put on in St. Louis over the years and looks to have great appeal to the fans who miss the old days of wrestling.



Over The Top DVD. Terry Funk also has a new book coming out and to celebrate that we’re going to hype a Funker/Sylvester Stallone classic. A tale of a blue collar truck driver (Stallone) who fights his way through the arm wrestling championship to win the heart of his son. Funk plays the bodyguard for his son’s overprotective grandfather. This is coming out in May, but I couldn’t stop myself.

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Hola Burganites! Keith Lipinski of Torch Japan, and here’s my shopping cart for April of 2005.



First off, YOU MUST (and I mean MUST) STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING, even if it is a noble quest or crusade to find the final shipment of WWE Superstars Ice Cream Bars (the 99-2000 edition, not the ones from the 80’s which could double now as fossils), you must forget all about the delicious vanilla ice cream goodness and huge cookie of your favorite WWE 2000era star (Chyna or Debra) and thin layer of chocolate and go to your local bookshop and pick up what I believe to be the BEST WRESTLING BOOK OF 2005 Terry Funk:More Then Just Hardcore. A truly wonderful book. Finally there is in fact a reason to be literate as Funk goes thru his entire amazing career. When you think about it, Terry Funk was everywhere and has done everything. NWA Champion? Done. WWE as Chainsaw Charlie? Done. WCW as Commissioner Funk? Done. Japan during the war between Baba-Inoki and the hardcore matches? Done. ECW at the beginning and their first PPV show? Done. Here is a man with a book that will interest so many fans of wrestling, ECW fans, Puroresu fans, Death of WCW fans, Mick Foley fans, NWA and historical wrestling fans, you name them, they will all want (and love) this book. There are so many great tales and stories in this book, but what I really got out of this book is even more respect for Terry’s work and being a “good soldier” in the business. After all the years and promotions Terry has quite a tale to tell and he along with Scott E. Williams do a fantastic job telling us the story of Funk. Plus, Funk responds to Ric Flair’s book claims about Bret Hart and Mick Foley, as well as his perspectives on the wrestling business here and in Japan, and why JBL is an “idiot.” I would recommend this to anyone who enjoyed any of Mick Foley’s books, as they’re thoughts on the wrestling business are similar. “More Then Just Hardcore” is the best wrestling autobiography to come out in a long time (yes, it’s better then Flair’s book). Terry Funk might be “middle aged and crazy” but after reading this you can add “excellent author” to that. After reading this, I can forgive Mr. Funk for retiring approximately 1,000 times and calling me an “egg sucking dog” after an ROH show in 2003.



Other swag worth spending your hard earned scratch on this month is ROH’s Straight Shootin with Sandman & Raven. A near three hour shoot with both the Raven and Sandman which is worth checking out just to watch the Sandman’s demeanor during the shoot, as he’s trying to lay down on chairs the entire time and has a hat (a RVD 4:20 ECW White Cap) over his face, and ends up looking like a member of “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids.” Raven & Sandman share plenty of great times and laughs here. From ECW, WCW, drug stories, crucifixions, pool stories involving Kanyon and flips, overdosing, Tyler Fullington’s thoughts on the ‘Rise and Fall of ECW’, chess, steroids, etc there is plenty of good stuff on this show. Plus, they do a great version of the Clash’s “London Calling.” Any fan of these guys work should check this out immediately as this is one shoot full of laughter and good times. Good stuff.



Quite possibly the finest show of 2005 (so far) has to be the NOAH March 5, 2005 show. The show was newsworthy for many reasons including Kenta Kobashi finally losing the GHC (Global Honored Crown) after two years to Takeshi Rikio, Mohammed Yone’s Fro winning the GHC Hardcore Openweight title, “Sexy” Ace Steel picking up a huge win in a 6 man match, Zero One Max Outsiders Otani & Takaiwa and dastardly team of Tenryu & Suzuki invade the NOAH ring. Yes, this was a show all over the place and it was extremely enjoyable on a number of levels. Pick up NOAH March 5th 2005 2 Disc DVD Set. People ask me all the time, “who are you again Dr. Keith?” I mean “what is the match of the year so far smarky?” For my money, the MOTC right now has to be on the AJPW February 16th 2005 2 Disc DVD Set for the All Japan triple crown as Toshiaki Kawada vs. Satoshi Kojima faced each other in a wonderful, hard hitting, emotional, explosive match with a wonderful finish and celebration afterwards. This cheap ($6.99) DVD set also features a very good Keiji Muto vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi match and the Voodoo Murders (TARU and Full Blooded Italians Johnny Stamboli & Chuck Palumbo) vs. RO&D (TAKA Michinoku, Buchanan & Rico) in six man action. For historical reasons, you should pick up NJPW February 20th 2005 3 Disc DVD Set featuring a very “interesting” Nishimura vs. Choshu match (interesting because Nishimura is very slippery during the match), a very good Junior 4 man tag (Koji Kanemoto, Wataru Inoue, Katsushi Takemura & Taiji Ishimori vs. Minoru Tanaka, Jado, Gedo & James Gibson), an excellent IWGP Jr. Title defense (Tiger Mask IV vs. Jushin Thunder Liger) and a main event with the IWGP title vs. The Triple Crown on the line as former tag team partners face off as Hiroyoshi Tenzan vs. Satoshi Kojima. Forget about picking up the lame John Cena Rubber Bracelet Tuck Fhis and pick this DVD up instead! Wouldn’t this lame bracelet be something your conformist mama would be wearing? Finally on the DVD front, who doesn’t enjoy Ultimate Fighting? What’s the best part of ultimate fighting? The ground game? The slow technical fights? NAH! It’s the knockouts and the fine people at UFC have put together a DVD set full of just knockouts. Ultimate Knockouts I & II Combo DVD features over 40 knockouts. Nice.



Easter is almost 360 days away, so now is the perfect time to get ready to be the Easter Beagle Diva next year and pick up this Stacy Kiebler Bunny costume from WWEAuction.com and its only $1,002! Wait, who’s buying this crap? Actually, I might have a problem because the idea of buying this William Regal Autographed Chocolate Milk Hankerchief seems like a solid investiment. As its gotten closer to Maria then most of us ever well, plus, not only is it full of dried spoiled chocolate milk goodness, it’s signed by William Regal. Joy! Get the Cadbury egg out of your mouth and get this now!

Hey Kids, Comics!!
Because I have the ultimate power here, we are going to finish up every month with three selections from the world of comics. Every selection is 100% guaranteed to have the Derek Burgan Seal of Approval.



Supreme: The Story of the Year. I’ve recently got into a big Alan Moore kick after finally, FINALLY reading Watchmen after going to the San Diego Comic Con last summer. To say I was blown away would be an understatement. My world was rocked. I was reading about Moore’s experiences on Supreme and thought I would try it out. Trust me, this is the best Superman story ever done. It has great appeal to fans of Watchmen along with fans of Superman or DC comics in general over the years. A true tour de force. Rick Veitch, Moore’s collaborator on the very underrated 1963, does an incredible job of drawing a comic-within-a-comic that is even cooler than the Pirate comic done within Watchmen



Sin City: That Yellow Bastard. I just got back from seeing the Sin City movie, and it was fantastic. Not sure how many women are going to like it though, as it is filled with insane action and violent deaths. Just like the comic. Frank Miller’s black and white Sin City book, with color added only for emphasis, is exactly what makes the medium of comics great.



Daredevil: Born Again. Speaking of Frank Miller, here is quite possibly his best run in mainstream comics. Well, who knows, because Miller’s track record on both Batman and Daredevil makes it impossible to pick the best, but this one is my favorite. It starts off with Karen Page, Daredevil’s girlfriend from the past, selling out his secret identity to score some drugs. That’s right, she’s turned into a whored-out junkie and her betrayal of Daredevil begins the superheroes path towards destruction.

That’s it for April, see you next month! If there is anything you would like to see in this space, send us a note!

Derek Burgan desperately wants to read the old WCW comics from Marvel. You can reach Derek by clicking here (derek@gumgod.com)

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