WWE Smackdown Report PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 1/24: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Friday show, including Royal Rumble go-home show with a ten-man tag team match
Jan 24, 2014 - 9:00:26 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
January 24, 2014
Taped 1/21/14 in Grand Rapids, Mich.
Aired on SyFy
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist (Twitter: @gregmparks)
- “In Memory of George Scott 1929-2014.” They had head-shot of Scott as well – I don’t know that I’ve ever actually seen him before that.
- Smackdown Open.
- As the camera panned the crowd in the arena, they showed a graphic for the ten-man tag main event: The Usos, Goldust, Cody Rhodes & Big E. Langston vs. The Shield and The New Age Outlaws.
- The Real Americans were in the ring as the announcers, Josh Mathews (filling in for Michael Cole) and JBL were at ringside. No explanation was given for Cole’s absence. Zeb Colter, still in a wheelchair, put down Big Show and his actions from Raw a few weeks ago. Show’s partner is Rey Mysterio, and oh boy, you better believe Colter didn’t like him either. Colter said Show and Mysterio don’t even have a tag team name. That’s certainly a point in the Real Americans’ favor. Colter decided to suggest a few names, including the Border Hopping Bullies and El Gordito & The Jumping Bean, as well as his personal favorite, Tacos Supremos, Hold the Salsa. Colter said anyone who agrees with Show and Mysterio are part of the problem. “We the People” followed.
1 – THE REAL AMERICANS vs. REY MYSTERIO & THE BIG SHOW
During Show’s entrance, they showed some of the confrontations between Show and Brock Lesnar on Raw lately. Show started with Jack Swagger, but Swagger quickly tagged out. Show man-handled Cesaro, and looked angry while doing it. Show sent Antonio Cesaro outside the ring, and Mysterio tagged in, giving the business to both Cesaro and Swagger. They went to break at 1:57 of the match.
Back at 4:51 of the match. Mysterio fought out of a rest-hold and rolled up Cesaro for a two-count. Cesaro Swing but only a few revolutions, though it’s possible more were cut for time given they cut away right before he ended it. Swagger tagged in and tied up Mysterio’s arms. Mysterio headscissored Swagger into the turnbuckle. Double DDT by Mysterio on Swagger and Cesaro, though Swagger just kind of gave himself up in the move. Show tagged in and went to work on both Real Americans. Show bealed both Swagger and Cesaro out of the corner, with the same arm, at the same time. Mysterio hit the 619 on Cesaro, then Show followed with the knockout punch. Tag to Mytserio, who climbed onto Show’s shoulders and splashed Cesaro for the win.
WINNERS: Show and Mysterio, at 8:34. Really, just a showcase for Show to preview his power moves in preparation for his match with Lesnar.
After highlights of the match were shown, Paul Heyman walked out with a microphone. He told Show to cherish every moment of this celebration, as there will be nothing for Show to celebrate at the Royal Rumble pay per-view. Heyman credited Show with what he has done to Lesnar on Raw lately, but said beating Show on Sunday won’t be enough. He said Show will “suffer and be subjugated” by Lesnar, who will go on to conquer the rest of the WWE Universe.
- Tonight, the main event ten-man tag.
- Also tonight, C.M. Punk will address Kane’s announcement that he’ll be #1 in the Royal Rumble match on Sunday.
2 – BRODUS CLAY vs. THE MIZ
Clay was already in the ring, and Mathews congratulated him for bench pressing 500 pounds this past week. Before the match could begin, we got a visit from Bad News Barrett. Barrett talked about tonight’s ten-man tag, which he called “a main event in any era.” He said the bad news is the fans will suffer through one of the worst matches in WWE history, Clay vs. Miz. Barrett started a “Miz is awful” chant. He continued as the match began. Clay headbutted Miz to the chest and dropped a few elbows. A cover got two. Barrett started riffing on the match :20 in. JBL said this was likely watching Iran vs. North Korea, in that people want them both to lose. JBL distracted Clay by telling him to dance. That allowed Miz to hit a short DDT on Clay for the win.
WINNER: Miz, at 1:14. I guess we’ve got the first feud for Bad News Barrett now. I’m not sure it was worth it to sit through that, however.
Miz went right to Barrett’s podium and tried to push it over. Barrett said the bad news was that he was staying up there and Miz was staying down there. They played his music as Miz shook his fist, looking like an old man yelling at a cloud.
- WWE’s Royal Rumble numbers video package aired.
- Next, we’ll see Batista’s return on Raw.
- The WWE Network countdown clock was shown as Mathews quickly plugged the network.
3 – A.J. LEE vs. CAMERON
A.J. sent Cameron into the corner, then whipped her to the opposite one. Cameron sent A.J. face-first into the canvas and followed it up with a low dropkick. Leg-drop from Cameron, who dropkicked Tamina under the bottom rope. Naomi and Tamina had gone face-to-face outside the ring, but Tamina wasn’t threatening to interfere. That cost her, as A.J. rolled her up for two, then hit the Shining Wizard for the pinfall win.
WINNER: A.J., at 1:36. Naomi is certainly the worker of the two Funkadactyls.
Replays of the finish were shown. After the match, Tamina grabbed Cameron and threw her out of the ring. Naomi went after A.J. and showed off her athleticism in hitting three moves. She even went to cover A.J., despite this not being a match. The Funkadactyls danced at ringside after the match.
- Mathews and JBL talked about Batista’s return and sent it to the Raw Rebound.
- The Shield did an interview into the camera backstage. Dean Ambrose talked about the Royal Rumble and called the fact that “anything can happen in WWE” a “romantic notion.” He said they’re in the Rumble, and they’re hungry. Seth Rollins said the Rumble match had never seen anything like The Shield. Roman Reigns called himself “the big dog” and said he’d win and headline Wrestlemania. Rollins and Ambrose were subtle in their looks of disagreement.
3 – RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL vs. LOS MATADORES
No entrances for Rybaxel. Ryback press slammed Diego and turned it into a powerslam. Axel dropkicked Diego and then trash-talked. “A look of concern on the face of El Torito,” said Mathews, and JBL rightly called him on it as Torito wears a mask and thus you cannot tell what look he has on his face. Ryback splashed Diego for a two-count. To the middle rope went Ryback, but he at a mouthful of feet on the way down. Axel tagged in and missed a corner splash, allowing Fernando to tag in. DDT by Fernando, but Ryback broke it up. Diego was sent to ringside, followed by Ryback. Fernando went to splash him, but Axel rolled him up for the win.
WINNERS: Rybaxel, at 3:13. A little surprised the heels won, but it was likely to create an even-steven situation given the post-match happenings.
After the match, El Torito headscissored Axel to the outside, then Fernando splash Axel and Torito came off the top onto Ryback.
- C.M. Punk was walking backstage. He’ll address his status as the #1 entrant in the Royal Rumble, next.
- Mathews thanked 2 Chainz & Wiz Khalifa for providing the official Royal Rumble theme, “We Own It.”
- C.M. Punk came to the ring. They showed a clip of Punk making derogatory marks toward Kane on Smackdown last week, and the beat-down that resulted. They also showed Kane’s apology to Punk on Raw. Punk called Kane a “lap-dog” and said The Authority is stacking the deck against him with their hidden agenda. He said it makes him wonder how Stephanie McMahon and Triple H don’t know him better after knowing him for a decade. He said being behind The Authority’s eight-ball focuses him and motivates him. Punk called winning the Royal Rumble match the “one glaring omission” on his resume. He said when you call yourself the Best in the World, you paint a target on your chest and he intends to back it up. Punk amped up the energy and said he’s going to do everything he can to ensure he’s the last man standing. Kane’s music played and he walked out in his suit.
Kane wished Punk the best of luck on behalf of The Authority. He said by his calculations, Punk has a .000000186% chance of winning. That must be WWE math. Punk told Kane he’s a little sad that this is what has become of the Big Red Monster. He called Kane, “The Authority’s favorite statistician.” He said when Kane handed in his mask, he must’ve also handed in his manhood. Punk said the first entrant in the Rumble has won before, and he’s going to do it again. He said he’s been the best since day one. His music played to end the segment. Not strong verbiage to go out on, but good to focus on someone besides Batista and Alberto Del Rio who wants to win the Rumble match.
- The ten-man tag match is still to come.
- A graphic was shown for Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt at the Royal Rumble. They showed what happened on Raw two weeks ago when Bryan turned on the Wyatts in the steel cage.
4 – THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS vs. LUKE HARPER & ERICK ROWAN
No entrance for the Players. The Wyatt Family was transported to the ring via the magic of their entrance video interruption. Fall-away slam by Rowan on Darren Young. Harper had to restrain Rowan from going after Young, then Rowan whipped Harper into Titus O’Neil, who he gave a big boot to. Big clothesline from Harper on Young ended it.
WINNERS: Rowan and Harper, at 1:07. Your basic squash, and I had no problem with it.
After the match, Bray Wyatt left his rocking chair and entered the ring. Wyatt gave Sister Abigail to Young. Afterward, he took the mic and said at the Rumble, he won’t just defeat Daniel Bryan, but he’ll hurt him and then change the world. He said “they” will be able to deny him no more. “Follow the buzzards” was met with Flight of the Valkyries. Daniel Bryan walked onto the stage with a mic. He told Wyatt to listen to the people in the crowd. Bryan said he won’t be trapped in the prison of Wyatt’s madness, but rather, Wyatt will be trapped in the prison of his. Bryan ended by leading the crowd in a “yes!” chant.
- Tonight, we’ll get a preview of Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the WWE World Heavweight Championship, which has come across as about the fourth-most important match on the Rumble on this show.
- Fandango and Summer Rae were walking backstage. Fandango faces Kofi Kingston, next.
- Mathews noted that the Royal Rumble was sponsored by Jackson Hewitt. Because nothing says “30-man over-the-top-rope wrestling match” like a tax service.
5 – FANDANGO vs. KOFI KINGSTON
An inset interview aired with Kofi Kingston, as he talked about what he’s done to stop from being eliminated from the Rumble in the past, and said he’d win this year. Jumping back elbow caught Fandango for a quick, unsuccessful cover. Emma made her way to ringside (but still behind the barricade) and had her #Emmalution sign. Outside the ring, Fandango took the fight to Kingston. Back in, Kofi made his comeback, but Fandango kicked him in the head. A cover got two at 2:20. Kofi came off the ropes and surprised Fandango with Trouble in Paradise.
WINNER: Kingston, at 2:56. A match between two guys severely treading water, but at least the Rumble match gives them something to do.
- Next, the WWE World Title match preview.
- The announcers talked on-camera about Orton vs. Cena. Then, we saw a video package of the Cena vs. Orton feud.
- The Shield and the New Age Outlaws made separate entrances for the ten-man tag match. It’s next.
- The announcers plugged the Royal Rumble kickoff show match, The Rhodes Brothers vs. The New Age Outlaws for the tag titles. Plus, the Royal Rumble Winners panel will feature Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, and “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.
- The Usos made their entrance, followed by Big E. Langston and The Rhodes Brothers.
6 – THE SHIELD & THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. THE USOS & BIG E. LANGSTON & CODY RHODES & GOLDUST
The jumbo-sized match began with Seth Rollins and Jimmy Uso. Butt bomb by Jimmy for a one-count. Jey tagged in after a double-team. Dean Ambrose tagged in and went back-and-forth with Jey. Back to Jimmy, who came off the top with a double axe-handle to the arm of Ambrose. Langston came in and gave Ambrose a running shoulder to the gut. Cross-body by Ambrose was caught by Langston, who gave Ambrose a few back-breakers. Ambrose created some separation and tagged Roman Reigns, who felled Langston with a flying clothesline. Overhead belly-to-belly suplex by Langston. Cody Rhodes tagged in at 3:55 and was a house afire. However, a blind tag to Billy Gunn (I still can’t believe I’m typing that in 2014) stopped the babyface momentum. They went to break at 4:33 of the match.
Rollins was on offense against Rhodes out of break. The heels continued to isolate Rhodes with frequent tags. Rhodes prevented a suplex off the top from Rollins and moonsaulted onto Reigns. Goldust made the hot tag at about the 12:00 mark. Headscissors off the top onto Gunn. Everybody got involved and most everybody went over the top rope to the outside. In the end, Road Dogg gave Rhodes a pump-handle slam followed by a few crotch chops. Goldust rolled up the Dogg for a pin, but it was broken up by The Shield. The ref called for the bell.
WINNERS: Goldust, Rhodes, The Usos, and Langston, via disqualification, at 13:41.
After the match, the brawl continued and most of the Royal Rumble participants came down to get involved, as is tradition. Punk was the only one with his own music as he headed to the ring. They went off the air with the big brawl.
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Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. He is the host of “Moonlighting with Greg Parks,” a PWTorch VIP-exclusive audio show posted each weekend. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to email@example.com.
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