WWE Smackdown Report CUPACH'S WWE SMACKDOWN BLOG 11/29: Thoughts on puking, tagging, bullfighting, questions, more
Dec 2, 2013 - 3:00:59 PM
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WWE Smackdown Blog 11/29
By Michael Cupach, PWTorch specialist
- Renee Young Interviews Randy Orton. Pretty short segment with the WWE Champion, with all of the questions dealing with Orton versus Big Show from last Sunday at Survivor Series. Orton claimed to be playing possum when Show punched him because he has an iron jaw and can’t be knocked out so easily. Renee then went into a line of questioning about The Authority abandoning him on Sunday and leaving him for himself. Orton didn’t like her tone or something and walked off.
-Backstage, Vickie set up a Thanksgiving spread for the boys and will have a food-eating contest all through the night. In the background, Ricardo Rodriguez was hanging out with Hunico and Camacho. Also, Hornswoggle now has Justin Bieber hair and it is back to brown. Also, the Gobbledy-Gooker was lurking. Great Khali faced off against Titus O’Neil in round one of the eat-off tournament. By the way, the food looked like frozen garbage, none of it looked edible.
1 - MARK HENRY (w/Big E. Langston) vs. CURTIS AXEL (w/Ryback)
Is Curtis Axel now a “Ryback Guy?” Henry’s shaved head look makes him look a few years younger; the receding dreadlocks was not a good look anymore. There was more action on the outside of the match with Ryback and Big E. chasing each other around and cheap-shotting each other. Henry put Axel away rather easily with a World’s Strongest Slam. If I were Axel I would reconsider being a Ryback Guy!
WINNER: Mark Henry by pinfall.
-Backstage, Xavier Woods was watching himself dance with the Funkadactyls, Brodus Clay stormed in and yelled at him that Tons of Funk and the locker room doesn’t need rookies coming in leeching off the success of main-eventers. Brodus shoved Woods and Truth flipped out! Tensai tried being the voice of reason as Brodus walked out in a tizzy.
-Back at the food eating contest, Titus was wearing more food than he had eaten. A.J. and Tamina crashed the party and Vickie threatened to put them in the food eating contest, but we know she never eats (how else does she keep her petite 58-pound frame?). Back at the contest, Khali went into a food coma and Titus was declared the winner. His prize was a match with Antonio Cesaro later.
2 - THE PLYMOUTH ROCKERS (3MB) vs. LOS MATADORES & EL TORITO
The Plymouth Rockers came out to the old Rockers theme. For a second, I thought Marty Jannetty was being given a record 39th chance in WWE! JBL went into serious fan mode when the bull called out Heath Slater to start the match. The Bull made short work and embarrassed all of 3MB before tagging in Fernando and Diego, who put Drew McIntyre away with their finisher. This was a fun comedy match that the crowd laughed along to and got behind El Torito. 3MB, on the other hand, I haven’t seen so many gimmick changes since Headbanger Mosh!
WINNERS: Los Matadores and El Torito by pinfall.
3 - TONS OF FUNK (w/The Funkadactyls) vs. R-TRUTH & XAVIER WOODS
Truth and Tensai traded dance moves to start, which the crowd liked. Xavier was brought in and took a shot at Clay, who then blind-tagged in. Clay knocked Truth off the apron and then literally squashed Woods with a middle rope splash for the win. Welcome to WWE, Woods, enjoy the 2:00 squash matches on Smackdown!
WINNERS: Tons of Funk by pinfall.
-Renee Young was backstage with C.M. Punk, who claimed to have not heard from Daniel Bryan since Monday's Raw. I’m thinking Punk should check out Men’s Warehouse. Punk made various threats towards The Wyatts and The Shield.
-Bray Wyatt Promo. Bray said that Daniel Bryan is safe with him and will enter the lion's den and come out a monster. I thought he was found in a parking lot with no memory of how he got there? (Sounds like my 27th birthday!). But who really knows where this is going.
4 - TITUS O’NEIL (w/Darren Young) vs. ANTONIO CESARO (w/Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter)
This match was a hoot and a half because Titus was bloated, tired after eating turkey, and looked like he could throw up at any time. Cesaro gave him the Cesaro Swing and Young ran in to cause a DQ to help him buddy. Cole and JBL hooted and hollered throughout the match. That is, until after the match when Titus staggered around the ring and ralphed in JBL’s hat. Instead of showing anything, they used a turkey logo to censor everything. After yakking, Titus put the hat on Michael Cole and the crowd popped. JBL then had to hold back Cole, who wanted to attack Titus. Titus then spit-up/puked on Zeb as the Real Americans looked on. This was gross and lowest common denominator “entertainment” here.
WINNER: Antonio Cesaro by DQ.
-The cast of Total Divas was at the merchandise stand. Someone should try selling them some acting classes…
5 - WWE Tag Team champions CODY RHODES & GOLDUST vs. THE SHIELD (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins) – Tag Title match
This must be the come-down match after that last epic event. Dean Ambrose, who was on commentary, immediately said that Big Show stole the titles from The Shield and gave it to the Rhodes boys. Ambrose also refuses to answer why The Shield jumped Punk last Monday. I don’t have much to say about the match because it was its usual top quality action that comes from these four wrestlers. The commentary was excellent with Dean Ambrose, who killed it on commentary but looked like an idiot when he questioned if Edge and Christian were real brothers and if the Dudley Boys were actually related after talking about brothers who were tag champions in the past. Dean has such a sarcastic and evil tone to his voice when asking questions and answering them on behalf of The Shield!
Goldust got a great sequence in the match when Cody hot-tagged him in and Goldust single-handedly took out both Shield members. His new offense since coming back is so fresh and different from what everyone is doing, just amazing. I love when someone comes off the top rope and Goldust catches him mid-air and hits them with an inverted atomic drop. The numbers ended up being too much for him and he became freak in peril. On a nearfall, Cody made the save and kicked Roman across the face and busted him open underneath the eye and the blood was a-flowing! Hot tag to Cody, who ended up hitting Cross Rhodes on Seth Rollins, but Dean Ambrose ran in to break up the pinfall and caused the DQ!
WINNERS: Cody Rhodes and Goldust retain the tag titles via disqualification.
-C.M. Punk immediately made himself known by running down and cleaning house of The Shield with a chair. Vickie then came to the stage and turned this into a six-man tag match.
6 - C.M. PUNK & CODY RHODES & GOLDUST vs. THE SHIELD
It didn’t take long for things to break down in this match when The Wyatts appeared at ringside and distracted Punk who took a beating from The Shield for a minute or so. Eventually, The Wyatt Family attacked Goldust and Cody to cause a DQ.
WINNERS: Punk, Rhodes, and Goldust by DQ.
-Post-match, The Usos made the save to try to even the score, but were still slightly over-whelmed, so Rey Mysterio did a run-in and the heels were put on the run. Vickie stormed the stage again and turned the situation into a 12-man tag team match.
7 - C.M. PUNK & THE USOS & REY MYSTERIO & CODY RHODES & GOLDUST vs. THE WYATT FAMILY & THE SHIELD
An hour with The Shield, Cody, and Goldust…no complaints here! I mused on Twitter before the Tag Title match started that this episode of Smackdown felt like two hours of stuff crammed in an hour. Now I know why! It should be noted that Bray Wyatt wore a pink ribbon on his shirt, making it nice to know that hillbilly cult leaders also care about breast cancer awareness!
The Shield and The Wyatts were caught bickering amongst themselves throughout the match when Wyatts wouldn’t tag Shield guys and Shield guys wouldn’t tag Wyatts! Rey Mysterio was isolated during the match, but was eventually given an opening to tag in Punk. Punk beat Rowan so bad that he was confused about where he was and tried tagging in one of The Usos!
When Punk almost put Rowan away, all hell broke loose with everyone hitting the ring and nailing their finisher on anyone in their path. Rey saved Punk from Sister Abigail and then hit Rowan with a 619 after one of the worst and sloppiest set-ups for it (I blame Rowan, who didn’t bump properly for a huracanrana) and then Punk hit Rowan with a Go To Sleep for the victory!
WINNERS: Punk, Rey, Cody, Usos, and Goldust by pin.
Thanks for reading, make sure to follow me on Twitter @MJCupach for more wrestling thoughts as I live-tweet during Raw and PPVs. Also, make sure to check out my Total Divas blog and Main Event recap here on PWTorch.com!
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