WWE Smackdown Report PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 8/16: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Friday show, including Van Dam & Henry & Big Show vs. The Shield
Aug 16, 2013 - 9:00:37 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
August 16, 2013
Taped 8/13/13 in San Jose, Calif.
Aired on SyFy
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist (Twitter: @gregmparks)
- WWE Open.
- Smackdown Open.
- After the camera panned the crowd and Michael Cole intro’d the show, a graphic was shown for the big six-man tag match, featuring RVD teaming with Big Show and Mark Henry to take on The Shield.
- Also, in a no-disqualification match, Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett.
- The previous graphic was interrupted by the Wyatt Family’s intro. The Wyatts made their way into the arena. As they did so, a video package on the Wyatts was shown, focusing on them attacking Kane. Bray was sitting in his ever-present chair, which was in the ring. Erick Rowan (in sheep mask) and Luke Harper stood behind him. Bray introduced everyone, then said their actions have been misinterpreted lately. He told a story of Kane’s childhood, saying he hides behind a mask because of how he was made fun of as a child. He said on Sunday, he’d prove that one man’s Hell is another man’s paradise. “Follow the buzzards,” he concluded. Kane’s pyro went off on the corners of the ring, and the Wyatts readied for a fight. Kane attacked from behind though, taking out both Rowan and Harper (which sounds like a pair of comedians). Kane entered the ring and after a brief stand-off, Bray attacked. Kane got the better of him. He went for a chokeslam, but Rowan and Harper interfered and kept Kane at bay long enough for Wyatt to recover and attack, along with his brothers. Bray ended the segment by giving Kane his finisher.
- On the Summerslam kickoff show, Rob Van Dam faces Dean Ambrose for the United States Championship. The pre-show panel will include Shawn Michaels, Booker T., and Natalya.
- Damien Sandow was ringside with his new briefcase and a pair of handcuffs. He cuffed the briefcase to the ring to ensure its safety. Last Friday’s near cash-in by Sandow was shown.
1 – DAMIEN SANDOW vs. CHRISTIAN
Christian went for some high-energy offense to begin the match. Sandow dropped Christian chest-first across the top rope, then gave him a running knee-lift, sending Christian outside the ring. Back in the ring, a cover got him two at 1:10. The match went to ringside again, and Sandow whipped Christian into the ring steps. Christian hit knees-first and flipped over the stairs. They cut to break at 2:18 of the match.
Back at 6:13 of the contest. Christian was working his way out of a rear chin-lock. Back-drop by Christian got him back on the offensive. Looks like the audio sweetener is going to be working overtime tonight. Christian scaled the top rope but missed a cross-body. Neck-breaker by Sandow for two at 8:00. Sunset flip for two by Christian. Elbow off the middle rope, but Sandow countered the Killswitch. Side Russian leg-sweep, but Christian moved before Sandow could hit the Elbow of Disdain. When he went to move Christian back over, Christian small packaged him for the win.
WINNER: Christian, at 9:09. I’ll never understand having two PPV competitors fight on the go-home show, with the finish being one of them getting pinned. They have a whole roster of guys that could’ve taken that loss, but I guess Sandow “putting up a fight” against the World title challenger means something.
After the match, Christian avoided a Sandow attack and speared him. Alberto Del Rio then came from the back and attacked Christian from behind. He got a mic and said it’s the end of the road for Christian. Christian recovered to hit the Killswitch on Del Rio.
- Renee Young was backstage with Rob Van Dam. She asked about his match with Dean Ambrose on Sunday. Van Dam said he’s not worried about the other members of The Shield, and Big Show and Mark Henry walked up to back up his point. Show said he came back because he was sitting at home watching The Shield wreak havoc. Henry said they have a giant on their side, so Van Dam has nothing to worry about. RVD finished the promo by pointing to himself and saying his initials. This six-man match is coming up tonight.
- Cole thanked Clinton Sparks, featuring 2 Chainz, Macklemore and D.A. for “Gold Rush,” the official Summerslam theme.
2 – KAITLYN & NATALYA vs. LAYLA & A.J. LEE
For what it’s worth, after Monday’s debacle, the most senior referee in the company (Mike Chioda) is refereeing this Diva’s match. Natalya and Layla went at it to start. Roll-ups were applied and countered. A distraction by A.J. allowed Layla to take control. A.J. kicked Nattie in the back of the head while the ref was dealing with Layla. Tag to Lee at 1:53. A.J. jumped on Nattie’s back and applied a sleeper hold. Natalya was finally able to break free, and she tagged Kaitlyn. She was able to clobber A.J. and a back-breaker got her a two-count. Gut-buster also got two, but that pin was broken up by Layla. A kick to the hamstring by Layla allowed A.J. to hit the Shining Wizard (as called by Cole) for the win.
WINNERS: A.J. and Layla, at 4:16. Once again, build-up would usually dictate Layla or even Nattie taking the pinfall given that A.J. and Kaitlyn are in a much more high-profile match. WWE throwing convention out the window with these matches/finishes tonight.
- Renee Young interviewed Ryback about not being on the pay per-view Sunday. Ryback (with a new look – jeans and a black vest) mocked Young’s question. He said he’s not on the show because people are scared of him. Something caught his eye off camera and he asked the guy what he was looking at. Eventually Ryback went over to a production assistant, and Ryback bullied him. The guy didn’t respond to Ryback’s questions, so Ryback punched him in the gut and slapped him across the face. He followed that by pushing the over a table while others looked on. Hey, was that Joey Ryan in the background there?
- Up next, a special look at The Best vs. The Beast.
- Cole gushed over the 20 million unique visitors who watched WWE programming last week.
- A video package on C.M. Punk vs. Brock Lesnar aired. Previously recorded comments from Paul Heyman and Punk were shown.
- The Shield made their way from the crowd and into the ring. They face RVD, Big Show, and Mark Henry next.
- They showed the end of Bray Wyatt’s promo from earlier, as well as the attack on and by Kane. They recapped basically every physical aspect of the segment.
3 – THE SHIELD vs. ROB VAN DAM & MARK HENRY & THE BIG SHOW
Henry looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Once the babyfaces made it to the ring, RVD winning the battle royal on Raw was shown, as was the run-in by The Shield and the save by Big Show. An angry Henry simply shoved Seth Rollins into the corner and then slammed him. RVD came in and kicked Rollins in the face. Monkey flip then a standing moonsault for two. Blind tag was made and Dean Ambrose nailed Van Dam from behind. “We want Big Show” chant from the fans. Roman Reigns tagged in and slowly worked over RVD while Big Show yelled at him from the apron. Reigns nailed Henry, allowing RVD to even things up. Reigns tagged Ambrose and Show was tagged in as well. Show cleaned house and splashed Ambrose in the corner. He hit the ropes and Reigns low-bridged him. Show was down at ringside. Reigns was stalking him, but Henry grabbed him and threw him over the announce table. Rollins dove over the top and onto Henry. Show made into the ring at a count of nine. Knockout punch on Ambrose and Van Dam tagged in. Five-Star Frog Splash, then the pin.
WINNERS: Van Dam, Henry and Show, at 4:48. Much shorter than I expected, but good for what it was. I don’t know that we needed RVD to pin Ambrose to make people think he has a chance Sunday, but I guess I’m done trying to understand these finishes.
Replays of the last match were shown.
- Tonight, Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan in a no-DQ match.
- The Miz was walking backstage. He faces Jack Swagger next.
- As The Real Americans came to the ring, Zeb Colter cut a promo. He insulted San Jose and told Miz no one likes him. That might be the most truthful thing he’s ever said. He called Miz a “phony” and a “fraud.” Colter said Miz walks around without knowing what’s going on in this country. He said if Hollywood had any sense, they’d put Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger’s names in lights. He asked people to stand up, put their hands over their hearts, and repeat with them: “We the People.”
4 – THE MIZ vs. JACK SWAGGER
Miz dropkicked Swagger in the knee and worked over the leg in preparation for the figure-four. Swagger slammed Miz in response. Sloppy whip into the corner – Miz was expecting a short clothesline, and Swagger was going for a straight Irish whip. Swagger did follow it up with a short-arm clothesline. Shoulder knock-down by Swagger, but Miz followed with a neck-breaker. I think I heard a faint “JBL” chant. Miz planted Swagger with a short DDT for two. Swagger ducked a running knee and Miz hit a corner clothesline. Cesaro tried to interfere and as Miz was distracted, Swagger knocked him off the apron. The referee then sent Cesaro to the back. Colter argued and he was dismissed as well. A distracted Swagger fell victim to a roll-up by Miz for the win.
WINNER: Miz, at 3:19. The host of Summerslam was put over stronger than some who are actually wrestling on the card.
- Bryan vs. Barrett, no-DQ, tonight.
- Curtis Axel is in action next. We’ll also hear from Paul Heyman.
5 – ZACK RYDER vs. CURTIS AXEL
No entrance for Ryder. Quick roll-up by Ryder for two. A couple arm-drags followed that as well. Back elbow by Axel. Marc Harris, of Monday’s controversial Diva’s match finish, was the ref here. JBL made a few veiled references to the incident. Ryder dropkicked Axel from the second rope. Axel avoided the Broski Boot, but did kick him outside the ring. Heyman, at ringside, looked somewhat distracted. As Axel face-planted Ryder for the finish, the crowd chanted “C.M. Punk.”
WINNER: Axel, at 3:02. Fine showcase for Axel, but he needs to show more.
Heyman took a microphone from ringside. He’ll speak after the break.
- Heyman was still in the ring. No Axel, though. Heyman said he was outsmarted by C.M. Punk on Raw. Heyman mocked Punk for using a camera against Brock Lesnar. He said Punk just proved how right he’s been when he has advertised Punk as “The Best.” Heyman said Punk has now made himself the target of revenge, and that vengeance will come in the form of Brock Lesnar.
- Cole and JBL were shown on-camera talking about Punk vs. Lesnar. Cole segued to John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan. A video package aired on that match, beginning the night after Money in the Bank.
- Daniel Bryan came to the ring for his match against Wade Barrett. It’s next.
6 – DANIEL BRYAN vs. WADE BARRETT – NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH
As Barrett came to the ring, they showed Brad Maddox’s quick count that ended this match Monday night. Leg whip by Bryan out of the corner. Modified surf-board was next, with Bryan pulling up on the nose of Barrett. Barrett fired back with a knee-lift. That offense didn’t last long, as Bryan clotheslined Barrett out of the ring. Barrett rammed Bryan back-first into the barricade after Bryan missed a baseball slide. Hard whip into the barricade followed. Barrett missed a running kick and Bryan kicked Barrett in the chest a number of times. Barrett fell into the timekeeper’s area, allowing Bran to pull a table out from under the ring. Barrett slammed Bryan’s head off the announce table, then whipped him into the steel steps. Kendo stick in hand, Barrett re-entered the ring. He wailed away on the back of Bryan. Bryan recovered and hit a dropkick off the top rope on Barrett. All of a sudden, Vince McMahon’s music hit and he walked out in a red checked suit jacket. His taste in clothes gets worse as he ages. They went to break with McMahon coming to the ring at 5:03 of the match.
Back at 8:24 of the match. A swinging neck-breaker by Barrett led to a near-fall. McMahon was standing and watching from the bottom of the ramp. Bryan approached McMahon outside the ring and started his “Yes!” cheer. He kicked at Barrett at ringside, in front of Vince. Barrett ended up blocking a suplex and hitting one of his own. McMahon smiled and chanted “Yes!” at that. Barrett took a chair to the back of Bryan. Barrett missed an elbow off the second rope, with the chair. Bryan shifted into high gear with his running dropkicks. He took the kendo stick (“Kendo Nagasaki is smilin’!” proclaimed JBL) and alternated kendo stick shots and kicks. Kick to the head missed and Barrett rolled up Bryan. Bryan turned it into a Yes Lock. Vince pulled the ref out of the ring so that he missed Barrett’s tap out. The ref was selling much more than Vince pulling him out of the ring called for. Bull Hammer by Barrett, and Vince waved another referee down. It was Brad Maddox. Maddox did a regular count for two. McMahon and Barrett implored him to count faster. The dude in the white cutoff tee and the sheep mask in the crowd at ringside, by the way, was frightening. Bryan kicked Barrett in the head, but Maddox refused to count the pin. Vince skulked around ringside and handed a kendo stick to Barrett. With Bryan arguing with Maddox, Barrett charged at Bryan. Bryan moved and Barrett hit Maddox in the head with the kendo stick. Bryan shoved Barrett through a table, which was set up in the corner. Still no referee to count. McMahon took off his jacket, took off Chioda’s ref shirt (how he was still out is beyond me) and as he was about to go into the ring, Triple H’s music played and he walked out wearing the stripes. Bryan smiled and went to the top rope. Diving headbutt, and Triple H counted the pin.
WINNER: Bryan, at 16:38.
Bryan and Triple H both did the “Yes!” arm raises, much to the chagrin of McMahon. Randy Orton then came out with his Money in the Bank briefcase. Orton looked at the case…then at Bryan. Bryan shook his head “no” as the two stared at each other. The show went off the air at that point.
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Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to email@example.com.
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