WWE Smackdown Report PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 3/22: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the Friday night show, including Chris Jericho vs. Jack Swagger in a rematch from last week
Mar 22, 2013 - 9:00:10 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
March 22, 2013
Taped 3/19/13 in Cincinnati, Ohio
Aired on SyFy
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist (Twitter: @gregmparks)
- The opening video package and voice-over guy (who really needs a name) chronicled Jack Swagger’s attack on Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez on Raw. Also, The Shield’s six-man match has been altered with Big Show replacing Ryback.
- The in-arena portion of Smackdown began with Miz TV and Miz already in the ring. Miz introduced his guests, Randy Orton and Sheamus, who were already in the ring. Talk about saving time. Miz asked about Big Show being inserted as their partner in the six-man tag and Orton noted Show did attempt to save them on Raw. Sheamus said neither he nor Orton trust Big Show, but then again, Orton doesn’t trust anyone. He said they’re in survival mode at this point. He said Show needs them as much as they need Show. Orton continued the clichés, saying it’s better to be with the devil you know than the devil you don’t know. Miz then introduced Big Show, who actually got an entrance. Michael Cole, Josh Mathews and JBL were ringside to handle announcing duties. I wonder if JBL had good cable reception on the mountain he climbed in order to keep up with the happenings on WWE TV.
Miz brought up his previous association with Show and how that ended, saying he trusts Show about as far as he can throw him. Show said he didn’t like either of his partners, but if they work together, not even The Shield can stop them. Sheamus said they’ve had wars together and Show said, “true that.” That just sounded wrong. Sheamus asked Show how he knows that Show won’t high-tail it when things get tough. He noted that if he just tucked-tail and ran, he wouldn’t have beaten Sheamus for the title. Good point. Sheamus and Show almost came to blows until Orton separated them. Miz couldn’t believe Orton was the voice of reason. Show and Sheamus continued arguing until soon-to-be Hall-of-Famer and Smackdown general manager Booker T. came out.
Booker said he needs to find out if the three of them can get along. So tonight, they’ll team up in the main event tonight to take on…well, no opponents were named. I’m guessing Yoshi Tatsu, JTG, and Alex Riley. Show left the ring first.
- Also to come tonight, in a return match from last week, Chris Jericho vs. Jack Swagger.
1 – MARK HENRY vs. ZACK RYDER
The excitement in Lilian Garcia’s voice when she announced Ryder belied his slim chances here. Henry cornered Ryder and gave him a hard back-elbow. The Internet Championship that is airbrushed on Ryder’s tights just looks…weird. Ryder got out of a powerslam and made the tactical mistake of trying a cross-body. Henry caught him and gave him a World’s Strongest Slam.
WINNER: Henry, at :52. I won’t cry for Ryder here. Mark Henry as Mr. Domination trumps all.
Henry gave Ryder another World’s Strongest Slam after the match. The crowd chanted “Feed Me More” as Henry slammed Ryder again. The strange thing was, during the rather loud chant, they only showed close-ups of Henry, as if to not give away that the crowd wasn’t chanting that at all and that it was the doing of WWE’s production team. Ryback did eventually come out. More “Feed Me More” chants, and as the two men sized each other up from opposite corners, they finally ran at each other. Ryback’s clothesline floored Henry, who quickly exited the ring. Ryback’s music played as Henry did some trash talking from the aisle.
- Booker T. was shown watching on TV backstage. Teddy Long walked up and asked if Booker was proud of him for making Ryback vs. Henry at Mania. He said he liked the match, but didn’t like how Long handled his business. He said Long works for him, not Vickie. Long told him to “slow your role,” and said he works WITH Booker, not for him. And that was how the segment ended. It’s strange for them to be going this direction with Booker, where he’s seemingly trashing Teddy lately for no reason, all the while putting him in the Hall-of-Fame.
- The Booker T. HOF induction video was shown.
- As the fans cheered, all three announcers were shown standing and clapping as well. Cole wondered whether Booker would go in as himself, G.I. Bro or King Booker. JBL suggested King Booker. I’m begging for Stevie Ray to induct him.
2 – DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. KOFI KINGSTON
As Ziggler came to the ring, they showed a graphic for Ziggler & Big E. Langston vs. Team Hell No for the Tag Titles at Wrestlemania. A.J. joined the commentary team and sat ON the ringside table. Kingston aggressively went after Ziggler to start, but Ziggler turned the tide with a neck-breaker. A few chops by Kofi, then a dropkick took down his foe. Boom Drop early on, then he set up for Trouble in Paradise about a minute in. Big E. provided a distraction on the outside and Ziggler dropkicked Kingston for a two-count. They went to break 1:23 into the match.
The show returned at about the five minute mark. Kofi went to the top, but Ziggler knocked him off. High dropkick by Ziggler for two. It’s amazing to hear A.J. on commentary compared to the other Divas who have done it in the past. She just blows most of them out of the water. Ziggler missed a shoulder-first charge and ended up slamming his appendage into the ring post. Ziggler got his knees up on a springboard splash from Kingston. Kingston missed Trouble in Paradise, allowing Ziggler to jump on his back and apply the sleeper. SOS connected for a two-count at 8:32. Kingston went to dive on Ziggler outside the ring, but Langston moved over to get in Kingston’s way. Kofi then jumped off the top rope and took Langston down. That led to Ziggler giving Kingston the Fameasser outside the ring. He dragged the dead weight of Kingston into the ring and Kingston, on rubber leg street, was on the receiving end of the Zig Zag.
WINNER: Ziggler, at 10:01. Good match, as if that needed to be written. Yet, I can’t help but think WWE should at least put Ziggler and Langston in tag matches leading up to Mania to at least build up their in-ring prowess as a team since, you know, they’re getting tag title shots and haven’t really done much (any?) tag wrestling together.
After the match, Langston gave his finisher to Kingston. Like the voice-over guy at the beginning of the show, that move could use a name, too.
- A video aired of Fandango introducing himself to Chris Jericho on Raw, and all the jokes Jericho unleashed.
- Tonight, Jericho vs. Swagger. Apparently, “rematch” has been removed from announcer lexicon, replaced with “return match.”
- Up next, we’ll see what C.M. Punk did on Raw to further tarnish the legacy of Paul Bearer. That’s pretty much how they billed it, anyway.
- The Raw Rebound aired.
- Cole plugged WWE.com for more on Punk vs. Undertaker.
- Randy Orton, Sheamus, and Big Show were arguing backstage. I guess it was more like Show and Sheamus arguing while Orton stayed out of it until he finally told them they need to get along or they’ll be sitting ducks for The Shield. He walked away as Show and Sheamus stayed silent.
- The announcers were shown on-camera as they switched gears from the six-man match to what happened with Jack Swagger and Ricardo Rodriguez on Raw. They said Del Rio wasn’t in the arena tonight, instead, he was at home tending to Rodriguez.
- Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter came to the ring for Swagger’s match with Chris Jericho. It’s next.
- Back from break, Swagger and Colter did some mic work. Colter said what they did to Rodriguez on Raw was “unfortunate, but necessary.” He said it’s nothing compared to what will happen to Del Rio at Wrestlemania. He said what happened to Rodriguez should be a wake-up call to Del Rio and the fans who disagree with what they say. “We the People!” Swagger shouted until Jericho’s fireworks interrupted him.
3 – JACK SWAGGER vs. CHRIS JERICHO
It was back-and-forth early on, which enraged Swagger, who threw a tantrum at ringside. Colter attempted to calm him down, but Jericho gave Swagger a baseball slide. Back in the ring, Swagger dove at Jericho’s knee to take him down. Swagger hit the ropes and was hit with a dropkick from Jericho. Swagger caught a Jericho dive and slammed him into the corner. JBL and Cole argued over the merits of Swagger and his character holding the World Title. The two men fought on the middle rope, with Jericho knocking Swagger to the mat. Jericho hit a cross-body off the top for two at 3:44. Jericho continued the assault, taking out Swagger again outside the ring. They went to break at 4:10 of the match.
Back at 7:40 of the contest, with Jericho running into a big boot from Swagger. Swagger slowed the match down as he went to work on Jericho. Corner charged missed by Swagger, allowing Jericho to get the advantage. Axe-handle off the top from Y2J. Swagger tried to powerbomb Jericho out of the corner and Jericho attempted to turn it into a hurricanrana. Patriot Lock by Swagger, but Jericho countered. Springboard dropkick knocked Swagger off the apron. This led to Fandango making his entrance. Gee, who set up his flashy entrance, allowing him to interrupt? Fandango and his dancer approached the ring. Swagger slammed Jericho and got a two-count. “What’s he doing?” asked Cole, as Fandango gyrated at ringside. “He’s Fandango-ing,” replied JBL. That’s got to be the greatest exchange in some time. Jericho tried the Walls of Jericho, but Jericho appeared to turn it into a monkey flip in which Swagger hit the ropes. Zeb got on the apron to distract the ref, allowing Fandango to kick Jericho and Swagger to hit the Vader bomb for the win.
WINNER: Swagger, at 12:33. I have to imagine a lot of people were like me during this match, switching back and forth between this and the epic FGCU (my adopted area college) upset of Georgetown. Okay, maybe there wasn’t a lot of flipping and people were just watching the game.
Fandango entered the ring after the match and assaulted Jericho. Fandango leapt to the top rope and posed, then connected on a leg-drop. Fandango finished his dance on the apron.
- Big Show was backstage with Matt Striker. Show agreed with what Orton has been saying all night.
- Up next, a special look at The Rock vs. John Cena.
- We got a video package on the Cena vs. Rock Wrestlemania match.
- A graphic for The Rock being on Raw this Monday was shown.
- Team Rhodes Scholars were in the ring with the Bella Twins. Cody Rhodes said they’re bringing the fans a special gift tonight. Damien Sandow introduced the Bellas as “the class of the Divas division.” Brodus Clay and Tensai then came out with the Funkadactyls. The chyron still read “Tensai,” and not “Sweet T.”
4 - TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS vs. BRODUS CLAY & TENSAI
Tensai took down Rhodes, but missed a splash. Clay tagged in and gave Rhodes a series of clotheslines, then Clay headbutted Sandow in the chest. Big splash on Rhodes in the corner. JBL made a Bull Nakano reference on commentary. The four ladies outside the ring went at it after one of the Bellas got on the apron. The four men then brawled at ringside as well. The ref threw out the match at this point.
WINNERS: No Contest, at 1:07. This really should set up an eight-person tag for Wrestlemania. I think it would be okay as an undercard match.
- Striker interviewed Sheamus and Orton backstage. He asked if they were on the same page with Big Show. Sheamus said they trust Show as much as he trusts them. “Trust me.” Striker was going to throw it back to Mathews when Sheamus poked his head back into the scene and said, “no really…trust me.” Then they went to break. Why was Striker going to throw it to Josh then?
5 – ANTONIO CESARO vs. THE MIZ
Miz got an entrance (which explains why he didn’t to start the show), but Cesaro did not. Neither did Wade Barrett, who was on commentary for this match. Cesaro gave Miz a hard knee to the face, one that even looked vicious on replay. Gutwrench suplex by Cesaro for two. Knee-lift by Miz, followed by a running boot. Corner clothesline found the mark, as did a top-rope double axe-handle. Cesaro missed a jumping knee in the corner and Miz applied the Figure-Four. Cesaro tapped very quickly.
WINNER: Miz, at 2:12. Now that Ziggler is winning a lot, Cesaro is the upper mid-card heel who gets to lose all the time.
Post-match, Miz again applied the Figure-Four, all the while looking at Barrett to send a message to him. Barrett, looking intimidating in a t-shirt, jeans, and a taped first, simply raised his IC Title as a retort.
- Cole sent it to clips of the premiere party for The Call. Some stars (and David Otunga) were interviewed on the red carpet.
- Up next, we’ll see if Triple H gave in to Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar’s demands on Raw.
- The exterior of the U.S. Bank Arena was shown.
- They showed Brock Lesnar on the cover of the latest Muscle & Fitness Magazine.
- The final segment from Raw was shown in video package form.
- Randy Orton came out for the six-man main event. The opponents are still unknown. Sheamus came out second. They went to break before Big Show’s entrance.
- Show was in the ring out of break, awaiting their opponents.
6 – RANDY ORTON & SHEAMUS & BIG SHOW vs. 3MB
Jinder Mahal began the match with Orton. Hard clothesline and another one from Orton. Double back-elbows by Sheamus and Orton. The ref separated Sheamus from Mahal in the corner and Mahal got a few shots of his own in. Ironically, the tide turned when the referee pulled Mahal off of Sheamus in the corner. Rolling senton by Sheamus. Show seemed to do a good job of cheerleading on the apron. Sheamus shushed the crowd then slapped Mahal on the chest, drawing a smile from Show. Show tagged in, as did Drew McIntyre. McIntyre charged at Show, but was headbutted down. Show set McIntyre on the apron and slapped McIntyre, a la Sheamus. Mahal was brought in the hard way after a tag and he immediately ceded the ring to Heath Slater. Slater didn’t want in, but Show pulled him into the ring. Show made the tag to Orton, who dropped the knee on Slater. Orton was hung up on the top rope and Slater kicked him for a two-count. Show stomped on the steel steps to get the crowd into the match and behind Orton. 3MB isolated Orton in the heel corner. Slater went to the top rope, only to be dropkicked by Orton in mid-air. Show tagged in and steamrolled Mahal. McIntyre booted Show, but after Sheamus tagged in, Show gave Mac the Knockout punch. Sheamus Brogue Kicked Mahal for the win.
WINNERS: Sheamus, Orton, and Show, at 5:52.
The tag by Sheamus was a blind tag, which Show did not appreciate and he let Sheamus know about it after the match. Orton played peacemaker once again as The Shield’s music played. They were shown in the crowd. They didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get to the ring. Finally, they began to approach more quickly. They did this as Show attacked Sheamus. Orton tried to break it up and was pushed aside. All three men were arguing as The Shield reached ringside. The faces kept a tight perimeter so as to not allow The Shield into the ring. The Shield backed away and exited through the crowd. The show went off the air with the three faces staring down The Shield.
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Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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