WWE Smackdown Report CUPACH'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT: Alt. perspective review of Super Smackdown replaying tonight on Syfy
Dec 21, 2012 - 7:00:03 PM
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WWE Smackdown Report
December 18, 2012
Semi-Live from Pittsburgh, Pa.
Aired live on USA Network
By Michael Cupach, PWTorch contributor
-Smackdown starts off with the voice-over guy asking questions on why Big E. Langston jumped John Cena, whether The Big Show proven he is the most dominant World Champion is history, and what will happen when John Cena and Sheamus team up to face Big Show and Dolph Ziggler!
-Josh Mathews welcomes everyone to Super Smackdown Live!
-The Miz is on the set of MizTV and his guests are more dangerous than Lindsay Lohan in a moving vehicle (lame), A.J. Lee and Dolph Ziggler. A.J. and Dolph make their way out accompanied by Big E. Langston. A.J. and Dolph share a kiss as Michael Cole throws to stills from TLC where A.J. tipped over the ladder on Cena before he could win the briefcase. They also show Langston’s debut last night.
Miz starts off by asking “why?” and A.J. responds by asking him to ask Cena why he toyed with her heart. A.J. says that she lost her job as GM so John could keep his name clean, but she is glad it happened because her fake kiss with Cena won a Slammy award. That is what is important in life…Slammy awards. A.J. goes on to say that she was sick of Cena playing with her love and emotions when she wanted to shout their love from a rooftop. A.J. says she made gifts for John, then threw to a clip of Vickie showing Cena bows with his picture on them that she found in A.J.’s locker and Cena mocked them, thinking that Vickie was making it up. A.J. then plays a clip of Cena not letting A.J. be a part of his life, like not letting her accompany him to the ring. A.J. calls herself John Cena’s dirty little secret when she thought he was different, but he is the same as Daniel Bryan, Kane, and C.M. Punk. AJ bottom-lines it by saying that he broke her heart, so she helped Dolph Ziggler break John Cena.
Miz asks if any of them remember Ziggler calling her trash a few weeks ago. Big E. takes offense to what The Miz said and says he wants to know who he is. Big E. keeps staring down Miz as he thinks about how to apologize. Ziggler tells Miz that A.J. isn’t crazy, then has her ear-muff it when he says “crazy.” Ziggler calls the kiss they shared last night the hottest kiss on Monday Night Raw. Ziggler then talks about Cena winning the “Superstar of the Year” Slammy and how on Sunday he beat the Superstar of the Year and then on Monday he stole his girlfriend. The Miz says that they deserve each other and wishes Dolph luck in pleasing all her personalities. Miz then runs down every guy she has been with the last year and Big E. plows him over. Big E. hits his big move on Miz at command of Ziggler and A.J. picks up the microphone and says “Show Off.”
-At the announce booth, the guys run down the main event.
-Backstage, Booker T is backstage. He gets approached by Teddy Long, who wants Booker to give a kid he knows a chance. Brad Maddox walks in and introduces himself. Booker takes offense and doesn’t want to give the guy who screwed Ryback a chance. Teddy plugs The Brad Maddox Experience and says that he has a big social media following and deserves a shot at earning a contract. Long asks Booker if he of all people doesn’t believe that Brad deserves a second chance. Booker agrees to give him a match and tells Teddy to find an opponent.
[Q2] Damien Sandow and Sin Cara make their entrances. Rey gets his own entrance, but no-shows to the confusion of the announcers and Sin Cara.
1 - DAMIEN SANDOW (w/Cody Rhodes) vs. SIN CARA
Looks like the mix and match contests continue with these two. Sandow ducks a handspring elbow to start, then rolls out of the ring to confer with Cody. Sandow rolls back in and Sin Cara springboard armdrags him across the ring. Sin Cara tries a springboard from the apron, but Cody hooks his ankle and pulls him to the floor behind the ref’s back. Vertical suplex by Sandow into a chinlock. Cole goes into a discussion about Cody’s mustache and JBL comes through with a plethora of examples of famous people with mustaches
Side Russian legsweep from Sandow, but he fails to follow up with the elbow of disdain. Sandow goes back to the chinlock as the mustache talk continues. Sin Cara counters the chinlock with a jawbreaker; Sandow then misses a charge in the corner. Cara nails Damien with a springboard back elbow. He then barely - and I mean “barely” - connects with a crossbody for a two count. Sandow rolls to the outside again and Cara flies over the top rope with a tope to take out both Rhodes and Sandow.
The Shield then comes through the crowd, and Roman Reigns throws Rey Mysterio’s mask into the ring to distract Sin Cara. Damien Sandow hits Sin Cara with the Terminoose for the win.
WINNER: Damien Sandow by pin in 6:00.
-Post-match, The Shield does a three-on-one assault on Sin Cara. Rollins comes off the top rope and drops a knee on Sin Cara's knee that he tweaked at TLC. Sin Cara then rolls around the ring clutching his knee as a trainer comes in to tend to him.
-Tribute to the Troops vignette featuring Flo Rida and Miss Piggy.
-The camera pans downtown Pittsburgh to reset the show.
2 - SANTINO MARELLA vs. TENSAI
Apparently Santino insulted Tensai last night at the Slammy’s while presenting the “LOL of the Year Award.”
[Q3] Santino runs from Tensai to start as the crowd chants “Albert” and he plays to it temporarily. Tensai plows over Santino and stomps on him. Santino does a comedy spot where he power-walks past Tensai. Tensai knocks him down and berates him for embarrassing him last night. Marella escapes a powerslam and tries to German Suplex Tensai, but can’t get him up. Santino then tries a bodyslam, but falls while holding him. Neck vice by Tensai. Santino escapes but runs into a clothesline.
Tensai no-sells a dropkick and then yells “Fat Albert, huh?” at Santino. Santino comes back with a hip toss and diving chop. Tensai blocks the Cobra and puts him in a sleeper. The Cobra helps Santino escape, then Santino hits him with the Cobra to no effect. Tensai tries his senton splash, then Santino rolls out of the way and pins Tensai to pick up the win!
WINNER: Santino by pin in 4:30.
-Post-match: Tensai is showing frustration after losing to Santino.
-Michael Cole has a injury update that Sin Cara suffered “serious knee damage.” That is a technical term, I don’t expect everyone to understand what that means, check out webmd.com for more info!
-Monday night, Ric Flair returned at The Slammys, where he had altercations with The Shield, C.M. Punk, and Paul Heyman. Flair, Team Hell No, and Ryback fought off The Shield.
-Backstage, Kofi is with Team Hell No. Kane asks Kofi to grow eyes in the back of his head for tonight's tag match because The Shield will try to attack them tonight. Kofi then asks them for a piece of Wade Barrett because he wants to get revenge. Daniel Bryan changes topics and is upset for not winning a Slammy last night. Kofi taunts Bryan with his Slammy. A argument breaks out about best catchphrase and Kofi thinks that Ric Flair’s “woo” is the best, but Bryan thinks he has the best catchphrase with “no!”
-Last night after Kofi’s win against Tensai, Wade Barrett laid out Kofi with a Bullhammer Elbow, which is why Kofi wants revenge.
-Wade Barrett and The Prime Time Players make their way to the ring for a six-man tag match.
-Team Hell No and Kofi are out next.
3 - TEAM HELL NO & KOFI KINGSTON vs. PRIME TIME PLAYERS & WADE BARRETT - six-man tag match
Michael Cole confirms quickly that Rey Mysterio suffered a neck injury at the hands of The Shield, as he was jumped before the show went on the air. Kofi and Titus start things off, but Kofi goes after Barrett instead outside the ring. Titus goes out and slams the back of Kofi’s head into the mat. Back in the ring, Darren Young is tagged in. Kofi nails him with a dropkick and tags in Bryan. Bryan nails Darren with a series of no kicks.
[Q4] Bryan with a surfboard on Young; he pulls it off and Kane tags himself in. Kane kicks Young in the face and tries to put him away, but to no avail. Kane whips Young into the face corner and tags in Bryan, who running-dropkicks Young in the corner. Bryan stomps away at Darren, then stands up Young and kicks him some more in the corner. Young picks up Bryan hits him with a stungun and then tags in Wade Barrett.
Barrett pounds away on Bryan and then hits him with a running knee in the corner. Bryan fights out of a chinlock and hot tags Kofi, Kofi takes out Barrett with a series of clotheslines and dropkicks. Kofi nails Wade with the Boom Drop, then goes for Trouble in Paradise, but Darren Young distracts Kofi and Wade clotheslines him out of the ring. Titus tags in, and he goes to the outside and whips Kofi into the barricade.
Back in the ring, Titus O'Neil puts Kofi in an abdominal stretch. The camera cuts to a shot of an entrance in the crowd and Cole asks if The Shield is coming, but no sign of them. Young back suplexes Kofi for a two count, he picks Kofi up and whips him into the corner. Neck vice by Darren Young, Kofi almost tags out, but Young stops him at the last second. Michael Cole updates that Rey has a severe neck injury and he is being rushed to the hospital along with Sin Cara.
Wade Barrett is tagged in. He takes some shots at Kofi and tags Young back in. Cole and JBL argue about The Shield causing fights and injuring people. Kofi then Tornado-DDTs Young and tags in Kane. Titus is tagged in, and Kane cleans house of him and puts him down with a sidewalk slam. Kane misses a missile clothesline after being distracted by Darren Young. Titus nails Kane with his finisher, but Bryan saves him. Barrett sends Bryan to the floor, where Kofi takes care of Barrett. Darren Young is tagged in, he tries a three point stance on Kane after Bryan pulls Titus to the floor, Kane catches Young with a chokeslam to pick up the win.
WINNERS: Team Hell No and Kofi Kingston in 10:30.
-Ad for WWEShop.com.
-At the announce table, they throw to a clip of Big E. Langston making his debut last night.
-Backstage, Sheamus is with John Cena. Sheamus is in the middle of a story about back in Ireland, so Cena cuts him off and gets him to focus on Big E. and what he can do from outside the ring. Cena calls him the strongest superstar on the roster. Cena gets ready to leave, but Sheamus calls him back and asks the crack on A.J., Cena says he will give him the scoop and whispers sweet nothings into Sheamus’s ear. Sheamus makes weird facial expressions and then pulls away and exclaims “Are you serious?” Cena says he wasn’t done, then whispers more and Sheamus looks scared. Sheamus asks if that is possible and Cena admits that he is kidding. That was awkward. Clearly this segment was meaningless filler for a commercial-free show.
-C.M. Punk and Paul Heyman are out. I’m surprised that Heyman isn’t still selling the Figure Four from Flair last night.
[Q5] Punk references Back to the Future’s “Gray’s Sports Almanac” and says that someday it will acknowledge him as the greatest Superstar of all time, even though he didn’t win a Slammy last night. Punk is still bitter about not winning and calls the whole thing a phony popularity contest. Punk blames his loss on women being allowed to vote. Punk says that he expects that kind of behavior by losers and calls the crowd and John Cena the biggest bunch of losers he knows. He then says that deep down Cena knows that the Slammy belongs in the hand sof the best in the world, but instead of giving the award to the best in the world, he gives it to Ric Flair.
The crowd whoo's at Punk and he says that he wants them to keep cheering those losers who keep coming back to steal the spotlight. Punk notes that Flair might be a 16-time champion in his 95-year career, but what is more impressive is a guy who wins the title and doesn’t lose it for 400 days!
Punk calls himself the gold standard and wants to be praised for being on Raw and Smackdown only two weeks after emergency surgery, caused by Ryback, to entertain everyone. Punk then takes shots at Pittsburgh's hockey team and the NHL lock-out. This interview feels like it's dragging on and is another example of filler. Just as I type this, Ryback’s music plays and he comes to the ring. Punk uses his crutches to keep Ryback at bay. Paul Heyman reminds Ryback that Punk isn’t cleared to compete, but Ryback says that he will be by the time of the first Raw of 2013. I guess that was a challenge, as he was more or less stating a fact, but the announcers played it up like the match will be going on on January 7.
4 - U.S. champion ANTONIO CESARO vs. RYBACK – non-title match
Cesaro stalls outside the ring to start. As these matches go on and guys go outside the ring, I can only imagine when commercials breaks would be slotted in. Cesaro tries a sunset flip, but Ryback slams the back of Cesaro’s head into the mat. European uppercut from Antonio Cesaro, then Ryback no-sells and knocks Cesaro down and splashes him. Ryback calls for the meathook clothesline; Cesaro rolls out of the ring and tries to leave, but Ryback picks him up and tries to press slam him. Cesaro slips out and shoves Ryback shoulder-first into the post.
Cesaro rolls him back into the ring and tells the referee to count, but Ryback rolls back into the ring at eight. Cobra Clutch by Cesaro, but Ryback powers out. Ryback misses a charge in the corner and goes shoulder first into the post. Cesaro comes off the top rope with a flying European Uppercut for a two count. Neck vice by Cesaro on Ryback.
[Q6] Ryback no-sells a series of kicks and uppercuts by Antonio, Ryback explodes out of the corner and runs him over. Meathook clothesline almost takes Cesaro's head off. Ryback puts Cesaro away with Shell-shocked for the win.
WINNER: Ryback by pinfall in 5:00.
-Sneak peek of Tribute to the Troops is shown. Miz flies in an F-18, and it looks like he does better than the oil drillers from the movie Armageddon.
-Backstage, Kaitlyn is approached by A.J., who thinks that Kaitlyn gave her a look. Kaitlyn says that what A.J. is doing makes it hard for them to be friends. A.J. starts fake crying. Kaitlyn tells her that she has a title match to prepare for and that A.J. needs help. Kaitlyn calls A.J. a lunatic and the two start brawling. Referees break it up.
5 - Divas champion EVE vs. KAITLYN – Divas Title match
Kaitlyn looks disheveled coming to the ring. Takedown by Eve to start thing soff, she then tosses Kaitlyn across the ring by the hair. Eve puts her boot on Kaitlyn’s face, she then tries a cocky pin, but comes up short. Eve kicks Kaitlyn to the floor, she follows her out and slams Kaitlyns face on the ring apron.
Back in the ring, Eve puts Kaitlyn in a crossface chicken-wing type submission. Legsweep from Eve almost gets the win, she goes back to the crossface. JBL and Cole argue about smartphones and current technology, showing me that they don’t care about this match at all. Kaitlyn tries rolling Eve up out of nowhere, but Eve kicks out. Eve walks into a boot from Kaitlyn, who tries a sunset flip, but Eve kicks out. Scoopslam to Eve followed by an inverted DDT, then Eve kicks out of a pin attempt. Eve gets sent to the floor; Kaitlyn dives out after her and slams Eves head into the announce table. Kaitlyn rolls Eve into the ring, Kaitlyn goes to the top rope, Eve grabs onto the ankles of the referee and refuses to let go, and she trips the referee. He calls for the DQ.
WINNER: Kaitlyn by DQ in 6:00.
Mike's Reax: That might have been the lamest finish to a match ever and was poorly executed at that.
-Backstage, A.J. is with Dolph and Big E. She is crying about what Kaitlyn did to her earlier. Dolph tells her not to worry about it because he is a future champ and Kaitlyn is a current nobody. Big Show laughs at the idea of Dolph being a future champion. Show then warns Ziggler that if he tries anything tonight, he will punch Dolph so hard that when he wakes up, his Money in the Bank contract will have expired!
-A "WWE Week on USA" commercial is shown on this commercial-free episode of Smackdown!
-Last night on Raw, Sheamus attacked Big Show with an oversized chair and laid him out with a Brogue Kick. While Show was out, Dolph Ziggler tried cashing in, but John Cena thwarted his attempt.
-Still to come, John Cena and Sheamus vs. Big Show and Dolph Ziggler.
-Brad Maddox is out. He says his name over and over on the microphone, then says that no one will ever forget his name after tonight because he will win his match and get a WWE contract. He is facing Brodus Clay tonight.
6 - BRODUS CLAY vs. BRAD MADDOX
Slam by Clay to start. He then headbutts Brad and t-bone suplexes him. Backstage, Booker T is watching on and laughing at Maddox taking a beating. Brad hangs Brodus on the rope to take advantage. Brad drives the point of the elbow to Brodus's skull, and the referee breaks it up because Clay in under the ropes. After Maddox complains and complains, Clay is up and he runs over Maddox. Running headbutt by Clay puts Maddox down, then he puts him away with a running splash.
WINNER: Brodus Clay by pin in 2:00.
-Post-match, The Shield attacks Clay. They triple team powerbomb him and leave him out in the middle of the ring. Their attack on Sin Cara was a way to write him off TV to heal his knee, so maybe this is a way to write Brodus off TV and heal his character! The Shield goes back through the crowd while yelling that no one messes with them.
-A Kid Rock promo for Tribute to the Troops is shown.
-Another recap of Big E. Langston debuting on Raw last night is shown.
7 - JOHN CENA & SHEAMUS vs. BIG SHOW & DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/A.J. and Big E. Langston)
Cena and Ziggler start the match off, and Ziggler ducks a clothesline and struts. Big Show is tagged in. Cena tries attacking him before he can enter the ring, but Big Show shoves him off. Cena ducks a chop in the corner and drop kicks Big Show, Show answers back with a spear. Show tosses Cena into the heel corner and Ziggler cheap shots Cena behind the refs back. Big Show continues his assault on Cena and then tags in Ziggler. Dolph drops a series of elbows on Cena, the crowd counts nine elbows. Neckbreaker by Dolph into a rear chinlock. John fights to his feet and back body drops Ziggler. Big Show is tagged in and stops John from tagging out. Show whips Cena into the corner and crushes him with his weight.
Cena hot tags Sheamus, who knee-lifts Ziggler and then ties him in the ropes and clubbers him ten times. Sheamus knocks Show off the apron and tries to put Ziggler in the Texas Cloverleaf, but Dolph kicks him off to the floor. Big Show throws Sheamus into the barricade and rolls him back into the ring.
Big Show is tagged in and chops away on Sheamus. He then taunts Cena and goes back to beating on Sheamus. After a long beat down, Cena is tagged in, as is Dolph. Cena shoulder-tackles him and slams him. Five Knuckle Shuffle, then Cena tries the AA, but Big Show blocks it. Sheamus tackles Big Show out of the ring as Ziggler hits Cena with a Zig-Zag for a close two count! Dolph can’t believe he didn’t put him away as Cena sneaks up and gives Ziggler a Attitude Adjustment. Big E. runs in and mows over Cena and slams him with his finisher, causing the DQ.
WINNERS: John Cena and Big Show by DQ in 12:00.
-A.J. and Dolph make out while standing over John Cena. Langston stands over a laid-out Cena as Smackdown fades out two minutes before the top of the hour!
Thank you for reading, make sure to check out my reviews of Main Event each and every week, also follow me on Twitter @MJCupach where I tweet live during Raw and WWE PPVs. I am also a frequent guest on the FTWPodcast, go to FTWPodcast.com for more details!
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