WWE Smackdown Report PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 5/25: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Triple-Threat #1 Contender Match
May 25, 2012 - 9:00:58 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
May 25, 2012
Taped 5/22/12 in Wilkes Barre, Pa.
Aired on SYFY
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist (Twitter: @gregmparks)
- WWE Open.
- A video package on the John Cena vs. John Laurinaitis feud aired, including stills of their match at Over the Limit and comments by Cena from this week’s Raw. They also emphasized Big Show’s involvement in the match and on Monday night. The entire package ran almost four minutes long.
- Smackdown Open.
- After fireworks went off inside the arena, Josh Mathews intro’d the show. Michael Cole questioned whether or not Sheamus would apologize for running into John Laurinaitis in an attempt to save Cena from a heel beat-down Monday night. They even replayed the bump in slow-motion.
- Lilian Garcia introduced Eve Torres. Eve happily told the fans that John Laurinaitis is still GM of both Raw and Smackdown after beating Cena at Over the Limit. But, due to overseas business, Laurinaitis couldn’t attend Smackdown. She said Laurinaitis put her in charge, and she’ll be dealing with Sheamus. Eve assured fans that Sheamus would apologize for running over Laurinaitis on Monday. She also vowed to name the opponent of Sheamus for Over the Limit. Before she could continue, Alberto Del Rio’s music hit and he walked out. He threw his hat into the proverbial ring to be the opponent for Sheamus at No Way Out. Del Rio complimented Eve to suck up to her and asked her if she wants to make John Laurinaitis proud. And if she does, she’ll make him number one contender.
Eve told him he made a compelling case. As soon as she said there was no one more deserving, Randy Orton’s music played and he came to the ring. Orton introduced himself to Eve (since she’s new to the job and, ya know, hasn’t been in the company for years or anything). He wanted to get the fans involved in the decision process, and they made it clear they wanted to see Orton get that spot over Del Rio. “In the name of People Power, I think you have your answer.” But Kane’s pyro blasted off and he walked out.
Kane said neither of the men in the ring have the qualifications he does, so Sheamus should have to face him. Kane said tonight’s episode of Smackdown is number 666, in case Eve needed any more convincing. Eve then made a Triple-Threat match amongst the three tonight where the winner will face Sheamus at No Way Out.
- They showed Christian winning the People Power Battle Royal, then going on to defeat Cody Rhodes on Sunday for the Intercontinental Championship.
- Christian came out for a match. It’s next.
1 – CHRISTIAN vs. HUNICO
Match began right after the break. Hunico showed some fire, but fell victim to a back body-drop. A distraction by Camacho outside the ring led to Hunico shoving Chrisitan into the ring post. A dive put Christian down again. Back in the ring, a pin attempt by Hunico garnered him a two-count. Christian came back with a face-plant. Hunico caught a Christian second-rope dropkick and pulled out a jackknife cover for two. Second-rope flying elbow. Camacho dropkicked off the apron by Christian. That led to Hunico trying his finish, but Christian countered and h it the Killswitch. To the top he went, and a frog-splash got the pin.
WINNER: Christian, at 3:02. Good enhancement win for Christian, though the lack of an actual turn back to babyface is bothersome. How are fans supposed to relate or even understand his character if they don’t understand his motivations or if his actions from one show to the next don’t make sense?
Cody Rhodes came out after the match. He talked about spending time wiping the dirt off that title because it had been held by jokes like Santino Marella. He restored it to its former glory when it was held by the likes of Razor Ramon, Randy Savage, and Shawn Michaels. Rhodes said Christian threw it all away with his win – no one cares about the title because no one cares about Christian. Rhodes said when he gets his re-match, it’ll only take three seconds to return the title to glory. No verbal rebuttal from Christian. I liked that promo by Cody – I’ve liked his promos for a while now.
- The Triple-Threat #1 Contender match is still to come tonight.
2 – THE USOS vs. TITUS O’NEIL & DARREN YOUNG
They showed the two teams arguing backstage earlier in the day, with the Usos making fun of Young and O’Neil’s repeating sing-songs, and Young and O’Neil mocking The Usos’ tribal dance. Double headbutt to O’Neil from the Usos. Another quick double-team move followed. O’Neil fought out of the face corner and Young kicked Jey behind the ref’s back, leading to Young getting the tag and the heels doing some double-teaming of their own. Booker continued making fun of Cole’s physique, which began on the show last week (or thereabouts). Hot tag to Jimmy at about the 2:00 mark. Running butt splash in the corner on Young, but O’Neil broke up the pin. Jey and O’Neil brawled outside the ring. Jimmy connected on a superkick and went to the top. A distraction by O’Neil led to Young knocking Jimmy off the top rope. He heels hit their double-team finish for the pinfall.
WINNERS: O’Neil and Young, at 3:13. They fit a lot of action in that time-frame. I could barely keep up typing what was going on, and I did not expect that proclamation to come during an Usos vs. O’Neil & Young match.
- Sheamus will apparently apologize to John Laurinaitis tonight.
- But up next, Ryback.
- A vignette aired advertising Sin Cara’s return to action. It takes place next Friday on Smackdown.
3 – BRIAN EDWARDS & KEVIN BENDL vs. RYBACK
The jobbers got the mic and insulted Wilkes-Barre and Ryback, saying Ryback has never beaten two guys at once. Their promo was thankfully interrupted by Ryback’s music. Ryback was sporting a black eye, and he even got some pyro (once in the ring – so we didn’t see it). As the bell rang, Ryback picked one up and knocked him into the other. Hard spinebuster on Bendl, then a powerbomb. He clotheslined Edwards, folding him in half. Ryback got both men up for his finisher at the same time. He then pinned both.
WINNER: Ryback, at 1:28. I say he’s impressive every week, but this was a little something extra.
- Santino Marella and Ricardo Rodriguez were walking in a split screen. Rodriguez tripped over something for a cute sight gag. They’re going one-on-one next.
- Mathews implored fans to check out Santino’s official Facebook page.
4 – SANTINO MARELLA vs. RICARDO RODRIGUEZ
How did they not book this as a Tuxedo match? Rodriguez, who came out in his suit, introduced himself. Rodriguez did a drop-down then a leap-frog. They did a cris-cross but Santino stopped and just watched Ricardo. Afterward, Santino took Ricardo’s pulse and gave him an airplane spin. Santino laughed so hard he lost his balance and fell out of the ring. Marella climbed under the ring so Rodriguez, thinking he was smart, checked for him on the other side. But Santino came out the original side with his Cobra, and struck Rodriguez when Ricardo finally turned around.
WINNER: Marella, at 1:52. Well, the announcers thought it was hilarious.
- They showed clips from WWE Inbox on Youtube.
- Next, will Sheamus apologize for plowing over John Laurinaitis?
- The World Heavyweight Champion, Sheamus, came to the ring. “If I can be serious for a minute,” Sheamus began. He said he was sent out to apologize to Laurinaintis. He characterized what happened as an “accident.” Sheamus said people think he did it on purpose – and if that’s true, it was accidentally on purpose. He began to apologize, but then stopped. He ended up apologizing for Laurinaitis being a “massive arse.” He said Eve and David Otunga are so far up there, they could probably tell you what he had for breakfast. He called Big Show “a giant arse-kisser.” Then he turned his attention to his match at No Way Out, saying if it were up to him, he’d face Randy Orton. Vickie Guerrero interrupted before Sheamus could go any further. She said Eve informed her that Sheamus will have to fight right now. And he’ll have to fight Jack Swagger.
4 – SHEAMUS vs. JACK SWAGGER
The two men fought hard over a lock-up. Neither man got a clear advantage a minute into the match until Sheamus connected on a few hard right hands. He hit a diving shoulder tackle off the top rope on Swagger. Swagger tried to take a break but Sheamus ran him over. Vickie Guerrero got the attention of the ref, allowing Sheamus to be distracted and for Swagger to trip him up on the apron. Sheamus held his foot in pain on the outside as they went to break a little over 2:30 into the contest.
They returned at 5:59 with Swagger stomping on the injured appendage of Sheamus. Swagger got to show off his unique style and move-set in working over his opponent’s ankle. Sheamus worked his way to his feet and began his comeback at 8:25. Hard forearm shots to the chest of Swagger, and Sheamus had a glint of evil in his eye. He suplexed Swagger into the ring and made the cover, getting a two-count at 9:14. Brogue Kick missed and Swagger dove, taking out the leg. Vader Bomb for two at the 9:55 mark. Sheamus finally connected on the Brogue Kick for the win.
WINNER: Sheamus, at 10:34. Better match between these two than I expected.
- The Triple-Threat #1 Contender’s Match will be tonight’s main event.
- Also tonight, The Big Show speaks about his knockout punch of John Cena on Monday.
- Yoshi Tatsu was in the ring. They showed what happened last week when Damien Sandow felt that Tatsu was an unworthy opponent. Sandow came out and begged our indulgence once again. He explained the situation last week and why he didn’t want to fight Tatsu. The fans began to heckle him, so he asked them to remain silent while he spoke. Sandow said he was accosted verbally by Tatsu last week after he tried to leave ringside without incident. He said Tatsu didn’t grasp the concept of what he was trying to teach. So tonight, he’ll impart the lesson physically.
5 – YOSHI TATSU vs. DAMIEN SANDOW
Tatsu attacked as soon as the bell rang, but Sandow hid between the ropes, demanding the referee do his job. Sandow aggressively went after Tatsu with knees to the mid-section, then a side Russian leg-sweep. Neck-tie neck-breaker by Sandow for the win. He did a cartwheel in celebration after the match.
WINNER: Sandow, at :45. Good size and look for Sandow at least. Too early to tell much about his in-ring chops, except for what is known about him in FCW.
- They replayed the finish from Ryback’s squash earlier.
- The Big Show came out in a dress shirt, tie, and a nice pair of slacks. They keep pushing last Sunday as being “the darkest day in WWE history.” There was a stool and a microphone in the ring for Show. He seemed hesitant at first, but finally sat down. Show said unlike most people, he never knew what it was like to be fired until Laurinaitis gave him his walking papers two weeks ago. Show said it was his dream job, it wasn’t just a job like the fans all have. He said he was so despondent he could barely eat and breathe. He felt betrayed by his friends in the business, and by the fans. Not one of the fans or Superstars in the back, or even the technical crew, came to his defense. “You sold out” chant from the crowd. Show disagreed with the consensus the fans had reached.
Show said “at that very moment” he had no friends. I guess it was the moment he was fired? But all those people booed that decision! Show said when you’re drowning, you don’t care where the life-line comes from. “Cena” chant was next. He said if he helped Laurinaitis, he got a new contract and a big bonus. All Laurinaitis had to do, at some point, was to escape to the back – that set the plan in motion. He said he knocked Cena out with just one punch. And at No Way Out, he said he’d do it again. Show claimed the fans never really cared about him. “I damn sure don’t care about you,” he said. Show stood up, surveyed the scene, and had a look of disgust on his face. The announcers reacted to what Show said as Show left the ring. Kane’s pyro went off and he walked out as Show was headed up the ramp. Remember when feuds used to start this way? The two passed each other and kept looking over their shoulder at each other. As Kane stood in the ring about to blast the pyro from the ring post, Daniel Bryan came out of nowhere and assaulted Kane over and over again with a chair. Referees finally came out to restrain Bryan after he hit Kane with about a dozen chair shots. Cole wondered if Kane would actually be in the match.
- Another “Sin Cara returns” vignette.
- Kane was in the ring, crouched in the corner, holding his arm. They replayed Bryan’s attack on Kane from before the break.
6 – KANE vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. RANDY ORTON – TRIPLE-THREAT, #1 CONTENDER MATCH
Rodriguez was back out to handle the ring introduction for Del Rio, but God bless him, he was still selling the effects of the Cobra. Del Rio was the first to exit the ring, courtesy of Orton, 12 seconds in. Low dropkick by Kane on Orton. Cover got two. Del Rio came back to make sure neither Kane nor Orton were able to establish much momentum. Kane though ended up putting Del Rio and Orton to ringside. He attacked both men out there, but Orton turned the tables on both. He bounced Kane’s head off the announce table, then tried to go for his vintage DDT. Before he could, Del Rio leapt up on the apron and kicked Orton in the head. All there men convalesced as they went to break at 2:18.
Back at 5:15 with Kane hammering away on Del Rio in the corner. He was also having his way with Orton. Del Rio’s chance to shine was next, as he choked Orton in the corner. Orton though dropkicked Del Rio off the apron at 6:27. Sidewalk slam by Kane on Orton for two. Orton with a few rights to Del Rio, then a clothesline. Powerslam on Kane, then one for Del Rio. Kane was clotheslined over the top rope. Rope-assisted DDT by Orton on Del Rio. He set up for the RKO, but Orton was shoved off. Kane picked Orton’s ankle, pulled him out of the ring and threw him into the ring steps. Kane choked Del Rio over the top rope, but missed a clothesline off the top. Kane chokeslammed Del Rio, but Bryan again came out. This time he got on the apron with a chair. Their eyes met, neither sure what to do. Bryan left the apron and ran to the back as Kane tried to give chase. He didn’t’ get far though and went back into the ring. Bryan came back out again and again Kane saw him as he was about to get into the ring. That distraction allowed Orton to RKO Kane. Del Rio broke up the pin attempt and pinned Kane himself for the three-count.
WINNER: Del Rio, at 10:16.
The finish was replayed, then they showed Del Rio and Rodriguez celebrating atop the ramp. From behind though, Sheamus attacked. He laid Del Rio out with a shot to the back of the head. He promised to kick Del Rio’s head off at No Way Out. The show ended with Sheamus standing over Del Rio.
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Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to email@example.com.
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