WWE Smackdown Report PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 1/13: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show, no count-out, no-DQ, for the World Title
Jan 13, 2012 - 9:00:09 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
Jan. 13, 2012
Taped 1/10/12 in Laredo, Tex.
Aired on SYFY
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist
- WWE Open.
- The voice-over man narrated a video package previewing tonight’s Heavyweight Title re-match. Last week, Daniel Bryan retained his title by disqualification. This week, it’s no count-out and no disqualification when Big Show challenges Daniel Bryan for the World Championship.
- Smackdown Open.
- The show opened with fireworks and the camera panning the crowd. In-ring, Lilian Garcia introduced Daniel Bryan. He walked out, World Title around his waist. Crowd reaction was mixed. He did somewhat of an over-the-top celebration. Josh Mathews, Michael Cole, and Booker T. were shown on commentary. Booker talked about his match against Cody Rhodes last week. Bryan got the mic and was greeted by quite a few boos. Bryan said that winning the World Title is a dream come true, and defending the title is what he lives for. Hard to tell if the boos are genuine or not. A few “you suck” chants. Bryan said Big Show deserved his rematch last week, especially considering how briefly he held the World Title. He said after his win last week, many champions would’ve moved on, but not him. He didn’t want his first World Title defense to end that way. He said he’ll have to tell his future grandchildren that his first match with Big Show ended in a DQ. No comments from Cole saying something to the effect of there being an unlikely possibility of Bryan reproducing.
Bryan acknowledged that some folks on message boards think he intentionally got himself DQ’d, but said that was a load of “dung” and called out “HeymanRules512” for apparently saying that in some nether region of the Internet. That was a funny little in-joke. Bryan announced his rematch with Big Show tonight and talked about it being no count-out and no-DQ, which he said was excessive. Bryan said all the problems stem from one man: Mark Henry. He said Henry should be suspended, but before he could step any deeper into it, Henry’s music played and he walked to the ring.
Cole said Bryan may have goaded Henry into hitting him last week. Henry asked Bryan if he heard him right about being suspended. Henry said if he had gotten suspended, he would’ve gotten his money’s worth. Henry said he talked to Teddy Long and he’s going to be banned from ringside tonight. Bryan said that was good, since the match has nothing to do with him. Henry said that wasn’t in fact the case and called Bryan “Tiny Tim.” He said Long promised him that if he didn’t interfere, and because he didn’t get a championship rematch, he’ll get it next week. Bryan tried to understand how if he beats Show for the third time tonight, he’d have to face Henry next week. He seemed to reluctantly say it was alright with him. Henry’s music then played, almost stepping on Bryan’s last word or two. The announcers seemed to completely write off Bryan as far as his chances for retaining his title tonight.
- Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal will take place tonight.
1 – JUSTIN GABRIEL vs. HEATH SLATER
They showed Hornswoggle beating Slater in an over-the-top challenge last week, and Gabriel making the save when Slater tried to attack Horny. This was shown during Slater’s entrance. The announcers talked about these guys being former tag champs and members of Nexus. Slater with a kick to the face, then a clothesline. Headscissors take-over by Gabriel, followed by an arm-drag. Back-and-forth action early on, with Slater hitting a neck-breaker for a near-fall at 1:26. Jumping back kick by Gabriel, but Slater met him with a spinebuster for another two-count. As Slater went to the top rope, Hornswoggle’s music played. He came from under the ring and distracted Slater. Gabriel kicked Slater off the top rope and hit the 450 splash for the win.
WINNER: Gabriel, at 2:48. Either man could’ve used the win, so no complaints here (other than the obvious with Hornswoggle’s involvement).
Hornswoggle celebrated with Gabriel after the match. He stepped on Slater’s chest for good measure.
- Bryan was doing squats backstage when A.J. came upon him. They hugged and A.J. talked about how proud she was of Bryan. She said that no matter what happens in his match tonight…she loves him. She let him continue prepping for his match and walked away. “Thanks, A.J.,” he said, to no one in particular.
- A Royal Rumble 1998 video package was shown, with Rock and Steve Austin going toe-to-toe as the final two.
- Cody Rhodes came out with a mic. “Hola!” he said. He took some shots at the fans in Laredo, then said he wanted to remind fans that he’s been Intercontinental Champion for five months. That’s practically an eternity these days. He held up a hand to symbolize five months and even let a few fans high-five him. Rhodes said his reign has broken those of people like Pedro Morales, Tito Santana, Booker T, and Goldust. But in 2012, he’s going to pull an Ultimate Warrior. That could mean many things, and Cody even said that right as I was typing it. In this case, he said it meant he’d be the Intercontinental Champion and World Champion at the same time. Cody shouted “Arriba!” several times to end his speech.
2 – CODY RHODES vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON
Jackson tried to suplex Rhodes into the ring after he ended up on the apron, but Rhodes landed on his feet (sort-of) and DDT’d Jackson for two. Cole made fun of Booker for much of this match on commentary. Jackson fired back with some power moves and whipped Rhodes hard into the corners. Body shots by Jackson followed, and Mathews added a layer to the story of this match by saying Rhodes beat Jackson for the IC Title five months ago. Jackson countered the Beautiful Disaster kick, but Rhodes sent Jackson into the buckle with a drop toe-hold. Beautiful Disaster kick connected, then Cross Rhodes for the win.
WINNER: Rhodes, at 2:16. Not much to say here other than a solid win for Rhodes after a so-so promo.
- Tonight, Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan for the World Title in a no count-out, no-DQ match.
- The announcers talked about the Royal Rumble being on the Road to Wrestlemania. They talked about the Hall-of-Fame ceremony as well and sent it to a video package of the first H.O.F. inductee, announced on Monday night: Edge.
- In Teddy Long’s office, Santino Marella pitched some Santino Original match ideas to Long. One was a giant cage, inside that a medium cage, and inside that, a smaller cage, with the ref being the Cagesmith who created the match. Marella’s other idea was to overturn Jack Tunney’s ruling of no reptiles at ringside. David Otunga walked in to interrupt this skull session. Otunga was there on behalf of Johnny Ace and wanted to talk to Long about who should be in the Rumble match from the Smackdown side. Otunga had a list prepared with all the Superstars and their pros and cons. Long seemed offended by that, so Santino suggested he fight Otunga tonight. Long finally okay'ed one of Santino’s ideas, then shooed both men out of his office.
Someone knocked on the door and Long assumed it was Aksana. He told her to come in and it was Drew McIntyre. Long didn’t want to hear what McIntyre had to say, telling him he’s not getting any results for the money he’s paying. He told McIntyre he better win his match tonight – and it’s next. Before McIntyre could protest, Long reiterated that it’s next.
- Next Friday: It’s Sin City Smackdown from Las Vegas.
3 – DREW MCINTYRE vs. TED DIBIASE
Before the match could start, Hunico and Camacho wheeled out on their bike. DiBiase was distracted and McIntyre gave him a big boot, getting a two-count just 0:07 into the match. DiBiase was then sent to ringside while Hunico and Camacho joined the announce team. Suicide dive by DiBiase. The two brawled outside the ring, but McIntyre got the advantage back in the ring. Hunico sounded out of breath for some reason. DiBiase got a boot up on a corner charge and connected on a flying knee then a clothesline for two. Right hand by McIntyre caught DiBiase coming off the second rope. Only a two count on the pin. Camacho said Hunico saved his life in the barrio, which is how they know each other. McIntyre and DiBiase fought on the top rope, with McIntyre ending up getting crotched on the ropes. DiBiase took advantage of his dazed opponent and hit Dream Street for the win.
WINNER: DiBiase, at 3:46. With the heels at ringside, I thought McIntyre would get his win here.
- Next: Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal. I should’ve led with that match in my headline! Think of the hits I’d be getting for this report!
- Cole thanked Switchfoot for “Dark Horses,” the official Royal Rumble theme.
4 – SHEAMUS vs. JINDER MAHAL
During Sheamus’s entrance, they showed clips of the segment from last week, where Mahal put the Camel Clutch on Sheamus. So, are they just ignoring Mahal getting squashed by Sheamus and Santino on Raw? Mahal did mic work on the way to the ring, saying he’s most dangerous when he’s the least expected. Sheamus went after Mahal with shots to the torso, but before he could hit the High Cross, Mahal fled to ringside. Sheamus went after him and took Mahal down with a shoulder-block. Back in the ring, Mahal brought Sheamus down throat-first over the top rope. Running knee by Mahal took Sheamus down. Cole somehow tried to argue that it was near “impossible” to win the Royal Rumble by coming in at number 30. He didn’t bother to explain that fact, and no one called him on it. Sheamus fought out of a Mahal rest-hold and went to the top, connecting on a shoulder-tackle. Brogue Kick right to the face. That ended it.
WINNER: Sheamus, at 3:56. Not a surprising result by any stretch, but at least Mahal gets experience with a top guy.
- Big Show was backstage with referee Jack Doan. Doan wanted to go over the rules of the title match, but Show assured him he knew the rules. He said he’d been in tons of matches like this. A.J. walked up to Show and Doan left. A.J. all but asked Show to take it easy on Bryan. Show said he doesn’t want to hurt Bryan, but just wants his title. Bryan walked up and said first Show wants to take his title and now he wants to take his girl. Bryan said he’s not taking either and asked Show to leave. Show chuckled and told Bryan the title has changed him. He was going to call Bryan a name, but said after tonight, Bryan won’t have that problem because he’ll take it off his hands. Show walked away and Bryan asked A.J. if she was okay. He said he’s A.J.’s knight in shining armor. Bryan reminded A.J. of what she said earlier and asked her how much she loves him. Before she could answer, Bryan insisted they go somewhere to talk.
- Royal Rumble 2002 was the next Rumble profiled, with Triple H and Kurt Angle as the final two and Triple H winning.
5 – DAVID OTUNGA vs. SANTINO MARELLA
Double-leg take-down by Marella on Otunga as the match began. Roll-up by Marella for two. Otunga stomped away on Santino, then hit an elbowdrop. Rear chin-lock applied by Otunga. Missed charge by Otunga led to Marella going back on offense. Marella pulled out the Cobra after a diving headbutt. Otunga blocked the shot and gave Santino his finisher for the win.
WINNER: Otunga, at 2:00. Now THAT was a surprising result. I had no idea what Otunga’s finisher was before this match because I can’t remember the last time he won a singles match.
- More Rumble and WM talk from the announcers, then the second H.O.F. inductee: The Four Horsemen.
- Up next: Funkasaurus in Da House! Brodus Clay makes his Smackdown debut (return, actually, but who’s counting?).
- The Raw Rebound aired, focusing on the Kane-John Cena/Zack Ryder stuff. The announcers said Ryder suffered no structural damage after the attack by Kane on Monday night.
- Lilian Garcia gave Brodus Clay the same introduction Justin Roberts gave him on Monday night.
6 – “FUNKASAURUS” BRODUS CLAY vs. TYSON KIDD
Yes, Clay’s theme is now available on iTunes. Clay charged at Kidd with a running headbutt to take Kidd down. His next move was a diving cross-body, a blink-and-you-missed-it match.
WINNER: Clay, at 0:13. The most disappointing part? No Clay trash talk during the match.
- Long was backstage dancing to Clay’s theme as Aksana walked in. Aksana talked about Smackdown being in Vegas next week and said she wanted to play the Roulette table because she “likes to hit on black.” Long spit out his drink after hearing that line. Is this Aksana thing going to go anywhere? I don’t mind a slow burn for a storyline, but this one hasn’t even advanced since Aksana debuted.
- The tale of the tape between Big Show and Daniel Bryan was shown.
7 – NATALYA vs. TAMINA
No entrance again for Natalya. Slap to the face by Nattie, then a standing suplex by Natalya. The announcers once again emphasized the women’s famous fathers. Samoan Drop by Tamina, who then headed to the top rope. Superfly splash finished it for the second week in a row.
WINNER: Tamina, at 0:57. I understand WWE’s reason for shortening most Divas matches, but when you have at least one worker in the match in Nattie who could carry things, I wonder why they don’t bother to go at least a minute.
- As Tamina left the ring, Wade Barrett’s music played. Barrett came onto the stage to address Sheamus’s win earlier in the evening, saying it did not impress him. He talked of Sheamus’ temper, whereas he’s calm and collected. He said he’d win the 2012 Royal Rumble, then challenged Sheamus to a one-on-one match-up at the Sin City Smackdown next week, ironic because most fans will consider what he’ll do to Sheamus a sin. He thanked the fans for their time and ended by saying “God save the Queen.”
- Bryan vs. Show is next.
- The announcers discussed matches for next week’s Sin City Smackdown: Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett, and Mark Henry vs. the World Champion, either Daniel Bryan or Big Show.
8 – THE BIG SHOW vs. DANIEL BRYAN - NO COUNT-OUT, NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
After Bryan got to the ring, A.J. walked to ringside. Garcia handled formal ring introductions. Booker said the World Title has changed Bryan, while Cole said he doesn’t think Bryan has changed all that much. Show turned a handshake into a press slam. Hard slap to the chest of Bryan, then a beal out of the corner. Bryan went off the top rope, but Show speared Bryan in mid-air. Show went for a cover, but Bryan was underneath the ropes. Bryan rolled to ringside as they went to break at 1:54.
Back at 4:49 of the match, with Show taking the beating to Bryan in front of the announce table. Bryan grabbed a chair and whacked Show several times with it. Cole reminded viewers than pinfall or submission has to take place inside the ring. Show grabbed the chair and Bryan’s eyes became wide as he saw Show wielding the weapon. He slowly entered the ring with it, but before he could, Bryan dropkicked him off the apron and back to ringside. Bryan grabbed the chair and continued to hit Show with it until Show kicked him. Back in the ring, Bryan kicked at Show’s chest but Show chopped Bryan in his already-red chest. Dropkick to the leg by Bryan took Show to the mat. Cover got only one. More chairshots from Bryan, then a DDT on the chair. Cole said it was that move that helped Bryan win the title in the first place. Booker said it was a bigger man who performed the move before, though. I don’t recognize these announcers, making such cogent points!
Show went for a chokeslam, but Bryan slipped out and grabbed a chair. Show punched through it so Bryan went again to ringside. Show knocked him down and began undressing the announce table. Show wanted a chokeslam through the table but Bryan kicked out and hit Show in the back with more chairshots. Bryan tried to jump from the apron onto Show, but Show slapped him in the chest once again. Bryan tried to run and Show chased after him. Bryan snuck behind A.J. when running and Show couldn’t stop, running her right over. Trainers and the referee checked on A.J. as the match came to a standstill. Show held his head, upset over what he had done. He bent over to check on her as Bryan talked with the trainer. Show was nearly in tears. They brought a stretcher out for her and put her in a neckbrace. “She’s okay” chant as they loaded her onto the stretcher. Well, that takes you out of the moment. As the two wrestlers walked up the ramp behind the stretcher as Bryan gave Show a tongue-lashing about being reckless and saying if he really wants the title that bad, he can have it. Bryan was good in his role. Before they headed backstage, Bryan called Show a bastard. Instead of going backstage, Show let his emotions flow on the stage as the show closed.
WINNER: No Contest (no bell), about 13:18 (timed until the end of the show since the match was never officially stopped).
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Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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