WWE Smackdown Report PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 11/29: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the live Tuesday night special, including Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry for the World Title in a Steel Cage
Nov 29, 2011 - 9:00:41 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
Nov. 29, 2011
Live in Charlotte, N.C.
Aired on SYFY
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist
- WWE Open.
- The show began with footage of the Charlotte skyline with snowflakes digitally added.
- Inside the arena, Tony Chimel introduced “Jolly ol’ Saint Mick,” Mick Foley, dressed as Santa Claus. He came to the ring and got a mic. Foley said that while there’s still some time before Christmas, he is truly a Christmas fanatic. He talked about his affinity for Santa’s Village and said what JR is to BBQ sauce and The Ultimate Warrior is to colorful arm tassels, he is to Christmas. A vintage Foley cheap pop awoke the crowd and they started a “Foley” chant. Mick delved into his bag of goodies and plugged the World Title match tonight featuring Tiny Tim aka Daniel Bryan taking on the Ghost of Christmas Fear, Mark Henry. Foley reminded fans the contest will take place inside a steel cage. We then got the visual of the cage hanging above the ring.
But that’s not it – A Miracle on 34th Street fight, an “All I Want For Christmas” over-the-top-rope battle royal where someone will get their wish granted by Santa. He said on Raw, he promised no Michael Cole, but Cole has a good legal team and is bound by contract to be here. Foley said Cole’s contract does NOT dictate how Cole will be dressed. He introduced Cole, who came out to boos and dressed as Rudolf. He had a cartoonish pouting look on his face. But at least he still wore a tie over the suit – that’s a professional right there. Cole approached the announce desk and joined Josh Mathews (no Booker T), who was dressed as an elf. Foley pointed out the getup Mathews was forced to wear, then introduced Booker. Booker was also dressed as Santa. Great, more focus on the announcers. Just what we need!
Booker got into the ring with Foley and said they don’t want to leave any part of the WWE Universe out, so he asked Booker to make like a dradle and do a spinarooni. Foley said he was trying to make up for This is Your Life a few weeks ago. They hit the music, and it was not what Booker was looking for. Foley sang “Dradle, dradle, dradle” as Booker did his spinarooni. He complained about the heat inside the outfit, but then Cody Rhodes’ music hit and he walked out. Rhodes said he may have, in the past, allowed this farce to go on, but without his mask, he’s seeing things more clearly. Rhodes said he’s seeing a lowly announcer making a fool of him in that ring. He said Booker is taking time away from those who still have the skills to compete. Booker said he can still handle himself in the ring.
Rhodes objected to Booker calling him “son,” and called him “announcer,” saying he lies. He said despite what Booker says, he does have a beef with Rhodes. Rhodes said Booker will never be champion again. Foley butted in and stood up for Booker. He said Rhodes is directly affecting his enjoyment of the holidays, so he put Rhodes in a match with Booker T for tonight. Booker said he was cool with it. Foley said he had a party to get to backstage, but first, he introduced a special Divas match. Alicia Fox, AJ, Kaitlyn, The Bellas, Natalya, Aksana, and Tamina all came out as they went to break. That was a lot of fluff to get to Booker vs. Rhodes.
- Mick Foley announced this to be a special mistletoe match. The winner is the one to climb the pole on the ring post to capture the mistletoe, and she will be granted a special wish, and Foley not-so-subtley hinted that the winner would get a Divas Title match.
1 – DIVAS MISTLETOE MATCH
After some brief, nondescript action, Alicia Fox was brought down after trying to reach the mistletoe. Soon after, one of the Bellas turned on the other, climbed the on the other’s back, and took down the mistletoe.
WINNER: Brie Bella, at :53. I would not have guessed that result.
Brie made the title-around-her-waist signal. Foley said what the winner really gets is not a title shot, but that Brie can kiss a Superstar of her choice between now and Christmas. Well, that was stupid.
- They showed slow-mo footage of Big Show attacking Mark Henry after their Survivor Series match.
- Tonight, Daniel Bryan challenges Mark Henry for the World Championship inside a steel cage.
2 – JUSTIN GABRIEL vs. JINDER MAHAL
Gabriel was already in the ring. Mahal did mic work on the way to the ring, decrying Christmas, saying people buy gifts with money they don’t have for people they can’t stand. I feel like I just heard a similar quote to that…maybe on the Colbert Report last night? By the way, it was just Mathews and Cole on commentary with Booker’s match later tonight. Mahal with a knee-lift to Gabriel, then a double under-hook suplex. Mahal draped Gabriel gut-first over the top rope. Cole and Mathews argued about whether Ted DiBiase has money anymore. Mahal whipped Gabriel into the turnbuckle, then DiBiase’s music hit. He came out wearing a Santa hat and a bag full of gifts that he handed out at ringside. Mahal knocked away a gift DiBiase tossed to him in a funny spot. STO by Gabriel on Mahal after the distraction. He went to the top and landed the 450 splash for the win.
WINNER: Gabriel, at 2:12. Good to see an actual lower card feud between DiBiase and Mahal.
- Backstage at the holiday party, The Usos taught Mick Foley their tribal dance. Roddy Piper walked up and told Foley he wants a new straightjacket for Christmas. Foley hob-nobbed with Hornswoggle and Maxine before Dusty Rhodes offered Horny a picture of Lady Gaga eating corn-beefed cabbage. Dusty said there were some weird people here before he turned around into Goldust, wearing a terrible Christmas sweater. He took a deep breath and did his thing. More with Foley and the Usos. Piper was telling Trent Barreta how to trick someone into putting something in their drink. David Otunga walked up and said that was against the WWE rulebook. He wanted to make sure the music was all cleared in the public domain. Then he reconsidered and decided to shut the whole thing down. Foley walked up and said since Otunga is on Smackdown, he can put him in a match – the Miracle on 34th Street match…against Randy Orton.
- The latest Kane vignette aired.
- More shots of downtown Charlotte with the fake snow.
- Footage was shown of Cody Rhodes splashing water in the face of Booker T from Raw two weeks ago.
- Cole and Mathews reacted to that clip on camera, with Cole ranting and raving about how it’s so good to see announcers get their comeuppance. They went to the WWE ’12 video game of Booker vs. Cody highlights.
- Matt Striker (with elf hat) interviewed Booker backstage. Booker said he doesn’t know what Cody’s problem with him is, but said tonight it would end. Well, he didn’t get to finish the sentence, as he was attacked from behind by Rhodes, who used the Intercontinental Title as a weapon. Referee Mike Chioda tended to Booker as Rhodes left the scene.
- Mathews plugged SyFy’s “Sanctuary,” which follows Smackdown tonight, as they showed a Christmas tree that was set up on the top of the stage.
3 – KOFI KINGSTON vs. TYSON KIDD
Cole said Booker was being tended to by medical personnel backstage and that the match against Rhodes would not happen tonight. Good…that should be a match they build ahead of time. Low dropkick by Kidd for a near-fall. Hard back elbow caught Kingston coming off the ropes for a two-count. Cole mentioned that he was trending on Twitter. Both men were down at the 1:30 mark, and Kofi made a comeback when they got to their feet. Boom drop found the mark on Kidd’s midsection. Kidd rolled out of the ring when Kofi tried Trouble in Paradise. Dropkick by Kingston on the outside of the ring. Kofi took time to make fun of how Cole looks in his outfit. He talked about how ridiculous Cole looked and stole the headpiece, which allowed Kidd to attack him from behind. Kofi recovered and put Kidd back in the ring. He put on the Rudolf headgear and the red nose, then hit the flying cross-body off the top for the win.
WINNER: Kingston, at 3:33. Weird to have Kofi go after Cole like that, but it was a means to the end of getting the visual of him wearing the Rudolf garb while flying through the air. It wasn’t worth it.
- Back at the party, Kaitlyn told Hornswoggle to ask Santa to make him a little bit taller so he could put some ornaments on the tree. Sheamus asked Teddy Long what the Battle Royal is all about tonight, but Long passed the buck to Foley. The room changed color and the sax played, which means only one thing: Aksana walked in and apologized for being late. Sheamus walked off and Aksana said back in her land, they didn’t have such a big Christmas party; they just got new shovels each year. Nice call-back there. She asked what you do with mistletoe and Long told her to do what’s natural. So of course, she ate some of it. The camera caught Kaitlyn talking to Curt Hawkins and Gabriel chatting it up with Alicia Fox. This isn’t a real holiday party until Cole pukes.
- Randy Orton was shown walking backstage. His Miracle on 34th Street Match against David Otunga is next.
- Another shot of the Charlotte skyline with snow and Cole continued to make fun of Mathews for Mathews jokingly thinking it was real.
4 – RANDY ORTON vs. DAVID OTUNGA – MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET FIGHT
Cole said Otunga is wrestling this match under protest. There were a few Christmas decorations around ringside, as it’s street fight rules. Otunga was clotheslined to ringside early on. Otunga kicked Orton in the gut, but Orton came back with offense of his own. Otunga certainly looks the part, I’ll give him that. Otunga was thrown into a smallish Christmas tree at ringside. Oh, and there goes another. Cole said Orton was acting like a Grinch. Otunga fired back by driving Orton’s back into the apron. Orton regained control and sent Otunga head-first into the announce table. There was a tray of cookies there and Orton took a bite of one, then hit Otunga in the back with the cookie sheet. He put a wreath around Otunga’s neck, shouted “ho ho ho,” and sent him into another tree. Otunga was to be whipped again, but he countered and sent Orton into the stairs. Suplex at ringside. Before Otunga could use another weapon, Orton got a single-leg take-down and pounded away. Otunga ran up the ramp and from behind, Orton tossed a large gift at him, comically hitting Otunga right in the back of the head. Orton tossed Otunga into more decorations and trees on the top of the stage. Orton dragged Otunga back to the ring. He put Otunga’s feet on the apron and DDT’d him onto the ringside mats. Wade Barrett ran out and bounced Orton’s head off the ring post, then booted him in the face. Otunga was rolled into the ring to pin a fallen Orton, but he only got two. Otunga booted Orton in the corner Orton came back just after 7:00 in and hit all of his signature spots. He got down for the RKO, which hit the mark.
WINNER: Orton, at 7:36. Lots of bells and whistles to hide Otunga’s shortcomings and to continue the holiday theme of the show.
- Mark Henry was backstage when Teddy Long walked up. Long asked about Henry’s Christmas spirit, which drew the ire of Henry, saying Long is the reason he’s in this mess. He said he’ll take care of Big Show at TLC. He said he is in a giving move…as in giving Daniel Bryan the worst beating of his life. Henry shouted for Long to get out of his face.
- They aired a clip of Show knocking Henry out last week and Daniel Bryan trying to cash in his MITB. They face each other for the World Title tonight.
5 – ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS BATTLE ROYAL
Many Superstars were already in the ring. Hunico got his own entrance, as did Sheamus and Hornswoggle. This reminds me of the battle royals you’d see on WWE Superstars back in the day, full of mid carders and lower card talent. Horny went under the ring to start. Darren Young was tossed nine seconds in, by Sheamus. One of the Usos was out at :24, also by Sheamus. Percy Watson and Curt Hawkins went at it. Hunico crotched JTG on the top rope and eliminated him at :51. Ted DiBiase was stomping on Tyler Reks. Sheamus was trying to toss NXT leader Titus O’Neil. Hawkins out via a Zeke Jackson press slam at 1:49. Jackson and Sheamus clobbered each other in the middle of the ring. Jackson charged Sheamus, but was back-dropped out at 2:31. Johnny Curtis jumped Sheamus, but was tossed at 2:42. Kingston took the other Uso out at 2:56. Kingston was then eliminated himself at 2:59. Yoshi Tatsu was clotheslined out at 3:12 by Tyson Kidd. Kidd headscisssored DiBiase out at 3:24. Hornswoggle grabbed Kidd and pulled him off the ropes to eliminate him at 3:31. They went to break at this point.
Back at 6:48. It was down to seven superstars. Gabriel was teetering on the edge thanks to Mahal, who pushed him out at 7:12 when he tried to springboard back in. Sheamus is clearly the ringer here. Clash of the Titus by O’Neil on Reks. He celebrated, but was clotheslined out by Sheamus at 7:48. Sheamus fought off Slater, Mahal, and Hunico. Reks went after Sheamus, which was a mistake. Reks crawled under the bottom rope, but Sheamus went after him. The other heels ganged up on Sheamus outside the ring. They all worked together to take down the big man, throwing him into the barricade. The four went back inside the ring as Mahal tried to direct traffic. They all went under the ring to get Hornswoggle. Mahal put him in the ring as the heels surrounded him. Slater shoved him to the mat, and Hunico did the same. They kicked away at him and Cole made the point that they have to wear him down before they try to eliminate him. Reks and Mahal tried to toss him like a sack of potatoes, but Sheamus ran in to make the save. Reks out at 10:50, Hunico at 10:54, Mahal at 10:58. Slater was Brogue Kicked out at 11:07, leaving just Sheamus and Horny. Hornswoggle wanted him some of Sheamus, but Sheamus pointed to him and told him to get out. Hornswoggle pointed to Sheamus and told him to get out. Sheamus laughed and Hornswoggle kicked Sheamus in the shins. Sheamus picked Hornswoggle up and tried to slam him out, but Horny held on to the top rope and Sheamus couldn’t shake him off. Sheamus went to the apron to try to untangle Hornswoggle. He did, and ordered Hornswoggle out. Horny made a sad face as Sheamus tried to talk sense into him. Hornswoggle wanted a hug, but as Sheamus went in, Horny shoved him to ringside to win.
WINNER: Hornswoggle, at 13:34. Certainly a unique battle royal. I thought Sheamus would voluntarily leave and let Hornswoggle win – it was odd having Sheamus, the babyface, and Hornswoggle, the babyface, argue about who should win.
Sheamus did take the loss in stride and put Horny on his shoulders to celebrate. Hornswoggle gets his wish granted…at some point, I guess.
- A video clip aired of SyFy’s mini-series, “Neverland.”
- They aired snippets of last week’s Fatal Four-Way match that Daniel Bryan won to challenge for the title tonight.
- Backstage at the parties, the Bellas were talking with Ricardo Rodriguez about what to get Alberto Del Rio for Christmas. Piper was talking to Dusty Rhodes about John Cena and the crowd getting to him. Santa Foley walked up and greeted them, then sat down to talk to Hornswoggle. He tried to translate Hornswoggle’s gruntings, but Sheamus said Horny just wants the ability to talk. Santa told Horny to tap his heels together three times, but then said that was from a movie. Instead, he just needed the magic of a hug from Santa. Hornswoggle thanked Santa after the hug and was able to talk, then went around pointing out things at the party, including “Grandma,” which was Vickie Guerrero. He even traded “excuse me’s” with her. Foley walked up to Dusty and Piper with a “Wanted, Dead or Alive” t-shirt and asked how Horny learned to talk. The camera panned to the chair and it was empty. Hmmm. “What’d I miss?” asked Foley.
- Daniel Bryan was training backstage. AJ came up to wish him luck and gave him a kiss. After she left, Striker came up and Bryan said last week he held the title, albeit briefly, but it was the greatest feeling in the world. Bryan said he knows Henry isn’t 100% and said sooner or later, everyone taps. He said tonight, his dream becomes a reality. Striker wished him luck.
- More footage of “snow” in Charlotte.
6 – DANIEL BRYAN vs. MARK HENRY – STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Formal ring introductions were handled by Chimel for this match. Cole relayed the message from Long that the winner of this match will defend against Big Show at TLC. Bryan tried to escape the cage early on, but Henry was able to bring him down. Bryan kicked at Henry’s legs, but Henry tossed him away. Henry sent Bryan into the side of the cage, then Henry squashed him against it. They went to break at 1:12 of the match.
The show returned at 4:13. Henry was still in control. Henry shouted at Bryan that he had all day. Well, the show only has eight minutes. Nerve hold applied by Henry in the middle of the ring. Big knockdown by Henry. “Happy new year!” shouted Henry. He demanded the cage door be opened at 5:28. Bryan attacked Henry to prevent the win. Clothesline by Henry turned Bryan inside out. Henry knelt down and laid across Bryan for the cover, getting only two. Henry again asked that the door be opened, but Bryan grabbed Henry’s bad ankle. Bryan stomped the bandaged ankle over and over again. He worked over the leg on the ropes. Bryan tried to climb to the top of the cage, but Henry tripped him, crotching Bryan. Henry got a head of steam and clotheslined Bryan to the mat. A light “Daniel Bryan” chant. Henry couldn’t reach the cage door, but he stayed on offense and on a vertical base. Cole claimed that he felt sorry for Mark Henry. Henry limped around the ring and tried to slam Bryan but Bryan kicked the ankle again. He tried the LeBell Lock and hooked it. Henry rolled, breaking the hold. He tried to pick Bryan up by one arm, but Bryan locked in the ankle-lock, dragging Henry to the middle of the ring. Crowd really behind Bryan here, but Henry rolled through and kicked Bryan off. Bryan tried to climb out of the cage, but once again couldn’t. Henry took some people by surprise by scaling the cage, but Bryan hopped over him and got to the top. Henry pulled him back in by the arm. Bryan tried to hurricanrana Henry off the top rope, but couldn’t. He flipped himself back up and to the top of the cage again. Henry held onto the arm and headbutted Henry. Off the second rope, World’s Strongest Slam. Henry’s knees hit way before Bryan to the point that it looked like it could’ve seriously hurt Henry. Henry picked up the pinfall win.
WINNER: Henry, at 11:09.
Henry celebrated with the title after a few replays aired of the finish. They went off the air with Henry holding the title, selling the effects of the match.
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Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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