WWE Smackdown alt. perspective report
September 23, 2011
Taped in Dayton, Ohio
Report by Mike Cupach, PWTorch contributor

[Q1]

-Smackdown opens sans normal WWE intro.

-Josh Mathews opens the show welcoming everyone to Smackdown. He says that all the Smackdown Superstars are out for a state of the union address from John Laurinaitis.

John is in the middle of the ring with the wrestlers surrounding him on the floor. He says that Triple H has lost total control of WWE and, as a result, WWE has lost two of their top stars – The Miz and R-Truth. He then does an about-face and says that he believes that Hunter has control of the situation. John says that when he looked into Hunter's eyes on Monday, he saw his resolve, and when Triple H gets to Smackdown, everyone else will see it too.

John then introduces the new World Heavyweight champion, Mark Henry. As he makes his way to the ring, the Superstars part like the Red Sea, letting him get into the ring. Cole glosses over what Henry did to Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler on Raw, incapacitating them.

Mark Henry is given a microphone from John and he starts off by saying that it took 15 years to win the title and it will take 15 more before someone takes it away from him. Mark then looks around and says that no man here has what it takes to take it from him. He then singles out Ezekiel Jackson and Teddy Long saying that they were not believers.

Triple H’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring and Henry does not look happy. Hunter asks for the microphone and Henry stares him down, daring him to do something. Henry finally obliges after some words from the COO and then Christian pops in the ring and says that he believes that Hunter is doing a great job as COO of WWE and that he thinks that he has done a good job taking care of talent. Christian then starts running down Mark Henry, saying that he doesn’t see Mark’s face on a billboard or reading to deaf kids. So Christian asks for another match against “You Know Who” after Hell in a Cell when Orton chokes. Hunter not one to fall for such ass-kissery, he tells Christian that he needs to lead by example, so he is going to let all the Superstars come out later and surround the ring in a lumberjack scenario as Christian takes on Mark Henry for the World Title, and the winner will face Orton in a Cell. Christian is not pleased with this announcement, even thought it was what he wanted.

-Backstage, Sheamus (who was too good to listen to Mr. Laurinaitis speak, apparently) is getting ready for a match, which will be next!

(Commercial)

1 -- SHEAMUS vs. HEATH SLATER

Josh and Michael Cole have a little sidebar pre-match about how dominant Sheamus was Monday on Raw and how he delivered a big Celtic Cross to David Otunga! Cole notes that this match is like Ronald McDonald vs. The Girl From Wendy's.

[Q2] Sheamus over powers Heath to start, Heath uses his speed to run around Sheamus and put him in a side headlock that Sheamus powers out of. Booker calls Sheamus the real deal because he won his two world titles in the middle of the ring like a man – no he didn’t. Sheamus ties Slater in the ropes and beats his chest, then running knees him in the head, Booker thinks that should call Sheamus the one man rock band! The ref breaks up the men in the corner and that gives Slater a chance to catch his breath. He then back-elbows Sheamus to take control back. Heath pounds away on Sheamus while locking him in a sleeper, and Booker says something, but I don’t have my closed caption on, so I couldn’t understand it. Sorry, folks. Big neckbreaker by Slater almost gets the upset and Slater makes the mistake of waiting on Sheamus to get to his feet and Sheamus takes him out with an Irish Hammer! Knee lift by Sheamus and he goes up top for Cole’s favorite move – shoulder block from the top rope, then one Brogue Kick later and this match is over!

WINNER: Sheamus by pinfall in 4:30

-Backstage, Khali was interrupted by Christian while doing some calisthenics. Christian tries hinting to Khali that when he gets his World Title match someday he won’t want to face a monster like Henry, he will want someone small and cagey like Christian. Khali looks at him blankly while Christian yells at him asking if he understands, if he will help him win. Khali responds that he understands, Christian smiles, then Great Khali says that he understands that Christian is small. He laughs nervously, then tells Khali that everyone is small compared to him, and that he will see him out there.

(Commercial)

-Cole throws to a reminder of last Friday's Smackdown where Justin Gabriel pinned Wade Barrett in a tag match. He says that he talked to Barrett earlier and that Wade says that Justin is just an ingrate.

2 - WADE BARRETT vs. JUSTIN GABRIEL

Barrett uses the hair of Gabriel to slam him to the mat to start the match. Wade ties Justin in the ropes and delivers some vicious knees to the mid-section then boots him in the face and sends him to the floor. Barrett tosses Gabriel back into the ring and tries a pin, but gets two.

[Q3] Leg scissor takedown sends Wade to the outside and Justin leaps out of the ring with a somersault splash out of the ring. Back in the ring, springboard moonsault by Gabriel gets a two count. Inverted side Russian legsweep by Gabriel and Justin goes to the top to try the 450 Splash, Barrett doesn’t even let him get to the turnbuckle as he boots Justin in the head, drags him in the ring and delivers Wasteland for the win, Booker thinks the ref can count to 100. I never heard that one before…

WINNER: Wade Barrett by pinfall in 2:30

-Still to come: Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes.

(Commercial)

-Matt Striker is with Randy Orton backstage and he asks Orton his thoughts on Christian facing Henry for the World Title. Except, Orton has no thoughts. Matt then switches gears and asks about his opponent at Hell in a Cell. Randy says that he is going to Hell and whomever he faces will be dragged down with him, but when he comes back, he will come back with the World Title!

-At ringside, Josh goes over Orton’s record in the Cell, then throws to a video package of highlights from previous cell matches. Jim Ross is heard saying that it is Satan Playground and that had me thinking that the Elimination Chamber has been called Satan’s Structure and Satan’s Summer Home, I’m thinking that the Government needs to step in because it sounds to me that WWE has the monopoly on how Satan spends his leisure time. Food for thought...

-Backstage, Christian is with Ezekiel Jackson and he is trying to talk him into helping him beat Mark Henry, instead he insults Jackson, and quickly backpedals.

-Christian vs. Mark Henry in a Lumberjack match for the World Title is still to come!

(Commercial)

[Q4]

3 -- A.J. & KAITLYN vs. DIVAS OF DOOM

Kaitlyn and Nattie start things off and it is noted that Kaitlyn is the winner of NXT Season 3, Cole notes what a great season that was in a sarcastic voice. Dropkick by Kaitlyn to start, Nattie ducks under Kaitlyn and chokes her on the middle rope, Beth then cheap shots her and gets tagged in. Double suplex on Kaitlyn gets a two count. Shots to the midsection by Kaitlyn gives her a chance to tag in the spunky, sparky, spitfire – A.J.! She is spunkerific for 15 seconds or so until she gets Glam-slammed by Beth Phoenix.

WINNERS: Phoenix & Natalya after Beth pinned A.J. in 2:00.

-Up next: Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

(Commercial)

-Commercial for the new WWE Network.

4 - RANDY ORTON vs. CODY RHODES

It looks like everyone in the front row put bags on their heads. Early brawling from both men around ringside to start. Orton rolls Cody into the ring and Cody clips the knee when Randy tries getting in. Cole notes that Cody did his homework because Henry worked Orton’s knee over last Sunday at Night of Champions. Cody continues to work his knee over by dropping knees and smashing the knee into the mat. Orton tries putting up some offense, but Cody kicks his leg out from under him to ground the Viper. Rhodes drags Randy over to the corner and wraps his knee around the ringpost. Rhodes tries taking the padding off the turnbuckle, but the ref stops him and starts putting it back on. Cody uses the distraction to take his head gear off and knocks Orton out with it, but it only gets a two count. The ref asks why the mask is off and Cody claims that Orton took it off; the ref tells him that he can’t take it off and use it as a weapon. Rhodes then picks up Orton and Orton grabs Cody’s leg and rips the mask off his head and cracks him with it, drawing the DQ.

WINNER: Cody Rhodes via DQ in 3:30.

[Q5] Post match: Orton continues his beat down of Cody, using the mask to beat him down, then he DDT’s him a few times and tosses Cody out of the ring. Randy Orton grabs the ring bell and hits Cody in the face with it and then RKOs a bloody Cody Rhodes on the announce table. Orton flips out, throwing chairs around, then slowly and methodically storms out.

-Backstage, Sheamus is straightening up the locker room and Christian stops by to offer Sheamus a potato as a peace offering. Sheamus says that Irish people love potatoes! Christian says that if he wins tonight, he will give Sheamus the first crack at his title. Sheamus says that he will be out there at ringside and that he will cherish the potato he gave him! Sheamus then takes a big bite of it and says that it isn’t an Irish potato; it is from Idaho!

-Commercial for Hell in a Cell now claims that Satan designed the Cell!

(Commercial)

-Michael Cole gives a sneak peak of Edge’s last appearance on Haven, which is tonight.

-The Great Khali is out to his old Punjabi Playboy music. Jinder Mahal is out next and his Titantron is full of images of him standing around wearing a suit. Anyway, last Friday Khali had all he could stand, because he can’t stand no more, and he laid out Mahal.

5 -- GREAT KHALI vs. JINDER MAHAL

Mahal tries working Khali’s leg to start, but Khali powers him into the corner and chops him hard and loud across the chest. Jinder takes a breather outside the ring, and then sneaks back in and DDT’s Khali! Front-facelock by Jinder on Khali one minute in, Khali gets to his feet and tosses Jinder off. Clotheslines by Khali followed by a Punjabi Plunge and Booker starts to say that you could count to 100 again, but he cuts himself off. Khali puts a foot on the chest of Jinder Mahal as the ref counts to three!

WINNER: Great Khali by pinfall in 1:30

[Q6] The Lumberjack match is still to come!

(Commercial)

-One of the Sin Caras gets booed during his entrance. The announcers can’t figure out what is going on, so they throw to a video package of a tale of two Sin Caras.

6 - SIN CARA vs. DANIEL BRYAN

Bryan and Sin Cara “touch gloves” to start and Bryan works a headlock to start which gets reversed into a head scissor by Cara and that gets turned into a surfboard by Daniel Bryan. His shoulders were down, so the ref counts and Bryan releases the hold. Bulldog attempt by Sin Cara gets countered into a suplex by Bryan. Bryan then goes to whip Sin Cara into the turnbuckle, Cara reverses, misses a charge, but ends up springboard cross-bodying Bryan for two!

Back handspring elbow by Sin Cara sends Daniel out of the ring and Cara follows him out to deliver a huracanrana that sends Bryan to the floor. Sin Cara rolls Bryan into the ring and the ref checks on Bryan. While he is checking on Bryan a second Sin Cara runs down and takes out Sin Cara #1. He then kicks Bryan in the head, goes up top, hits Bryan with a Swanton and picks up the win!

WINNER: Sin Cara by pinfall in 3:00.

-During the replay, the announcers feign not knowing what is going on and I start to wonder if WWE can make them sound even dumber!

-Backstage, Christian is looking for Orton, but runs into Zack Ryder. He tells him that he thought he was great on Raw with Hugh Jackman. Zack says he would love to do him a solid, but he just can’t tonight. His phone goes off, it is Jackman, and Zack blows off Christian.

(Commercial)

[Q7]

-Plug for WWE Magazine. I honestly didn’t know they still made those.

7 -- WWE tag champions AIR BOOM vs. THE USOS -- non-title match

I feel like I need to rate the entrances of each tag team here. Air Boom has potential, but their timing is way off. If they can sync up with the pyro, they’d be set. The Usos have a cool ritual, but the announcers need to say more about it to get it over. Evan and Jey start things out and Evan chops Jey. Jimmy gets a blind tag and Evan attempts a cross body block, but gets caught by both men. Jey gets tagged back in and he isolates Bourne in the Uso corner. Jey tags in Jimmy and he whips him ass first into Evan’s face. Jimmy works a headlock, but Evan kicks out of it and takes out Jey on the corner.

Hot tag to Kofi as Cole says “shucky ducky, quack quack.” If Cole checked the meaning of that at urbandictionary.com, he wouldn’t say that again! Kofi takes out everything in front of him, cleaning house and going up top on Jey Uso and connecting with a high cross body! Jimmy breaks up a Trouble in Paradise attempt and Jey superkicks Kofi for a long two count. Kofi counters a double team move and lays out Jimmy with Trouble in Paradise and tags in Bourne, who finishes the match with a Shooting Star Press!

WINNERS: Air Boom by pinfall in 3:30

-The World Title match is next!

(Commercial)

-Raw rebound featuring Hugh Jackman “breaking” Dolph Ziggler's jaw. Jackman seemed like a good sport and I enjoyed him as a guest host.

-The Superstars are shown surrounded around the ring. Christian comes out and Cole says that the last three months Christian has gone out of his way to alienate all the Superstars, now tonight he needs their help to beat Mark Henry.

[Q8] The announcers go over the general psychology of the lumber jack match. Mark Henry is out next and when he gets to the lumberjacks, they take one big step backwards to give him plenty of room to get into the ring.

(Commercial - This Monday on Raw, will Triple H be able to regain control of the locker room after firing R-Truth and The Miz?)

8 -- World Hvt. champion MARK HENRY vs. CHRISTIAN -- World Hvt. Title match

The match officially starts and Christian tries escaping Henry by leaving the ring, but he remembers it is a lumberjack match, so he hops back into the ring before contact is made. Henry headbutts Christian down and Captain Charisma is quick to get up and puts Henry in a waistlock. Henry backs Christian hard into the corner as the announcers go over scenarios for how Christian can get Henry out of the ring. Just as they say that, Christian is sent to the floor and Ezekiel Jackson holds off the other Superstars from roughing up Christian, then he knees him in the gut and rolls him into the ring. Henry works over Christian with some blows and then throws him straight up into the air and Christian lands hard! Vulcan nerve pinch by Henry has Christian begging for his life! He then fights out of the hold by kicking Henry in the head. Christian tries a tornado DDT, but Henry catches him and puts him in a bearhug.

Henry slams Christian kidney-first into the turnbuckle, then misses a splash, and Christian unloads with some rights on Henry. Missile dropkick by Christian almost takes Henry off his feet and Christian goes to the top rope and dropkicks him again for a two count. Christian tries the Killswitch, but Henry powers out of it. Christian tries a sunset flip, but Henry blocks it and tries a Earthquake splash, Christian rolls out of the way and Henry rolls out of the ring. The whole locker room tries taking out Henry, but much like Steve Austin in 2001, he fights and beats the entire roster! Henry rolls back into the ring and Christian rolls out. Christian tries retreating back to the locker room, but Sheamus runs from the back and rolls Christian back into the ring where he walks into a World Strongest Slam and gets pinned!

WINNER: Mark Henry by pinfall in 7:00

-Post match: Randy Orton charges the ring and trades blows with Henry, then goes for a RKO, but ends up dropkicking Henry out of the ring! Both men stare each other down as the rest of the wrestlers look on.

Mike’s Reax: Lots of short matches this week and not anything memorable. This was the post-Night of Champions edition of Smackdown, but the episode before the lead-in show for Hell in a Cell, so I guess not much to say about the show. Maybe next week, there will be a decent amount of quality wrestling.

Make sure to follow me on Twitter @MJCupach. I frequently Tweet during Raw and WWE PPV’s. Please check me out there!

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