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WWE Smackdown Report
CUPACH'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 8/26: Alt. perspective review, Mike's Reax to segment & matches

Aug 27, 2011 - 11:10:43 AM
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WWE Smackdown alt. perspective review
August 26, 2011
Taped 8/23/11 in Calgary, Alb., Canada
Aired on Syfy
By Michael Cupach, PWTorch contributor

SD_140_3.jpg

[Q1]

-WWE open

-Video recap of the 20-man battle royal from last week is shown. Mark Henry is enhanced strongly during the video. Randy Orton on the other hand is portrayed to be a slug who sits on a chair while other faces get man-handled by Mark Henry.

-Smackdown opening music video and full pyro open things from the Saddledome in Calgary...Alberta, Canada (thanks Lance Storm). Josh Mathews welcomes everyone to Smackdown and Michael Cole announces tonight's main event of Sheamus vs. Mark Henry.

-Bret Hart comes out to a massive reaction. I like seeing Bret - he always reminds me of how people were dressing in 1995! Bret informs the crowd that Teddy Long won’t be able to make it to Canada, so Triple H called up Bret and asked him to fill in and be the guest G.M. for Smackdown! Bret segues into a plug for the Super Smackdown this Tuesday. He names the main event for the show, saying that Mark Henry will meet Randy Orton for the World Title. Christian’s music then hits and Captain Charisma makes his way into the arena.

Christian wants to clear things up for Bret and the entire world and that is who is to be blamed for his loss to Orton at Summerslam: Edge. He claims that what Edge said to him before the match distracted him and it cost him his championship. He says that since he lost the championship, he has a re-match clause, and he wants to cash it in at Smackdown on Tuesday.

Bret tells Christian that he should listen to his friends, because he is starting to become a embarrassment to himself, Edge, the WWE Universe, and, most importantly, Canada. Christian retorts that what is embarrassing is guys like Bret who can’t understand that their career is over. He then goes on to say that one thing that Bret needs to understand and that Edge should learn, is that right now, Christian is the only Canadian who matters anymore.

Christian then pulls out a document and hands it to Hart. He explains that it is a court order that no WWE Superstar may receive a World Title match before he gets his. Bret says that Christian is pretty smart and he can’t fight the law, so next Tuesday it will be Christian vs. Randy Orton for the World Title in a Steel Cage match! Christian is not happy with that. Bret says that after this match, Christian will have zero excuses.

-Mark Henry lumbers down to the ring, looking angry. Christian exits, stage left. Henry says that he has been with the company for 15 years and he still has to deal with this disrespect. He earned a title shot and if he doesn’t get it, someones gonna get hurt. Bret went to reply, but Henry cut if off and told him that he speaks when he says he can speak. Mark goes on to say that he respects Bret, but he can’t be responsible when he gets angry and if he doesn’t get his title shot, Bret might get hurt.

Sheamus joins the party and tells a story about his uncle at the county fair. He says that he had a big black bull that scared everyone away, so he had the bull castrated and Sheamus doesn’t want to castrate Mark Henry. I don’t want to see that either. Sheamus charges the ring and both men trade blows, but Henry decides to take a powder and he makes his way to the back.

[Q2]

-Still to come: Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase.

(Commercial)

1 -- CHRISTIAN vs. DANIEL BRYAN

I don’t like Bryan’s new music. I also don’t like his homeless beard. Before the match starts, a highlight package of Daniel Bryan is shown. Sounds clips of Bryan saying that he can overcome anything in the ring is played, and the package ends with Daniel winning Money in the Bank.

The match starts with a stiff right hand from Christian and a attempted monkey flip where Bryan lands on his feet and leg-whips Christian. Captain Charisma slaps Daniel and then finds himself out of the ring where Bryan surprises him with a suicide dive to the outside. He rolls Christian back into the ring and locks Christian in a inverted surfboard, but is forced to break it when the ref starts counting Daniel Bryan out. Bryan whips Christian into the far corner and eats boot on a charge in. Christian plays to the crowd, thus giving Bryan a chance to recover and he gives Christian a flurry of kicks. Christian blocks a dropkick attempt and dumps Bryan out of the ring. Booker tells Josh and Cole to “chill” because a awesome match is going on. Smackdown then ironically takes a break.

(Commercial)

Back to action, Christian has Daniel Bryan in a neck vise. Bryan elbows his way out as Cole puts over Bryan saying that he went to the wire with WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio two weeks in a row on Smackdown. Christian takes control back with a back elbow and then he scrapes his boot on Bryan's face.

[Q3] Both men go to the top rope and Bryan shoves Christian off and comes off the top with a missile dropkick that gets a two count. Cole once again says that Daniel Bryan has been real impressive lately. European uppercuts and a Hart Attack clothesline by Bryan leads into some stiff kicks to Christians midsection. Christian ducks the last kick and makes his way to the corner where he tries his upside down kick, but Bryan blocks it and kicks Christian in the back and comes off the middle rope with a knee to the forehead! Daniel Bryan goes for the cover and Booker declares that Christian is out, but it gets a two count.

Christian delivers a drop toehold and chokes Bryan on the middle rope. Back elbow from the middle rope gets a two count for Christian. Christian calls for the Spear, but runs into a kick to the back of the head. Daniel Bryan tries a high-risk maneuver, but he slips and Christian answers with a sunset flip that Bryan rolls out of and kicks Christian in the head. The announcers note the mistake by Bryan, slipping, and are impressed that he kept his focus and was able to come back from his mistake, just like the highlight video showed. Bryan then sets Christian up on the turnbuckle, and he blocks a Frankensteiner attempt by Bryan and hits Bryan with a tornado DDT for a two count.

Christian stands over Bryan, yelling at him to get up. Christian tries the Killswitch, Bryan reverses into a LeBell Lock, but Christian is too close to the ropes and the ref is forced to break the hold. Bryan tries a running dropkick, but Christian ducks it, Killswitch connects, Christian wins!

WINNER: Christian by pinfall in 12:00.

Mike’s Reax: Awesome match between these two. Both men are on fire in the ring. Daniel Bryan also has a gift that even though he loses, he still comes out of the match looking like a million bucks. Solid performance from these two!

-Still to come: Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase and Sheamus vs. Mark Henry.

-Aksana is backstage and the sensual music plays while she introduces herself and she says that she wants everyone to turn her on during Super Smackdown this Tuesday.

(Commercial)

-Did you know that Smackdown is now the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. First Mistico loses his gimmick, now Bret.

2 -- WADE BARRETT vs. A. JOBBER

Before the match starts, Wade Barrett says that he has made a name for himself taking on the likes of John Cena, Randy Orton, and Bret Hart. He says that he deserves to win titles and make money and that facing nobodies like this is beneath him. He then puts down the mic and walks out.

WINNER: A. Jobber by forfeit.

-Raw Rebound showing clips from the John Cena vs. C.M. Punk free re-match on Raw last Monday.

[Q4]

-Last Friday after the Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio match, Sin Cara saved Bryan after Alberto Del Rio tried taking liberties on him.

3 -- SIN CARA vs. HEATH SLATER

I’ve been waiting for this train wreck all week! Smith Hart on Twitter talked about how awful this match was and I want to know if the hype is worth it. The match starts with Heath jumping Sin Cara from behind and I also notice that the mood lighting is back. Slater misses a knee drop and Sin Cara snwers back with a head scissors and a senton on Slater. Springboard headbutt by Sin Cara. Slater gets sent to the outside where Sin Cara meets him with a cross-body from the top rope. Heath is rolled back in the ring and Sin Cara springboard senton splashes Slater, then pops up and springboard moonsaults onto him for the win.

WINNER: Sin Cara by pinfall in three tries in 2:00.

Mike’s Reax: Thank goodness for editing! I wish I was in the crowd to have seen this live.

-Last Friday, Randy Orton RKO’ed Ted DiBiase. Tonight, Ted gets his revenge!

(Commercial)

-Cody Rhodes comes out with DiBiase and his bag-men. He says that he is resurrecting the status of the I.C. Title and the career of Ted DiBiase.

4 -- World Hvt. champion RANDY ORTON vs. TED DIBIASE -- non-title match

[Q5] Headlock by Orton to start and it gets reversed into a leg scissor by DiBiase. Orton breaks the hold and runs into a headlock by Dibiase and Orton fights out and gets shoulderblocked by DiBiase. Dropkick by Orton gets a two count as Josh notes that Orton is now a nine time World Champion. Armbar into a headlock by Orton and Ted moves into the corner to break the hold. Orton gets whipped into the far corner, but explodes out with a clothesline. Ted is down, so Randy...wait for it...puts him in a chinlock! Ted fights out of it and clotheslines Orton and then mounts him and wails away on The Viper.

Orton blocks a dropkick attempt and catapults Ted into the corner and clotheslines him down a few times, then hits a Lou Thesz Press. Orton calls for his handman DDT, but Cody tries to interfere and Orton clocks him and rolls out fo the ring to give Cody a RKO, but Ted intervenes as Smackdown goes to commercial.

(Commercial)

Randy Orton fights out of a headlock as Smackdown returns, only to be dropkicked by DiBiase. Ted goes up top and Orton meets him halfway and the men trade blows with Orton getting the upper hand. Superplex by Orton gets a two count as Josh Mathews plugs the hashtags for Smackdown on Twitter tonight. More clotheslines by Orton and I assume he will be following these up with multiple chinlocks, but I am mistaken, Ted schoolboys Randy then slams him into the mat with a spinebuster. Ted sizes Orton up for Dream Street, but Orton blocks it and ends up giving Ted a hangman DDT and calls for the RKO. RKO gets reversed into a Dream Street attempt which gets blocked and Orton hits the RKO for the win!

WINNER: Randy Orton by pinfall in 12:00.

Mike’s Reax: This match was almost a how-to video teaching me how to properly apply chinlocks, headlocks, and dish out clotheslines. I thought it was a total snoozefest of a match.

-Post-match, Cody helps Ted to his feet, shakes his hand, then delivers Cross Rhodes on Ted. Cody puts a paper bag on Ted's head and walks away in disgust.

[Q6]

Tonight: Sheamus vs. Mark Henry in a Summerslam re-match.

(Commercial)

5 -- Divas champion KELLY KELLY vs. TAMINA

Natalya does a inset promo before the match saying that Kelly is just a doll and she doesn’t play with dolls! That was decent for what it was. Tamina overpowers Kelly to start, but Kelly Thesz presses her and wails away. Leg scissor takedown by Kelly who then gets hung on the ropes by Tamina. Tamina punts Kelly in the stomach(insert joke here) then puts Kelly in a crossface chicken wing that she easily fights out of. Bulldog by Kelly followed by a handspring elbow in the corner. Stinkface by Kelly and she goes to the top and gets caught midair, but wrestles her way out of a slam attempt. Rocker Dropper by Kelly for the win.

WINNER: Kelly Kelly by pinfall in 3:00

-Backstage, Matt Striker is backstage with Jinder Mahal and Great Khali. Matt says that the battle royal didn’t go as Jinder had planned and wants his thoughts. Jinder says that it was a result of a servant not taking orders and trying to do things on his own. So, he will start his retraining of Khali and tonight, his first mission will be to dominate Ezekiel Jackson. Good Lord.

(Commercial)

6 -- GREAT KHALI (w/Jinder Mahal) vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON

[Q7] Tie up to start that Khali wins as he shoves Zeke down. Jackson pops up and tries chopping Khali down, Khali shoves him off. Clothesline by Khali (haven’t seen one of those in almost 20 minutes) and he puts a Vulcan Nerve Hold on Jackson. Jackson “fights” out (stands up) and pushes Khali into the corner and gives him several Stinger Splashes, but runs into Khali’s boot and Khali sets up the Khali Vise. Jackson powers out of the Vise and makes it to the ropes. Jinder tries interfering and accidentally gets Khali chopped and Zeke picks up Khali and makes him tap out to the Torture Rack, which looked pretty impressive.

WINNER: Ezekiel Jackson by submission in 2:30.

(Commercial)

-Backstage, Todd Grisham is with Randy Orton and he asks about Bret Hart changing the match for next week from Orton vs. Henry to Orton vs. Christian in a cage match. Orton says that Christian will have no excuses and no where to run next Tuesday and when he is done he is looking forward to facing Henry who has been destroying all in his path. He warns Henry that he shouldn’t underestimate Orton, in fact, he should estimate him.

-Creepy video for Mark Henry plays. It replays him taking out Kane, Big Show, and Kozlov. The phrase “No Mercy” keeps flashing during the video. This video goes a little long, almost two minutes, but then again, Henry has been kicking a lot of ass lately.

-Mark Henry and Sheamus are shown backstage in a split screen walking to the ring.

(Commercial) [Q8]

7 -- SHEAMUS vs. MARK HENRY

Cole says that Henry is in a even fouler mood since Smackdown has started because not only does he have to take a back seat to Christian for a title match, but at the beginning of the show Sheamus showed him up by charging the ring. Collar and elbow tie up to start and Sheamus gets pushed down. Henry beats on his own chest and tey tie up again, this time Sheamus pounds on Henry who pushes Sheamus into the corner and runs into his boot. Sheamus pounds Henry down in the corner and hits him with a running knee to the temple that gets a two count. Sheamus gets shot into the ropes and runs face first into Henry’s foot this time and then gets splashed by Mark in the corner. Side backbreaker by Mark Henry gets a two count and he yells at Sheamus to get up and fight like a man.

Henry uses all his strength to send Sheamus into the turnbuckle and it looks like it took all the wind out of the Celtic Warrior. Henry stalls for a bit and continues his offense on Sheamus as Booker compares Henry to a avalanche, you should just stay out of his way – you know because people choose to get caught in a avalanche. Bearhug by Henry that Sheamus headbutts his way out of. Sheamus goes up top, but gets caught by Henry who goes for a gorilla press slam, but at the last minute Sheamus turns it into a DDT.

Both men fight a ten count from the ref, both getting up at six. Sheamus takes Henry down with a few Polish Hammers then proceeds to continue his assault on the apron – clubbing on Mark’s chest. Sheamus goes to the top rope and shoulder blocks Mark Henry from the top for a two count. Henry rolls to the outside and pulls Sheamus to the outside and slams him on the floor. Sheamus gets whipped into the base boards on the outside and Henry preps the announce table. Sheamus slips out of a Worlds Strongest Slam and delivers a Brogue Kick on Mark Henry and then rolls back into the ring to beat the ten count!

WINNER: Sheamus by count-out in 7:30

-Post-match, Henry is livid at losing and he starts destroying what is left of the announce table. He gets into the ring and starts a fistfight with Sheamus and gets knocked out of the ring. Sheamus tries a move off the apron, but Henry catches him and slams him kidney first into the apron. Henry tries to ram Sheamus into the steel post, but Sheamus slips behind him and shoves Mark into the stairs. Sheamus picks up the stairs and tries to throw them at Henry, he ducks and clotheslines Sheamus, then delivers a Worlds Strongest Slam on the bottom half of the ring stairs in a nasty looking move! Sheamus is left KO'ed and Henry gives out a guttural yell as Smackdown goes off the air.

Make sure to follow me on Twitter @MJCupach as I Tweet during Raw and WWE PPV’s!


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