WWE Smackdown Report CUPACH'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 7/22: Look-back to last week's Smackdown episode, Segment & Match Reax
Jul 29, 2011 - 2:57:07 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
July 22, 2011
Taped 7/19/11 in Minneapolis, Minn.
Aired on Syfy
By Michael Cupach, PWTorch Contributor
-Smackdown opens with Randy Orton sitting in the middle of the ring on a chair with a microphone in his hand. He introduces himself to the crowd for anyone who didn’t know him and he says that while there is a lot going on in WWE, whether it be the fact that there is no WWE Champion or that Vince McMahon has no more power, Randy Orton has some unfinished business with Christian. Josh Mathews throws to the stills of Money in the Bank and notes that Randy Orton lost the title to Christian because he got disqualified.
Christian comes out with his newly won World Heavyweight Championship. He calls Randy Orton “really professional” and then suggests that the unfinished business should be with the voices in his head. Christian says that all that matters is the World Title. Orton calls him a coward for hiding behind his lawyers and Christian claims that he used his intellect to win the title and it was Orton’s fault he got DQ’ed. Christian apologizes for spitting in his face, but he has been fighting against incompetence on Smackdown and he says that there has been a conspiracy to protect Orton on Smackdown, but he broke through that to become a two-time champion!
Christian claims that he still isn’t talking to his former Peeps in the audience because they turned their back on him. Orton says that these are the people who are going to witness him winning his title back, because he is invoking his re-match clause tonight! Crowd pops. Christian tells him that re-matches don’t grow on trees and that Randy needs to get to the back of the line, but he will talk to his lawyers and see what his options are.
Orton leaves the ring and charges up the ramp to get his hands on Christian, but Teddy Long’s music plays and a ton of refs get between Orton and Christian. Teddy Long says that Orton has already signed to take on Kane tonight in a street fight! He then tells Orton that he will have his rematch in due time and asks Orton to leave without incident. Orton attacks Christian and takes him down, then the officials break it up as Christian complains that he was attacked for no reason. Long is sick of being yelled at and he tells Christian to make his way down to the ring, because he is taking on Ezekiel Jackson...next!
-At ringside, Michael Cole is up in arms about Teddy Longs incompetence and this segues into what happened last Monday with Vince McMahon being relived of his duties.
Next: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson in a champion vs. champion match!
1 -- World Hvt. champion CHRISTIAN vs. Intercontinental champion EZEKIEL JACKSON
Josh says that this is a rare champion vs. champion match tonight on Smackdown, but I think this is like the eighth in recent memory. I’d like to ask him what his idea of rare is. Tie-up from both men to start and Jackson powers Christian out of the ring. Back in, Christian catches the Intercontinental Champion with a waistlock, which gets quickly reversed and Jackson slams Christian onto the mat, then goes to work on his kidneys and lower back. Gorilla Press slam by Jackson and he reps Christian a few times before dropping him. Ezekiel showboats for a moment and that lets Christian get some offense in, but that doesn’t last long as Jackson dumps Christian from the ring again as Smackdown takes a break.
Back on Smackdown, Christian misses a baseball slide and gets introduced to the announce table in a painful way! Jackson tries a clothesline, but Christian drop toe holds him into the steel steps and rolls Ezekiel back into the ring. Back-elbow from the second rope by the World Champion followed up by standing on Zeke’s back and choking him on the bottom rope. Christian lets everyone know that he is the champion now and that gives Zeke a chance to catch his breath. He catches Christian in the stomach with a few shots and knocks him down, but misses a elbow drop. Dropkick to the knee by Christian gets a two count.
Chinlock by Captain Charisma, but Jackson powers out and Samoan Drops Christian and both men fight a ten count from the ref. Jackson clotheslines Christian down three times, then walks into a boot on the fourth clothesline. Christian to the top rope for a high risk move and Jackson catches him on the way down! Triple bodyslam from Ezekiel, but Christian clips the knee on the fourth body slam. Christian tries the Killswitch, but Jackson reverses it and slams Christian into the turnbuckle kidney first, he tries it again, but Christian slips out and shoves Jackson shoulder first into the steel post, Christian then nails him with a Killswitch when he bounces back and gets the win!
WINNER: Christian by pinfall in 11:00. Jackson continues to be booked to lose and I don’t know why. This happened to Wade Barrett when he was IC champion and now he's had to scratch and crawl back into mattering. Is this the path that Jackson is on?
-Still to come, Vince McMahon is no longer Chief Operating Officer of WWE, highlights of Triple H taking over coming up.
-Summerslam is August 14!
-Remember Dashing Cody Rhodes? Highlights of his career pre and post face shattering injury are shown. Disfigured Cody Rhodes doesn’t have the same ring as Dashing Cody Rhodes and I commend them for not going with it.
-Michael Cole is in the ring and he asks for everyone's attention as his guest tonight is the winner of the Smackdown Money in the Bank ladder match, D. Bryan. Bryan is currently at the top of Booker T’s fave five, and to my knowledge, that doesn’t pay any more or any less than not being one of Booker’s fave five. Cole starts off by calling Daniel's win a fluke. Daniel retorts that his opinion of what he does means nothing to him. Cole calls him a goody two-shoes, but he knows that when the champion is laid out and vulnerable in the ring, he will do what everyone else has done and cash in on that prone champion. Cole then says that he doesn’t deserve to be champion! Bryan says that Cole didn’t deserve to be in a marquee match at WrestleMania, in fact, all he deserved was to be booed out of the building by 70,000 fans at WrestleMania.
Bryan goes over his accomplishments from the last twelve years and for everything that has gone wrong in his career, he never complained because it is what he has always wanted to do because being WWE Champion is what he always to be! Crowd pops pretty big for that and they pop again when Bryan says that he earned it. Daniel says that he doesn’t want to be a fluke champion and he says that he will be the first guy to say when he is cashing in his briefcase, and it will be at WrestleMania, in Miami.
-Heath Slater comes down to the ring and says that only Daniel Bryan would pick the grandest stage of them all to be a loser! He says that Daniel is a natural-born loser. He lost NXT season one, he was kicked out of Nexus, and he will be a loser when he faces the One Man Rock Band, right now!
2 -- DANIEL BRYAN vs. HEATH SLATER
Headlock by Slater to start, and Bryan fights out and dropkicks Slater and tries the LeBell Lock, but Slater rolls out of the ring to regroup as Smackdown takes a break less than a minute into the match.
Armdrag by D. Bryan as Smackdown returns, Slater turns it into a pinning combination, Bryan bridges out and monkey flips Slater into the corner. Daniel with a running dropkick attempt in the corner, but no one is home! Neckbreaker by Slater gets a two count as Cole calls Bryan telling everyone when he is cashing in Money in the Bank “stupid."
Chinlock by Slater screeches everything to a halt. Bryan fights out of it and runs into a back elbow from Slater. Heath pounds away at Bryan in the corner and whips him into the far turnbuckle and the force brings Bryan to his knees. Back and forth punching form both men that Slater gets the better of and he does more clubbering in the corner on Bryan! Slater is looking pretty strong against Bryan here.
Chinlock number two by Slater on Daniel Bryan. Second verse, same as the first! Slater whips Bryan into the far corner and Bryan back-flips over Heath and nails him with a flying forearm. Daniel tries getting some offense going, but puts his head down and it gets kicked. Slater tries a cross-body on Bryan, but gets dumped to the outside where Daniel jumps off the apron and absolutely nails Slater with a flying knee!
Back in the ring Bryan comes off the top rope with a missile dropkick that gets a two count. Bryan tries the LeBell Lock again, but Slater turns it into a powerful spinebuster! Reverse DDT attempt by Slater, Bryan knees him in the head instead. Both men trade pinning combinations and out of nowhere Bryan locks Slater into a Front Facelock that gets the submission victory!
WINNER: Daniel Bryan via submission in 11:00. Nice match that showcased Heath Slater pretty well, but ultimately put over Bryan strong.
-Cole says that he will puke if Bryan wins the World Title at WrestleMania 28. I’d pay to see that!
-Highlights of Mark Henry vs. Big Show from Money in the Bank is shown. Post-match, Mark Henry Pillmanizes Show’s left leg.
-Matt Striker, backstage with Henry, asks one question: When will this destruction end? Henry says that it will never end because he enjoyed it and took a lot of pleasure in destroying the Big Show.
-Up next, Triple H tells Vince McMahon to hit the bricks!
-Did You Know: The Rock is more popular than Cena on Twitter, but Cena is more popular than The Rock on Facebook? It is moot because I am more popular than both men on MySpace! Take that!
-Exterior shots of the Hard Rock Café and the Target Center in Minnesota are shown.
-The segment of Vince trying to fire Cena, but getting “relieved of his duties” from last Monday's Raw is shown. Almost in its entirety. What bet did Vince lose to be forced to wear that “fugly” suit? Yes, I’m giving fashion advice, deal with it. I’ll also says that Cena looks like a walking Confederate Flag. Hunter looked stylish. Okay, enough fashion talk.
-Cole talks solemnly like Vince is dead. Even though Vince has been portrayed as a heel recently, everyone seems to sympathize with McMahon.
-Coming up: Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus.
3 -- WADE BARRETT vs. SHEAMUS
It is noted that Sheamus injured Sin Cara at the pay-per-view and he will be out for 30 days exactly (hmmm). Knee to the sternum by Sheamus to start and he goes to smash Barrett's head into the turnbuckle, but Wade puts on the brakes and starts tearing into Sheamus. Good back and forth brawling by both men and they look like they are just tearing into each other. Cole gives everyone their random Wade Barrett fact for the week: Just like George Costanza, he is a qualified Marine Biologist! Cool. This match is all brawling and big boots and back and forth action! Pumphandle slam by Barrett is reversed into a Irish Curse backbreaker that gets a two count.
Sheamus ties Wade in the ropes and crushes some forearms across his chest, then running knees him in the head. Both men fall to the outside and I want to yell, "catfight!" as they are rolling around trading punches. Both men end up getting counted out, but neither care because they just keep fighting all around the ringside area. Both men find themselves back in the ring and Barrett tries a Wasteland, but Sheamus wiggles out of it and Brogue Kicks Wade and stands over him with his arms in the air like he won.
WINNER: Double count-out at 4:30. Good intense fight, not match, fight. I was getting into that.
-Backstage, Kane cuts a promo that he has been spreading fear across the DC Universe with Sinestro and the rest of the Sinestro Corps, wait, I mean the WWE Universe for 14 years. But, nowadays he is the one being haunted by his own humanity. He says that he feels less like a monster and more like a human and tonight he will purge his compassion and exorcise his humanity forever. Tonight, Randy Orton will be the first to remember what kind of monster Kane is. Good promo.
-Randy Orton makes his way to ringside as Smackdown takes a break.
4 -- RANDY ORTON vs. KANE -- Street Fight
Kane’s pyro seemed to startle the Viper. Not very Viper-like, in my opinion! Kane comes out firing with some right hands to Orton and he pounds Orton down in the corner. Kane whips Orton into the far corner and clotheslines him and tries it again, but eats Ortons boot. Lou Thesz Press by Orton gets turned into a chokeslam attempt by Kane that gets turned into a RKO attempt by Orton. Orton rolls out out of the ring and Kane follows him out and both men start brawling up the ramp. Kane smashes Randy's head into the ringside barrier and Randy answers back by ramming Kane's face into the apron of the ring.
Orton reaches under the ring and pulls out a Kendo Stick and smashes it to pieces over Kane's back. Randy tries pulling Kane into the ring, but gets back body dropped to the floor for his trouble. Kane whips Orton into the barrier and both men looks winded at 3:00 as Smackdown goes to commercial!
Kane is mounted on Orton and pounding away at Orton as Smackdown returns. Kane drops a knee on Orton and tries a pin but comes up short. Both men trade knees to the stomach. Kane charges The Viper and it is a low bridge as Kane goes flying to the floor. Orton with a axehandle smash from the apron gets caught in the jaw with a uppercut by Kane when he lands. Kane preps the announce table and looks like he is going to chokeslam Orton onto the table, but Orton catches his balance and stands on the table. Orton kicks Kane and slips into the hole where a monitor goes on the table and he spills off the table. Randy tries laughing it off and although he is laughing, something tells me that that table will be future endeavored and/or sent back to FCW so it can learn how to work. Both men are selling knee injuries and Orton strikes Kane's knee by smashing it with one half of the steel steps as Smackdown takes another break.
Randy Orton is kicking Kane's bad leg and tries a running kick, but runs into a big boot from Kane. Kane climbs the turnbuckle and tries coming off with a flying clothesline, but Orton sidesteps him and send Kane into the turnbuckle. Hangman DDT by Orton and he signals for the RKO. Epic RKO fail! Kane sidewalk slams Orton and gets a two count. Flying clothesline by Kane does more damage to Kane leg than it did to Orton. Chokeslam attempt by Kane turns into a RKO and Kane kicks out of the RKO! Orton can’t believe it and he looks pissed. Orton sets up the FCW Punt, but runs into a chokeslam and Orton kicks out of the chokeslam! Now Kane can’t believe it.
Kane has a chair and he hits Orton in the stomach, then on the back with the chair a few times as Orton writhes in pain. Kane calls for the end and attempts a Tombstone, but Orton fights out and almost gets Chokeslammed, but turns it into a RKO on the steel chair that was left carelessly in the ring and that is good enough for the win!
WINNER: Randy Orton by pinfall in 23:00. So, if this match was 23:00, it looks like 12:00 were spent on commercials. So-so street fight, in my opinion. The table spot looked awkward and I’m surprised that Orton didn’t get legit injured by it.
-Post-match: both men shake hands and Kane continues to sell the RKO. Kane gets a slight ovation from the crowd as he makes his way back to his feet and Mark Henry lumbers down to the ring with a look of murder in his eyes. Kane strikes first, but he is too injured from the match and Henry kicks Kane leg out from under his leg (TM Owen Hart). Henry goes to work on the injured leg, slamming it knee first into the mat. Henry demands Kane get up and he give shim the World Strongest Slam when he makes it to his feet. Henry picks him up and delivers a second one for good measure. Henry rolls out of the ring to get a chair and the announcers hightail it out of there. Mark proceeds to Pillmanize Kane’s leg! Ref’s try tending to Kane as Henry yells at him to stay down as Smackdown fades out!
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