KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
JULY 15, 2011
UNCASVILLE, CONN. AT THE MOHEGAN SUN
AIRED ON SYFY

[Q1]

-The Smackdown opening with the Green Day song aired. Then Michael Cole introduced the show and said the landscape of WWE could be changed forever in 48 hours at Money in the Bank. Booker T hyped Kane vs. Randy Orton and Ezekiel Jackson vs. Ted DiBiase.

-Josh Mathews introduced Orton from mid-ring. Orton made his full ring intro. Mathews said if he's DQ'd on Sunday, Christian becomes the World Champion. Mathews brought up Orton's history of having a temper. Orton said on Sunday he will not get disqualified. He said he has proven there is more than one way for him to beat Christian. He said this is a cheap attempt for Christian to stack the odds in his favor because he knows he can't beat him. Christian interrupted on the big screen. Christian said his lawyers made him put that stip in the contract, whereas he didn't want it. He said he just wants to have another classic match with him. Christian unveiled a framed photo of Christian standing over Orton's fallen body while holding the World Title belt over his head. Christian reminisced that was the night he smashed his head with the belt. He said that's going to be the final scene at Money in the Bank, with him standing over him with the World Title belt.

Orton said even he expects more from him. He said it's borderline pathetic. Christian said there are a lot of things that are pathetic. He said his family is pathetic, such as his father. He said he wore a cast on his arm for years, never came close to winning a title, and was a "glorified sidekick." He said there's a wing of the Hall of Fame for top stars, such as Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, and Steve Austin, but his dad is in the wing with Bob Eucker and Drew Carey - total jokes - and that's where his father is. He said WWE put Bob Orton Jr. in the HOF just to keep him happy. He said if Randy thinks otherwise, he's even more pathetic.

Orton said he's having a hard time hearing everything from way back there, so how about he come to the ring and repeat everything he just said to his face. Christian said he'll come to the ring on Sunday. Orton said Christian is a pathetic excuse of a man and Superstar. He said after Sunday, he'll be a bitchy flash in the pan whose only claim to fame will be his friend helping him become champion for only five days. "What a run… now that's pathetic." Orton said.

Good segment. It firmly established Christian as a heel and gave fans a reason to want to see Orton beat the snot out of him on Sunday.

-The announcers at ringside reacted to that segment. Then they threw to a video feature on Mark Henry. Then Booker hyped the Big Show vs. Henry match on the PPV and a face-off to hype it later in the show. [c]

[Q2]

-The new woman, Eden Stiles, handled ring intros.

1 -- EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. TED DIBIASE

Jackson looks as massively muscular as the most muscular WWE wrestlers in history. Getting bigger isn't going to help him get over, though. What he's missing isn't going to made up for with 20 extra pounds of muscle that slows him down in the ring. DiBiase's looking more massive and defined, also. They showed Cody Rhodes watching on a monitor backstage as DiBiase applied a chinlock in mid-ring. Cole said if DiBiase starts winning, Cody should be a professional self-help author and life coach. Jackson won with the torture rack. He flexed afterward. Whatever Ezekiel is still missing and I'm not sure what the answer is, but his character has no hook or bond with the fans.

WINNER: Jackson in 4:00.

-The announcers plugged Cody vs. Daniel Bryan as a preview of MITB match competitors. [c]

-DiBiase approached Cody backstage and said, "I tried." Cody made him wear a paper bag over his head. Cody said the bag is for losers. Then he took the bag back and said he'll give him one more chance. He said if he loses one more match, he'll come to the ring and personally put the paper bag over his head. Cody grabbed a worker backstage and put the bag over his head. Cole said, "Look at that dweeb!"

-A video feature aired on Cody.

[Q3]

2 -- DANIEL BRYAN vs. CODY RHODES

They cut to a break at 1:00 after a Bryan dive through the ropes at ringside. [c] Cole imitated Booker on commentary. Bryan went for a tarantula type of hold in the ropes. The ref began his count. Cody pushed him off and Bryan fell onto the side of his face on the floor, but was okay. Bryan came back with a dropkick off the second rope. Bryan hit a running dropkick in the corner on Cody, then set up a top rope move. Cody shoved him crotch-first over the top rope, then hit his flying knee for the win.

WINNER: Cody in 11:00. Good TV match. (**1/4)

-Backstage G.M. Teddy Long was, of course, on his cell phone. He talked about meeting someone out front who wanted protection. A ref walked in and said Long wanted to see him. Long told the ref to tell Henry and Show that if there's any physicality, they'll be suspended. Long then told the person on the phone that they would gamble the night away. Kane walked up to Long and thanked him for honoring his request for a match against Orton tonight. "Something is wrong with me, Teddy." Long asked if that was related to his losing to Henry last week. Kane: "I'm a monster. Monsters don't lose to anybody. This isn't about Mark Henry. This is about me. I'm feeling less and less like a monster and more like a human being, and I don't like it. What is happening to me, Teddy? What is happening?" Long said: "If it makes you feel any better, you're scaring the hell out of me right now." Kane said he wants to face the best Smackdown has to offer. He said if he was really scaring him, he wouldn't have the guts to tell him. Kudos to WWE for acknowledging Kane's loss last week and having that be part of a storyline character progression.

[Q4]

-A video package aired highlighting C.M. Punk, Vince McMahon, and John Cena from Monday's Raw. [c]

-For some reason, this week's WWE Fact was about the Hall of Fame, noting that thus far 80 "Superstars" have made it into the HOF including Steve Austin, Andre the GIant, "Classy" Freddie Blassie, Shawn Michaels, and Gorgeous George. There's an eclectic mix of choices to highlight.

-Jinder Mahal and Great Khali were having a photo shoot backstage. He blew his temper at the photographer (who looked like Edge and Chris Jericho's secret love child) for focusing on Khali. Jinder said, "This face is the only one that matters."

-Christian admired Orton's luxury bus backstage. He said he should be very proud of himself. Then he innocently noticed it had spray painted on the side in huge letters: "Orton Sux! Christian - Uncrowned World Champion. Teddy Long = Moron." He said, unconvincingly, that whoever did it would be in trouble with him.

3 -- SHEAMUS vs. SIN CARA

Wade Barrett joined in on commentary. After ring intros they cut to a break before the bell. [c] The bell rang to start the match after the break. Barrett said the biggest mistake of his career was joining The Corre because he was superior to all of them.

[Q5]

Barrett said if Sin Cara tried to fly around him, he'd snatch him out of mid-air and snap his neck. Cara ducked a big boot by Sheamus, and Sheamus flew over the top rope and dropped to the floor. Cara countered Sheamus's finisher and rolled him up for the leverage three count.

WINNER: Cara in 6:00. A big win for Cara. (**)

-Afterward Barrett entered the ring and kicked Sheamus in the face, getting revenge for last week. Barrett then gave him Wasteland.

-They went to Christian in the casino. He said he found someone's wallet. He opened it and said it's Orton's wallet. He threw away the picture of his wife and then decided to gamble a thousand dollars he had in his wallet. He said he's going to win some money for him so he can use them for an anger management course. He said he could use the money for his daughter's college fund since she won't be winning any academic scholarships. He put $1,000 on "1" on the roulette wheel. It landed on "20." If it landed on "1" that would have made for an interesting twist in the skit. Christian said his luck just ran out. [c]

-Long stood mid-ring and said he arranged a "Face-off" so "these two monstrous competitors can say what's on their mind." He said they each must hold their temper or else he'll call off their match on Sunday. He introduced Big Show first; Show walked to the ring. Henry walked out onto the stage next. He said he's not going any closer to the ring because he's afraid he'll lose his temper. Show said the only thing keeping him from walking to that stage and chokeslamming to hell is his holding his temper. Henry threw to a video package or Show attacking Henry with a big boot and then attacking him with a flurry of punches, causing him to be stretchered. Mathews said they'd never seen Henry stretchered before.

[Q6]

Back to the ring, Show said he admits what he did to Henry changed him and WWE. He said for 15 years the WWE Universe has been waiting for Henry to wake up. He said he is now ready to reach his potential, but he said he shouldn't blame him and come after him. Show said he can put that flame out. Henry said Show may think bigger is better, but in reality, stronger is better, meaner is better, and better is better. He said Show has no idea what he is capable of. Show said, "Try me. Bring your ass down here right now! Let's go!" Henry took off his jacket and headed toward the ring. Long intervened and said this isn't happening. He threatened to fine them or cancel their match. He said they'll collide soon enough. Good segment. It wasn't about funny lines or insider comments, just two wrestlers colliding with grudge to settle and pride at stake and an acknowledgment of their history.

-A video package aired hyping the Rey Mysterio DVD release. Very well produced, including clips of him in WCW, hugging Eddie Guerrero, greeting his family at ringside, participating in Tribute to the Troops, and more. [c]

4 -- KELLY KELLY vs. ROSA MENDEZ (w/Alicia Fox)

The announcers talked about social networking and whether or not Kelly has been airbrushed in photo shoots.

WINNER: Kelly in 2:00.

-Johnny Curtis said he still hasn't made his Smackdown debut, but it'll be coming soon. He then said the "cat is out of the bag." He pulled a stuffed elephant out of a bag, then yelled at a worker for it being a purple elephant instead of a cat. He said the elephant in the middle of the room isn't until next week. He tore it apart. [c]

[Q9]

-Cole threw to a video package that he called a "sneak peak at what Sunday is going to be all about." A video package aired on past Money in the Bank matches.

-The announcers hyped the MITB PPV line-up.

-Christian talked to Orton through the camera. He talked about his role in the movie "That's What I Am." He said there's a deleted scene that shows his true talent. A clip aired from the movie of Orton talking about someone marrying to cover his tracks and then not remarrying. Christian said the movie was set in the '60s yet they cast a caveman (Orton). He called his expression "vacuous and stupid." He said he's a bad actor, that's what he is. He congratulated Orton for playing a short-tempered, obnoxious lunatic. "What a stretch, huh?" he said. [c]

5 -- JUSTIN GABRIEL vs. HEALTH SLATER

Gabriel came out first. Slater said from the stage as he walked out that he and Justin were on top of the world in the tag team division, but lately he's been dropping the ball and he's tired of sharing his spotlight with him. He said MITB it'll be his time to shine. He sounds like former presidential candidate John Edwards. Slater declared himself the "one man rock band." Mathews said it was a matter of time before Slater's arrogance broke up that team. Cole said he really believes his former Corre partners were really holding him back.

WINNER: Gabriel in 3:00 with the 450 splash.

[Q8] [c]

-A long video package aired on Cena-McMahon-Punk.

6 -- KANE vs. RANDY ORTON

Kane's ring intro began with nine minutes left in the show, so not much time for a full fledged match. The match began with seven minutes left in the hour. Kane attacked Orton at the bell aggressively. Christian walked out early with a smug smile on his face. Kane hit Orton with a top rope clothesline at 1:00. Kane set up a very early chokeslam, but Orton escaped mid-air and made a comeback. He snap powerslammed Kane, played to the crowd, and then executed a DDT off the second rope. He pounded the mat as Kane stood up. Orton then struck with an RKO attempt. Orton noticed Christian walking to the ring. Kane clotheslined Orton to the floor. Orton chased after Christian and ended up counted out.

WINNER: Kane via countout in 5:00.

-Orton chased Christian into the ring, but Kane met Orton with a punch. Kane and Christian double-teamed Orton in the corner. Kane turned and noticed Christian, shooting him a threatening look. Christian rolled out of the ring. Orton recoverd and gave Kane an RKO. Christian then speared Orton, mounted him, punched him repeatedly, and then stood above both Kane and Orton before leaving the ring. Christian took Orton's title belt from ringside and brought it and a chair into the ring. When Christian lifted a chair and swung it at Orton, Orton kicked him in the gut. Christian bailed out and retreated. Orton fumed in the ring with a chair in hand. He turned and bashed Kane across the back with it seven times. Booker said those blows had nothing to do with Kane and everything to do with sending Christian a message. The crowd chanted Randy's name as the show ended.

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