WWE Smackdown alt. perspective review
June 3, 2011
Taped 5/31/11 in Des Moines, Iowa
Aired on Syfy
By Michael Cupach, PWTorch Contributor

[Q1]

-The show opens with a video package showcasing Christian’s rise to World Champion and his fall to not even a contender for that title anymore.

-Smackdown music video opener features Alex Riley at the beginning, interesting. There is also full pyro as Josh Mathews introduces the show and hypes the fact that the World Title will be defended tonight which I hear is a rare occurrence. By rare, I mean that it is the first time this month. Josh Mathews is joined at ringside by Michael Cole and Booker T.

1 -- CHRISTIAN vs. MARK HENRY

Mathews points out that Christian is all-smiles tonight and no one can figure out why. Christian starts the match by clapping loud to get the crowd behind him and Henry mocks him with some applause. It kind of reminded me of The Joker during The Dark Knight when Gordon becomes commissioner. Christian and Henry brawl for the first minute or so and Henry botches throwing Christian over the top rope into the ring, instead Christian just awkwardly puts himself in the ring.

About two minutes into the match Christian gets thrown straight up into the air by Mark and he gets some impressive height. This leads into a resthold by Henry who tries a Worlds Strongest Splash that Christian rolls out of the way of. Christian tries chopping Henry down, but after a back elbow off the second rope and a wicked dropkick Mark Henry shrugs him off and knocks Christian to the outside. Henry meets him out there and gets drop toe-holded (drop toe held?) face-first into the announce table.

Back in the ring, Christian goes up top and tries his missile dropkick and instead Mark Henry catches him and goes for the Worlds Strongest Slam, but Christian fights out. Christian engages the Killswitch and pins Mark Henry for the win!

WINNER: Christian by pinfall in 5:00.

-Still to come: Ezekiel Jackson challenges Wade Barrett for the IC Title. Two title matches in one night?!

-Christian has a microphone, but Smackdown is taking a commercial break!

(Commercial)

-Replay of Christian’s win over Mark Henry moments ago.

-Christian is still miles of smiles as he reminds everyone that he just beat The World’s Strongest Man and he says that it is a huge victory! He goes on to say that while it is a good victory, it isn’t the one he wanted tonight. Christian wanted to be facing Orton tonight for the belt, but unfortunately Sheamus gets that opportunity.

He throws to a replay from last week and he gives commentary over what happened, claiming that he should have won as he pinned Sheamus for a six-count! He feels he has earned another title shot and before he can state his case, Teddy Longs music hits.

[Q2] Teddy agrees with Christian, he evens says that Christian is a victim of circumstance. Christian says that is all well and good, but he wants to be the number one contender and he first asks Teddy to be it, but then mocks him by polling the audience, which agreed with him. He then asked the audience if they want Sheamus to face Orton tonight, and they boo. Christian says that that proves his point. Long is sorry, he can’t make Christian a contender. Christian counters by saying that tonight should be a triple threat match, with him thrown in. Teddy stands adamant saying that he can’t let Christian have a title match tonight. But he does let him be involved, by making Christian the special guest referee tonight to make sure that nothing happens this week.

-The announcers argue the ramifications of Christian being the guest referee tonight.

-A highlight reel of Sheamus’s career is shown to catch the audience up on what Sheamus has done on Raw prior to coming to Smackdown. He is shown beating up everyone from Evan Bourne to John Cena and looking rather tough.

-Tonight: World Title Match – Randy Orton vs. Sheamus with Christian as the special guest referee!

(Commercial)

-The Capitol Punishment artwork is shoved down the audience's throat as Booker laughs nervously saying that it is funny stuff.

2 -- A.J. & KAITLYN (w/Natalya) vs. ALICIA FOX & TAMINA (w/ Rosa Mendes)

A backstage interview is shown pre-match with Natalya gives some “advice” of telling them to do “more gooder than last week.” I’m paraphrasing there and I think my advice is better than what Nattie said. Kaitlyn and Tamina start off, Kaitlyn ducks a big splash in the corner from Tamina as Josh and Mathews discuss last Monday's shocking news concerning Kharma. Booker asks if anyone knows who the father is and he is rightfully ignored by Cole and Josh. I don’t ignore it because I got chills thinking about the awful storyline that this can turn into. Both women tag out after a failed pin attempt. A.J. dominates to start as Josh puts over A.J. and pimps K-Mart in the same breath. Tamina is tagged back in and she uses some power moves to take over on A.J. Big Samoan Drop out of nowhere gets the pin!

WINNERS: Alicia Fox and Tamina by pinfall in two minutes.

Mike’s Reax: I think they want to get over that A.J. and Kaitlyn are trying to make Natalya proud, but keep losing even though she is coaching them. But, it seems that WWE doesn’t want to tell this story properly. Or, it is possible that I concocted this story because I was bored during this two-minute match. I don’t know about anyone else, but if the women’s division is such poor quality, why not shut it down and retool it until it can be presentable? This nonsense doesn't do anyone any good.

-Randy Orton is backstage looking intense.

-Be a Star! Don’t bully! Do what the Superstars of the WWE do and don’t bully anyone, ever.

(Commercial)

[Q3]

-A highlight package of Sin Cara is shown. This doesn’t capture the essence of Sin Cara struggling with Primo, Chavo, or any other Superstars caliber wrestler he has encountered.

-Cody Rhodes is out with his bombastic bagmen who Cole points out, get this – they pass out bags! Cole then throws to the bad week Cody had last week, losing to Daniel Bryan. They also showed the post match beat down on Bryan that resulted with a bag over Bryan's head. Cody quotes losers by saying that “winning isn’t everything.” He goes on to say that the numbers and the stats don’t lie, but they are wrong because last week he beat Bryan and humiliated him by leaving him laying in the middle of the ring with a bag over his head. In his monotone voice he notes that Bryan doesn’t look like a superstar, he looks like a member of the WWE audience (nice!). On that note, Cody is reminded to pass out bags to those at ringside. Out of nowhere Rhodes brings up his aspirations of becoming the World Champion and he says that when her becomes champion, Daniel Bryan will be in the audience watching it all go down.

-Still to come: Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan

-Backstage, Matt Striker is with Great Khali and Matt reminds The Punjabi Playboy that last week he lost to Kane, got slapped by Jinder Mahal, and took out his brother. I hope I never run into Striker at the end of my day; I don’t need to be reminded of a crappy day I had. Jinder Mahal interrupted by saying that if anyone wants to talk to Khali, they come to Jinder and he will talk for him. He says that tonight he will lead by example tonight by being in action.

(Commercial)

-Random Did You Know factoid.

[Q4]

3 -- JINDER MAHAL (w/Great Khali) vs. YOSHI TATSU

Jinder Mahal’s music sounds so evil. But, Jinder is in all white. If this were 35 years ago, he would be a babyface by old territory standards. Jinder starts off powering Tatsu into the corner, ref gets a clean break. Jinder with a high knee a la Triple H or Harley Race followed up by a vertical suplex. Full Nelson into a slam gets the quick win for Jinder Mahal.

WINNER: Jinder Mahal by pinfall in about a minute.

-Mahal feigns sportsmanship by helping Tatsu to his feet, but Khali gets behind him and puts him in the Khali Vise.

-Up next: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett for the Intercontinental Title!

(Commercial)

-Josh hypes the upcoming PPV in Washington D.C. Booker T and the other fellas wonder what would happen if Obama held a press conference concerning the Capitol Punishment PPV. This fake press conference makes me want to yank cable out of my home. If this is funny, then consider this my retirement from comedy because I clearly have no idea what funny is.

-Last Friday, Jackson met Heath Slater in action and he held his ground against The Corre when they tried to interfere. He is in the ring nodding approvingly at the footage of him beating them up.

4 -- Intercontinental champion WADE BARRETT vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON -- IC Title match

Jackson powers Wade into the corner to start and he smiles at him when the ref calls for a break, Barrett cheap shots him to try to take advantage, but that doesn’t last long as Jackson shrugs his offense off. Back and forth offense until Ezekiel Jackson walks into a Bossman Slam and Jackson looks like he is on dream street. Wade immediately puts him into a rest hold until Jackson gets his bearings.

[Q5]

Atomic Drop by Barrett and Wade gets tossed over the top rope when he tries clotheslining Jackson. Wade gets back into the ring quickly, but that is his mistake as Jackson has caught his breath and he does his body slam spot(I use the term spot ever so loosely) and that sets up the Torture Rack, but Barrett rakes the eyes and gets dropped on the apron. Jackson charges Wade and sends him flying to the outside. Here comes The Corre who distract Jackson as the ref counts out Wade Barrett. Tony Chimel reminds the audience that the title can’t change hands on a count-out.

WINNER: Ezekiel Jackson by countout in a little over 4:00.

-Wade sends The Corre in to do his dirty work, and as soon as Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater hit the ring Wade turns around and walks off. Jackson makes short work of The Corre.

-Matt Striker is backstage with Sheamus, who says that he isn’t concerned about Christian being the special guest referee, but Randy Orton should be. Sheamus spots Christian walking down the hallway. Sheamus chases him down and says that he thinks Christian was robbed and he should be fighting for the title tonight. Christian cuts him off, calling him Snaggletooth, and accuses him of BS’ing him. He tells Sheamus that he doesn’t want shenanigans and he will call it down the middle!

(Commercial)

-Go to WWE's website to learn more about Eve Torres and what she thinks about being a Diva. Women giving opinions in WWE?! Now I’ve seen everything!

5 -- TED DIBIASE vs. DANIEL BRYAN

I learned that Ted DiBiase went to Ole Miss where he fought Michael Moore. There is no way that that was a fair fight, Michael Moore is so out of shape. The announcers debate who needs a win here to get back on track. Bryan won last week, how is he off track. DiBiase misses a big drop kick a minute in after some back and forth offense. Cody Rhodes and the bombastic bagmen come down to ringside as Smackdown takes a break!

(Commercial)

[Q6]

Ted has Bryan in a bow and arrow submission as Smackdown returns. Bryan tries to fight out but Ted quickly clotheslines him down. DiBiase pulls Bryan over to the ringpost where he stretches him around it, all the while ignoring the ref’s five count. It is pointe dout that since Cody has come out, Daniel has been off his game. Is Bryan off his game or is DiBiase on his game? Who can tell. Ted throws some shoulders in Bryan’s sternum in the corner. He whips Bryan into the far corner and Daniel does the backflip off the top rope and comes back with some clotheslines and stiff kicks in the corner. Daniel Bryan tries a top rope Frankensteiner that DiBiase reverses into a sunset flip pinning combination. DiBiase nails Bryan with his running the rope fake-out move. I wish they would name that, because I like that spot.

Bryan sends Ted out of the ring and follows him out with a suicide dive. Ted gets rolled back in the ring as Daniel Bryan stares down Cody Rhodes. Daniel goes to the top rope and he gets met mid-air by a dropkick that gets a two count. DiBiase tries Dream Street but Daniel Bryan counters into the LeBell Lock for the submission!

WINNER: Daniel Bryan by submission in 10:00.

-Cody Rhodes hits the ring and starts laying the boots to Bryan before he can release the hold. DiBiase joins him, stomping away at Bryan as Sin Cara’s music hits. I find it annoying that Sin Cara showboats on the stage before coming down to help Bryan. Where is the sense of urgency? Anyway, Sin Cara has some sloppy offense that gets replayed to clear the ring of Ted and Cody.

(Commercial)

-Raw Rebound featuring R-Truth trashing the merchandise stand. Finally I can watch this without technical difficulties! Truth then harasses a family (Jimmy Plant Sr., Jr., and Jimmy Plant the third) until Cena interrupts and stands up for the Jimmy’s of the world. Yup, Cena loves Jimmy’s.

[Q7] Cena is shown beating the heck out of Truth until Truth is able to get Cena counted out. They didn’t show the stalling and it looks like Truth just out-smarted him. R-Truth then throws a drink on the Plant family.

-Johnny Curtis is backstage where he says that since he won NXT with R-Truth as his Pro, he won a chance to wrestle for the tag titles. Curtis says that obviously that won’t happen. He then pours milk over his head. Did I miss something?

-Clearly, I didn’t miss anything because the announcers no-sell the spilled milk and instead plug R-Truth’s apology on this Monday’s Raw.

-Tony Chimel introduces the special guest referee, Christian, and the two participants.

(Commercial)

-Part two of Chimel introducing the participants.

6 -- World Hvt. champion Randy Orton vs. Sheamus -- World Title match -- Christian special referee

Stare down and tie up to start, both men are in a stalemate. Sheamus works a headlock to start – scintillating. More staring down as Sheamus mouths to Orton that he has his number. Sheamus baits Orton into the corner and drives some big shoulders into the midsection of Orton. Sheamus tries whipping Orton into the far corner, but it has little effect as Orton explodes out of the corner and takes Sheamus out with a clothesline. Both men brawl on the outside as Christian slow counts them, trying to get them back into the ring. Orton with the first pin attempt that only gets a two. Sheamus back elbows Orton to regain control and Orton rolls out of the ring to catch his breath, but The Celtic Warrior follows him out and shoves Randy into the steel ring post. He rolls the champ into the ring and tries a pin to no avail as Smackdown takes a break.

[Q8] (Commercial - This Monday, R-Truth can get his title match at Capitol Punishment by apologizing. Is it just me or is WWE attempting a racially-driven character with Truth?)

Sheamus has Orton on the ropes when Smackdown returns. Cole calls Sheamus the gem of the draft and Booker agrees. Sheamus with some big forearms to Orton's chest. Another cover gets a two. Suplex attempt by Sheamus is countered by Orton with a vertical suplex of his own. Orton is barely on his feet in the corner and Sheamus runs into his boot and Orton follows up with a couple of clotheslines.

Superplex by Orton on Sheamus gets a two count and Randy sells that he hurt the back of his neck after that superplex. Orton tries his hangman DDT, but Sheamus fights out of it and dives over the top rope with a missile shoulder block that gets a two count. Running powerslam a la British Bulldog by Sheamus gets another two count. Orton shows signs of life by rolling Sheamus up for a pin that gets two and Sheamus regains control with an Irish Curse backbreaker. Sheamus sets up a Brogue Kick and Orton ducks it, thus tying Sheamus up in the ropes. Randy with the hangman DDT that gets a two count and Orton is calling for the RKO! Sheamus throws Orton off him, though, and sets up the Celtic Cross that Orton wiggles out of.

Sheamus shoves Orton into Christian, but Orton puts on the brakes and Sheamus charges with a clothesline that Orton ducks and Christian eats it. Brogue Kick by Sheamus and Booker claims we have a new champion, Christian goes to make the count, but pretends his shoulder is hurt, keeping him from making a three count. Sheamus shoves Christian who slaps him back (manly!) and Sheamus walks into a RKO that gets the pin!

WINNER: Randy Orton by pin in 15:00.

-Cole calls foul, saying that Christian just cost Sheamus his chance at being champion while Orton celebrates in the ring. Christian then lays out Orton with the belt to boos. Christian stoops down and yells at Orton that he can beat him. Christian then holds up the title and leaves with possession of the belt while referees attend to Orton in the ring as Smackdown fades to black.

Mike’s Reax: I always thought Christian made a better heel than a face, as it seems more natural for him. Orton also needs a good heel to work with for the summer and Christian seems just as good as anyone.

Overall, I thought this was a so-so Smackdown that was really just a one-match show building to Christian's heel turn. I also like the potential of Sin Cara moving up the mid-card to feud with Rhodes and DiBiase. He is supposedly the biggest thing to come from Mexico and he needs to graduate from the opening-match level of opponents.

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