WWE Smackdown alt. perspective report
May 6, 2011
Taped in Orlando, Fla.
By James Tait, Torch int'l Smackdown correspondent

- A video package highlighting Christian's World Heavyweight Title victory at Extreme Rules was played.

- Tony Chimel introduced the new World Heavyweight Champion, Christian! Captain Charisma entered in dress clothes and received a strong reaction from the peeps. Michael Cole complained that Christian is only champ because of interference from Edge.

- Christian got on the mic and asked everyone to bear with him for a second because he's been waiting 17 long years to do something. He raised the belt high over his head. A 'Christian' chant started. He said he'd dreamed about this ever since he was a little kid. He dreamed about what he would do and say and how it would look and sound, where it was going to take place. Christian said those dreams pale in comparison to how it actually feels to stand there as the brand new World Heavyweight Champion.

- He said he knows there are a lot of people who helped him along the way. He said before he came out here he got a text from Edge. Cheer from the crowd. Christian started to tear up and said that Edge told him to enjoy the moment because he's earned it. He said he's enjoying every single second of it. Christian said he knows Edge is watching at home and that everyone knows their story of growing up together as best friends he said without Edge there is absolutely no Christian. Christian told Edge he loves him and thanked him.

- Christian acknowledged the WWE Universe, rephrase that 'my peeps.' He said they always had his back and let their voices be heard, he said they wanted this moment just as much as he did and for that he thanked them. Christian said before Edge retired he said this title doesn't belong to any one Superstar but each and every member of the WWE Universe and he was right. Christian pledged from this moment on to-

Mark Henry's music cut off proceedings and out came the World's Strongest Man. Cole thanked God that Henry interrupted Christian's sob story. The crowd booed before Henry got on the mic and congratulated Christian. Henry said he wants to go on record right now and state that he was cheering for Christian the whole time. Not because he was a fan or anything, because he looks at Christian and looks at himself and knows he'll be the first one to get his hands on that title.

Christian asked Henry if he wanted his title, before asking him if he knows that it's made out of gold and not chocolate. Hilarious. Henry retorted that Christian's having diarrhea of the mouth. Henry reminded Christian that Edge isn't here anymore to protect him.

- The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh interrupted this exchange. Khali got on the mic and addressed Christian, speaking in Hindi. Singh translated as Khali congratulating Christian but imploring him to accept a challenge from someone who's a former World Heavyweight Champion instead, a subtle dig at Henry. Singh continued that Khali strolls through the jungles of India and doesn't flinch at the sight of ten-foot pythons and has wrestled Bengal tigers. That could not have come across any lamer.

- Christian told everyone to hold on. He said we've got the World's Strongest Man and a 7-foot-guy who was on Monday Night Raw in a giant tutu. Christian said if they got one more freak out here they could run away and join the circus.

- Randy Orton's music hit and the freaky seven-time World Heavyweight Champion made his way menacingly to the ring. Christian looked a little nervous. Orton got on the mic and said he's no freak, but he is Randy Orton. Crowd pop. He said he's new here on Smackdown and if this is how they do things on this show he's not going to sit back and let this opportunity pass him by. Orton asked if he could throw his name in the hat to face him for his World Heavyweight Championship.

- Teddy Long interrupted and said that there's a decision to be made about who will be first in line to challenge Christian for the World Heavyweight Championship. He said he's not going to make that decision, the WWE Universe right here in Orlando will. A big 'Randy' chant started. Predictably the crowd booed Mark Henry and Khali and popped for Orton. It's going to be Christian vs. Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Championship and it's happening tonight!

- Orton and Christian shook hands before Orton left the ring. Josh Mathews hyped a replay of The Rock's birthday celebration from Monday Night Raw later tonight.

[Commercial Break]

- The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh were shown walking backstage. Singh was trying to cheer Khali up and said he'd get another championship match as well as speaking in Hindi. Khali and Singh ran into Jinder Mahal, who is actually really tall. Mahal spoke in Hindi to Khali before switching to English and saying that things are going to get better now that he's here.

Khali bade him farewell and walked off. Singh remained behind and told Mahal it was good to have him here on Smackdown, but Khali's his brother and he's got his career on track. Ranjin's sideburns are among the most awful in wrestling history, right up there with Trevor Murdoch's. Mahal interjected and asked Singh if it was his idea to have Khali running around in a pink tutu on Raw. Singh admitted it was, but said that Khali loves practical jokes. Mahal interrupted again and said that he's not condemning Ranjin, he just finds it interesting, before walking off.

- Sheamus made his way out to the ring for a contest scheduled for one fall. Mathews said Sheamus has been in a nasty mood since losing the United States Championship to Kofi Kingston. Daniel Bryan made his entrance. Mathews said Bryan was the Ryan Reynolds of the WWE... um, okay. Cole asked if he was the Green Lantern before calling Bryan a nerd and a dweeb before the bell.

1 -- SHEAMUS vs. DANIEL BRYAN

Sheamus out-muscled Bryan early, working him over in the corner before hitting a spinning shoulder block for a one-count. Sheamus ran Bryan into the corner but Bryan jumped onto the top turnbuckle and backflipped off, landing behind Sheamus, dodging a double axe handle and dropkicking Sheamus out of the ring. Bryan hit a suicide dive between the ropes on the Celtic Warrior.

Bryan rammed Sheamus's head into the apron before rolling him back in the ring. Sheamus was up quickly though and ran Bryan into the turnbuckle before hitting the Irish Curse backbreaker and standing over Bryan in triumph.

[Commercial Break]

Sheamus was in control when Smackdown returned. Bryan fought back but was hit with another backbreaker. Sheamus set Bryan between the ropes and hit a series of blows to his chest. Sheamus got on the apron and hit a running knee lift to send Bryan back into the ring. Sheamus did his signature shoulder block, vaulting over the ropes for a two-count. Mathews said Sheamus had to avoid getting frustrated with Bryan's perseverance.

Sheamus went for a superplex off the top rope but was headbutted off. Bryan hit a huge dropkick off the top rope and both men were down. Bryan was up first and hit a flurry of kicks to Sheamus's chest before kicking him in the head and scoring two. Sheamus hit a running double arm clothesline that turned Bryan inside out.

Sheamus went for the Celtic Cross but Bryan struggled out and sent Sheamus over the top rope and onto the apron. Sheamus went for another over the top rope shoulder block, but Bryan countered into the LeBell Lock! That was cool. Sheamus struggled to get to the ropes and eventually made it, Bryan kept the hold locked on until the ref reached three.

Sheamus rolled out of the ring and looked groggy. Bryan went for another suicide dive between the ropes but Sheamus countered with a Brogue kick as Bryan was leaping through the ropes! Awesome! Sheamus got back in the ring and hit Bryan with another Brogue kick to get the pin and the win.

WINNER: Sheamus via pinfall in 10:00.

- After the match Sheamus celebrated in the ring as replays were shown. Cole said the entire Smackdown locker room was on notice. Sheamus beat his chest and roared in triumph.

TAIT REAX: Great opening match that really showcased the two competitors. When Bryan made his entrance after Sheamus, I was worried this was going to be a quick squash, but I was glad that both Bryan and Sheamus were given equal opportunity to shine. Bryan's LeBell Lock counter to Sheamus's diving shoulder block and Sheamus's Brogue kick counter to Bryan's suicide dive were both awesome. Sheamus arguably needed this win more after losing the US title and it was good to see Bryan getting some airtime again. (***)

- The announcers hyped Orton vs. Christian later tonight.

[Commercial Break]

- External shots of Orlando brought Smackdown back from commercial. Cody Rhodes was out next suited up and tailed by his two assistants with armfuls of paper bags. Cole said that Cody told him earlier that one of the bags is for Booker T. A still shot of Rey Mysterio spraying mist in Cody's face at Extreme Rules was shown. Cole said it was disgusting and unsanitary.

- Rhodes got on the mic and said there's a common expression he's sure this audience is familiar with: adding insult to injury. He said that's what Mysterio did at Extreme Rules, searing his eyes with mist. Rhodes said he hates that it will reflect as a loss for him in the records but at least he exposed Mysterio. Or rather, forced Mysterio to expose himself. Cody said Mysterio was desperate, gutless and a coward but thankfully he won't have to deal with the malevolence that pervades from each and every pore of his body because little Rey has been drafted to Raw.

- Cody said his eyes were still burning but even through burning eyes he can see inside and out that everyone is still ugly. He said as a service to everyone and at great expense to himself he will provide them with paper bags. Rhodes ordered his assistants to hand them out. Rhodes told everyone to hide their hideousness and conceal their repugnance. He said while his face may repulse everyone, their ugliness offends him. Rhodes's music hit and he left the ring.

- Booker and Mathews were shown at ringside. Booker said he doesn't know what it's going to take to bring Cody Rhodes back to normal again, he said Rhodes has a lot of mental issues. Cole interrupted, loudly calling over one of the assistants to give Booker a bag.

- Still shots of The Corre vs. Big Show & Kane match were shown before Big Show made his way out for a match. Cole expressed amazement at the way Ezekiel Jackson had manhandled The Big Show lately. On cue, Big Zeke made his way out accompanied by the rest of The Corre. Jackson did his most muscular pose before being interrupted by Kane's fire. Mathews said that Kane was out here to give Show some back up in his match up next.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- WWE Tag Team Champion THE BIG SHOW (w/Kane) vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON (w/The Corre)

Show and Jackson locked up twice with Jackson overpowering Show both times. On the third Show hit Jackson with a waistlock takedown and transitioned into a front facelock. Jackson struggled to his feet and back body dropped Show. Jackson went on the offense with stomps and an elbow drop for two.

Jackson hit an enormous double arm clothesline on Show in the corner before bodyslamming the World's Largest Athlete for two. Booker said he'd never seen this happen before... um, it's only happened on nearly every Smackdown for the last month. A slow-motion replay was shown.

Jackson had Show in a side headlock but Show got to his feet and hit Jackson with a side slam. The Corre encouraged Jackson from ringside. The two traded punches with show coming out on top, hitting a big bump on Jackson in the corner before hitting a running shoulderblock on the rebound.

Show raised his fist to signal the chokeslam but Heath Slater got up on the apron. Kane ran over and knocked Slater off and attacked Justin Gabriel but was bowled over by a big boot from Wade Barrett. The Corre set upon Kane and Show came to his aid, tossing Slater into the barricade and shoving Barrett over.

Show got back in the ring and ran into a huge clothesline from Zeke, who made the cover and got the three-count.

WINNER: Ezekiel Jackson via pinfall in 3:00.

- After the match, Zeke celebrated in the ring. The rest of The Corre joined him, with Gabriel and Slater raising his arms, but Zeke didn't look too impressed. Barrett tried talking to Jackson but he walked off and to the back without a word.

- The announcers hyped the recap of The Rock's birthday celebrations up next.

[Commercial Break]

- A recap of The Rock's birthday on Monday's Raw set to 'Coming Home' by Diddy Dirty Money was shown. May that be the last time Pitbull and WWE are ever within 100 feet of each other. Mya can come back anytime, though. Still, I'd rather have Pitbull as Intercontinental Champion than see Michael Cole parading around in a Celtics jersey.

- Booker hyped the World Heavyweight Championship main event tonight.

[Commercial Break]

- Layla was out to a babyface reaction when Smackdown returned. Alicia Fox was out as her opponent and I can't remember the last time I saw Alicia in a match that wasn't on Superstars.

3 -- LAYLA vs. ALICIA FOX

Alicia dominated early, choking Layla with her foot on the ropes. Layla fought back with a kick to Fox's gut followed up by a neckbreaker that Fox made look absolutely brutal, bending right back on impact. Nice. Layla got the quick pin and win.

WINNER: Layla via pinfall in 1:00.

- After the match, Layla celebrated with a big smile in the ring, but was interrupted by Kharma's cackling entrance theme. Kharma came out and Layla and Alicia looked terrified in the ring. Cole called Kharma leviathan-like. Booker said he'd be scared as hell if he saw Kharma coming to the ring. Layla made a quick exit and made her way to the back. Kharma watched her leave and Alicia Fox kicked Kharma while her back was turned.

- Kharma no-sold the move and stared a hole through Fox. Alicia ran at her, but Kharma grabbed her leg and knocked her over with a clothesline. Kharma hit her butterfly suplex implant buster finisher on Alicia and did her weird cackling to serious face routine. There was a guy in the background mimicking her that was hilarious. Layla looked horrified as she went to the back. Kharma's music played her out as she continued to laugh/serious face. Cole said the rest of the WWE Diva's were looking at their fate.

,b>TAIT REAX: Hardly a match; it looks like Layla is a full-blown babyface now, that was quick. Good to see Alicia Fox back on TV. Kharma has been impressive but it's still unclear yet what her intentions are. At this point she has only attacked heel Divas and some speculate she may end up a monster face. It's certainly an odd way to present a character but hopefully she's given a bit of mic time to explain who she is and why she's there. At least there's something going on in the Divas division. (1/2*)

- Justin Gabriel, Wade Barrett, and Heath Slater were shown walking backstage. They entered the locker room where Ezekiel Jackson was sitting. Slater asked Jackson what his problem was. Gabriel asked him who he thinks he is. Barrett said it doesn't matter what it was all about, it's clear that this hasn't been working for some time now. Barrett said their problem is that they can't let it be seen that Zeke is the one walking away from them. Barrett told Jackson to look at him so he makes sure he can see this one coming. Zeke paused, before telling Barrett he better make this look good and coming out swinging.

- Zeke knocked Barrett over and brawled with the rest of The Corre. Jackson was eventually overpowered and Barrett threw a chair into his face. Slater threw a suitcase at him, which was utterly ridiculous. They all tipped a big laundry trolley onto Jackson. Slater screamed that Zeke 'ain't so bad.' Barrett said it was a pleasure working with him, before The Corre left. Jackson lay motionless under the trolley.

[Commercial Break]

- A replay of the Corre brawl was shown when Smackdown returned. The announcers agreed that Jackson had been excommunicated from the group. Chavo Guerrero was then introduced as a guest commentator for the next match. Chavito said that any time there is a luchador in the ring he's interested, so I guess it's going to be a Sin Cara match.

- Cara trampolined into the ring. Mathews called Cara the steal of the draft. Tyson Kidd and his ridiculous haircut were out next as Cara's opponent.

4 -- SIN CARA vs. TYSON KIDD

Sin Cara took control early on in the match, aiming for a handspring elbow but backflipping out of it when Kidd dodged it. Cara came off the ropes and hit a huracanrana with plenty of twists and turns. Kidd left the ring and Cara was hot on his heels, jumping off the steel stairs and hitting another huracanrana.

For some inexplicable reason, WWE thinks that making the lighting blue during Cara's matches is an improvement but it's really off-putting. Cara rolled Kidd back into the ring but Tyson was up quick and dropkicked Cara through the ropes. Chavo remarked that Cara seemed very one-dimensional, but Booker disagreed.

Kidd hit a snap suplex on Cara on the outside before rolling him back in the ring for a one-count. A 'Sin Cara' chant started as Kidd went to work on Cara. Kidd positioned Cara's head over the bottom rope on the apron and vaulted over the top rope looking to hit a leg drop but Cara rolled back in the ring and Kidd hit the apron rear end first. Chavo continued to subtly heel on Sin Cara.

Cara hit Kidd with some quick kicks before hitting a handspring elbow and yet another huracanrana. Cara went to the top rope and hit a cross body for a near fall. Cara ran at Kidd in the corner but Kidd dodged and Cara went out to the apron. Kidd kicked him in the gut before going to the top turnbuckle. Cara hit a Pele kick on Kidd before climbing up their with him and hitting his moonsault side slam finisher for the win.

WINNER: Sin Cara via pinfall in 3:00.

- After the match, replays of the key spots in the match were shown. Chavo got in the ring and extended his hand to Sin Cara. Cara shook it and Chavo pulled him in close before letting him go. Chavo stared him down as Cara left the ring.

TAIT REAX: This match could have been so much more. Ridiculous haircut and lack of charisma aside, Tyson Kidd is a blue ribbon talent in the ring. These two could have had a ten-minute match with plenty of ups and downs but Tyson was instead fed to Cara to push him further. As I said before, WWE needs to re-learn how to feature someone without having to squash another regular talent. I guess I should just be satisfied that Kidd got some TV time. Cara's last two matches have looked infinitely better than anything he did on Raw and the pre-taping definitely works to his advantage. I'm excited by the prospect of a Sin Cara-Chavo Guerrero feud as I think it's the perfect feud for Cara to kick off his WWE career. I feel Chavo, who has experience in both lucha libre and WWE style wrestling would gel well with Cara, who is currently somewhat struggling to make that transition. Hopefully these two put on some great matches in the future.

- The anti-bullying campaign video by WWE from Monday's Raw was shown.

- Todd Grisham was interviewing Teddy Long in Long's office. Grisham asked Long if he really thought it was fair that Christian has to defend his title against Randy Orton tonight. Long said it's not always about what's fair, it's about giving the WWE Universe what they want, and they definitely want this. Long said that Orton had already been through a Last Man Standing match and all that happened on Raw. Long said it was his job to make Smackdown as surprising, unpredictable, and exciting as it can be, before leaving.

[Commercial Break]

- An external shot of Disney World was shown. The sign said 'Where Dreams Come True' and Mathews noted this was very true of Christian.

- Tony Chimel announced the main event for the World Heavyweight Championship. Randy Orton was out first; Booker called him the most dangerous man on Smackdown. Christian was out next. Booker drew comparisons between himself and Christian with both of them making their start in tag team wrestling before slowly working their way up through the ranks and finally reach the big one. Chimel introduced both men formally once they were in the ring; both men got an equal pop.

- Christian stared at the title, then kissed it before handing it over to the referee.

5 -- RANDY ORTON vs. World Heavyweight Champion CHRISTIAN -- World Hvt. Title match

Booker said the first title defense was the toughest as a champion. Christian leapfrogged a running Orton and hit him with a shoulder block for one. Christian pulled Orton to his feet and slapped him in the face. Orton reversed Christian into the ropes and hit him with a back body drop before raining down blows on his chest.

Christian crawled out to the apron and the crowd wanted the Spike DDT but Christian fought out of it and sent Orton over the top rope and to the floor. Christian hit a running dropkick between the ropes before vaulting himself over the top rope only for Orton to dodge it and Christian to hit the floor hard.

[Commercial Break]

Orton was back in control upon Smackdown's resumption. Orton stomped Christian several times before getting a two-count. Orton hit a pair of knee drops for another two. Orton ran Christian hard into three corners. Christian fought back and slapped Orton again. Orton clotheslined Christian over the top rope and both men hit the floor and stayed down.

[Commercial Break]

Christian had Orton in a headlock on the mat when Smackdown returned. Orton fought out but ran into a shoulder block from Christian for a two-count. Orton hit a side suplex on Christian. Cole said that Orton was in full gear here tonight as both men traded punches.

Christian bounced off the ropes and ran into a dropkick from Orton. The WWE's apex predator hit a pair of clotheslines and began to fire up. Orton ran at Christian in the corner, who hit his Pele kick through the ropes followed by a missile dropkick from the top rope for a nearfall.

Christian went for an inverted DDT but Orton punched his way out of it. Orton sent Christian over the top rope onto the apron but Christian hung Orton's neck over the ropes when the Viper tried to push him off. Christian hit a cross body off the top rope for another nearfall. The crowd was well into the match as Christian hit a diving spinning elbow from the middle rope.

Christian set up for the Killswitch but Orton countered into a jarring scoop slam for a two and a half count. Christian went for the Killswitch again but Orton struggled out. Christian hit a drop toehold to send Orton into the ropes, Captain Charisma then vaulted over the ropes looking to hit his signature slap but Orton dodged it.

Christian climbed up onto the apron and Orton hit him with a Spike DDT for two. Orton sold frustration when Christian kicked out. The crowd was on fire as Orton went for an Angle Slam but Christian countered into an inverted DDT for another near fall. Christian picked Orton up and Orton exploded with an Angle Slam that connected. Orton did his usual pre-RKO routine before going for the RKO.

Christian dodged it and went for the Killswitch a third time but Orton broke free and leapfrogged over Christian. Christian went for a Tornado DDT off the middle rope but Orton countered it into an RKO! Awesome! Orton pinned Christian to win the World Heavyweight Championship.

WINNER: Randy Orton via pinfall in 19:00.

- After the match, Orton celebrated with the title in the ring. There were more than a few fans with their thumbs down as a replay of the amazing finish was shown. Cole said never had a match personified victory and defeat as this one did. Booker said he really felt bad for Christian. Orton left to the back and Christian was left in the ring looking disconsolate. The crowd cheered Christian as he left the ring to end Smackdown.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Having read the spoilers (how could you possibly avoid them?) and knowing what was coming didn't make it any less painful for Christian fans. It's insulting that Teddy Long, the babyface authority figure, talked about giving the WWE Universe what they want when this week's Smackdown did the complete opposite for Christian fans. The many Peeps in attendance voicing their disapproval as well as those who took to Facebook and Twitter to blast WWE are proof of that.

Sure, everyone knew that Christian wasn't likely to have a year-long run as champion, but to have him lose the title in five days (two in reality) is ridiculous bordering on insanity. Christian spent the last few weeks leading up to this match building the importance of that title to the sky and WWE tore it down in 20 minutes. It's yet another cruel blow for Christian and his fans. Yes, he won the big one, but all anyone will remember about his title reign is losing it in less than a week.

I understand WWE's thought process behind this, but was there really a pressing need to give Orton the championship that couldn't have waited for a feud with Christian to play itself out? Smackdown is doing decently in the ratings and Randy Orton carries enough star power that he doesn't need a title to get over. It's hotshot booking and it smacks of late-WCW and TNA today, not good. This was a chance for WWE to make Christian a permanent main event fixture and plug one of the many holes in the current roster.

The only good I can see coming of this is if Christian turns heel, angry at the fans for turning him soft, and feuds with Orton for the title. Cocky heel Christian is gold. If not Christian, I'm not sure who else can fit the bill. Cody Rhodes is the highest-ranked heel on Smackdown at this point in time, so I guess WWE could play off his and Orton's history in Legacy. Other than that, it's slim pickings. Orton vs. Sheamus? Orton vs. Mark Henry? (please, no).

Despite my qualms about the title switch, the show as a whole was decent and the main event match was nothing short of brilliant (****). It's just that the finish has left an incredibly bitter taste in my mouth. Here's to hoping Captain Charisma isn't done with that title just yet.

SMACKDOWN BREAKDOWN

Match Of The Night: Randy Orton vs. Christian

Match To Forget: Layla vs. Alicia Fox

Star Of The Show: Christian

Please Go Away: The Great Khali

Quote Of The Night: Christian - "You want my title, Mark Henry? You know it's made of gold and not chocolate right?"

Quote Of 1000 Facepalms: Josh Mathews - "Daniel Bryan is like the Ryan Reynolds of WWE."

Most Entertaining Move: Sin Cara's moonsault side slam on Tyson Kidd.

On The Next Episode Of Botchamania: Heath Slater throws a suitcase at Ezekiel Jackson.

Best Moment: Christian lifts the belt over his head after toiling for 17 years to finally capture it.

Worst Moment: Christian loses the title, his reign amounting to less than a week, after toiling for 17 years to finally capture it.

Overall Grade: B

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