KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
MAY 28, 2010
TAPED TUESDAY IN CLEVELAND
AIRED ON MY NETWORK

[Q1]

-After the WWE opening, which still features several instances of Jim Ross's voice and none of Michael Cole's calling of big WWE moments, they hyped the return of Undertaker, then aired the regular Smackdown opening.

-Todd Grisham introduced the show as pyro blasted. Teddy Long, G.M. of Smackdown, walked out to his song as co-host Matt Striker said when Long speaks, people listen. Grisham said he had a major announcement. Long danced briefly, then announced that in four weeks WWE will unveil a brand new pay-per-view event called Fatal 4-Way. He said Swagger will defend his title in a Fatal 4-Way match. He said Big Show qualified automatically by beating Swagger by DQ last week. He said there will be two qualifying matches later. He said C.M. Punk - who is now bald, he added - will face Kane, and Rey Mysterio will face Undertaker. He called Taker "the fee-non" instead of "phenom." He said Fatal 4-Way will be momentous. His hype was interrupted by Drew McIntrye.

McIntrye walked into the ring and said, "Right now I should still be Intercontinental Champion." He said his match with Kingston at Over the Limit should have been stopped. He said he was in extreme pain, but he allowed the match to continue. He said if he can't do his job right, he'll have to do it for him. Long said Drew may be upset, but that didn't give him the right to trash his office Sunday and interrupt him tonight. When he asked who he thinks he is, Drew said, "I'm the Chosen One." Long said he knows that, but he has something to tell him. When Long brought up Matt Hardy, Drew handed Long a piece of paper and said Mr. McMahon insists he read this letter out loud. Long read a note that McMahon suspended Hardy without pay until further notice "for his reckless actions" last Sunday. Drew warned Long that if he turns a blind eye to his misfortunes again, the next letter he receives him from him will be informing him of his termination as general manager. Long turned and walked away.

Hardy's music played. Striker said he was suspended, so what's he doing there. Long tried to stop Hardy from walking to the ring. Security came out and stopped him. Long said he had to leave "or else they'll make me fire you." He pleaded with him to leave. Drew smiled and gloated. "I'm the reason you're suspended!" he boasted. The crowd chanted, "You suck!" at Drew.

-Grisham hyped that Swagger & Drew would face Big Show & Kofi Kingston. [c]

[Q2]

1 -- JACK SWAGGER & DREW MCINTRYE vs. KOFI KINGSTON & THE BIG SHOW

Swagger walked out and said he is still the World Hvt. Champion. He had a bruise under his left eye. He said "And still World Hvt. Champion, Jack Swagger" three more times. Out of nowhere, Striker said, "Some say Tom Petty is the third Mulkey Brother, but some are wrong." Show tagged in at 2:00 and squashed Drew in the corner. Swagger dropped to the floor and looked on with fear. When Swagger tried his Show from behind, Show fended him off and knocked him to the floor. Kofi then knocked Drew to the floor and they cut to a break. [c]

Show was tossing Drew around after the break, while also shooting threatening looks at Swagger. At 6:00 Show tagged Kingston back in and he splashed Drew, then applied a keylock. As Kofi went for a springboard at McIntrye, Swagger yanked him by the leg backward. Kofi's head hit the mat as he fell. A fan held up a sign: "Bring back Heat!" That could replace NXT and be a new generic show like Superstars, but what's the point other than saturating the market? Grisham said Kofi has a better vertical leap than any NBA player who has played in that arena. Striker touted Swagger's strategy and said that's why you go to school, so you can be smarter than everyone else. Grisham said, "Not to mention Swagger has a sandwich named after him."

[Q3]

The heels isolated Kingston for several minutes until 13:00 when Show hot-tagged in against Drew. Swagger distracted Show. Show knocked Swagger to the ground. Drew went after Show from behind, but Show fought back and gave Drew his KO punch for the clean win as Swagger looked on with concern at ringside.

WINNERS: Show & Kingston in 14:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Solid tag match with an interesting mix of Smackdown talent. It did a good job building up Swagger's trepidation at facing Show.

-Grisham hyped Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio was scheduled for later. [c]

-They showed the S.E.S. backstage with C.M. Punk under a towel. Sarita told Punk he still looks beautiful. Punk said he is beautiful, but the fans are going to mock him. He said he's better than them, but he doesn't care if they mock him. "They couldn't humiliate me if they tried," he said. He then promised to bravely walk to the ring and rip the white towel off of his head and "show the true face of C.M. Punk."

-Vickie Guerrero chewed out Curt Hawkins and Vance Archer in Spanish. No clear context here for those who don't speak Spanish, but Hawkins said something about 15 minutes being plenty of time for something. Dolph Ziggler walked up to Vickie next. She thanked him for standing up for her on the Peep Show last week. He shrugged it off and said it was no big deal. She said to her that meant everything. She asked him if he realizes that she's the official consultant of Smackdown. She said, seductively, while breathing up his neck, that considering her position and the fact that she owes him a favor puts him in a very, very enviable situation. Ziggler then switched gears and played into her rivalries by saying they are all disgusting. She said as a token of her gratitude, he will team with Chavo against Christian and a partner she selected, Hornswoggle. She giggled maniacally, then said, "There is more where that came from," while jutting out her breasts. The camera zoomed in on a necklace that says "Cougar."

-The S.E.S. walked out. Punk had the white towel of his head. Grisham said Punk was embarrassed beyond belief and he was shocked he even showed up at Smackdown. Striker said he has to get over his embarrassment because he has a huge task before him - qualifying for the Fatal 4-Way. Grisham, adding to his obligatory cliche quota, said Punk is between a rock and a hard place. Punk then yanked off his white towel, but revealed a black mask. Striker gloated that Punk is "smarter than you" and "brilliant."

[Q4] [c]

-Striker hyped Undertaker vs. Rey was the TV main event.

2 -- KANE vs. C.M. PUNK (w/Sarita, Luke Gallows)

Striker said Punk looks like Red River Jack or Charlie Brown, referencing Bruiser Brody and Jimmy Valiant who hid under masks as part of storylines in the 1980s. Still-frames aired of Rey shaving Punk at Over the Edge. Striker said what he loves about Punk's mask is that no Rey fans can brag that they saw him bald. [c] Striker wondered if the star on Punk's mask was an homage to the Masked Superstar. Grisham said maybe it's a reference to the Chicago city flag. Punk worked over Kane with mat holds for a while. Kane fought back, but Punk avoided a Kane dive off the ropes to slow his offense.

[Q5]

Kane got up first and signaled for a chokeslam, but Punk kicked out. Kane then tossed a charging Punk over the top rope at 12:00. Kane rolled through a Punk flying bodyblock for a near fall. Kane went for a chokeslam again, but Punk escaped and tried to do the Go To Sleep. Grisham laughed as Kane easily blocked it. Kane then went for Punk's mask. Sarita distracted the ref as Gallows hit Kane. Punk then kicked Kane in the face and gave him the Go To Sleep. It was far and away the worst GTS you'll ever see. The crowd even booed because it was so lousy. Punk made the cover and scored the pin. Striker tried to cover for it by saying it's not the lift that count, but the impact of the knee. He even suggested the kneepad might be loaded. No replay of the finisher was offered. Good decision.

WINNER: Punk in 14:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

3 -- CHRSTIAN & HORNSWOGGLE vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & CHAVO GUERRERO (w/Vickie Guerrero)

Chavo hit Three Amigos early against Christian, but on the third, Christian escaped and hit a sudden neckbreaker. Christian then boldly tagged in Hornswoggle who kicked Chavo's legs. Chavo, though, fired back with a boot to the face. Chavo slapped Hornswoggle in the face and slammed him. Chavo then tagged Dolph, but Hornswoggle quickly ducked a charging Ziggler. Ziggler went face-first into the turnbuckle. Hornswoggled hot-tagged Christian back in. He went to work on Chavo with a string of offense including a top rope dropkick for a near fall, broken up by Ziggler. Hornswoggle entered and kicked Ziggler in the leg. Ziggler threw Hornswoggle out of the ring by hi beard. Christian knocked Ziggler out of the ring. When he turned, Chavo caught him with a suplex and then set up the frog splash. Christian moved and hit the Kill Switch for the win. Ziggler jumped Christian from behind afterward and put him to sleep. Vickie applauded at ringside.

WINNER: Christian & Hornswoggle in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

[Q6]

-They showed scenes of Cleveland, then hyped Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntrye as a feature match next week.

-Josh Matthews interviewed Layla and Michelle McCool, who are working their way toward gimmick infringement on The Beautiful People. They're entertaining and have good chemistry with one another. McCool said the WWE Women's Title is the oldest in WWE history. She said it may have taken 50 years, but the champion is finally flawless. They showed that the singles title, for which there are mysteriously two belts, read "Lay" and "Cool" on the plates. McCool explained that they are both champion because they won a two-on-one match, "end of story... period." They agreed that jealousy is a disease. Striker called it "highly entertaining."

4 -- LUKE GALLOWS (w/Sarita) vs. MVP

MVP rolled on top of Gallows and threw some punches from a full mount. MVP is wrestling with his singlet pulled down to his waist more often lately, revealing his tattoos. MVP went on sustained offense for several minutes. At 4:00 Sarita distracted the ref as the black masked stranger DDT'd MVP on the ring apron Gallows them gave MVP his finisher for the win.

WINNER: Gallows in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

[Q7] [c]

-Grisham and Striker threw to a recap of Monday's Raw focused on Bret Hart as G.M. and Batista quitting. Then they hyped the main events for the Fatal 4-Way match.

-Rey Mysterio's ring entrance took place. [c]

[Q8]

5 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. UNDERTAKER

Rey out-quicked Taker early to frustrate him. Rey dove to ringside to avoid Taker's retaliation, but Rey just outmaneuvered him and dove onto him at ringside. He then jumped back into the ring to celebrate as Taker regained his senses at ringside as they cut to an early break at 1:00. [c] Taker took over after the break. He slide Rey under the bottom rope like a dart to the mat below. He rammed Rey back-first into the ringpost, checked into the ring to break the ref's count, and then went back after Rey at ringside. He rammed him into the ringside barrier and methodically continued to dominate Rey. At 10:00 Taker chokeslammed Rey. Rey came back with a head scissors that sent Taker head-first into the top turnbuckle. He then hit a low dropkick for a near two count. He followed with a springboard sitting senton for a two count. Rey kicked Taker's ankle, then hit a 619. The crowd popped as Rey springboard splashed toward Taker. Taker caught him by the throat and then gave him snake eyes. Rey ducked a big boot and then flip dove at Taker. Taker caught him mid-air, hit the Tombstone, and scored the pin.

WINNER: Undertaker in 12:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Nice match. Two pros find a way to have a credible battle despite the size disparity. It was a surprise not to see the S.E.S. play into Taker winning at all, but credit WWE for booking a clean finish. Rey held his own enough that he didn't lose anything.

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