WWE Raw Report CALDWELL'S WWE RAW RESULTS 5/13 (Hour 1): Ongoing "virtual-time" coverage of live Raw - Jericho vs. Fandango Dance-off starts the show, World Title announcement
May 13, 2013 - 8:00:32 PM
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WWE Raw TV Results
May 13, 2013 - Episode #1,041
Live in Tulsa, Okla.
Aired on USA Network
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
This week's WWE Raw opened with a video package recapping last week's events. Specifically, Ryback defeating Kane before John Cena and Daniel Bryan fought The Shield, only to have Ryback destroy Cena with a chair to close the show. And, follow-up on Brock Lesnar trashing Triple H's personal broom closet.
In the arena, Raw started with Michael Cole introducing the show before WWE cut to Jerry Lawler in the ring. Lawler, standing on a mustard-yellow carpet covering the ring mat, announced Chris Jericho vs. Fandango at Extreme Rules. Lawler then plugged their dance-off tonight on Raw.
Fandango was introduced on-stage flanked by his Dancer of the Week, Summer Rae. On commentary, JBL hyped Fandango's upset victory over Chris Jericho as Fandango and Rae very slowly and deliberately made their way to the ring. Lawler then introduced Fandango's dance-off opponent, Chris Jericho, and his dance partner, Edyta Sliwinska.
The lights went out, then Jericho's light-up jacket filled the stage. Jericho emerged on-stage before he was joined by Kelly Kelly look-a-like Sliwinska. Cole listed Sliwinska's credentials on Dancing with the Stars before the duo made their way down to the ring.
Once everyone was assembled in the ring, Lawler requested fan voting not be a popularity contest, but an evaluation of their dancing abilities. Lawler brought up Fandango losing to Great Khali, which prompted Fandango to defend himself. He said he doesn't think - he knows - that he will defeat Jericho tonight. Jericho responded by saying this show is still Raw is Jericho. He said he's had a lot of great victories on Raw, but he won the first-ever Musical Chairs competition and won Price is Raw. So, he's confident he will win again tonight.
But, even better, this Sunday at Extreme Rules, Jericho told "Fan-dunghole" that he will create a new dance sensation that will sweep the nation called "The I Just Kicked Your Jackass All Over This Ring." Fandango was not amused by this. He then vowed to dance all over Fandango's face this Sunday. And Fandango will never, ever, evvvvvver be the same again.
With that out of the way, Lawler noted there was a coin-toss earlier today to determine who will go first. And, Fandango won. So, they go first.
[Q2] Fandango and Summer Rae prepared to dance, but Fandango was not feeling the odd music selected, prompting boos from the crowd. Fandango demanded the mic to "You Suck" chants, then shushed the crowd. "Hush, hush, hush," he said. "I'm trying to create a masterpiece out here." Fandango said he needs to focus. "What's this, golf?" Cole asked, prompting a Sergio Garcia reference from JBL.
Fandango and Rae got into position again, then started dancing, but Raw sold a left ankle injury mid-way through the routine. Fandango told Rae to stop messing around, then called her useless. Fandango lamented his bad luck as Sliwinska came over to check on Rae. The ringside doctor then checked on Rae while Fandango bailed. Jericho, feeling confident that Fandango was done, turned his back to check on Rae, too. However, Fandango ran back into the ring and popped Jericho in the face with a bicycle kick when Jericho turned around.
Fandango followed with right hand strikes and clubbing blows that knocked Jericho to the outside. Fandango smashed Jericho into the announce table, then ran Jericho hard into the ring steps. Fandango ignored "You Can't Dance" chants, then smashed Jericho into the guardrail. Lawler said he snapped. Fandango then took a piece of the "dance floor" from the ring, hoisted it in the air, and measured Jericho for a big smash. Jericho then turned around and ate the floor piece right in the face. Ten years ago, Jericho is bleeding, but Jericho simply sold face pain as Fandango surveyed his work.
Fandango then re-entered the ring and stared down at Summer Rae, who suddenly popped to her feet showing no ill-effects from the "ankle injury." Fandango and Rae then posed in the ring as JBL said they were duped. Fandango and Rae danced their way out of the ring before WWE replayed Rae faking an ankle injury to allow Fandango to ambush Jericho. Back live, Fandango and Rae were shown posing on-stage as Jericho sold ringside.
Announcers: Cole, JBL, and Lawler were shown on-camera reacting to the segment. Cole plugged their one-on-one match this Sunday at Extreme Rules before announcing a six-man tag main event tonight: Cena & Bryan & Kane vs. The Shield.
Backstage: A jacked-up Ryback was shown walking down the hallway. Cole said he's in action next. Raw cut to break after a 22-minute opening segment.
1 -- RYBACK vs. ZACK RYDER
Ryder was already in the ring back from break. As Ryback marched to the ring, the announcers said they could be looking at the new WWE champion at Extreme Rules. After the bell sounded, there was a light "Goldberg" chant in Goldberg's hometown of Tulsa. Also, an O'Doyle Rules sign was visible on the front row. WWE then plugged their App and went to a video box of Alberto Del Rio being interviewed on the App. Oh, and Ryback finished Ryder with Shell-Shock in one minute.
WINNER: Ryback at 1:04. Too much going on during the presentation for viewers to digest Ryback's squash win.
Announcers: As Ryback left the ring, Cole quickly transitioned to April 2012 for the origins of the Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar feud when Lesnar "broke Hunter's arm."
Live tonight: Hunter and Lesnar have a face-to-face ahead of their match at Extreme Rules on Sunday.
[Q3] [Commercial Break]
Back from break, Tons of Funk were in the ring dancing. Suddenly, the Prime Time Players were ringside. Apparently they're having a match.
2 -- TENSAI & BRODUS CLAY (w/Cameron and Naomi) vs. PRIME TIME PLAYERS (TITUS O'NEIL & DARREN YOUNG)
Shenanigans in the ring and on commentary involving J.R., then Titus rolled up Clay from behind for a three count. WWE production pulled a TNA by missing the pin attempt until the referee hit three for the finish. WWE then replayed D-Young using his hair-enhancer to spike Clay in the eyes to allow Titus to score the win. This was the moment where Cole decided to flip out about the heels cheating instead of saving it for a match that counts.
WINNERS: Players at 1:36.
Up Next: An important announcement about the World Title match at Extreme Rules due to Dolph Ziggler's concussion.
On-stage: Matt Striker was standing on-stage to welcome out Smackdown authority figure Teddy Long to address the World Title. As Long was introduced, Cole noted Smackdown GM Booker T is out of commission as of late due to an infected elbow, requiring surgery. Striker asked Long what he plans to do since Ziggler has not been cleared to compete at Extreme Rules.
Before Long could say anything, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter interrupted and demanded the World Title. Big E. Langston and A.J. Lee then interrupted. A.J. complained about Swagger concussing Ziggler, then they argued. So, Long calmed everyone down and said Ziggler will not be stripped of the title, as it will now be Swagger vs. Del Rio in a #1 contender I Quit match at Extreme Rules. The crowd reacted with silence.
Long then booked Big E. in a match tonight against either Del Rio or Swagger. Big E. over-dramatically asked which one it is, then Long said the audience will vote in a poll. Striker put the mic near Big E. for reaction, but he didn't have a response, so he and A.J. left. They plugged the poll to close the segment, but then Cole said the polls are not open yet. On dear.
[ JC's Reax: That skit came across like amateur hour, like something from a high-school drama class. In other news, WWE just took a three-way World Title ladder match and reduced it to a #1 contender I Quit match. ]
Still to come: Mark Henry plans to call out Sheamus. And, Team Cena vs. The Shield in a six-man tag match.
[Q4] In-ring: Kofi Kingston was introduced for the next match.
Back live, Cole plugged Big E. versus either Swagger or Del Rio later tonight. Cole again pitched the new tagline for the App being "The New Way to Watch Television," before announcing a new match for Extreme Rules: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose for the U.S. Title.
In-ring: Damien Sandow was introduced as Kofi Kingston's opponent tonight. Sandow ran down Kofi and his theme song before declaring the imminent end of Kofi's U.S. Title reign. Kofi was not impressed by this.
3 -- U.S. champion KOFI KINGSTON vs. DAMIEN SANDOW -- non-title match
Kofi nearly won the match in five seconds with a quick roll-up upon Sandow's entrance to the ring. But, Sandow escaped and went on the attack. As the match unfolded, the announcers discussed Turkish comic books and giant snails. Kofi then popped Sandow with Trouble in Paradise for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Kingston at 2:30. Basic deal giving Kofi momentum heading into Extreme Rules.
Backstage: Mark Henry was shown walking down the hallway with a strap around his neck. Henry calls out Sheamus next.
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