TNA Impact CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT RESULTS 12/12: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of TNA Impact - Feast or Fired, X Title match, more
Dec 12, 2013 - 10:00:33 PM
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TNA Impact Results
December 12, 2013
Taped 11/23 in Orlando, Fla.
Episode #50 of 2013
Aired on Spike TV
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
- TNA Impact opened with a video package on A.J. Styles. The video documented Styles taking the TNA Title and leaving to explore "foreign lands." Meanwhile, Dixie Carter wants her title belt back.
- On-Location Video: Rockstar Spud was shown driving "somewhere near Gainesville, Georgia." Spud left a message on Dixie's phone that he is nearing the location. He hung up and declared that he's "so lost."
- In-ring: Jeremy Borash was standing by to introduce "one of the most iconic and historic moments" in Impact history. JB broke down the four briefcases on a table, which was next to the Wheel of Dixie. On to other business, JB prepared to spin the wheel to determine the match stipulation for the TNA Title tournament finals next week.
However, Kurt Angle's music interrupted. Angle angrily marched down to the ring, yanked the mic away from JB, kicked over the Feast or Fired table, shoved the wheel down, and shouted for Bobby Roode to come fight him after screwing him out of the tournament finals.
Roode then showed up dressed in a suit. Roode began removing his formal wear, then told Angle that it's too bad because their fight is not going to happen. Roode said if anyone should be mad right now, it's him. Roode said he was eliminated from the tournament by slipping and falling through a table. Whereas, Angle is a beaten-down man. Roode told Angle to face the facts that he is better than Angle. Angle responded by saying he is so sure that he can beat Roode, that he could beat him twice in one night. (2/3 Falls teaser.)
Roode and Angle then brawled ringside, with Angle getting the advantage. Angle then dragged Roode into the ring and beat him up some more before refs and security hit the ring for another Angle-Roode pull-a-part brawl. Agents then hit the ring for their cameo appearance to separate Angle and Roode, who then escaped his holders and kicked Angle in the crotch. Roode then sent the agents and officials scurrying before leaning down next to Angle. Roode challenged Angle to a two-out-of-three falls match, which Angle seemed to accept by flailing his arm. Cue Roode's music.
- Video Package: Bad Influence embarrassed Joseph Park, then exposed Park for his law office being closed 13 years ago.
- Backstage: Park was shown pacing around while Eric Young tried to get him to focus on the tag match at-hand. EY said Kazarian and Christopher Daniels have been bullying him for months, so now is his chance to stand up for himself. Park didn't seem so confident, then EY tried to convince Park that he has a plan.
OVERALL: Opening Segment went from an A.J. video to Rockstar Spud driving to a Feast or Fired set-up to a wheel-spinning situation for the title tournament to Angle and Roode brawling to a video on Bad Influence vs. Joseph Park to Joe Park backstage with Eric Young. What were viewers supposed to take away from this ten-minute opening block?
[Commercial Break at 9:10]
[Q2] In-ring: Christy Hemme was standing by to introduce Bad Influence, which brought out Daniels and Kazarian. On commentary, Mike Tenay hyped a "pay-off" from the lying heels that Joseph Park has not been legally active for 13 years. Taz laughed at the turn of events, then Eric Young's music brought out EY and a reluctant participant Joseph Park.
1 -- BAD INFLUENCE (CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN) vs. ERIC YOUNG & JOSEPH PARK
Young worked on Daniels early on, then EY extended his hand for Park to take a tag, but Park was reluctant. He obliged anyways, then reluctantly did a wrestling move. Park bounced the ropes and held his stomach as EY took a tag. Park re-entered to work on Kaz, then checked with Young for move instructions, allowing Kaz to knee him in his ample gut to gain control. Bad Influence then pounded away on Park as EY tried to rally the crowd.
The action broke down when B.I. slapped Park over and over, drawing Young into the ring to clear the heels. EY then shouted in Park's face to get up and show some fight. Park sold dejection, so EY grabbed him, put him in a headlock, and landed right hand blows to Park's forehead.
Jump-cut to Park bleeding from the forehead. EY showed Park that he's bleeding, then Park started feeling it. B.I. re-entered the ring, stood in their tracks, and took a beating from AbyssPark. Kaz tried to answer with offense, but Park dropped him with a Black Hole Slam "just like his brother, Abyss," Tenay said. Park pinned Kaz for the win.
Post-match: Park stared a hole through the hard camera, then "snapped out of his" blood-fueled trance. On the mic, EY said that got crazy. Young paused, then said Park spent 18 months looking for Abyss, but there is a reason why he can't find him is. "You...are...Abyss," EY told him before leaving the ring. Park shook his head no, saying he's not. Park was left alone in the ring to contemplate this claim as the announcers tried to play along, acting as if the thought never crossed their minds.
WINNERS: Park & EY at 5:46.
- Earlier in the Week: Ethan Carter III received a massage. He then vowed to make social media explode tonight on Impact.
- Still to come: Feast or Fired.
[Commercial Break at 9:25]
- In-ring: Ethan Carter III's music played to bring out Dixie Carter's storyline nephew for match action.
[Q3] Once in the ring, ECIII acknowledged referee Brian Hebner, telling him he's safe today. Carter waited out a "Shut your mouth" chant, then said he thought they would try something different tonight. He said his hand-picked opponent is going to blow social media up because he will face TNA's own social media guru, Jeremy Borash. Ringside, JB sold shock and freaked out, but Carter told Borash to get in the ring now.
But, Sting's music interrupted. Out came Sting with a big smile on his face to address an "entitled" member of the roster. Once in the ring, Sting said he can't hardly believe he's standing in the ring with greatness. Sting extended his hand for a shake, then said he's like a skyrocket shooting right to the top. Sting got serious that ECIII has done "absolutely nothing in this business."
Sting said Carter thinks he can have a special little vignette or the right last name to have doors opened that should never have been opened. Next, Sting hyped Feast or Fired - where wrestlers take chances, unlike Carter. Sting told ECIII to man up and enroll himself in the match tonight. Or, or, he could just fight him right now.
Face-to-face confrontation. Carter looked from side-to-side, then spoke into Sting's chin that "this is the icon, Sting, wanting me to do something memorable." Carter took a step back, then told Sting that he's on. The duo circled the ring as ECIII's ring lighting remained on. Carter finished his sentence: "Tonight, I will compete in Feast or Fired." Carter then bailed from the ring as Sting sold anticipation for getting his hands on Carter or Carter getting himself fired.
- Somewhere in Georgia: Rockstar Spud was lost. The gas station was closed, but a dude wearing shorts and t-shirts said he knows A.J. Styles. Spud said he just needs to find him. The dude dressed like it was July directed Styles down the road to a bar, where Styles and his friends hang out. Spud excitedly returned to his car.
- Still to come: Hype for the TNA Title tournament finals next week and Feast or Fired.
[Commercial Break at 9:37]
- In-ring: Back from break, Knockouts champion Gail Kim was in the ring with Lei'D Tapa. Gail said it's time for another Open Challenge. She said the competition has been a little underwhelming, then sarcastically asked for the next challenger. Out came ODB, which Gail waved off since ODB is part of the active roster and cannot challenge her.
Gail said ODB obviously did not understand, then told her to get out of the ring. ODB told Gail that she doesn't get it because she isn't out here for Gail. But, for Lei'D Tapa. A fight was on between ODB and Tapa, but Gail clipped ODB's knee to give the heels an advantage. Suddenly, a mystery woman hit the ring and attacked Gail. It was Madison Rayne with new hair to help ODB clear the heels from the ring.
[Q4] Somewhere in Georgia: Rockstar Spud walked into a dive bar looking for A.J. Styles. Spud asked for some service, then a bartender walked over. Spud sought information, but she refused. Unless Spud bought a drink. Spud handed over a bill, then requested a Lady Boy Chaser. The bartender returned with a drink that didn't resemble what Spud had in mind, then he called for information as Impact cut to break.
[Commercial Break at 9:47]
- Somewhere in Georgia: Rockstar Spud got on the house mic and asked if anyone knows Allan Jones. Or A.J. Styles. One of the band members told him the mic is for singing, not speaking. They told Spud to sing a song instead. Spud reluctantly prepared to sing because he is a rockstar after all. After a few lyrics from Sex Pistols's "God Save The Queen," Rockstar was booted from the bar.
- Video Package: Feast or Fired.
- Backstage: A camera "eavesdropped" on Gunner as he apologized to James Storm for flipping out last week. Storm hyped the Feat or Fired match tonight, then Gunner acted concerned about the possibility of one of them getting fired. Storm told him he should know the saying: "Sorry about your damn luck." Storm walked off, then the camera continued to "eavesdrop" on Gunner, who continued to act unnatural in his response.
- Up Next: Magnus and Jeff Hardy go face-to-face ahead of their tournament finale next week.
[Commercial Break at 9:55]
- Somewhere in Georgia: Rockstar Spud pulled up to where he believes A.J. Styles lives. Spud nervously left his rental car, then started jogging down the street in search of his house.
[Q5 -- second hour]
- In-ring: Dixie Carter was introduced at the top of the hour. Carter entered the ring to boos, then started waving her finger. Dixie said Kurt Angle destroyed the Wheel of Dixie earlier tonight, so now she has nothing. "All because of Kurt," she said. Dixie said she books matches around here, but she'll still give Angle and Roode a 2/3 Falls match next week.
Dixie moved on to A.J. Styles. She said this is big, so listen up. Because next week, she gets a new World Hvt. champion. A real World Hvt. champion. "My World Hvt. champion," she said. Carter then called out the two men fighting for her. Dixie randomly posed for the hard camera after calling for music. Out first was Magnus dressed in jeans and a cut-off t-shirt, then Jeff Hardy dressed in a sweatshirt and cargo pants.
Once everyone was in the ring, Carter said either one of them will make a great champion for her and her company. Hardy spoke first. He noted that he won the BFG Series and TNA World Title last year. Now, he gets redemption for 2013 by winning the TNA Title. Again.
Magnus spoke next. Magnus said he is young and the only non-champion in the tournament. But, next week, Hardy isn't a top guy in his eyes. Just the final obstacle. Magnus said if he's going to be the #1 guy, he has to beat the #1 guy, which he sees as Jeff Hardy. Magnus vowed to beat Hardy next week. They shook on it.
Dixie spoke next that her wheel might be broken, but there was only one match left on the wheel. It's called Dixieland. Taz acted perplexed, then Tenay said a video is ready to explain. An overly-dramatic video described the match starting in a steel cage, having to escape over the cage walls, racing to a ladder on the ramp, and the TNA Title belt hanging above the ladder to be retrieved. Basically, an obstacle course. Minus Marc Summers.
Back in the ring, Dixie asked Hardy and Magnus if they like that. Both sold concern. Dixie then spelled out what being her champion means: flying around the world, long days, and lots of media. Dixie's voice trailed off as she told them to think about meeting her in her VIP room with a bottle of alcohol. Dixie left, leaving Hardy and Magnus to contemplate Dixie's offer.
- Backstage: Chris Sabin approached Velvet Sky to make sure they're on the same page for his X Division Title defense tonight. Sabin thought she changed her hair, but she said she did not.
- Somewhere in Georgia: Rockstar Spud turned into a prowler searching for a lock to pick. Spud found the door unlocked, then entered a room in a house. Spud bumped into a toilet, deer head, and guitar. Spud then sat down on the couch and asked himself where A.J. Styles would keep the TNA World Title. Spud accidentally kicked the belt, then talked too loudly.
This brought A.J. Styles down from the stairs to confront Spud. Styles said he knew Spud was coming, which is why he left the door unlocked. Styles said they can do this the easy way or the hard way. Styles pulled the title belt away from Spud, who then took off running. Styles slammed the door shut in the face of the camera operator following Spud around.
[Commercial Break at 10:12]
[Q6] Backstage: Mr. Anderson walked and talked about having some fun at the expense of Aces & Eights with the funeral. Two weeks ago. Anderson said it's time to get serious and get back in the TNA Title picture.
- In-ring: Austin Aries was introduced as the challenger for Chris Sabin's X Division Title. There was no explanation of why the match is taking place. Sabin was then introduced to the ring with Velvet Sky. The bell sounded for the first match in an hour.
2 -- X Division champion CHRIS SABIN (w/Velvet Sky) vs. AUSTIN ARIES -- X Division Title match
Sabin used Velvet as a shield early on, allowing him to take advantage of a distracted Aries. Sabin continued to work on Aries's mid-section while taking the time to wave to his girlfriend ringside. Sabin lost control on the outside, allowing Aries to smash Sabin's back. Aries followed with a missile dropkick back in the ring. But, Sabin blocked a corner dropkick. Aries tried it again moments later and connected.
Sabin, desperate, tried to use Velvet for aid. But, Aries weathered the Sabin Storm and snapped off a brainbuster suplex as Velvet sold concern ringside. Aries pinned Sabin for the win, giving Aries the title victory. Post-match: Velvet sold tears and helped Sabin out of the ring as the announcers focused on Sabin and Sky as opposed to the X Title change.
WINNER: Aries at 6:10 to capture the X Division Title. A very underwhelming title change, mainly due to the lack of back-story and abbreviated match focused more on the Sabin/Sky situation.
[Commercial Break at 10:26]
[Q7] During the Break: Chris Sabin said none of this is his fault. Sabin said it's someone's fault, but not his. Sabin then approached Austin Aries to tell him he still has a re-match against Aries despite him putting his Velvet in harm's way. Sabin kept talking, saying he's going to enter Feast or Fired. Aries smiled and said that's a good idea, so he will, too. Sabin yelled at him for taking his idea, then asked if he's going to take his woman after taking his belt. Aries said he keeps giving him good ideas.
- Backstage: A camera "eavesdropped" on Magnus, who acknowledged the "eavesdropping camera" because he needed to make a phone call.
- Video Package: Next week's "Final Resolution" will feature Magnus-Hardy in a Dixieland match and Roode-Angle in 2/3 Falls. Plus, Gail Kim & Lei'D Tapa vs. ODB & Madison Rayne.
- In-ring: Christy Hemme was standing by to introduce the Feast or Fired main event. Mr. Anderson's music played first to bring out Anderson on-stage. Anderson waited for the mic drop, then he noted Aces & Eights is gone. So, he plans to be the next TNA World Hvt. champion. Anderson announced his name, then tried to echo his name, but Bully Ray attacked him from behind.
Bully, dressed in a hooded sweatshirt and blue jeans, then grappled Anderson and piledrove him on the stage. Ray then knelt down next to Anderson and dramatically talked about good vs. evil. Bully continued his dramatic reading by noting Anderson has raped him of his future. He vowed to be responsible for the future of Anderson's pregnant wife and unborn twins. Impact cut to break.
[Commercial Break at 10:37]
- Moments Ago: Bully Ray took out Mr. Anderson with a piledriver on the stage. Taz said he doesn't think he's ever seen Bully in this mindset. Paramedics were shown awkwardly tending to Anderson on the stage during the break.
- In-ring: Samoa Joe's music played. Will he make it to the ring? Tenay said several others are already in the ring, then Joe made it into the ring to find himself surrounded by jobbers, a D.J., and a masked man pitching curry. James Storm and Gunner were introduced next, followed by new X Division champion Austin Aries. Before the next ring introduction, TNA revisited how Aries
captured the X Title earlier in the show. Ethan Carter III was introduced next to round out the field.
3 -- FEAST OR FIRED MATCH -- TNA Title shot, X Division Title shot, Tag Title shot, or Pink Slip in four briefcases
Once the bell sounded, Curry Man realized the risks involved in the match and decided to leave the ring. Chaos early on, then Samoa Joe found himself alone in the ring. Joe built a head of steam, then smashed Norv and Dewey on the outside. Back in the ring, ECIII scaled one of the corner turnbuckles and retrieved briefcase #3.
[Commercial Break at 10:48]
Impact returned nine minutes before the top of the hour with action back in the ring. Joe beat up everyone, then powerbombed Norv onto Dewey. Suddenly, D.J. Zema Ion scaled one of the corner turnbuckles to retrieve briefcase #2. Taz made the horn noise as Zema left the ring with one of the cases.
Back in the ring, Aries, Hernandez, Chavo Guerrero, Gunner, and Storm jockeyed for control. Joe tried to re-enter the ring, but Aries dropkicked him to the floor. Aries then hit a 450 Splash on Norv and Dewey before trying to grab one of the cases, but Sabin yanked him down to the outside.
Back in the ring, Joe lit up Chavo with offense before Hernandez threw Chavo onto one of the corner turnbuckles. Chavo nearly slipped off the top turnbuckle on the landing, but caught himself and grabbed briefcase #4.
With one case remaining, Gunner and Storm re-entered the ring to battle Hernandez. Dewey and Norv then showed up to double-suplex Hernandez with help from Gunner delivering the powerbomb portion of a Tower of Doom. After a reset, Storm superkicked Joe out of the ring. Then, Storm climbed one of the corners, but Gunner crotched him from behind, taking out his tag partner. Gunner then retrieved briefcase #1 to end the match.
WINNERS: Gunner (Case #1), Ion (#2), ECIII (#3), and Guerrero (#4) at 14:12. Basic, middle-of-a-battle-royal action. The result was building more tension between Storm and Gunner and getting some other guys some in-ring work.
- Executive Dining Room: Dixie Carter was sitting down drinking alcohol when Jeff Hardy walked in. Dixie said she didn't expect to see Hardy here. She then lowered the shades after asking Hardy if he wants a glass of wine. "Sure," Hardy said as Impact signed off.
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