TNA Impact CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT RESULTS 1/31: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of Impact in the U.K. - Angle-Anderson, Wes & Garett turn heel, Wes's hair tells the story
Jan 31, 2013 - 11:35:56 PM
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1/31 TNA Impact Box Score
- Match Times: 38:04 bell-to-bell (most of 2013). Longest Match - 15:15 (Angle vs. Anderson cage match).
- Show Results: (1) Magnus beat TV champion Devon via DQ in a non-title match. ... (2) Joseph Park beat Robbie E. (w/Rob Terry). ... (3) Austin Aries (w/Bobby Roode) beat TNA tag champion Chavo Guerrero (w/TNA tag champion Hernandez). ... (4) James Storm & Velvet Sky beat KO champion Tara & Jessie in a mixed tag match. ... (5) Kurt Angle beat Mr. Anderson via submission in a steel cage match.
TNA Impact Results
January 31, 2013
Taped 1/25 in Manchester, England
Episode #5 of 2013
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
This week's TNA Impact episode started one minute early again, opening with a video package documenting recent events surrounding Bully Ray & Brooke Hogan, Taz turning heel to join Aces & Eights, and Ray demanding his suspension be lifted by Hulk Hogan.
Arena: Todd Keneley (not pictured) introduced the show from Manchester, England. Mike Tenay (also not pictured) plugged the main event of Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson inside the steel cage and TNA president Dixie Carter making a "major announcement" about the future of Impact.
In-ring: Daniels and Kazarian came out to the ring to start the show. They were dressed as "extras from Braveheart," as described by Keneley. Meanwhile, Taz chimed in with a dig at TNA champion Jeff Hardy for getting taken out by Aces & Eights at the end of last week's show. In the ring, Kaz took the mic and called the Scots the real, true warriors of the United Kingdom, drawing boos. Kaz rhymed about Daniels's wiggle, then said Daniels should be TNA World champion.
Daniels spoke next that he hears the crowd booing, he knows they're disappointed that Hardy is still World champion, and he is lucky to be alive after getting Hardy's toxic paint on him last week. He told the "tossers" in the crowd that when he finally does become King of TNA, he will bring the World Title back to this "rotten country," and even defend it against the English. But, until that day, the crowd has permission to worship them.
Suddenly, Magnus's music interrupted the local heel promo. Magnus hit the ring as Tenay recapped Aces & Eights taking out Magnus back in November. Taz "spoke for A&E" that Magnus was just collateral damage at that time. In the ring, Magnus surveyed the crowd before presenting his own theory why Daniels is not World champ - Hardy beat him 1, 2, and 3 in the middle of the ring. Magnus then ran down Daniels's gimmick before noting both of them are "disrespectful muppets." This brought up a "muppet" chant from the crowd. But, if they feel like fighting tonight, then they can fight him.
Magnus dropped the mic to prepare to fight, then Daniels responded by shoving Magnus. Magnus blocked a follow-up punch, then punched Daniels, but the numbers game gave Bad Influence control. Magnus eventually fought back, then clotheslined Daniels to the floor to send B.I. packing.
As B.I. recovered on the floor, Magnus took the mic and randomly changed the discussion to thanking the fans for paying to support the TNA roster competing in the ring. Choppy editing. After the unnecessary ra-ra speech, Magnus changed to a discussion of Aces & Eights. Magnus said he wants revenge, and he's starting with Devon. TNA cut to a shot of Devon walking through a side-arena entrance. Taz said Magnus is going to crushed, then Impact cut to break.
1 -- TV champion DEVON vs. MAGNUS -- non-title match
The bell sounded back from break, setting up the first TNA vs. A&E battle tonight. Devon, dressed in an over-sized black vest, flannel shirt, and black jeans, was quickly bounced to the floor. On the outside, Magnus took Devon around the ring bashing his head into the railing. Magnus then bashed a water bottle over Devon's head before rolling him back into the ring. Devon cheated to take advantage, then clotheslined Magnus to the mat.
Devon maintained control, mocking Hulk Hogan in the process. This set up Tenay wondering aloud if Hogan is going to lift Bully Ray's suspension tonight. Devon worked on a nervehold, then clotheslined Magnus to the mat. Devon tried a second-rope splash, but Magnus moved. Magnus made his comeback with clotheslines before landing a high knee. Magnus called for the end, then delivered a sit-out slam.
Suddenly, an A&E member hit the ring apron. Magnus struck him as the ref called for a DQ. On commentary, Taz celebrated "party time," but Magnus easily knocked down the second member. Magnus then stood tall with the victory as Devon recovered ringside with D.O.C. and Mike Knox. Magnus, selling contentment with a DQ victory, walked out of the ring saluting the crowd.
WINNER: Magnus via DQ at 5:12.
Video Package: Joseph Park's promo from last week vowing to render his verdict on who to challenge on Open Fight Night, which is tonight.
Up Next: Park's TV debut. Plus, later tonight, Dixie Carter makes a "major announcement."
Back on Impact, Keneley narrated video footage from England.
Backstage: Bully Ray was with Brooke Hogan and Sting, who said Hulk left him a "very short message" simply reading, "I'll be there." Ray asked Brooke to translate. Brooke muttered that Hulk always does the right thing. Brooke then pulled out her phone for Ray to send a message to Hulk.
Impact Zone: Joseph Park was in the ring. After shouting out to the U.K. fans, he said he has taken copious notes on who he wants to face tonight, then Robbie E.'s music interrupted. Robbie, flanked by Rob Terry in matching yellow sweaters, said this is a joke, bro. Robbie entered the ring and told "Joe Park" to be quiet. He said the last thing he is is a wrestler. In fact, Park is just a hamster, like everyone else in the U.K. Robbie pointed hard in Park's chest, backing him up. Robbie then met eyes with Rob Terry, who is from Wales, and didn't appreciate the comments on the U.K. Robbie said he's talking about everyone besides Terry, then told Park to face him tonight. Park accepted after being encouraged by the crowd.
2 -- ROBBIE E. (w/Rob Terry) vs. JOSEPH PARK
As Park delivered early offense, Keneley plugged Bellator MMA next after Impact. Park then shocked himself with a bodyslam to Robbie, but then he completely missed a splash off the ropes. Robbie followed with right hand jabs to the face before climbing to the second rope. Robbie delivered a knock-down clothesline, then came off the second rope again, this time with a knee drop for a nearfall.
Robbie measured Park for a big corner splash, but Park moved and Robbie went crotch-first into the ringpost. Park then Hulked Up, shook the ropes, and delivered multiple clotheslines. Park chugged into the corner for a splash, which he missed. But, he delivered a big belly-to-belly suplex moments later. Park then came off the second rope with a bellyflop splash. Park covered Robbie for the pin, shocking himself. Keneley delivered Legal Cliche #81 of the match as Park celebrated and his jazz-music theme song played. Ringside, Robbie tried to figure out what happened as Keneley offered Legal Cliche #82.
WINNER: Park at 3:31.
Still to come: Angle vs. Anderson in the steel cage main event. Plus, Dixie Carter's "major announcement."
Backstage: Hulk Hogan was shown arriving in the arena on the phone. Hogan went through a hallway door into the arena.
In-ring: Austin Aries was standing by with Bobby Roode. Aries said in a company where so many men just steal money, the two most valuable members of the roster continue to be robbed. But, that's all going to change because the It Factor and the Common Denominator of Greatness are ushering in a new era. Aries said what they're going to do is one by one collect all the gold. Aries said they'll start with the Knockouts Title, TV Title, and World Title. But, first, they'll start with the easiest titles to capture in TNA: the Tag Titles.
Roode spoke next that they view Hernandez and Chavo Guerrero just like the audience: a bunch of wankers. Suddenly, techno music interrupted. That could only mean one thing: Chavo and Hernandez coming out to address Team Aries's claims. Chavo spoke from the stage that Aries & Roode are crazy, and he's not sure they're even a tag team. Aries responded that they are a tag team. Plus, Roode already beat Hernandez. "Cheated," Chavo said. Chavo then suggested they fight. Aries responded by saying they fight each other tonight.
3 -- AUSTIN ARIES (w/Bobby Roode) vs. TNA tag champion CHAVO GUERRERO (w/Hernandez)
Aries delivered early offense, but Chavo came back with a slingshot elbow drop from the ring apron. The two men continued to battle leading to commercial.
[Q4] Back from break, Aries was in control of the action. Aries maintained control as Taz extolled Aries's virtues. Aries cheated to maintain control as Roode encouraged him from the outside. Aries then took his time climbing to the top rope, posed, and completely missed a top-rope splash. Chavo made his comeback after Aries missed, delivering a dropkick to the mouth. Chavo channeled Eddie, then delivered a surprising windmill kick to the head for a nearfall.
At 9:30, Tenay offered his obligatory WWE reference on Chavo's background. Chavo then snapped off Three Amigos suplexes as Roode threw a fit ringside. Chavo then climbed to the top rope and delivered a frogsplash. But, Roode hit the ring to distract the ref. Chaos as all four men got involved and the ref tried to take control, but the heels cheated, Aries hit the Brainbuster on Chavo, and it was good for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Aries at 10:28 - Aries & Roode get a future Tag Title shot. What is the logic in a singles match determining whether a tag team should receive a Tag Title shot? That's why it's "tag team wrestling." Baffling.
Backstage: Bully Ray was shown approaching Brooke Hogan in the hallway. They're meeting up with Hulk Hogan next.
Locker Room: Kurt Angle was in the room with Samoa Joe, Wes Brisco, and Garett Bischoff getting ready to face Mr. Anderson tonight. Angle said he wants Anderson one-on-one tonight, and Joe ensured him it will happen. Joe then got in Wes & Garett's faces to tell them to back off and not get involved. Joe stomped off and W&B asked Angle what his deal is. Angle told them to calm down; it's just Joe being Joe.
[Q5 -- second hour] Video Package: A recap of the Bully & Brooke love interest storyline leading to Taz turning heel to join Aces & Eights and Ray demanding that Hulk lift his suspension.
In-ring: Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan came to the ring as Taz yelled about no one being able to touch him because he has an iron-clad contract. Taz channeled JBL by saying Ray should call a wa-mbulance if he wants to complain about what happened to him in the wedding two weeks ago.
In the ring, Ray told Brooke that he loves her very much. "Yuck!" Taz said. Bully said it's because of his love for Brooke that he got suspended. And now, he's bonded to Hulk because they have a common enemy in Aces & Eights. Ray looked into the camera and said he needs Hulk to lift the suspension. He then called out Sting to help him convince Hulk to lift the suspension. Ray led the crowd in a "Sting, Sting, Sting" chant before Sting's music played.
Out came Sting dressed in his fancy red ring jacket doing the Sting howl toward the crowd. Sting entered the ring and surveyed the crowd before waiting out "Sting, Sting, Sting" chants. Sting seemed to be enjoying performing in front of a major-league crowd. He told everyone to forget about the "Sting" chant and get a "Hulk" chant going. Ray encouraged everyone to join in, then Sting led the crowd in a "Hogan, Hogan" chant. "Ah, c'mon!" Taz shouted as Hogan's music played. "This is ridiculous."
Hogan walked out on-stage and surveyed the crowd before slowly making his way down the entrance ramp connected to the ring to meet up with Sting, Bully, and Brooke. Once in the ring, Hogan gave Sting a speech about doing the right thing when he walked Brooke down the aisle for wedding. He said when it comes to his family, he always does the right thing. "That's why Bully is re-instated, brother!" Hogan said. Ray flipped out, celebrating the news.
Ray hugged Brooke, then Hulk said what gets him crazy is confusing family and business. Hogan said he's going to do the right thing "for this business" by making a match. He booked two guys from Aces & Eights against Bully and Sting. But, to make sure that he takes care of all the business, this tag match will be a Tables match. "Ah, c'mon, gimme a break!" Taz said. Hogan's music then played before Hulk and Ray shook hands as Brooke watched with a big smile.
Backstage: Velvet Sky was shown walking down the hallway. Who will she call out tonight? Knockouts positioned after the Hogan Family Drama segment for the third time this month. Tenay added that Dixie Carter's "major announcement" is next.
[Q6] Dixie Carter Announcement: Standing in front of an Impact Wrestling graphic on a video monitor, Dixie announced that TV tapings for Impact are going on the road "permanently" starting March 14 from Chicago. She thanked everyone for coming to Orlando and visiting them, now they will visit the fans in their hometowns.
In-ring: Velvet Sky was introduced to the ring for an Open Fight Night call-out. As Taryn Terrell stood by as referee for the match, Velvet called out Knockouts champion Tara, as well as Jessie following his constant KO Title match interference. Velvet wasn't done, as she brought out James Storm to be her tag partner tonight.
4 -- JAMES STORM & VELVET SKY vs. JESSIE & KO champion TARA -- mixed tag match -- Taryn Terrell special referee
Storm teed off on the inexperienced Jessie early on. As Storm continued to work him over, Keneley insulted Taz, asking him if he rides a bicycle or tricycle being part of Aces & Eights. Taz said guys like him end up in a bodybag, and if he doesn't watch his back, he's going to get hurt. Tenay facetiously told Keneley to watch himself because he's dealing with Teflon Taz. Tenay brought up the Super Bowl, then tried to find some wrestling connections to the Super Bowl. Taz told Tenay he's getting desperate with his segues. Taz has a little Don West in him tonight.
In the ring, Storm dropped Jessie with Last Call. Velvet then tagged in and hit In Your Face on Tara for the win. Tenay said that should be an eye-opener for (pre-occupied) Brooke Hogan when deciding on Tara's next KO Title defense. Tenay opined that if Jessie is not involved, then Velvet has a good chance to become Knockouts champion again.
WINNERS: Velvet & Storm at 3:38. Is this really the best use of James Storm?
Up Next: Update on TNA champion Jeff Hardy following Aces & Eights's attack last week.
[Q7] Last Thursday: Jeff Hardy defended the TNA World Title against Daniels, Taz asked Hardy what he's going to do when A&E destroys TNA, and an A&E member smashed the back of Hardy's knee.
On commentary, Tenay voiced-over an update that Hardy was checked out this past weekend by doctors. Tenay said the results of an MRI will be provided on next week's Impact.
Earlier Tonight: Hulk Hogan re-instated Bully Ray to the TNA roster. Hogan also booked Ray & Sting vs. Two Guys From Aces & Eights for next week's show. On commentary, Taz said he can't even think of the words to express how angry he is about Hogan.
Moments Ago: Hulk and Brooke were shown talking to a backstage cameraman. Hogan said the way Ray fought for his daughter makes him okay in his book. Hulk said when he felt what Brooke felt and Sting felt, he did the right thing for his family. Hulk said he might as well give his son-in-law a little wedding present by putting him in a Tables match next week.
Next Week: Devon & D.O.C. vs. Bully & Sting in a Tables match.
Still to come tonight, the steel cage main event when Angle faces Anderson, who hasn't appeared on the show yet.
Video Package: Anderson vs. Angle going back to their Lockdown 2010 clash.
Backstage: Mr. Anderson in the flesh. Anderson said Aces & Eights has shown him more love and brotherhood in the last few weeks than TNA showed him his entire three-year run. Anderson said he's ready for Angle, then vowed to make sure Angle doesn't leave here the same way he came.
Locker Room: Someone took out Samoa Joe. Garett Bischoff tried to check on him before Angle barged in. Angle said he's up next and can't tend to Joe. He told Garett to check on Joe, then stormed out of his locker room. Garett called for a doctor as Impact cut to break.
In-ring: Mr. Anderson's music played to kick off the main event segment. Anderson emerged through the Aces & Eights side-entrance as Taz heeled on Bully Ray for mooching off Hulk Hogan. Anderson slowly made his way through the crowd, then slowly entered the cage. Kurt Angle was introduced next and he quickly hit the cage to start the main event.
5 -- KURT ANGLE vs. MR. ANDERSON -- steel cage match
Anderson, wrestling in jeans, a black A&E vest, and white shirt, put the boots to Angle to quickly cut him off. Wes Brisco watched from outside the cage as Taz declined any knowledge of Samoa Joe being taken out backstage. Angle finally got some offense in with a knock-down clothesline, then he delivered a German suplex. Angle dropped the straps and teased Angle Slam, but Anderson blocked. Anderson then chucked Angle into one of the cage walls. Angle came back with a cage whip of his own, then hit Angle Slam for a close two count. The nearfall sent Impact to break at 3:45.
[Q8] [Commercial Break. Included was an ad for The Rock in "Snitch."]
Back from break 10 minutes before the top of the hour, the steel cage continued with Angle rocking Anderson with right hands. But, Anderson delivered a knock-down clothesline to cut off Angle. The two men then traded right hand bombs before Anderson yanked Angle down across the top rope. It was good for a two count. Tenay plugged Bellator up next as Anderson went back to work on Angle.
At 12:00, Anderson stumbled across the ring to catch his breath as Taz encouraged Anderson to take advantage of his opportunity. But, a winded Anderson couldn't make it over the top of the cage to escape. Angle then delivered a super-Angle Slam from the top turnbuckle to put an end to Anderson's escape attempt. On commentary, Taz heeled on Wes Brisco for having a big smile after Angle did something cool.
At 14:00, Anderson hit the Mic Check, but he was too winded to make a pin attempt. Instead, the two men recovered in opposite corners before Anderson tried to re-attack Angle, but Angle dropped him with a powerbomb into the Anklelock. Anderson had no choice but to tap out, giving Angle the win. "No!" Taz shouted after seeing A&E lose another match tonight.
WINNER: Angle via submission at 15:15. And, another A&E member loses a big spotlight match. Good cage match, overall.
Post-match: A masked Aces & Eights member climbed over the cage wall into the cage. Wes Brisco then entered the cage and locked the door. Wes stood behind Angle to have his back, then the masked A&E member removed his mask to reveal Garett Bischoff. Angle sold shock, then shouted at Wes if he knew about this. Angle went to attack Garett, but Wes chop-blocked him from behind to reveal he's A&E, too.
As Wes and Garrett put the boots to Angle, Taz said he loves when a plan comes together because the cage was a means to an end. Keneley said Angle was like a father-figure to these guys. Tenay said Angle went out of his way to help Wes Brisco, then Keneley asked how this could be happening when they had Angle's back against A&E for months. Taz said they get it and see where the power lies. The crowd chanted for Sting, apparently not realizing that Sting always leaves the arena early in TNA storylines. Garett delivered a final blow to Angle as Taz cackled on commentary and said Aces & Eights is still rolling.
HAIR NOTE: The key to Wes's heel turn is his hair. When he was hanging out with Kurt Angle, he pulled his long hair back into a knot. When he was a masked A&E member pre-revelation, his hair was hanging out beneath his mask. In this development, Wes made the visual transition from hair-in-a-knot to hair hanging down as part of revealing his alliance with A&E.
ANGLE REAX: TNA continues to take a quantity over quality approach to create a perception that Aces & Eights is a threat. It's the NWO C-Team, but without an NWO A or B-Team to lead the group. Meanwhile, Angle was booked like a typical TNA babyface looking like a dope for not seeing through Wes and Garett.
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