TNA Impact CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT RESULTS 1/3: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of live show - Sting casually returns, cage main event & unmasking (updated w/Box Score)
Jan 3, 2013 - 10:18:36 PM
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TNA Impact Box Score 1/3
- Title Implications: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries in a triple-threat match for the TNA World Title was announced for the Genesis PPV.
- Match Times: 33:43 total wrestling. (Longest - 13:10 for Knockouts tag. Shortest - 0:58 for Hernandez vs. Joey Ryan.)
- Match Results: (1) James Storm beat Kazarian (w/Christopher Daniels). ... (2) Christian York beat Kid Kash in an X Division tournament semi-final match. ... (3) TNA tag champion Hernandez (w/TNA tag champion Chavo Guerrero) beat Joey Ryan (w/Matt Morgan) via DQ. ... (4) Mickie James & Miss Tessmacher beat Knockouts champion Tara (w/Jessie) & Gail Kim. ... (5) Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe beat Aces & Eights (TV champion Devon & Mike Knox) in a steel cage match.
TNA Impact Report
January 3, 2013
Live in Orlando, Fla.
Episode #1 of 2013
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
Returning live for the first time in three weeks, TNA opened their first Impact of 2013 with a standard video package recapping recent events, specifically Austin Aries's TNA Title obsession, Hulk Hogan doubting Bully Ray, and Aces & Eights's attacks on the TNA roster. Tonight, Sting returns for vengeance.
Impact Zone: Todd Keneley introduced the show, then sent it to Jeremy Borash in the ring. Borash set up TNA's Wrestler of the Year award voting. JB introduced each of the five candidates, starting with Bully Ray, who emerged on-stage. James Storm was introduced next to stand next to Ray. After they showed respect to each other, JB introduced Austin Aries as the third candidate. Next out was Bobby Roode, who angrily compared threads with Aries to play up their heel feud.
And, finally, JB introduced Jeff Hardy as the Impact Zone fans roared. Hardy stared down each of the other four candidates before holding up his title belt in the air. Roode looked up and down Hardy, wanting the title, then JB was shown standing next to a trophy in the ring. Drumroll. JB announced the 2012 Wrestler of the Year as...pause for Aries and Roode to argue down the entrance ramp anticipating being named the winner...Jeff Hardy. On-stage, Hardy smiled as he watched Aries and Roode argue down the ramp. Ray and Storm congratulated Hardy, then disappeared to the back.
Hardy walked down the ramp and offered a few words to stunned Aries and Roode before taking a victory lap. In the ring, Hardy held up his personal title belt before surveying the crowd. "Happy New Year!" he shouted. Hardy said he's World champ, but this means just as much.
Suddenly, Roode interrupted. "Cut the crap! Are you kidding me?" he asked Hardy. Roode angrily asked whether "these people's votes" mean just as much to him as the World Title? Hardy said it's equal, but Roode cut him off and said the only thing that mattered to him was the World Title, not what the "morons" think of him. Roode said the fact that he is not Wrestler of the Year is a bunch of... Aries suddenly interrupted. Aries said this is obviously rigged because everyone knows that he averaged over four stars per PPV match and this year was Total Non-stop Aries.
Hardy had enough of this and booked a triple-threat match for the TNA Title at Genesis. Hardy told them to do him a favor while they're chewing on that and think of 2012 as the "Year of the Enigma." Hardy showed a higher level of starpower controlling that moment. Suddenly, Aries and Roode double-attacked Hardy. But, Hardy ducked a shot from Roode, who struck Aries. Hardy then nailed Twist of Fate before holding up his WOTY trophy. Hardy's music played and he left the ring with possession of his trophy.
Announcers: Keneley, Taz, and Tenay were shown on-camera to set up the show. Tonight, it's Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe vs. Devon & Masked Man in a steel cage. Plus, Hulk Hogan "returns." After a one-week absence, apparently it's a big deal? Hogan will confront Bully and Brooke Hogan, plus Sting "returns" for vengeance.
Backstage: James Storm was asked by the roving cameraman about not winning WOTY, then Kaz and Daniels interrupted. They mockingly interviewed each other, with Kaz playing the interviewer and Daniels doing Storm's voice and mannerisms. Storm had a big laugh to cut them off, then said just because he didn't win the World Title in 2012 doesn't mean he didn't do some ass-kicking. Storm told Daniels he'll kick his Twitter and put that on Kaz's Facebook, then offered some more social media-related puns. Storm told them to figure out which one wants to get his ass kicked, then stomped off. Kaz called after him that he forgot MySpace to wrap the segment.
[Commercial Break] [...Q2]
[...Q2] Impact returned with James Storm in the ring preparing for the first match of 2013. Daniels's music then played to bring out Daniels and Kaz to face Storm. Taz said he would like to see Daniels get his ass kicked, then Daniels whispered in Kaz's ear before removing his "ring general" jacket. However, Kaz snuck in the ring to attack Storm from behind, swerving the Cowboy on which member of Bad Intentions he was facing. Of course, this being TNA, the bell sounded despite an unfair start.
1 -- JAMES STORM vs. KAZARIAN (w/Christopher Daniels)
Storm quickly recovered and dumped Kaz to the outside, where Storm stalked Daniels. After Daniels ran away, Kaz blindsided Storm with a clothesline. Daniels then cheap-shotted Storm on the outside before Storm re-entered the ring. Keneley noted this is not supposed to be a handicap match, but it's turning into one. The announcers then focused on Daniels & Kaz trying to run A.J. Styles out of the company in 2012. Back in the ring, Storm hit Last Call, then climbed to the top rope for a big elbow drop, but Kaz escaped a pin attempt.
Daniels got involved again from the outside, which allowed Kaz to come back with a fireman's carry drop for a close two count. Kaz was slow to follow up, though, allowing Storm to drop him with the Closing Time codebreaker again. Storm wanted the Last Call superkick, but Daniels distracted him from the ring apron. Kaz then tried to come off the second rope with a high-flying move, but Storm intercepted him with a mid-air Last Call superkick. Storm covered for the win.
WINNER: Storm at 4:06. Good start to 2013 re-establishing Storm as a potential top face.
Still to come: Angle & Joe vs. Aces & Eights in the steel cage.
A&E Clubhouse: Devon told Mr. Anderson that they need an answer on whether he's in and out soon. Anderson, sitting next to two women on the couch, told Devon to calm down and keep having a good time while he decides. D.O.C. then barged in and demanded an answer from Anderson right now. Anderson soaked in D.O.C.'s tough talk, chewed his gum, and said they need to make sure Sting doesn't see an ounce of fear. He then picked up D.O.C.'s hammer and told him not to forget his little buddy. A&E members started to leave their HQ, which is apparently at the bar down the street from the tourist park, but Devon could not find his bat. No one else knew where his bat was, either.
[Q3] Backstage: Kenny King excitedly walked up to Kid Kash and said he remembers watching him on VHS. Kash ignored King's dig, then King talked up a potential Kash vs. King match in the X Division tournament finals at Genesis if they each win their semi-final matches this week and next week.
Video: Sting confronted Aces & Eights in 2012, took a beating that put him on the shelf, and now Sting is returning for vengeance.
Impact Zone: Aces & Eights's music played to bring out D.O.C. alone. Okay, the Clubhouse must be within the tourist park for him to get to the Impact Zone that quickly. In the ring, D.O.C. called out to Sting, asking where he is. D.O.C. had enough of playing nice and said this is "bulls---." He said he's tired of waiting around because Sting is wasting their time. D.O.C. declared himself "that man" who will cripple Sting once and for all. He offered Sting one last chance to get out here. Suddenly, a baseball bat dropped from the ceiling in front of D.O.C.'s feet. D.O.C. frantically shouted, "Come on, Sting, come on Sting," over and over before Impact abruptly cut to break with D.O.C. mid-sentence.
Back from break, no follow-up on D.O.C. in the Impact Zone. Instead, TNA went directly to the roving cameraman catching Brooke Hogan arriving at the building in the parking garage. Brooke dismissed questions about talking to Hulk tonight.
Impact Zone: Still no follow-up on D.O.C. standing in the ring calling out to Sting. Instead, the announcers plugged the X Division Title tournament. And, in the ring was Kid Kash. How do you not follow up on the previous segment that ended with a man mid-sentence calling out for the 1.3.13 return? In any event, Christian York was introduced for the next match.
2 -- CHRISTIAN YORK vs. KID KASH -- X Division #1 contender tournament semi-final match
Still no discussion from the announcers on how the previous segment ended. It's like it didn't even happen. As for the match, they quickly moved to the floor and exchanged offense. Back in the ring, Kash pounded York with forearm strikes to the face. Kash then shouted at the crowd before climbing to the second rope, where he missed with a high-flying attempt. York followed with a sweeping DDT for a two count. He followed with a slow-motion legsweep that Kash ducked. Kash then walked into Mood Swing from York for the pin and the win.
WINNER: York at 3:44 to advance to Genesis. York's timing just seems off in the ring; as if he's rehearsed all the spots and is afraid to miss a dance move, or is afraid that his opponent won't be in the right position for all of the moves he rehearsed.
[Q4] Backstage: TNA quickly cut to the back, where Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez talked up their feud with Matt Morgan and Joey Ryan. Chavo noted they're not scared of Ryan, nor his big man.
Impact Zone: Hernandez was introduced for the next match. For the first time on the show, TNA said Hernandez is facing Matt Morgan up next. Morgan then came out with Joey Ryan, but Morgan was wearing a sling. Morgan said he was looking forward to tossing around Hernandez all week, but he was injured tossing 700 pounds. Morgan said Joey Ryan is capable, though, so Joey will gladly face Hernandez before they meet again at Genesis. Joey was a bit reluctant, though.
3 -- JOEY RYAN (w/Matt Morgan) vs. TNA tag champion HERNANDEZ (w/TNA tag champion Chavo Guerrero)
Morgan quickly distracted Hernandez from the outside, prompting Hernandez to question the legitimacy of Morgan's injury. Morgan then snuck into the ring and attacked Hernandez from behind, causing a DQ. After the bell, Morgan took out Chavo and Hernandez with an emphatic Carbon Footprint. Morgan then stared into the camera and Tenay relayed that when Morgan stares into the camera, he's looking directly towards Impact GM Hulk Hogan.
WINNER: Hernandez via DQ at 0:58. Good save on not giving away a Matt Morgan singles match without advanced notice. If Morgan is going to be "the next big thing," like Hogan keeps saying on Twitter, then TNA has to protect his appearances to show the audience that he's a big deal, not just talk about it.
Backstage: Hulk Hogan was shown walking down the hallway. Hogan has things on his mind next.
Backstage: Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco were shown dressed in street clothes talking to Kurt Angle. "Hothead" Samoa Joe then yelled at Garett and Wes, but Angle calmed him down. Kurt told G&W to hang back and watch their cage match tonight since no one gets in or out. Angle then turned toward Joe and said he doesn't know where Sting is, then announced a New Year's Resolution to un-mask each A&E member in 2013. He vowed to follow through starting tonight.
Backstage: Gail Kim and Miss Tessmacher were shown warming up backstage. TNA cut to Jessie watching on a monitor before KO champion Tara got him to focus on her. TNA then cut to Mickie James also warming up, exciting Taz.
Video package: Bully Ray/Brooke Hogan/Hulk Hogan/Austin Aries drama over the past few months.
[Q5 -- second hour] Impact Zone: At the top of the second hour, Hulk Hogan's music played to bring out an upset Papa Hogan on-stage. Hulk marched down to the ring displaying a sad face that was apparently supposed to convey determination and focus. In the ring, Hogan took the mic and said it's time to cut through the crap and get down to business.
First, he wants to apologize everyone in the Impact Zone for not showing up last week. Hogan said he was upset when he saw Brooke and Bully making out in the parking lot two weeks ago, so he needed a week off. And, with Bully making this a public spectacle, he would like to bring this issue to the public. Hogan then called out Brooke and Bully to come down to the ring.
Bully and Brooke came out on-stage, looked at each other, then walked to the ring. Taz said this might get awkward. Once everyone was in the ring, Hogan said that for weeks - well, months and months - Bully has been asking for his respect, but at the end of the day, something didn't sit right with him. Hogan said there's a code in this business that there's a law, brother-of-the-road code that you tell people what's going on. Hogan said his question for Bully is "Why?" Pause. Silence in the Impact Zone.
Bully paced around the ring, looked at Brooke, then faced Hulk. He said Hulk is right that they are brothers and he should have come clean to Hulk. Bully said all the heat is on him. Hulk screamed that he's been trying to tell everyone in this locker room who Bully is - that he's no good - and when Ray breaks the code, he doesn't even belong in this business. Hulk said as far as he's concerned, if this were 20 years ago and if they were talking about a title belt, they would have battled already. Hulk said it's a different time now where they can talk lawyers, lawsuits, and general managers now. Hogan said Ray is suspended indefinitely and without pay. Brooke protested as Ray sold shock that Hulk is suspending him.
Hogan then addressed Brooke, telling her that she made her decision, so she has to live with it. Brooke sold with a jaw-on-the-floor reaction as Ray asked if he's serious. Ray then dramatically grabbed Brooke by the hand and pulled her out of the ring. Hogan's music then played as Ray asked Brooke what has gotten into her father. The camera followed Ray and Brooke to the back, then TNA cut back to the Impact Zone, where Hogan walked around the ring with his back to the hard camera. Impact abruptly cut to break.
[JC: There's a new contender for Worst Promo of the Week - John Cena dressing down Ziggler on Raw vs. Nonsensical Hogan Logic on Impact. Hulk just didn't make any sense talking about codes and rules of the road and title matches 20 years ago that have never been established to the general audience. This is the type of code-talk that drives away casual viewers.]
Moments Ago: Bully Ray tried to apologize to Hulk Hogan, but Hulk suspended Ray indefinitely. Still waiting for the "Moments Ago" recap of D.O.C. mid-sentence waiting for Sting when Impact suddenly cut to break.
OVW Training Video: Danny Davis talked about trying to run off Joseph Park, but Park keeps coming back seven days a week. Davis said he's impressed with Joseph, who then talked about dedicating himself to the craft. He talked about his tape-study and said it's no different than studying for college football or law school. The video transitioned to dramatic music as Davis brought in Joseph to his office to inform of his first opportunity.
[Q6] Impact Zone: Christy Hemme was standing by to introduce a Knockouts tag match. Out first was Gail Kim. Knockouts champion Tara, joined by Jessie, was out second for the heel duo. The face duo started with Mickie James, followed by Miss Tessmacher.
4 -- KO champion TARA (w/Jessie Godderz) & GAIL KIM vs. MICKIE JAMES & MISS TESSMACHER -- Taryn Terrell referee
The announcers noted this could have Knockouts Title implications for the person who wins the match if it's not Tara. Taz and Keneley then played nice, with Keneley self-deprecating that he's the Human-Cliche Machine, but Taz said Keneley is a fine person and a gentleman. A new year and another round of the games between Jessie on the outside and over-matched Knockouts referee Taryn in the ring. Impact cut to break with the heels in control.
Back from break, the heels were still in-control of this two-segment match. Gail eventually lost control on Mickie, which brought in Tara and Tessmacher with a hot tag. The former friends battled, then the action broke down. Tara re-took control for the heels, but she couldn't put away Tessmacher. Gail tried to put away Tessmacher, but she couldn't, either. Tara tried again, but Tessmacher escaped and hot-tagged Mickie. The action broke down again before Tessmacher splashed both Tara and Jessie on the outside. Back in the ring, Mickie measured Gail for her DDT finisher and connected for the win. After the match, TNA replayed high-points from the match before Mickie celebrated in the ring.
WINNERS: Mickie & Tessmacher at 13:10. It will be interesting to see the quarter-hour rating for this match given the entire sixth quarter-hour with ring intros.
[Q7] A&E Clubhouse: The masked spokesman led a discussion about what to do about Sting as Devon rocked back and forth nervously, having lost his bat, which was apparently dropped from the ceiling when D.O.C. was in the ring. Unless that segment never happened since there was never any follow-up or mention of it happening after it happened.
Up next: Angle & Joe vs. A&E in the steel cage main event.
Backstage: ODB talked about Aces & Eights doing a lot of damage. She said that includes taking out Eric Young, who is out of the hospital. ODB said EY will get revenge soon enough.
Impact Zone: TNA focused on the steel cage structure as it was being set up for the main event. Announcer Keneley then went back to the beginning of the show when Hardy booked himself in a World Title match against Roode and Aries at the Genesis PPV in January. Taz said he thinks it's a little ambitious of Hardy to put his title on the line in a three-way.
Backstage: Hulk Hogan was shown telling Aries and Roode that it's not a good idea to argue with him right now. They both complained about wanting a traditional singles match. Hogan told them it will be a triple-threat elimination match so they can stop complaining. But, each one didn't want the other in the match. Hogan told them to settle their issues next week when they team up against Hardy and anyone who Hardy wants to pick as his partner. Aries and Roode went back to arguing back and forth about not wanting the other as his partner.
Impact Zone: Christy Hemme introduced the main event as Aces & Eights's music played. Devon and Masked Man walked to the ring, surveyed the cage, and slowly entered inside. Samoa Joe's music then played to bring out Joe on-stage. After Joe stomped down to the ring intent on hurting someone, Kurt Angle's music played to bring out the final participant in the main event. But, before Angle could enter the cage, D.O.C. surprise-attacked him on the outside. Joe was left alone in the cage as D.O.C. locked the cage door. This being TNA, the bell sounded despite the uneven start.
5 -- SAMOA JOE & KURT ANGLE vs. ACES & EIGHTS (TV champion DEVON & MASKED MAN) -- steel cage match
In the cage, Joe fought for his life as he faced a two-on-one situation.
[Q8] After a minute of fighting off Devon and Masked Man, Joe found himself in a bad situation, but the A&E members accidentally collided, allowing Joe to regain control. Joe then tried to Face-wash Masked Man, but Devon cut him off with a forearm to the face. Devon & MM resumed their attack on Joe as Angle remained out of the picture. Joe tried to mount a comeback, but MM cut him off. Angle tried to find his way into the cage, but Devon kicked him in the face through the cage wall. Impact cut to break at 3:40.
Back from break at 7:40, Joe was jabbing Devon and MM, continuing to work at it alone. Angle then tried climbing the cage wall, but D.O.C. pulled him down, only to take a shot to the crotch from Angle. Angle was able to retrieve the key in the process and enter the cage to make the "hot entry" into the match. Angle rocked Devon and MM with blows before dropping MM with a dropkick from the second rope. Angle then tried to unmask MM, but Devon put an end to that business.
At 10:00, A&E regained control after weathering Angle's initial storm. Devon then missed with a top-rope splash on a bloody Angle, setting up the faces for a big comeback. Angle and Joe double-teamed MM before Angle dropped MM with a big Angle Slam center-ring. Angle pinned him for the win.
WINNERS: Angle & Joe at 11:45. More reinforcement of Aces & Eights as non-threats in the ring.
Post-match: Angle tried to unmask MM, but D.O.C. and Devon prevented that from happening. More A&E members then stormed the cage to fill up the ring with masked faux bikers. The announcers called this a destruction as TNA showed Mr. Anderson standing outside the cage watching the proceedings. The crowd picked up a "We Want Sting" chant, then Sting casually strolled to the ring with baseball bat in-hand and no music. This was his big return, apparently. Sting - dressed in a t-shirt and customary black pants with customary TNA make-up - jabbed A&E members with his bat as they weakly fed for Sting. A&E members then started to flee the cage before Sting chased D.O.C. out of the ring. No sign of Anderson during this.
Left alone in the ring was Masked Man from the main event. Joe then fed MM into Sting's bat before the face trio vowed to unmask MM. As the crowd cheered, the mask was removed, revealing "Mike Knox from the WWE," according to Tenay. Like, three years ago WWE. After Knox was unmasked, A&E members dragged him out of the ring to try to hide his identity. Tenay noted the masks are their power, and their power just took a blow. Angle, Joe, and Sting then stood tall in the ring celebrating the un-masking to close out the show.
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