TNA Impact Wrestling TV report
September 1, 2011
Taped 8/25 in Huntsville, Ala.
By Chris Evans, PWTorch contributor

Another Impact beginning with a talk segment. Seriously, does Impact ever begin with a backstage segment or...gasp...a wrestling match?

Hulk Hogan suggested that it was time to stop bowing down The Network. Hogan insisted that he was only getting in the ring when he was good and ready. This brought out Kurt Angle, holding the TNA Heavyweight Championship highly above his head.

Hogan said that Kurt needed to help “cut the cancer” out of TNA. Kurt could do that by destroying Sting tonight. Kurt made a Dr. Kevorkian reference, saying he would euthanize Sting tonight...I guess. Angle was interrupted by Sting, who accepted Angle’s challenge. So, Sting and Angle can make matches on their own, but Flair’s match needs to be cleared by The Network?

Hogan had enough and got in Sting’s face. Hogan said he “called the shots” and actually said Sting was “light in his loafers.” (What?) Hogan named himself the special enforcer and Sting simply walked away.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: Let’s play a game: How little can you get accomplished in 15 minutes. The segment did what it had to do: set up the main event, set up a challenge for Sting, and let the audience know that Hogan and Angle were hell-bent on eliminating Sting. The problem is, nothing scares Sting or makes him nervous anymore, so it doesn’t matter what they throw at him. This Sting nut job character needs to be more clearly defined. I believe his performance totally distances his character from an emotional connection with the viewers.

[Commercial Break]

Returning from break, TNA promoted their Coastal Chaos Cruise.

Taz, Matt Morgan, and Mike Tenay discussed Samoa Joe’s attack on Crimson last week. I liked this shot – the leg attack looked absolutely awesome. This was followed by a promo montage on the Top Four in the Bound for Glory Series. It’s simple touches like this that make the “sport” of wrestling seem important.

1 -- GUNNER vs. ROB VAN DAM -- BFG Series match

The wrestlers made their entrances and Matt Morgan is on commentary, which I really like for these matches. They’ve kept him incorporated without him being in the ring. Samoa Joe came out on the ramp right in the beginning of the match and Morgan got up to stop him while the match was going on. Morgan tried to stop Joe from going to the ring, but got a boot to the groin by Joe. Joe remained lurking around the ringside area. Gunner went for a suplex on the ropes that was reversed awkwardly by Van Dam. RVD then went on a flurry of offense including kicks and slams. RVD hit Rolling Thunder for a two count. Gunner came back with a clothesline.

And here comes Jerry Lynn. How many outsiders can they include in one match? RVD left the ring and told Lynn to leave the ringside area. RVD returned to the ring. Second awkward move of the match – RVD coming off the top rope with a single leg kick. Lynn came back down and pushed RVD off the top rope to allow Gunner to make the cover. Lynn had a huge grin on his face after the match.

WINNER: Gunner via pinfall.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: RVD and Jerry Lynn could be a good wrestling feud, although they need a better story than: “I was trying to help you by getting you DQ’d, and you didn’t appreciate it!” Good for Gunner. Here’s hoping he shows something. I wish RVD and Gunner could have gone for a solid 7-8 minutes.

Bischoff came out to address all of the Knockouts. (Is ODB allowed to drink on the job? Or is she excused because she "doesn't have a contract?") He said the Knockouts were talented, but they were just “women.” He started trashing them using stereotypical female jokes. Bischoff said he and Traci Brooks worked long and hard (tehe...get it?) to figure out how to deal with the Knockouts. Bischoff announced Karen Jarrett is going to be the new VP of The Knockouts. Traci Brooks had a meltdown.

Karen came out and said that the women have a long way to go, specifically in the etiquette department. (Why do female athletes whose jobs are to pummel each other for championships need to have etiquette?) Jarrett hired Traci Brooks as her personal assistant.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: I think Karen Jarrett did phenomenally in her role here. I think this storyline could be interesting if they formed pro-Karen and anti-Karen factions amongst the Knockouts. However, whenever divisions get “lumped” in storylines, it usually turns out poorly for that division in the end. (See: Nash vs. X-Division, Bischoff vs. X-Division.) I think TNA’s focus should be on further diversifying their female talent, making each unique and interesting, not lumping them together to be viewed as one entity. Just my thoughts, though.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Winter inviting Mickie James into the ring. James entered and starting brawling with Winter and Angelina. They awkwardly cut away without saying what happened during that brawl. Really weird.

2 -- BRIAN KENDRICK & JESSE SORENSEN vs. AUSTIN ARIES & KID KASH

On paper, this match could be awesome. Granted, I haven’t seen much from Sorensen. Kash and Kendrick had a nice exchange to start things off. Aries complained that Kendrick was grabbing Kash’s hair...hilarious. Sorensen was tagged in and was pummeled by Kash before Kash tagged out to Aries. (On side note, Aries vs. Angle would be amazing.) Sorensen avoided a double team and crawled over to Kendrick for a tag. Kendrick came in to little reaction. He hit a bunch of leg lariats on Aries and Kash before Aries regained control. All four got in the ring and they hit a sick-looking Tower of Doom from the top rope that made it seem like Aries was dead. Moments later, Aries hit a nasty flying tackle onto Sorensen. Kendrick then dove onto Kendrick and the two brawled to the stage. Kash hit Sorensen with a top rope clothesline. He looked to be in control, but Sorensen snuck a pin in and got the duke. Kash freaked out.

WINNERS: Sorensen & Kendrick when Sorensen pinned Kash.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: So much talent here. These guys could all be big players in TNA. The match did a lot to advance X Division feuds, especially Kash vs. Sorensen. Here’s hoping they are giving this program some effort. I like that Kendrick and Aries are being booked as equals, and Sorensen is being booked as lucky. However, like usual, it was too much in one segment to digest.

[Commercial Break]

TNA returned with a video of Winter and Angelina Love. They looked a bit silly drinking blood, or whatever it was. (What's with TNA's Knockouts having drinking habits? ODB with the booze in the ring and Angelina & Winter with blood?)

They hyped Jeff Hardy’s return to Impact next week. Why did they show Sting talking out of character to hype Hardy’s return? Imagine if they showed The Undertaker talking out of character on WWE TV. But, if Hardy tried to personally apologize to “crazy” Sting, that could be a fun segment.

Angle and Hogan then talked about Hardy’s return. Angle, somehow, didn’t know about it. Hogan and Angle vowed to destroy The Network as Angle comically slammed a cup of coffee down.

3 -- Knockouts champion WINTER vs. MICKIE JAMES -- Knockouts Title match

I'll admit it, I like Winter's theme. Mickie went right at Winter leading to some good wrestling early on with these two. Winter started out technical, and then when that didn’t work, she started biting. It shows a lot about her character. Angelina blatantly tried to give Winter the title to use as a weapon, so Hebner ejected her. Winter went back to work on Mickie with knees to the back. Mickie took control back with a single leg crab. Winter broke the hold, then Mickie went for a DDT, but Winter escaped. Mickie went for it again and scored a DDT, but Winter got a foot on the rope for a break on a pin attempt. Winter hit a sweet-looking enziguiri, but Mickie kicked out. (Announcers need to stop saying, “And that’s it. This match is over!” when it never is.) Moments later, Mickie got a side kick on Winter, scoring the win and the title.

WINNER: Mickie to capture the Knockouts Title.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: Well, that was a short title reign. What ever happened to non-title matches? Two very talented performers with a very weak storyline.

[Commercial Break]

They returned to a Christopher Daniels vignette. I really do like the jealousy angle they are playing up with Styles and Daniels. Is this also where they are going with Lynn and RVD?

Morgan came out, tore his shirt off, and grabbed the mic. Morgan called out Samoa Joe, calling Joe’s attack on him earlier, “suicidal.” I like Morgan’s intensity. And, here comes Joe. If they are smart, they should get security in between these two and prolong contact to make their match seem important. Let’s see...

...Nevermind. Here comes the brawl. Morgan and Joe exchanged shots with Morgan hitting a discus clothesline. Morgan slammed Joe with elbows in the corner of the ring. Morgan then charged at Joe with a knee and connected. Joe slid out of the ring and dragged Morgan out. Morgan kept up on offense, slamming Joe’s head into the guardrail. Morgan slammed Joe into the post. Joe got the upperhand by throwing Jackson James in front of Morgan. Joe cracked Morgan with a sick chair shot. He then delivered another one to Morgan’s shoulder. Officials came out to tend to Morgan.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: Okay, I take it back. I enjoyed that brawl for what it was. Joe’s post-match mini-promo was good, too. I don’t like that he had to shove Jackson James into Morgan’s away, as it makes Joe look a bit like a cowardly heel and not like a badass. If they are trying to get Joe over as a punk, I suppose they are succeeding.

[Commercial Break]

TNA returned to Robbie E. cutting in on Rob Terry’s workout. He asked Rob Terry to be his personal bouncer. Eric Young showed up and said he and Robbie E should have a TV Title match. Young confused Robbie E. with a cast member from the Jersey Shore or something. Of note, Eric Young has yet to defend TV Title in a ring since he won it. Thirty-day clause, anyone?

Styles and Daniels discussed their match backstage. Daniels thanked Styles again for giving him the match. Styles said this will to be the last match between the two.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: Robbie E. is entertaining and a good performer. And, lucky him, he may steal some of Zack Ryder’s thunder, since he and Ryder’s gimmicks are closely related. Eric Young is ridiculous. Why haven’t they stripped him of the title? I really wish they could give the TV Title to Joe. I think it would help him a lot more.

[Commercial Break]

Impact returned to a backstage segment with Hogan talking about the destruction of Sting. Abyss looked like a goof in the background, staring at the camera. He got the gang pepped up, except Abyss. A few people from Immortal questioned what was up with Abyss.

4 -- A.J. STYLES vs. DANIELS -- Final Showdown

Some video packages highlighting all of the battles the two have had throughout the years in TNA would have been great to highlight the importance of this so-called Last Match Ever. Coming in, I was hoping they would get a good 15-20 minutes. Styles went for a quick cover and the two had a stand off. Daniels looked to be getting frustrated early and Tenay pointed it out. Daniels went for a cool-looking pin attempt, but Styles quickly rebounded with a nice dropkick. Daniels regained control with a headlock. Styles took Daniels down and hit a knee drop for a close cover. Styles hit an extremely effective-looking suplex for a pin attempt. There was a very cool spot where both men attempted dives on the outside, only to have Styles hit a hurancanrana from the apron on Daniels.

Back in the ring, Styles locked on a submission, but Daniels made it to the ropes. (I like the story they are telling with Daniels not being able to build momentum in this match. If they are setting up for a heel turn, this would be the way to book it.) Daniels hit the STO and then a series of forearms and an enziguiri. Styles was quick to rebound with a springboard clothesline for a two-count.

Styles and Daniels exchanged chops, then Styles hit a Pele kick on Daniels, taking him down to the corner. Styles went for the reverse DDT off the rope, but Daniels anticipated. Daniels went for a moonsault, but Styles anticipated. They exchanged a few reversals as Tenay pointed out that these two know each other so well. Styles went for a top rope move, but slipped and Daniels scored the cover. After the match, Styles went to shake Daniels hand, but Daniels refused and continued his victory celebration before they abruptly cut away.

WINNER: Christopher Daniels via pinfall.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: It's unfortunate how quickly they fly through stuff on this show. Why not give this another ten or twenty seconds to let Tenay and Taz speculate as to why Daniels reacted the way he did? Maybe have Styles get on the microphone and say something like, “Hey, I gave you the match and you can’t even shake my hand?” Something! TNA needs to stop moving at warp speed. Other than that, I thought this was a great match with both men giving a nice effort and telling a good story. I liked how Daniels got the win on a fluke, but is still celebrating the win as if he defeated Styles outright. Interesting to see where TNA will go with this.

[Commercial Break]

The participants in the main event made their ring entrances before JB handled formal ring introductions.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: If TNA wanted to get rid of Sting, why not just jump him? Or make the stipulation that if Sting loses, he has to leave TNA forever? This is why I never liked these “corrupt people in power” storylines. If Hogan can make himself the enforcer, why can’t he change stipulations on matches? I don’t get it. Outside of that, I really like TNA making an effort to do official ring introductions for main events.

5 -- TNA World Hvt. champion KURT ANGLE vs. STING -- TNA World Title match -- Hulk Hogan ringside enforcer

Sting was able to frustrate Angle enough to make him powder out. Hogan give Angle a pep talk and he returned to the ring, only to be clotheslined again by Sting. Sting took the fight to the outside and tossed Angle in the barricade and steps. Sting went for a Stinger Splash, but Angle countered into a belly-to-belly suplex. That was awesome. Angle applied a rest hold. Sting powered out with a side suplex. Both men were down and the ref started the count, but they made it back up by seven. Sting started a flurry of offense including a boot and a DDT. He made the cover, but Angle kicked out.

Angle went for the trifecta of suplexes and succeeded, then went for a cover, but only got two. Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop for a great nearfall. Sting went for the Scorpion Deathlock, but Angle reversed it into the Anklelock. Sting pushed off. Sting went for another Death Drop, but Angle reversed it into an Angle Slam. Sting locked on the Deathlock, but Gunner ran down. The ref tried to stop Gunner, so he missed Angle tapping out. Sting also became distracted by Hogan, which allowed Angle to get the Angle Slam on a steel chair for the win. After the match, Immortal came down to beat on Sting, until Mr. Anderson showed up and cleared house.

WINNER: Angle via pinfall to retain the TNA World Title.

EVANS'S KEY POINTS: Sting can now cry sour grapes and say that he got Angle to tap. It looks like Sting is moving into a match with Flair next, which eventually lead to a match with Hogan. Last week, Angle demanded no one interfere in his match, but this week it’s okay? I don’t get it.

OVERALL SHOW KEY POINTS: TNA seems to be in too much of a rush. This was way too much to lump into two hours and yet...not enough. TNA sped through the A.J. Styles vs. Christopher Daniels post-match, sped through Kid Kash and Sorensen's feud, and sped through the Mickie James vs. Winter post-match. It forces viewers to turn their focus off as TNA bounces around from segment from segment, not getting attached to any character. This is solely on TNA, as they are not signifying that anything is overly important. They are reinforcing to viewers that each segment is of equal importance, and that is simply not the case.

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