By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
AUGUST 26, 2011
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.

[Q1]

-The show opened with the Kurt Angle-Crimson confrontation.

-As Mike Tenay introduced the show, Angle walked to the ring. Tenay said Angle has vowed to eliminate young wrestlers in TNA one by one. Taz said you don't want Angle on a mission and a hunt for you. Angle said last week Crimson called him out, so this week's calling Crimson out. Crimson came out. Crimson limped onto the stage. Angle said Crimson answering his call shows he has balls or else he's a complete a jackass. He said two months ago he was known as Red's Little Brother, and now he's a somebody thanks to him. He said he should get credit for that, but something tells him he wants to be more than that. He said he won't only end his undefeated streak, he will end his career. "That is the price you pay for disrespecting me," he said. Crimson said if Angle wants to take out every young guy on the roster, start with him. He said when the bell rings and he's still standing, he will earn his respect. They had staredown.

Immortal walked to the ring, including Brother Ray, Abyss, Scott Steiner, Gunner, Jeff Jarrett, and Karen. Ray asked Crimson if he was serious. "Do you know who you're talking to? This is Kurt Frickin' Angle," he said. Angle asked Ray to let him handle this himself. He told them, especially Jarrett, to stay out of his business or they'll have a problem. Angle said it's time to make Crimson famous. Angle dropped the mic and walked out of the ring. Jarrett's t-shirt, which he proudly showed off, said "Proudly Endorsed by Mexican America."

-Backstage Jackie and ODB approached Velvet Sky. Sky said she's got their back. Jackie said she could trust them. Jackie said she could drop her now because it's two of them against one of her. She then turned to the camera and said she could kick the cameraman's ass. ODB said nothing, groaned, and walked away when Sky asked if she was on board. Sky seemed apprehensive.

-They showed someone's boots walking backstage. [c]

[Q2]

-Tenay touted that the Aug. 16 episode of TNA Impact was the highest-rated ever in the U.K. and Ireland. This is a nice touch because any bragging rights help boost the brand image, plus it shows that Impact is an international product.

-Backstage we got Eric Bischoff seething and chewing out people backstage. He told Ric Flair he needs to help get rid of this problem. Hulk Hogan said he needs to help him get rid of this migraine headache. Hogan said he's not going to get into the ring with "that guy." They avoided saying Sting's name. Hogan said he's a nutcase who has become impervious to pain. Hogan said tonight he wants to put the kibosh on the whole thing by calling Sting to the ring to make everything right. He said he wants to put a bullet in all this craziness. Hogan told Flair not to say a word. The camera filmed this covertly through blinds on the office windows, but somehow picked up the sound perfectly.

1 -- VELVET SKY & JACKIE & ODB vs. ANGELINA LOVE & ROSITA & SARITA

Quick tags early among ODB, Jackie, and Sky against Rosita. Sky took Love down with a sideslam for a two count at 2:00. The other four brawled at ringside. Love gave Sky a backbreaker mid-ring, then invited Jackie and ODB to attack Sky. Instead, ODB and Jackie showed loyalty to Sky by double-suplexing Love and then putting Sky on top for the win. Tenay wondered what Bischoff thought of this since they were trying to improves him to earn TNA contracts.

WINNERS: Jackie & ODB & Sky in 3:00. [c]

2 -- JESSE SORRENSEN vs. KID KASH

Tenay noted Kash is ranked no. 3, Sorrensen no. 2, based on the wholly ridiculous methodology in last week's X Division Gauntlet match. Sorrensen winked at the camera on his way to the ring while wearing his high school football letter jacket. I assume those facts cement Kash as the obvious babyface in this match-up, right? Kash won by pulling on Sorrensen's trunks.

[Q3]

-Christy Hemme interviewed Kash at ringside. He said he taught the kid in the ring a lesson. He called him a prick and said just like his son, he'll put him over his knee and spank his ass. Sorrensen walked back to Kash and told him if he keeps running his mouth, he'll show him if he's a little boy inside the ring. Security came out. Sorrensen immediately tried to get to Kash as soon as security stepped between them.

-Tenay hyped a BFG Series tag with Immortal vs. Fortune, plus Angle vs. Crimson and The Pope vs. RVD. [c]

-Clips aired of the weekend BFG matches in Georgia with soundbites from Gunner, Robert Roode, and RVD.

3 -- ROB VAN DAM vs. "THE POPE" D'ANGELO DINERO - Bound for Glory Series Match

Matt Morgan joined Tenay and Taz on commentary. Tenay said they're one week away from determining the final four in the BFG Series. Morgan said whoever comes out of this tournament the winner will be as battle tested as a wrestler can be. RVD got in a series of his signature moves, then applied an abdominal stretch at 3:00. Pope hip-tossed RVD off of him and then DDT'd RVD for a two count. RVD came back with a jump reverse sidekick. RVD lifted Pope into a surfboard. He bridged Pope's shoulders back onto the mat for a two count, drawing a "wow" out of Morgan. Pope verbally submitted seconds later.

WINNER: RVD in 4:00 via submission.

[Q4]

-Afterward Samoa Joe attacked Pope and applied a leglock. Devon limped to the ring in a knee brace. He stopped at ringside where his kids implored him to make the save. Devon told his kids to shut up, then asked for their chair. He entered the ring with the chair. Joe jumped to the floor. [c]

-Backstage Robbie E. walked up to Rob Terry, saying he was looking everywhere for him. He said, "Little Robbie is here to save you, Big Robbie." He said his career hasn't gone well the last year, but he can help him. He told him to be his personal bouncer, putting those massive arms to good use. Terry said he wanted to think about it. Robbie said, "So I'll see you at the gym later, then."

-Gunner, Ray, and Steiner talked about their main event six man tag, yelling at the top of their lungs as they tried to get on the same page with their strategy.

-Sarita and Rosita walked up to Love backstage as she talked on the phone and attacked her. Winter made the save and viciously attacked them. Hernandez and Anarquia walked in and restored order.

-Hogan and Flair were shown backstage heading toward the entrance stage. Then they showed the mysterious boots walking backstage again. [c]

-Tara approached Bischoff backstage and snuggled next to him. Bischoff said he's been thinking a lot about her and her proposal is "growing on me, if you know what I mean." Gross. He said next week Impact will be in Huntsville and there will be a lot of expectations, so he can't think of a better place to make such a big announcement. Tara called him a genius. Bischoff said before he commits, there are a couple things he'd like to discuss tonight over "cock (pause) tails." Tara said it should be three cocktails.

[Q5]

-Hogan and Flair walked to the ring. Well, Flair strutted and Hogan wobbled. Hogan told Sting to come out and face the music. Sting's music played and out he came. Hogan said Sting is way over the edge and way too much and it has to end tonight. He told him to look in the mirror and see he's a complete wreck. He said he doesn't have any fries left in his happy meal, he can hear the marbles rattling around in his head. Hogan told Sting it's a family show and they can't have all this craziness going on. Hogan said maybe he's partially to blame because he and Bischoff made a few mistakes along the way, but they're human and they learn from their mistakes. He promised that he and Eric would run the company with the most impeccable precision he's ever seen. He said they will be a standard bearer in the industry for what a wrestling company should be. He said it's time to end the maddness.

Sting said yes on one condition. Hogan said yes, as long as they can put a bullet in this thing. Hogan said he would do anything at all. Sting said, "How about milk and cookies for all?" Hogan looked flabbergasted. Sting said balloons and rainbows and uniforms and puppy dogs all around. He then went into his gay voice and suggested flowers everywhere. He lisped and asked Hogan for a hug. Sting suggested they "hug it out." Sting hugged Hogan and kissed him on his cheek. Flair had enough and grabbed the mic. He called a stupid son of a bitch and said this isn't a game, he's out of control. Flair said he can deliver crazy better than Sting. "I was crazy while you still sucking your mother's (bleep)," Flair said. Hogan shook his head "no" in the background. Flair said he's so much crazier than Sting and he has the edge because he respects him too much to hurt him. When it comes time to go for the kill, Sting will ease up on him and he will kick his ass.

Sting imitated Flair running the ropes and strutting. He said he's finally found someone he can relate to who is as whacked out as he is. He said if Flair is telling him he has to go through him to get to Hogan, he'll do it, then he crazy-laughed. He said if Flair pointed the finger at him again, he'd bite it off. Sting said he needs to clean up the mess Hogan and Flair have created. Sting challenged Hogan to a match at Bound for Glory. "Don't get ahead of yourself, asshole," said Flair. Hogan threw a fit as Sting left the ring. Tenay said the Insane Icon wants the Dirtiest Player in the Game first, then Hogan at Bound for Glory. [c]

[Q6]

-A.J. Styles entered the ring and said he had an answer for Christopher Daniels, so come on out. Daniels walked out immediately. Tenay said Daniels wants one more match against Styles. Styles told Daniels he's not bad at him, but he was disappointed he put their business out there by telling Taz and Tenay he wanted one more match. He said if he wants to do this in public, let's end it right here, right now. Styles asked why he needs this rematch. "I don't understand it, Chris. Why? Right in front of God and everybody, I want to know why," he said. Daniels said Destination X was a great night for the X Division, but at the end of the night, he still lost. He said the next morning he asked himself if he still had what it takes to be in TNA. Styles said he absolutely does. Daniels said he told himself when he couldn't compete at a top level, he'd walk away. He asked himself that. He said he was scared because he didn't know the answer to that question, so he asked him that questions so he could find out. He said Styles kept blowing him off after everything they've been through together. He said he went through a table for him at Hardcore Justice. He said he hasn't asked him for much, but he needs to know if it's time for him to walk away from the only thing he was ever good at. He said he doesn't know what else he'd do if he had to walk away. He broke down and cried. He turned and leaned into his hands on the top rope. Styles thought for a few seconds, then asked Chris to look at him. He said one more time, not because he took a bullet for him, but because they're friends. Daniels said that's all he wanted. He said he'd see him at No Surrender. Styles said he'll be in the finals of the BFG Series at No Surrender, so he suggested next week. Daniels agreed to it. [c]

4 -- A.J. STYLES & BEER MONEY vs. SCOTT STEINER & GUNNER & BULLY RAY

After a couple minutes inside the ring, Steiner and Gunner brawled with Beer Money backstage. Styles and Ray continued to battle inside the ring. When Gunner returned, Styles turned to him. Steiner then returned and Styles blasted him. Ray recovered and gave Styles a Bubba Bomb for the win.

WINNERS: Ray & Steiner & Gunner in 6:00.

[Q7]

-They cut to the parking garage where Mr. Anderson showed up in a Hummer. Anderson ran to the ring. Gunner attacked him. Anderson knocked Gunner down and then shoved Steiner off the ring apron and through a table at ringside. Anderson wrapped his fist in a chain. Ray grabbed a chair at ringside and yelled at Anderson. Anderson hit Gunner with his chain-wrapped fist. Ray called him crazy as Anderson repeatedly punched Gunner. Gunner bled from the forehead. Anderson held KO'd Gunner and KO'd Steiner in his hands and stared down Ray, who retreated. [c]

-Mickie James cut a promo backstage about taking back her Knockouts Title next week in Huntsville from Winter.

-Eric Young had his street fight on the golf course with Scott Baio. Young jumped out of a tree and covered Baio and counted his own pin. More footage was advertised at the ImpactWrestling.com website.

[Q8]

5 -- KURT ANGLE vs. CRIMSON

At 2:00 they cut to a break after mostly tests of strength spots, with Angle ending up on offense. [c] Angle remained in control after the break. He settled into a side headlock. Crimson broke free and then collided with Angle. The ref nearly counted both men down. Crimson hit a suplex on Angle for a near fall. Then he hit a spear for a near fall. Angle came back with a kick to Crimson's knee and then a quick anklelock. Crimson broke free with a kick. Angle went fo ran Angleslam, but Crimson countered with a Sky High finisher for a very near fall. Samoa JOe then attacked Crimson. The ref called for the bell.

WINNER: No contest in 10:00.

-With Angle's blessing - after a brief tense staredown between them - Joe went for more against Crimson. When he lifted Crimson, Crimson broke free and punched Joe. Joe retreated.

-They went to Tenay and Taz at the announce desk to wrap up the show and plug next week. They hyped the Bischoff decision with Tara, plus Mickie challenging Winter, and Styles vs. Daniels, plus the announcement of the Final Four for the BFG Series.

-Crimson yelled backstage that Joe has no business sticking his nose in his business. Joe then attacked him and threw him viciously into the wall, then injured his ankle against metal stairs. Joe said he may not have broken Crimson's streak, but he just broke his leg. Jason Hervey, off camera, begged for Joe to back off, but Joe attacked the camera as the show went black.

We suggest these recent related articles...

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 9/30: Final hype for Bound for Glory, Ciampa also wrestles on Impact, Dollhouse vs. BP, more; Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 9/23: ECIII defends TNA Title, #1 contender match, Hardy "quits" servanthood, two more title matches, more; Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 9/16: Team TNA vs. Team GFW for control of TNA, new Knockouts champion, more; Overall Reax