TNA Impact CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 3/24: Who's the #1 contender? Anderson vs. RVD main event, Flair vs. Fortune, Abyss returns
Mar 24, 2011 - 11:28:04 PM
PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO BOOKMARK US & VISIT US DAILY
TNA Impact Results on Spike TV
March 24, 2011
Taped 3/15 in Orlando, Fla.
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
[Q1] Impact opened with some random video remix of Mr. Anderson cutting promos on everyone demanding his title shot from recent Impact episodes. All I could think of was Slap Chop.
Impact Zone: Mr. Anderson came out followed by some random man in his late 50s. In the ring, Anderson introduced the individual, Professor Schubeter from UWGB. Anderson pointed to a whiteboard conveniently assembled in the ring and made some college jokes before getting to the point that his math is more correct than Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan's. Anderson said he had a match with RVD last week and they pinned each other at the same time. So, two guys on the mat at the same time, 1-2-3. Anderson drew on the board and noted he never received his title re-match. Crickets. Anderson solved the silence problem by screaming, "I deserve my freakin' re-match!"
The professor confirmed Anderson's math, then started to leave, but Anderson brought Prof back to discuss a female classmate he had the hots for and perhaps the professor had as well. Anderson said he heard the prof told her he was gay. He said he has no problems with gay people, but that's not him. Anderson said it's all good now. They're all grown up, but he wants to live out a little fantasy. Naturally, this led to Anderson giving the professor the Mic Check. That was completely pointless.
Following that, Immortal's music interrupted, as expected. Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan slowly made their way to the ring where Anderson was standing over the professor. Bischoff said he can't see what Hogan sees in this "piece of garbage." Bischoff evaluated Anderson's character, jokes, and material. He wanted to know what The Network is going to think of this. Silence in the crowd for this "insider" promo. Bischoff told Anderson he's a bad example, so he handed it over to Hogan to make the call.
Hogan told Bischoff to slow down. He said he really digs Anderson's shenanigans with the professor. He said that was "spot-on entertainment." He said he doesn't like one thing: Anderson messing with his rules. Hogan gave the old "easy way" or the "hard way" speech to Anderson. The professor was still selling the Mic Check underneath the chalkboard during this. Poor guy. Hogan told Anderson there will be no title re-match unless he earns it. He said the only thing Anderson has is a re-match contract signed by Dixie Carter, which doesn't mean anything. Hogan had the proposal: Anderson beats Rob Van Dam tonight and he gets his title shot. Anderson shouted, "Rob Van Dam isn't even in my freakin' league."
RVD's music interrupted and RVD stomped out to the ring trying to sell some measure of anger with Anderson over that comment. Meanwhile, the professor magically began to stir underneath the chalkboard. They cut to break with RVD on the way to the ring.
[Q2] [Commercial Break - Brock Lesnar is coming to Ultimate Fighter.]
Back from break, RVD noted the pro wrestling script that when someone talks smack, the other person's music hits, and they address the smack talk. RVD asked Anderson if he has any funny words for him. Anderson said he'll tell him later on in the ring tonight. He told RVD this d-bag (Hogan) put them in a match together, so he'll save it for then. Hogan told Anderson if he loses, he'll be back in the sandbox playing with the dirty professor.
RVD was next to talk saying he questions signing with this company in the first place. He said he was burnt out on politics, then Russo called him, Dixie called him, and finally Hogan called him, which is when he started to listen. RVD asked if Hogan brought him in to TNA just to screw him over. RVD told Hogan to stop holding him back and let him be who he is. What does that even mean in the context of a wrestling show about wins and losses?
And next in line was TNA champ Sting. Sting stood on the entrance stage with a big smile. He said this is a good show. He said Bischoff and Hogan think they're buddy-buddy with The Network, but he also got a call from The Network that they want him as special enforcer for Anderson vs. RVD. And he's in control if anything gets out of control.
Reax: Yet another example of creative changes needed in TNA with this unproductive, eye-rolling, re-hashed "shoot promo within a shoot promo masquerading as a wrestling segment." The writing is just awful.
Tonight: Ric Flair has a challenge for his old stable, Fortune. ... They cut to the announcers for Mike Tenay and Taz to break down the #1 contender situation. They went back to the post-match where Bully Ray took A.J. Styles through a table off the stage, leading to the injury angle. Tenay said the word Styles is "out indefinitely."
Impact Zone: "Hardcore Country" brought out Mickie James for the opening match of the show. Tenay noted Mickie is so confident she can beat Madison Rayne for the Knockouts Title that she agreed to put her hair on the line. Backstage, Madison Rayne told Tara to destroy Mickie...or else. "Or else what?" Tara retorted. Madison told her to stop asking questions.
1 -- MICKIE JAMES vs. TARA
There was a spot where Tara hung Mickie upside down in the corner and sort of transitioned into a Styles Clash that she transitioned into a Boston Crab, but Mickie reached the bottom rope for a break. Mickie then came back with a spike DDT for the win. Tara didn't get the job done, which Taz noted. Post-match: Madison came out on-stage selling that she was upset with the proceedings.
WINNER: Mickie at 3:16. Slow build continues for Mickie vs. Madison at Lockdown. Fine. (*)
Backstage: The roving camera caught up with Anderson and Sting. Anderson said they don't like each other, but he doesn't like Sting taking - naw, stole - his TNA Title shot. Sting said The Network awarded him the title shot and that's all there is to it. Anderson asked who The Network is. He wants to know who that person out there in "The Network" is. Sting said there is no name, it's just The Network.
Last Week: Pope tortured poor Okato. ... Backstage: They cut to Samoa Joe talking to Okato about some strategy for tonight. Okada cut off Joe and said something in Japanese, then walked off. Joe just wiped his mouth and shrugged his shoulders.
Impact Zone: Okata came out sporting his mail delivery outfit and Lone Ranger mask selling nervousness facing Pope. Pope then made his way to the ring as Taz and Tenay did the tomato/tomatoe back-and-forth on Okata/Okado's name.
2 -- OKATA vs. "THE POPE" D'ANGELO DINERO
Okata took it to Pope before the bell, then missed with a top-rope missile dropkick that drew a sympathy "oooh" from the crowd. Pope then destroyed Okata inside the ring apron as referee Jackson James reprimanded him. Tenay noted it will be Pope vs. Joe inside the cage at Lockdown. Pope then dropped down and used brass knucks on Okata. Ref Jackson James let it slide for some reason, then decided to check Pope's hand and he DQ'ed him.
[Q4] Post-match: Some random music played in the background as Pope continued to assault Okata. The music stopped, then Pope dropped ref Jackson with a right hand blow. The crowd applauded since TNA has been building toward someone dropping Jackson James for months and they gave it all away with a heel popping the ref. Samoa Joe then stormed the ring to make the save for Okata. He demanded a doctor for poor Okata.
WINNER: Okata via DQ at 2:20. How did anyone think it would be a good idea for a heel, Pope, to randomly drop Jackson James after all that time building heat on Jackson to finally get his comeuppance for screwing over babyfaces with bad calls? The Joe-Pope angle is all off with no reason to feel sympathy for Okata since his character hasn't been established, he's on the show somewhat for the unintentional comedy he provides, and he was hired to record Pope without his consent way back at the beginning of this feud. (n/a)
Video package: Sting said had no desire to get into pro wrestling at all. They replayed the Victory Road PPV opening video focused on Sting's journey to TNA.
Video package: Kurt Angle said he told TNA it's either him or Jeff Jarrett, but he decided to do what's best for the company. Angle said he only gets to see his kids once a month and a lot of things have changed in his life, but now he savors every moment with his kids. He said he asked for the match with Jarrett at Lockdown because he wanted to get Jeff alone in the ring without Karen involved. Angle said he believes it will be the end of the feud because of what he plans to do to Jarrett in the cage. And there's the first logical segment of the show. Well-done hyping Angle vs. Jarrett at the PPV.
[Commercial Break - this Wednesday, Brock Lesnar debuts on TUF.]
Backstage: RVD walked into Hogan's office. Hogan said he heard everything RVD said out there. Well, he was standing right next to him. Hogan said RVD is 100 percent on the money that he's not the same Hulk Hogan who brought RVD into the company. He said he's been through a lot, but now that he got his act together, he wants to reaffirm RVD that he's his guy. "You're the guy," Hogan said. He said Eric sees something in this Mr. Anderson guy. Bischoff said the opposite in the opening segment, so that should have tipped off RVD that Hogan was lying. Hogan told RVD he wants to let him know he's pulling for him tonight. RVD wasn't so sure, then he walked off. Hogan smirked and laughed to himself. "Gawd, what an idiot," Hogan said.
[Q5 - Second Hour] Ric Flair's music hit to bring out Flair flanked by Bully Ray and Matt Hardy. "That - that - that - that! would be the correct response," Flair said. He said usually he likes to steal the show doing all the talking, but he's going to pass the mic off to two of the greatest tag team wrestlers of all-time. Matt Hardy, with his eyes half-open, said it's a tragedy to see guys in Fortune go down their same road. After some more of the classic "talk about the past" and "talk about politics" discussion that dominates TNA promos, Hardy said they're going to cut off Fortune at the legs. How? By winning matches?
Bully Ray was next to say he put Styles through a table because he can. More talk about "this business" before Ray said no one has been able to knock the big chip off his shoulder. Ray said he has an offer Fortune cannot refuse in a four-on-three at Lockdown. Fortune's music interrupted and a fight broke out in the ring. Flair ripped off some chops on Roode, then Roode returned fire with chops of his own. Flair went for the crotch grab, but Roode blocked and landed more chops leading to the Flair Flop.
Beer Money wanted the DWI, but some red lights flashed in the arena and Abyss slid into the ring sporting a giant black coat. The announcers noted Abyss hasn't been seen since he ate Janice in the back. Abyss cleaned house on Fortune, then stood tall in the ring soaking in his big return moment.
Backstage: Abyss walked the roving cameraman through his thoughts. He said Fortune thought they could take him out by burying Janice into his vertebrae, but whatever doesn't kill him makes him stronger. Abyss said he's coming to get Fortune.
[Q6] Announcers: Tenay and Taz talked on-camera about Abyss being back and in full-effect. Still to come tonight: RVD vs. Anderson with Sting as special enforcer.
Impact Zone: Hernandez's music interrupted and out came Hernandez along with his random associate. Sarita and Rosita came out alongside Hernandez and the random guy. In the ring, Hernandez introduced everyone to his associate. He said he's the newest citizen of "Mexican America." One by one, day by day, they are taking over. Sarita declared they are taking over the country. Hernandez said everyone will stop worshiping this (the U.S. flag dropped from the ceiling) and start worshiping this (a bigger Mexican flag dropped from the ceiling).
Hernandez then turned his attention to Matt Morgan. He said they challenged Morgan to a street fight last week. The other guy then asked Morgan if he's going to accept his challenge. Morgan's music hit and he came out on-stage seconded by Brother Devon. The announcers noted Hernandez's associate's name is Anarchia. Devon accepted the challenge and it was on.
3 -- MATT MORGAN & BROTHER DEVON vs. HERNANDEZ & ANARCHIA (w/Sarita and Rosita)
Devon cleared Anarchia to the outside, then Hernandez and Morgan fought in the ring with the giant flag still hanging above the ring. Morgan tossed Hernandez across the ring with an overhead suplex before delivering rapid-fire elbows in the corner. All four men were on the floor and the women tried to get involved. Suddenly, Velvet Sky came to ringside and a brawl broke out. They put the boots to Velvet. A match was going on here. The camera then swung around to show Angelina Love almost in a trance walking down to ringside. Suddenly, Winter appeared on-stage and screamed Angelina's name. The crowd was chanting Morgan's name in the background as the camera continued to focus on Winter leading a tranced Angelina. In the confusion, Anarchia dropped Devon with a weapon and casually rolled him over for the win. The heels backed away with the victory as Morgan tried to collect his emotions wanting a piece of Hernandez.
WINNERS: Hernandez & Anarchia at 3:41. A lot of moving parts there. Takeaway is Morgan still wants a piece of Hernandez and Angelina is being controlled by Winter. (n/a)
[Q7] Impact Zone: Ink, Inc. was randomly in the ring back from break. Scott Steiner's music hit to bring out Steiner along with the randomly returning Crimson. More tattoos than an MMA match in this one.
4 -- INK, INC. (SHANNON MOORE & JESSE NEAL) vs. SCOTT STEINER & CRIMSON
Neal still had the USC Trojan haircut here from the Victory Road PPV. Steiner lit him up with chops to the chest before delivering a belly-to-belly overhead release suplex. Crimson then tagged in and executed a sit-out suplex for a two count. Shannon then tagged in for Neal and took a shoulder tackle. Shannon made a comeback, then looked for Neal, who was selling on the floor. Shannon then found himself in Crimson's arms and Crimson delivered his Red Alert finisher for the decisive win.
Afterward, Neal showed some respect to the winners, then Shannon wiped Steiner's headdress across his butt and threw it at Steiner. Steiner naturally snapped on Shannon for messing with his coveted headdress. Steiner was held back by referees as Shannon told off Neal in the process.
WINNERS: Steiner & Crimson at 3:04.
Video package: They recapped the Anderson vs. RVD issues leading to their #1 contender match in the TV main event. ... Movie plug: Spike TV ran a lengthy sneak peek for the "Captain America" movie due out in July.
Impact Zone: RVD came out first for the #1 contender match. Mr. Anderson was out next and stopped on the stage to do his trademark mic drop promo routine. With everyone assembled in the ring, Sting's music hit to bring out the special guest enforcer for the match.
5 -- MR. ANDERSON vs. ROB VAN DAM -- #1 contender match -- TNA World Hvt. champion Sting ringside enforcer
Basic back and forth early on as Taz added a nice plotpoint that Sting has an opportunity to scout his potential Lockdown opponent by getting a closer look at the action. Ref Brian Hebner was bumped at 3:30, then Sting entered the ring to count a nearfall for RVD. Anderson scored a nearfall moments later. RVD built some momentum and delivered a split-legged moonsault for a nearfall. The action moved to the floor and RVD knocked Anderson around ringside with forearms. Anderson then raked RVD's eyes and slid a chair into the ring. Sting removed it and Anderson kicked RVD low with Sting distracted. On the floor, Anderson landed a version of the Mic Check into the ringpost.
Anderson slid back into the ring and demanded Sting make a ten count. Sting told Anderson he'll count him when he's ready to count him. That wasn't good enough for Anderson, who then landed a right hand blow. A brawl broke out and the bell sounded, apparently with the invisible double ringside enforcer throwing out the match. Tenay presumed Anderson is DQ'ed, which would mean RVD is the #1 contender. Ref Earl Hebner, security, and agents (with their seemingly weekly cameo) then came to ringside. Anderson and Sting were momentarily separated, then Tenay fed to commercial and they would sort it all out.
WINNER: RVD via DQ? at 6:36. It wasn't as bad as their Victory Road match. (*)
Announcers: Tenay and Taz recapped what happened at the end, which they assumed made RVD the #1 contender to Sting's title. Taz said that, at the end of the day, it seems like RVD is the #1 contender.
They fed to Reaction-style promos to close the show. RVD was apparently selling a concussion, as he couldn't figure out when his match was. Or what planet he was on. Elsewhere, Anderson complained about Sting dodging him. Sting then questioned who called for the bell in the main event. Anderson confronted him again and another brawl broke out before the agents got their second cameo of the night trying to separate them as the show ended.
We welcome your 0-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.
THE TORCH REACHES MORE COMBAT ENTERTAINMENT FANS THAN ANY OTHER SOURCE
PWTorch editor Wade Keller has covered pro wrestling full time since 1987 starting with the Pro Wrestling Torch print newsletter. PWTorch.com launched in 1999 and the PWTorch Apps launched in 2008.
He has conducted "Torch Talk" insider interviews with Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Steve Austin, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Eric Bischoff, Jesse Ventura, Lou Thesz, Jerry Lawler, Mick Foley, Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Bruno Sammartino, Goldberg, more.
He has interviewed big-name players in person incluiding Vince McMahon (at WWE Headquarters), Dana White (in Las Vegas), Eric Bischoff (at the first Nitro at Mall of America), Brock Lesnar (after his first UFC win).
He hosted the weekly Pro Wrestling Focus radio show on KFAN in the early 1990s and hosted the Ultimate Insiders DVD series distributed in retail stories internationally in the mid-2000s including interviews filmed in Los Angeles with Vince Russo & Ed Ferrara and Matt & Jeff Hardy. He currently hosts the most listened to pro wrestling audio show in the world, (the PWTorch Livecast, top ranked in iTunes)
REACHING 1 MILLION+ UNIQUE USERS PER MONTH
500 MILLION CLICKS & LISTENS PER YEAR
MILLIONS OF PWTORCH NEWSLETTERS SOLD
PWTorch offers a VIP membership for $10 a month (or less with an annual sub). It includes nearly 25 years worth of archives from our coverage of pro wrestling dating back to PWTorch Newsletters from the late-'80s filled with insider secrets from every era that are available to VIPers in digital PDF format and Keller's radio show from the early 1990s.
Also, new exclusive top-shelf content every day including a new VIP-exclusive weekly 16 page digital magazine-style (PC and iPad compatible) PDF newsletter packed with exclusive articles and news.
The following features come with a VIP membership which tens of thousands of fans worldwide have enjoyed for many years...
-New Digital PWTorch Newsletter every week
-3 New Digital PDF Back Issues from 5, 10, 20 years ago
-Over 60 new VIP Audio Shows each week
-Ad-free access to all PWTorch.com free articles
-VIP Forum access with daily interaction with PWTorch staff and well-informed fellow wrestling fans
-Tons of archived audio and text articles
-Decades of Torch Talk insider interviews in transcript and audio formats with big name stars. **SIGN UP FOR VIP ACCESS HERE**