TNA Impact KELLER'S TNA IMPACT RESULTS 12/9: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV episode
Dec 9, 2010 - 9:14:48 PM
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By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor
KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
DECEMBER 9, 2010
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
-A video package aired on the conclusion of TNA Final Resolution with new soundbites from Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson talking about the involvement of Eric Bischoff. Morgan said he is now pissed off.
-The title of the show is "Immortal Ups the Ante."
-They went right backstage to Eric Bischoff addressing Immortal reacting to Dixie Carter's latest maneuver. He said everything they've fought for is in legal limbo. He said they've been involved in a lot of lawsuits. "Between Ric (Flair) and I, we could probably teach a class," he said. He said anything can happen with judges and lawyers involved, so they need leverage and power, and they can increase their power and leverage by winning titles. He complained about A.J. Styles losing the TV Title, then said, "No more losers." He told Styles to sit. Styles did like a good boy. Rhino stepped up and asked Bischoff what happened to the contract he offered him a few weeks back. Bischoff wrote in blue marker on a piece of paper: "No!" Rhino said he promised him a contract and reminded him he has a family. Bischoff told him he shouldn't have lost to Rob Van Dam on Sunday, then. Rhino went after Bischoff. Other wrestlers pried Rhino off of Bischoff.
KELLER'S ANALYSIS: Good segment in several respects. They referenced what happened on PPV multiple times and really made it seem like match outcomes matter. Bischoff also focused on the value of title belts and chastised Styles for losing his title, making belts seem like the prime prize that brings power to those who hold them.
-They cut to the arena where Immortal came to the ring to new music for the group. Bischoff introduced Jeff Hardy. Hardy came out. Taz called him "the most bizarre, off-color champion in history." Bischoff said Hardy is the man to carry the banner for Immortal. The crowd chanted "Hardy sucks!" Bischoff demanded "Respect! Respect now!" He said Hardy can only remain great if he is challenged by greatness. He said he defended his title with such dignity, grace, professionalism, skill, athleticism, and determination. He said he beat a worthy opponent. He invited Matt Morgan to the ring.
Morgan walked out with a stick in hand. Or was it a rolled up poster? Bischoff gave Morgan his word he wouldn't mess with him because Dixie has lawyers all over them. He assured Morgan TNA would be fair from now on. Bischoff said he rewatched his title match over and over and he could have beat Hardy. He came close. He said the reason he did't beat Hardy was because he had a "horsesh--" referee in Ken Anderson. He said a referee who knew what he was doing could have led to him winning. He said he deserves "a shot," so after consulting with Flair, Hardy, and someone else who will remain nameless, he signed Morgan vs. Anderson with the winner getting a shot against Hardy. Taz said that's a pretty good deal. Tenay said it sounds like a road block to him.
Morgan said he just spoke with Anderson last night, and as of today, he's still not medically cleared to wrestle, so his "mental manipulation match" isn't happening. Bischoff said if he doesn't wrestle, he can go back to Green Bay and "freeze his ass of with the rest of the nobody's up there" and he's done because they don't need him. Bischoff said that's the way it is and the match will happen.
-They cut backstage to Mr. Anderson watching the segment on a monitor. Tenay said he had a decision to make and they'd find out tonight from him whether he'll accept the match.
-The TNA Impact opening aired. Then Tenay and Taz previewed the show including Douglas Williams defending the TV Title against Abyss, Tara singing, another Jeff Jarrett MMA challenge.
-Brother Ray said he is the star of the show and anyone could have been his tag team partner. He said tonight he'll prove it. He turned to another black guy who imitated Devon with an "Oh my brother, testify!" [c]
-Tenay said that due to passport issues beyond her control, Hamada couldn't defend her tag team titles with Taylor Wilde, therefore the TNA Knockout Tag Titles are vacant and a tournament would begin tonight to crown new champions.
1 -- BROTHER RAY & "BROTHER DEVON" vs. INK INC.
During ring intros, Ray made Devon walk about ten steps behind him. Ink Inc. brought chains to the ring, and those always sound like fingernails on a chalkboard with the mics. Ray told the New Devon what to do move-by-move. Taz said he's one of his green students. Neal hot-tagged in at 2:00 and went on a flurry against New Devon. Ray broke up the pin attempt by Neal, then tagged in and went on offense on Neal. The New Devon did the top rope diving headbutt on Neal between his legs. He then went into Original Devon's mannerisms. Ray told New Devon to get the tables. The crowd didn't chant along with him this time. New Devon slid in a table. Ray and Devon set it up, but Moore and Neal recovered in the mean time and speared Ray and New Devon. Moore then gave New Devon a Mooregasm off the top rope for the win. Ray looked around upset with the result.
WINNERS: Ink Inc. in 4:00.
-Afterward Ray attacked New Devon with a kick to the back of his head. He then put him through a table. Original Devon's new music played and ran to the ring. Ray bailed out and hid behind So Cal Val.
-Backstage Tara warmed up for her performance. Generation Me told her she's spectacular. She made them take off their jackets and began rubbing their chests. She ushered them toward the ring with a sly seductive look.
-They went to Morgan who was looking for Anderson backstage. Christy Hemme told him she hadn't seen him.
-Tara came out to sing her theme song. She was intentionally way off on the lip synching. GenMe danced next to her shirtless in jeans, also going for heel heat (or doing a tribute to Three Count). Mickie James could only take so much and she jumped Tara on the stage and brawled with her to the ring. Security broke them up. Mickie entered the ring and said they need to settle this in a cage. She said she can't wait for Genesis, so how about tonight?
-Backstage Robert Roode, with James Storm, told Gunner and Murphy to go out there "rough them up and send a message" so they know at Genesis the tag team titles are coming back home around their waists. Storm told Roode he needed more money from him as he already spent his money earlier on beer.
-Tenay plugged Douglas Williams's TV Title defense against Abyss coming up later. [c]
-Jeff Jarrett said since Sunday night he's received a massive show of support from his fanbase including his Twitter page. He said his fans are saying it's the biggest victory in his career. He said he's not sure about that, but he thinks it's the biggest win of his MMA career. He said he's going to give a fan a chance at some of his money later tonight.
KELLER REAX: Jarrett is playing this MMA thing for comedy effectively. His line about Sunday being the biggest win of his MMA career was funny and well-delivered. When he was talking about the outpouring of support from his fanbase, I thought he was going to spoof Matt Hardy "Internet Clique."
2 -- MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS vs. GUNNER & MURPHY
Gunner and Murphy arrived with night sticks. After the Guns entered the ring, Beer Money distracted them on the entrance stage. That gave Gunner and Murphy an opening to jump them before the bell. Beer Money joined Tenay and Taz on commentary. Storm asked: "What do you call a woman with only two front teeth? A bottle opener." He laughed at his own joke. Taz complimented Beer Money for hiring two goons like Gunner & Murphy to soften the Guns. Storm said the Guns are boys in a men's world holding their belts. He made fun of them for playing their game consoles or Nintendos. Gunner and Murphy were DQ'd for using a night stick. The Guns grabbed the sticks and used them to beat down the thugs. The Guns stared down Storm and Roode from the ring.
WINNERS: Machine Guns in 3:00.
-Backstage the mystery British lady wished Angelina Love luck. Velvet Sky asked who that is and why she doesn't know anything about her. Love said that's the lady only she sees but now she sees. She said she'd fill her win.
-They showed Sarita & Daffney on their way to the entrance stage. [c]
-Morgan found Anderson backstage and asked him what his thoughts were. Anderson said he's going wrestle. Morgan said, "What?!" He recounted Bischoff's antics before, including not caring about ordering people to wrestle with concussions. He said he turned his back on Immortal to stand up for him and left a lot of opportunity behind. Anderson said he appreciates that, but they're wrestlers and this is what they do. He said every now and then a wrestler is going to get a little owie on the back of his head. Morgan said a concussion is more serious. Morgan asked if he wants to wake up puking for the next 20 years. Anderson called Matt "Dr. Morgan," but he has a doctor who is going to clear him. Morgan called b.s. He said it's fake-ass bravado stuff that Hulk Hogan and Bischoff push. He said it's not 1945, it's 2010, and they know enough about concussions now to know better. He said Anderson is going to get himself hurt. Anderson asked if Morgan thinks he can hurt him. Morgan said, "Wow, Ken, wow." Then he walked away.
3 -- SARITA & DAFFNEY vs. ANGELINA LOVE & VELVET SKY -- TNA Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament
Taz declared, "Let the pigeons loose!" When Sky rubbed her crotch against the middle rope, Taz said he's never been so envious and he'd like to know where he can sign up to be a middle rope. Sarita said every time Sky gets in trouble, she runs back to Love. She butted her chest against her and said she can't do it alone. She asked when she would grow herself a set. Love tackled her to the mat to jump-start the match. At 3:00 both Daffney and Love tagged into the match. A minute later Love scored the clean pin.
WINNERS: Love & Sky in 4:00.
-Afterward Sarita said at the end of the day Sky still didn't beat her and she never will because she's a loser. Sky huffed and puffed and fumed. Tenay said Sarita got in Sky's head.
-They showed a casket being wheeled backstage. He said they'd find out what this was all about next. [c]
-A video package aired on the Tara-Mickie feud.
KELLER'S REAX: It's interesting that the Knockouts are getting so much TV time. It's as if the light went off within TNA that their top ratings draws deserve more significant TV time and actual mic time to develop feuds.
-A video package aired on Abyss beating The Pope in a casket match on Sunday.
-Back to the arena, the casket was wheeled to the ring as creepy haunted house music played. Then the casket lid opened and church gospel music played. It felt suddenly like "Sister Act" as six people - all black - danced to the casket at ringside. Pope then spoke up about how he's going to turn dark to light and begin helping people in need. He said something about kids only having one dad and encouraging people to help those less fortunate. He said a new era of The Pope will begin because "with Pope there is hope because Pope is pimpin." The line about being pimpin' just doesn't fit with anything else and just feels like a ripoff of Godfather yet it doesn't fit at all.
-Styles yelled at Abyss. He said Williams stole his belt and he wants it back. Abyss grabbed him and said he'd handle his own business.
-Tenay and Taz said the TV Title match was up next. [c]
-Mickie James talked backstage about facing Tara in their first cage match. There was a lot of background noise with Bischoff's voice. The lighting on Mickie wasn't flattering and the promo felt a little "acted."
4 -- DOUGLAS WILLIAMS vs. ABYSS -- TV Title Match
Williams did his head bob, which always makes my day. He proudly wore his newly won TV Title around his waist on his way to the ring. In the end, Abyss blocked a Rolling Chaos attempt and then tore the turnbuckle pad off the corner and attempted to crash into Williams. Williams moved and Abyss hit the exposed buckle. Williams then schoolboyed Abyss for the clean win.
WINNER: Williams in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Not a lot to the match. Has Abyss forgotten how to work a good match without weapons?
-Afterward Styles attacked Williams on the ramp. He gave Williams the Styles Clash on the stage. Styles then leaned over and trash-talked Williams for stealing his belt and his finishing move.
-They showed Jarrett warming up backstage. Tenay, with too straight of a face, called him a "mixed martial arts specialist." [c]
-A comedic commercial aired for TNA's merchandise website. Chris Sabin said the Christmas party was going great until Don West showed up. He stumbled into the screen wearing a Santa suit and falling face-first drunk into a big cake. Anderson said he's a real "asshole."
-A backstage promo aired with Tara saying there's no escape for Mickie. She said it'll be the beating of her life. GenMe said they were giving the dance performance of a lifetime, but then Mickie ruined it.
-Jarrett made his way to the ring in his MMA gear. The crowd chanted "You sold out!" Jarrett said they're wrong; he bought in. He said on Sunday the world found out he's the most feared athlete today. He said no one thought he had even the Submission Machine himself tapout, but he did. He said it's time for him to up the ante. He said he's in a giving mood and he's going to give someone in the Impact Zone an opportunity to make something of themselves. He said if any man, woman, or child can make him submit, he'd give them 100 thousand dollars. Taz said he wishes he brought his gi. One muscular fan volunteer. Jarrett said he's all gassed up and "GSP, Kopchick (sic), and guys like him are in fighting shape" and he'd blow up in 30 seconds.
Another fan volunteered, but Jarrett made fun of his beer gut and said he's drunk now. Jarrett hand-picked a guy in the crowd. The guy ran to the ring. Jarrett said ther'es an old saying "there isn't a horse that can't be road or a cowboy that can't be throwed." Borash asked the man if he is over 18. He excitedly said he is over 18 and ready win 100 Gs. Jarrett told the fan he is dead serious. Jarrett asked where he was wrong. He said Brooklyn, N.Y. Jarrett said this isn't a joke and he better take his hat and glasses off. Jarrett slapped the glasses off his face. He ordered the ref to ring the bell. Jarrett then beat the fan down with a barrage of knees and forearms and kicks. Then he applied a rear naked choke for the tapout win in less than a minute. Jarrett celebrated like he had just done something very special, as if he were a Carolina Panther scoring a touchdown.
-The camera focused on the cage as Tenay hyped the main event, but said first they're going to throw to a video package on the journey RVD has been on this year. He said fans constantly tell him he needs to get his belt back, which he never lost. He said he faces an obstacle, though, which he thinks is Eric Bischoff trying to slow him down. He said nothing can stop him from eventually getting what he never lost, which is the TNA World Hvt. Title.
5 -- MICKIE JAMES vs. TARA -- Cage Match
KELLER'S REAX: This began with eight minutes left, so plenty of time to register on the quarter hour ratings which will be more interesting than they've been in a long time since they finally put the Knockouts in the main event slot and built it up with promos and put it inside a cage. Normally a cage match with less than two hours notice would be subject to criticism from me for rushing things, but there's enough positives about this situation and how they built the match, I can live with it.
They fought in the cage for a few seconds and then cut to an early break. [c]
Okay, now there's just two minutes left in the second hour, so this rating won't be so telling after all since that's two commercial breaks in this segment. To pop a big rating, they needed to get the commercials out of the way. So much for TNA not interrupting matches in progress.
At 9:00 Tara met Mickie on the top rope and went for a powerbomb. They slipped and ended up with an awkward execution. Taz called it "ugly." Tara landed on her hip. Mickie landed on her back. That could have been way worse. Tara beat down Mickie for a minute and tried to escape through the cage, but Mickie stopped her. Tenay officially signed off Impact and they immediately began Reaction after just a split second of a black screen.
Taz said it's disturbing to see two women beat each other into steel like this. Mickie climbed to the top of the cage and his a Thesz Press on Tara for the clean win.
WINNER: Mickie in 14:00.
STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Some good intensity, but mixed results on the athleticism and big spots. Tough to rate this one as the novelty of a women's cage match did carry it a little bit.
-Afterward Tara sold being totally out of it. Mickie got up on one leg, unable to put pressure on one of her legs. Tenay said nothing stands in the way of Mickie achieving her goal of becoming TNA Knockouts Champion.
I will add more analysis to this show on Friday afternoon at my new blog, www.WadeKeller.com. Click there now and see this week's POWER LIST rankings of the hottest acts in pro wrestling over the past seven days in TNA and WWE along with other blogs, photo essays, and flashbacks on pro wrestling and MMA.
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