By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
OCTOBER 21, 2010
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

[Q1]

-The show opened with clips of the 218 major developments on last week's show with a primary focus on Jeff Hardy's heel turn. The show is titled: "Rob Van Damned!"

-Mr. Anderson made his way to the ring with his left arm in a sling as Mike Tenay and Tazz introduced the show. Tenay and Taz explained that the injury occurred in last week's main event when his arm was trapped in a steel chair.

-The crowd chanted "We are assholes!" as Anderson held the mic to begin talking. He called "Jethro" to "take his little testicles out of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff's purse, sack them babies up, put your mascara on, wrap those little panties around your arms, and get your ass to the ring right frickin' now." Instead, RVD's music played.

RVD entered the ring and told Anderson to get in line behind him in terms of getting at Hardy. Hardy appeared on the big screen and said, "Forgiveness is something that we all have in us, but so few are willing to give. The fact is we all do each other wrong. It's all messed up. It's human nature. The truth is I did all of you wrong." He said he beat Kenny at his best game and ordered RVD up for supper. He asked them to find it in their heart to forgive him. He laughed and bit his lower lip.

Eric Bischoff walked out onto the stage without any arm candy. He invited viewers to watch Reaction after Impact tonight where he'll explain how he orchestrated his takeover of TNA. He told Anderson he wants him to forgive him because he feels he didn't give him the opportunity he should have to become the TNA World Champion months ago when he saw potential in him. He didn't challenge him enough to reach his potential.

In obvious screw-up no. 1 of the promo, he said, "Again, I ask you to apologize." He meant "forgive me," not apologize. He said he's going to make it up to him by giving him a match with Kazarian. In screw-up no. 2, he said it won't just be a match, "it'll be an X Division match." That, of course, means nothing since there aren't separate rules or stips for X Division matches. He then clarified by saying there will be an X hanging above the ring, so he meant "Ultimate X" match. He said to show how fair he is, he won't have to beat Kaz, he just has to survive. He didn't really explain what that means. (For someone who wrote critically about typos by journalists in his book, that's a couple verbal typos in a few "paragraphs," not a good batting average.)

Bischoff turned to RVD. He said RVD is probably paranoid after what Abyss did to him. He said he does care about RVD, and everyone is burning up his emails and phone lines wanting to be part of "Immortal," the name for the new Bischoff/Hogan-led faction. He booked him in a tag match with Sabu against Beer Money. He told him to put any thoughts of anyone else sneak attacking him or turning on him out of his mind.

-The formal opening montage for Impact aired which now features Dixie Carter prominently twice. The "money mark puppeteers" are really stringing her along now. Impact can be renamed "Housewife of Orlando." Credit TNA for updating the opening in general, though, since so many cards have been reshuffled in this new post-Bound for Glory season.

-Tenay and Taz hyped the show: Sarita vs. Mickie James in Mickie's TNA in-ring TV debut, RVD & Sabu vs. Beer Money, and Anderson vs. Kazarian in an Ultimate X Match.

-They showed Robbie and Cookie arriving at the arena yapping about something or other. [c]

[Q2]

-RVD paced backstage and got in the face of wrestlers in the EV2 locker room including Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Stevie Richards, Raven, and Rhino. He shoved Rhino into a locker. Dreamer tried to talk sense into RVD.

-A narrated recap aired of JWoww's hunt for Cookie leading to a confrontation in the ring last week on Impact. Then outside the Impact Zone the roving cameraman approached Robbie and Cookie. Cookie told the cameraman to get a girlfriend and quit following them around.

1 -- AMAZING RED vs. ROBBIE E. (w/Cookie)

Amazing Red is back! What, he never left? When was his last TV match? Whatever happened to Don West being his manager? This began at 9:20 p.m. It ended at 9:21.

WINNER: Robbie E. in 1:00

WK REAX: WWE should consider hiring Amazing Red to be Rey Mysterio's masked protege and perhaps use them in the tag division and let Rey be a draw on the road without needing to work the full matches while setting up an heir for his spot. Red certainly deserves better than this.

-As Robbie E. cut a promo afterward. He vowed to do it to Jay Lethal next. "We're tan, we're hot, and, bro, you're not." Cookie finished: "Jersey's in the house, bitches." Taz said he loves that line.

-A clip aired of "The Pope in Harlem." He was getting a personal dance. He then looked at the camera and called out A.J. Styles. He said he wants to start at the top of Fortune and "fight this fight" by himself if necessary. "Let's fight. Let's just fight. Let's fight." He then turned to the dancer and told her to "work it." [c]

-A clip aired of Mick Foley at a book signing. He signed his book for a newborn baby. A clip aired of a Q&A session. Brian Kendrick asked a question. He talked about poets writing for the heavens. He asked if there was a deeper meaning about something he wrote or was it meant to exist in the abstract. The gathering laughed as Foley contemplated what he said. "This book works on so may damn levels," he said. "It might affect your ability to enjoy it if I were to give you your interpretation." He asked Foley to sign his book and make it out to "Spanky."

[Q3]

-Backstage Fortune talked about Kaz facing Mr. Anderson. He said if a one-legged man can't win as ass-kicking contest, how can a one-armed asshole win an Ultimate X match against him. They all laughed. Styles talked about what Pope said about wanting to fight. Styles asked if the "Globetrotter guys" are from Harlem. Styles said he'll put his TV Title on the line. Flair grabbed the belt and behind it was a Smirnoff Ice. Flair had to drink it. He strutted and chugged it. Everyone cheered, but Bischoff walked in and said he had news. He said in fairness to Pope, because he wants to run a fair regime, if Fortune interferes, he will strip Styles of the title and award it to Pope. Flair said, "Eric, we just bonded!" They asked when this "fair regime" thing started. Bischoff left and Flair tried to get everyone excited again.

-Elsewhere backstage The Beautiful People chatted with Miss Tessmacher as she said she would do anything to get their help. Velvet Sky said she can start by kissing her ass. Lacey Von Erich said she deserves a second chance. Everyone left except Angelina Love. Winter showed up behind her in the mirror and she said she's a great admirer of hers and waited a long time to meet her. Love shook her hand. When Sky walked back in, Love wanted to introduce her, but she disappeared. Sky said she must have an imaginary friend. Love seemed a little freaked out. [c]

WK REAX: We're up to 1 minute of wrestling in the first 40 minutes, but at least they're talking about matches later in the show quite a bit.

2 -- A.J. STYLES vs. "THE POPE" D'ANGELO DINERO -- Street Fight for the TV Title

This began at 8:42. Taz continued his slide into being a heel-sympathizer (albeit inconsistently applied) in defending Bischoff for wanting to create a "fair regime." They brawled on the stage before Styles entered the ring. Taz defended Styles against Tenay's implication that Styles needs his cohorts to win matches. Tenay denied that's what he was implying. Styles used a low-blow to gain the advantage at 2:00 as they first entered the ring.

[Q4]

Styles shoved Pope through the ropes to the floor. Styles went for a slingshot dive onto Pope at ringside, but Pope moved and Styles crashed to the floor at 4:00. Abyss attacked Pope from behind. Taz admitted this wasn't fair "and kinda stinks." Abyss gave Pope a Black Hole Slam. Styles smiled and spanked him as a thanks. Styles made the cover. The ref Earl Hebner made a slow reluctant three count and glared at Styles the whole time.

WINNER: Styles in 6:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

-Fortune stood on the stage and smiled at Styles as he celebrated. Bischoff was with them and looked concerned at first, but then broke into a wide smile and high-fived Fortune. "It's Mr. Fairness right there!" said Tenay sarcastically.

-They showed Sarita stretching backstage who said her debut on Impact won't be a winning effort. She said it's too bad they didn't put her against easier competition for her debut. She then went into a yoga pose. [c]

-They went backstage to Pope recovering from his beating. He bumped into Samoa Joe and asked him if he enjoyed the view from backstage as he got beat up. Joe told to adjust his tone or he'll face another beat down. Joe is great when he talks like that rather than yelling and promising to kill people. He said he's wrong to expect that he'd go to the effort to save him. "I got nobody's back," Joe said as he walked away. Pope said this is bigger than just he and Joe.

-Bischoff asked Hulk Hogan on the phone if he's watching this because "it's awesome." Flair joined Bischoff and they gloated about the execution of their plan.

-They went to Tenay and Taz. Tenay said Flair and Bischoff are so full of themselves. Taz asked what's up with Pope thinking Joe should get involved in his battles. Tenay said if they're going to succeed in TNA, they need to settle their differences.

-A video package aired on Team 3D's decision to retire. Ray said while they had thought about it for a while, Bound for Glory was the best place to announce it. Devon said they've accomplished all there is. Ray said Alexander the Great once cried when he stepped out of his castle and realized that he had accomplished everything and "there was no more land left to conquer." Ray said that's how they feel about the tag team landscape. He wondered what tag team title is left to win after 23 times.

Ray said Turning Point will be their last match. He said they have so much else going on in their lives such as their training school. He said Devon has a large family to spend time with. Ray said he has a career in the music industry he wants to pursue. He said the people can see one last match with Team 3D. He said it was easy to choose to finish their careers against the Motor City Machine Guns. He said even though they're not the no. 1 contenders, he believes they've earned the right to jump ahead in line and get one last shot.

-Elsewhere the roving cameraman asked Chris Sabin if he is accepting Team 3D's challenge. Meanwhile, Angelina Love nagged him. Then Generation Me showed up and threw a football at Sabin. They should have reenacted the Brett Favre YouTube video. GenMe accused the Guns of "hiding behind a girl." Sabin punched the blond one. Sky said, "Hide behind that!"

WK REAX: They're integrating more Reaction style footage into Impact, and it's a good fresh approach to featuring the talent. A whole hour of it is a bit much for most viewers, but getting it into the mix on Impact gives the show a fresh look.

[Q5]

-A video package aired on the Jeff Jarrett-Samoa Joe rivalry. Joe's bloody-faced promo aired saying Jarrett shot to the top of his list. Jarrett said he's regretted for the last seven days everything because it's spun completely out of control. "It didn't have to happen," he said. He rubbed his face and said he takes full responsibility and will go out there and apologize to Kurt Angle. He said he owes him more than that, but he's starting with that. [c]

-Jarrett walked out to his entrance music. The crowd chanted, "You sold out!" Jarrett said he came out there to apologize to Angle and humiliating him in front of the entire world. The crowd chanted, "Jarrett sucks!" They've been waiting years for permission to say that. Jarrett said if Angle was standing in front of him, he would tell him how much he deeply regrets his actions. The crowd chanted, "King of Nothing." Jarrett then said he'd say how much he regrets not kicking his ass worse than he did. He said just like many before and many more to come, "I made you and I broke you." He said the ironic thing is that in his kind, gracious heart, he's the one who gave Angle a job when "no one, and I mean no one, wanted him." He said he stripped Angle of everything including his dignity, pride, honor, and "your precious, precious, precious career." You thought he was going to say "wife," didn't you? Joe's music then played and Jarrett got wide-eyed.

Tenay told us Joe is "pissed" and seeking revenge against Jarrett. Oh, so that's what's happening. The heel security guards, Gunner and Murphy, stopped Joe. Jarrett then attacked Joe. They teamed up to handcuff Joe like he was a reporter asking aggressive questions of a candidate. Joe managed to wrap the handcuffs around Jarrett's neck briefly, but seconds later Jarrett threw Joe over the side of a ramp. Tenay asked Jarrett, "What the hell has gotten into you?!" He lectured Jarrett. He said Jarrett used to talk about the only way to succeed is to be a team, but now he's turned his back on everyone. Tenay made one of his faces. Jarrett put his hands on his hips and walked away as the crowd booed. Jarrett looked over the railing and they showed Joe 10-15 feet below in a heap. Jarrett smiled and looked up and said, "It looks like Joe needs a little help, doesn't it, guys?" [c]



-A recap aired of the Jarrett-Joe angle before the break with Tenay and Taz commenting on it. Taz asked Tenay if his yelling at Jarrett was "conduct unbecoming." Tenay said he had to get it off his chest.

WK REAX: I still can't figure out what Taz stands for. There just seems to be no consistency from segment to segment on how he'll react to something or someone, although he seems to be easing more to being heelish. I just want to get a sense of a constitution that guides his comments so they don't seem random. Some backhanded actions he compliments, others he condemns, and there seems to be no rhyme or reason.

3 -- ROB VAN DAM & SABU vs. BEER MONEY

We're 80 minutes in with about 7 minutes of wrestling. This began at 10:21 p.m. Taz said RVD and Sabu have tagged up for many years many times in the past. Taz wondered why Bischoff picked Sabu to team with RVD. Tenay said he must not be paying attention to Bischoff's career. Taz said it was a rhetorical question. Tenay said he lived it every day in WCW. Tenay accused Taz of being overly friendly to Bischoff and Hogan. Taz said he's always been friendly to them. By 3:00 Beer Money took control of Sabu. Tenay hyped that Mickie James's in-ring TNA debut was coming up along with an Ultimate X match. RVD hot-tagged in at 4:00. Sabu and RVD each hit back somersault splashes leading to a two count on Roode. They continued with double-team moves leading to Storm breaking up another pin attempt. Four-way action ensued. Sabu grabbed a chair and threw it at Storm, but Storm ducked and the chair hit RVD in the head. Roode made the cover and scored the pin. Taz said he can't remember the last time he saw those two miss that chair move. Tenay wondered if it was an accident or premeditated. Taz said he's not sure and he won't take a side.

WINNERS: Beer Money in 5:00.

-Afterward RVD shoved Sabu and accused him of being on Bischoff's side. Sabu and RVD squared of and were about to come to blows when the rest of EV2 ran to the ring and pulled them apart.

-Mickie James sat on a bucking bronco and said she was coming up next. She said she's a world class champion and she plans to beat a world class athlete in Sarita, "and that's no bull."

[Q7] [c]

-Bischoff told Kaz backstage that he came highly recommended by "the man" himself. He said Hogan has supreme confidence. Flair said Kaz is on the special path in life to greatness. Kaz said what Flair is to 60 minute matches, he is to Ultimate X matches.

4 -- SARITA vs. MICKIE JAMES

This began at 10:35. Taz and Tenay continued to bicker as they plugged the Bischoff explanation coming up in Reaction. Taz said Mickie has "John Nord boots." Tenay wondered where that came from. Taz said he was surprised he brought up John Nord during a Knockouts match. Mickie won with a Thesz Press off the top rope followed by a reverse sidekick.

WINNER: Mickie in 4:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Nice short match. Good chance for Mickie to show she is a Knockout who can wrestle and look tough doing it. Not everything was graceful, but at least it felt higher impact than most women's matches. Curious how this does in the Q7 ratings, although it's looking like it'll be offset somewhat by being a quarter with two commercial breaks.

-Afterward Tara attacked Mickie from behind, grabber her by her hair and trash-talekd her, shoved her to the mat, and then gave her the Widow's Peak. She pretended to kick dirt on her and then did some more trash-talking.

-They cut to Mr. Anderson who talked about his arm injury. He said there are only three things in life that are absolutely sure: death, taxes, and the fact that he is going to whoop the sh-- out of Jeff Hardy. They bleeped him. [c]

[Q8]

-They showed Mickie storming to Bischoff and Hogan's office. She said Tara is playing games with the wrong girl.

-As they showed Anderson heading toward the entrance tunnel, he was attacked by Fortune. They picked him up and dragged him to the stage where they stomped on his injured arm some more. They left him lying on the stage as Kaz made his ring entrance. Kaz mocked shock at Anderson's state.

5 -- KAZ vs. MR. ANDERSON -- Ultimate X Match

Kaz entered the ring and immediately moved across the cable and went for the big X. Anderson grabbed him by his leg and yanked him down and fought one-armed aggressively. Tenay called him gutsy. Taz said it was all heart. The crowd chanted "An-der-son!" Kaz slidekicked Anderson in the face as they cut to a break. [c]

Back from the break, Anderson again yanked Kaz away from his grip on the X by swinging him until he fell onto his back. Anderson tried to work his way one-armed across the ring, but when he tried to hang on with his weak arm, he immediately fell. Anderson continued to try to stop Kaz from grabbing the X even if he couldn't grab it himself. He gave Kaz a Mic Check, but Tenay said he can't seize that opening thanks to Fortune. Anderson looked under the ring for help. Taz wondered if there was a prosthetic arm under there. Good line. Anderson pulled out a ladder. Tenay explained how that would help. Taz said, "Thank you, Captain Obvious." Finally. Good line, Taz. Anderson climbed the ladder and pulled on the X. The rest of Fortune came out. Morgan gave Anderson a powerbomb. They kicked the ladder out of the ring, then Morgan put Kaz on his shoulders and walked him over to the X which he disconnected to win.

WINNER: Kaz in 9:00.

STAR RATING (**): Not designed to be a classic style match, but the story they wanted to tell was told well. They're building heat on the heels and putting the babyfaces in a sympathetic position while pushing them as valiantly fighting against impossible odds.

-Anderson returned to the ring with a pipe and cleared the ring of the celebrating Fortune. Hardy ran to the ring and hit Anderson from behind with a chair, hitting his back and the back of his head. Hardy stood and absorbed boos. His heel demeanor is convincing and effective. There are a lot of heartbroken Hardy fans out there looking at this version of him. They're going to have to watch Lifetime Movie Network to cope with this storyline.

-Bischoff joked with Flair about the headache Anderson now has. A camera was waiting for Flair and Bischoff in the SUV, which felt very choreographed. They need to do that a few times before they run a major angle around it. Anyway, they cut to Angle with a baseball bat. He threw the driver out of the SUV and tried to get at Flair and Bischoff, who locked the doors. Angle broke the back windshield with a bat. Security intervened and backed Angle down. Bischoff shouted for someone to get them out of there. Once Angle was a safe distance away, Flair and Bischoff got out of the car. Flair said they should call the cops and put Angle in jail. He complained about being covered in glass.

FINAL THOUGHTS: This is one of the first Impacts where start to finish they got the Impact Zone to react to each wrestler the way you'd want, with heels being booed and faces being cheered. It definitely feels like "a new season" for Impact the last two weeks. Not having Nash, Sting, or Hogan on the show and featuring Mickie James, Sarita, Anderson, Kaz, Styles, Pope, Beer Money, and Robbie E. in matches made the show and the overall product feel younger and fresher. There was still a dangerously low level of athleticism and in-ring competition in the first 90 minutes, but a couple well-hyped matches in the last 30 minutes totaling about 13 minutes helped offset that for those who stuck around until the end. I'm curious to see if Kaz in a TV main event can hold a rating, although it's not like Jarrett vs. Sting wasn't a ratings killer several months back so much of what draws has to do with the storyline leading up to it and promise of athleticism once it starts, and this had both pieces so it has a chance to actually do pretty well.

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