By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
AUGUST 26, 2010
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

[Q1]

-The show opened with a video package on the Fortune-EV2.0 angle. The show is titled "Hogan's Cavalry." How do they know what's about to happen on this show?

-Backstage Eric Bischoff pleaded with Dixie Carter to let him handle things. She said she appreciates her support, but she's made a decision and she feels strongly she needs to handle it herself.

-Dixie walked out to the ring. She now has her own entrance music. This show is morphing more and more into the "Dixie Carter Show," as even when she's not the centerpiece of an angle or on camera, everyone is talking about her (whether she knows it or not). The screen flashed her picture with her Twitter and Facebook accounts. It's like she's running for Class President.

-Dixie said since she's been president of TNA, some amazing things have happened, but they've also had challenging times. She said the challenging times makes the success that much sweeter. She said the hard times have made TNA stronger and more unified. She said those times have made them a family. She said the critics gave them eight weeks to succeed, and here they are eight years later having more success than ever before (unless you count the expanded payroll relative to decreasing ratings this year).

She said everyone has worked so hard to get to where they are today, so she made a vow back then that she would not let anything or anybody hurt this company and she intends to keep that promise. She then announced the firing of half of the front office, her booking team, and over half of the dozen top paid wrestlers over age 35. Sorry, my mind wondered there for a second... She then called Ric Flair to the ring. Taz said he doesn't respect or appreciate Flair's actions.

Flair entered the ring, said Dixie is drop-dead gorgeous, and they should settle their differences in a hotel bed like two adults. Dixie told Flair that when he came to TNA she was so excited and proud to have "The Naitch" as part of their family who was going to mentor the young guys and be a locker room leader. She said he's failed miserably at that the last few weeks. She said Eric and Hulk always said "Ric was always about Ric." She didn't want to believe them, but he's proved her wrong. She called his actions despicable, cowardly, and pathetic. She said she might admire his legendary status, she combines that with those actions and it gets him no favoritism. She said he has to be treated the same as every man and woman in the back. She then announced he was suspended the next 90 days without pay. The fans didn't react with cheers, as they see him as someone they pay to see.

Flair asked if Fortune were suspended, too. Dixie said it was just him. Flair said he and Fortune are one in the same. He called the Fortune wrestlers to the ring. He said, "This is TNA." He said they looked good and let out a whoo. Matt Morgan, Beer Money, Kaz, A.J. Styles, and Douglas Williams stood next to Flair. Flair said they're some of the finest wrestlers he's ever seen. Dixie said those wrestlers were with him building TNA long before he got there. She asked if that's his definition of mentoring, what he's turning them into. Dixie said they'll still be wrestling and doing great things, but he just won't be with them.

Flair lost his patience. He took off his jacket and said he's going to show her what Naitching is all about. Dixie's husband Serge charged into the ring. Fortune wrestlers tackled him and held him down. Flair demanded they drag Serge into the middle of the ring. Mike Tenay said that was over the top. Hulk Hogan walked out, followed by Kurt Angle, Mr. Anderson, Jeff Hardy, and The Pope. Tenay said, "Thank God for Hogan!" Flair warned Hogan not to get involved. Flair threatened to shove the Gold Medal up Angle's ass. Hogan entered the ring as Angle and Dixie helped Serge to the back. Hogan said he vowed to run the company 50/50 from the first day he walked in there. He said now that Dixie is up to her neck in crap, he's going to override what she said. He said it'd be too easy to put Flair on the shelf, so he's not suspended. He said if he wanted to piss him off, they did a real good job of that. He pointed at the wrestlers behind him and said, "This is the real TNA, Ric Flair."

Flair yelled back at Hogan, saying Fortune is taking over the company and on his terms when he's ready. "And it won't be tonight," he added. Hogan asked why not tonight. Flair said not tonight because he's not ready tonight. He said it'll be on his terms when he's ready to do it. Hogan challenged four of Flair's guys take on four of his guys. Hogan said he's running the company now, and that match has become official. Hogan threatened Flair with his belt. Hogan movements in the ring are really unsteady and rickety. A lot of wear and tear and abuse is catching up to him. EV2 ran out and jumped Fortune on the rampway. Taz said it's obviously payback. Tenay said all hell has broken lose as they cut to a break.

[Q2] [c]

-A commercial aired hyping Bound for Glory with the "Smashing Pumpkins" theme song.

-Tenay and Taz reacted to highlights of the brawls in the first segment.

-Backstage Kurt Angle gave Pope, Hardy, and Anderson a pep talk. He said the World Title that he's fought for before is important, but TNA as a company is bigger. "The opportunities that Dixie Carter, Eric Bischoff, and Hulk Hogan have given us is something we are indebted to her for." He said they need to fight Fortune and take back the keys and give them to Dixie Carter. (It really is fascinating if you watch the show with the idea in mind that everything is booked for an audience of one - Dixie Carter - and playing to what makes her tick, which is affirming she has done something wonderful with TNA, deserves gratitude, and... well, everything Angle just laid out as part of the angle.)

1 -- ORLANDO JORDAN vs. SAMOA JOE

On Jordan's way to the ring, he assaulted So Cal Val who made cartoon faces like a damsel in distress in a Godzilla movie. Joe attacked Jordan at the bell with a barrage of punches. Tenay said they've confirmed that Fortune were the ones in the ear of Abyss, the "They" he kept referring to. Jordan got in brief offense mid-match, but Joe dominated otherwise and finished him with a Muscle Buster.

WINNER: Joe in 3:00.

-Afterward Jeff Jarrett came out to his entrance music. Joe looked puzzled. [c]

[Q3]

-Jarrett told Joe he knew how good he was going to be once he saw him on the indy scene. (Actually, it took others who saw Joe's work in ROH for a few years to twist Jarrett's arm into taking a look at the guy, but again this is a message to Dixie that Jarrett has scouted and recognized great talents like Joe, and a message to Joe that he owes him his livlihood.) Jarrett said he's helped a lot of young guys in TNA. He said he's not asking for favors because Joe doesn't owe him any. He said he wants Joe in his corner when he takes on Kevin Nash later. (Ironically, Nash was one of the guys pitching Joe hard to TNA, but back to the fairly tale masked as a shoot.) Jarrett then said the "greatest fans in the world today" are the heart and soul of TNA. He said Nash and Sting are just pissed off because they're not the top dogs around TNA anymore. Jarrett asked Joe to take care of Sting if shows his face during his match later. "Deal or no deal?" asked Jarrett.

Joe told Jarrett that he doesn't choose sides because he doesn't have to. He said if there's one thing he needs to understand about him, it's that he plays for one team only. "My own," he said. Taz agreed with Joe on that. "Why get in the middle of something you don't need to get in the middle of," Taz said.

2 -- KEVIN NASH vs. JEFF JARRETT

Nash yanked Jarrett to ringside at the bell. He continued on offense in the ring with his corner offense including elbows and boots. He tried to use a chair. The ref took it. Nash ripped off the turnbuckle pad as the ref wasn't looking. Nash then set up Snake Eyes. Jarrett shoved Nash into the corner, then knocked him off his feet with punches. Jarrett leaped off the second rope with a forearm. Nash caught Jarrett by the throat on a second attempt off the second rope. Jarrett elbowed out of Nash's grip. Nash threw Jarrett hard into the exposed turnbuckle and then followed up with a chokeslam for a very near fall. Jarrett ducked a Nash clothesline and applied a sleeper. Nash backed Jarrett into the corner, but crushed the ref in the process. The ref went down hard as if he was shot. Jarrett rammed Nash's head into the buckle and then gave him The Stroke. The ref was still down, but Jarrett scored the visual fall. Sting entered the ring and hit Jarrett with the bat. The groggy ref rolled over and counted Nash's shoulders down.

WINNER: Nash in 4:00.

-Bischoff walked out and asked Sting if he was really going to act that way in front of millions, showing what kind of "pond scum" he's become and how far he's fallen. Bischoff said sometimes you have to feel the consequences of your choices. Hogan then hit Sting from behind with a chair. It's so hard to get behind a babyface who is acting in concert with Bischoff, because his character just never comes across as sympathetic or likable and he's never atoned for his past overtly heel actions.

[Q4] [c]

-Hogan told Tommy Dreamer backstage to back off of Fortune for the night - just tonight. Dreamer said that's a deal. Hogan gave him the assignment of putting Abyss on a table and hacking him up. He said he doesn't want to see him again. Dreamer said, "Done."

3 -- BEER MONEY vs. THE FBI (Guido Maritano & Tony Luke)

Taz said Beer Money are "arguably one of" the greatest tag teams in wrestling today. If Taz thinks that's a compliment, consider that he's "arguably one of" the greatest color commentators in wrestling today. In other words, he's not the best, and saying he's even just one of the best might be an arguable point. Afterward Beer Money hit Guido with a beer bottle, then Storm superkicked Tony. Storm punched away at Guido's cut on his forehead. Taz said Fortune is trying to eliminate numbers in EV2.

WINNERS: Beer Money in 2:00. Imagine how over Nexus would have been had they plucked out two of the smaller guys and had them job out to a heel tag team in a throwaway two minute TV match. [c]

-They went backstage to Mick Foley, who I'm sure is about to give a great promo we'll be talking about for years. Dreamer told his EV2 guys that he promised Hogan they'd concentrate on Abyss, not Fortune. He asked who wants Abyss's head delivered. Stevie said he'd deliver it. He shook intensely.

[Q5]

-The Beautiful People, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky, made their ring entrance. Love said she's made mistakes in her life. She said she felt when they went their separate ways, something felt like it was missing. She said she's sure Sky and the fans felt the same way. She said she may not always be a perfect angel, "and when I want to be, I can be a pretty mean bitch." She said she values their friendship and would like to forgive and forget and move on with their lives. Sky smiled and said there's no sense in rehashing the past, especially with Madison Rayne, "that monster we created," doing her thing. She suggested they can reunite and dominate the TNA Tag Team Division once again. The hugged and the fans cheered.

Rayne rode to the ring on the back of the motor cycle driven by the mysterious biker dressed in all black except for her cleavage. Rayne said Sky and Love will be getting letters from her lawyer for copyright infringement. She said they can never refer to themselves as The Beautiful People. "Look around you, right now," she said. She said she's the only beautiful person in the ring right now. "And I'm all natural, unlike you two silicone whores." She said they brought her to the Beautiful People because they needed youth, beauty, and class. She said they were at the end of the road before she made them a main event again. She told Sky that she is and has always been one thing and one thing only - "and that is my little bitch." Sky tackled Rayne. Tenay called that revisionist history. Love attacked the mystery biker lady. Security intervened and separated them.

-The Motor City Machine Guns talked backstage, celebrating their free Guitar Hero. Alex Shelley perks come to champions. Shelley said Generation Me are trying to follow in their footsteps, but there's only room for one high-flying tag team in TNA. They began playing "Green Day Guitar Hero," a TNA sponsor. [c]

-Brutus Magnus, Desmond Wolfe, and Chelsea went shopping at the mall for good clothes.

[Q6]

4 -- MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS vs. GENERATION ME

Tenay said nobody in wrestling has a tag division like TNA. Fast-paced start, then they downshifted for a few minutes. At 5:00 GenMe rallied with some double-team moves and scored near falls. They went into a wierd four-way sequent that felt a little lucha-choreographed. The Guns came out on top and scored the pin.

WINNER: The Guns in 6:00.

STAR RATING: ** [c]

-A commercial aired for UFC action figures by Jakks Pacific.

-A video package aired hyping the TNA house show experience. It's a nice commercial that does make you want to experience TNA live. The tag line is: "Live TNA: Where the Fans Come First." (There's all kinds of jokes there.)

-Ric Flair cut a raging promo backstage about making everyone pay in the main event. Sting walked up behind him and choked him with the baseball bat. Nash stood behind Sting with his arms crossed. Sting said he and Nash owe him a receipt. Flair made some cartoon faces.

-They cut to a seizure-inducing video on a new character named "Shore" who is "coming soon."

-They went to Tenay and Taz at the announce desk. They hyped No Surrender. Has there ever been less buzz for a PPV? Dreamer vs. Styles, London Brawling (Wolfe & Magnus) vs. The Gunns, Anderson vs. The Pope, and Angle vs. Hardy. You gotta love how seriously TNA portrays the tag division by giving a title shot to a new team on PPV without a single televised win on Impact or even a recap on Impact of their victory on Xplosion over Ink Inc.

-They cut to Stevie attacking Abyss backstage. Abyss made a comeback and was so mad at him, he threw a big clear plastic bag of trash full of paper cups at him. They brawled toward the production truck. Abyss told Stevie to tell all of the EV2 guys that what happened to RVD will happen to all of them.

[Q7] [c]

-Rhino entered the ring and yelled that Abyss should come fight him now. He was wearing the new "EV 2.0" t-shirts. They're black shirts with white print, believe it or not. Abyss made his way to the ring with Janice (the barbed wire two-by-four) in his hand. They brawled at ringside and up to the Spanish broadcast table. Rhino gave Abyss a Gore on the stage. Rhino limped afterward. Taz said it appeared to be a right leg injury. Abyss was left gasping on his side.

-Styles, surrounded by Fortune, cut a promo aimed off camera. Not sure whom he's talking to. This is like something ROH did back in the day where it's like there's this documentary crew filming a TV show that nobody sees and doesn't exist. I wasn't crazy about it then or now. I mean, it just distracts the viewer into wondering who A.J. is looking at or talking to. It seems TNA try to do things that seem cool and different, but don't really have any idea why they're doing most of it.

-Ring intros for the main event took place. Styles walked to the ring with a giant feather on his head from his robe. Taz laughed at him for that. Styles brushed it away half way down the ramp. That'd be a good bit to do every time he comes to the ring to get heel heat. It's not main event heat, but it's something to look forward to as a viewer. Anderson did his self-intro bit from the hanging mic on the stage. Tenay assured viewers they wouldn't miss a minute of the main event after the final break. This is closer to what Smackdown does where the main event intros are given some time and the main event after the final break gets some time, and collectively it eats up most of the last 30 minutes. It's a good approach because it gives the main event a sense of importance and not something shoved between several angles jammed into the last 30 minutes.

[Q8] [c]

5 -- A.J. STYLES & MATT MORGAN & KAZ & DOUGLAS WILLIAMS vs. MR. ANDERSON & JEFF HARDY & KURT ANGLE & THE POPE

They joined the match as the bell rang. Anderson took on Kaz at the start. Flair took a cheap shot at Hardy at ringside at 6:00. The ref tried to restore order when multiple wrestlers got involved. it worked for once. Williams scored a near fall on Hardy back in the ring. Taz said Fortune is a new group, but they should have more chemistry in this match than their opponents who are facing each other at No Surrender. Tenay said they'd be teaming against each other next week - Anderson & Pope vs. Angle & Hardy. Angle hot-tagged in and worked over Kaz with a German suplex and then an anklelock. Styles broke it up with a flying forearm off the top rope. All of the heels took turns taking bumps and big moves from the faces. Angle had Kaz down for a pin, but Pope tagged himself in and stole the pin. Angle took exception. Fortune attacked the faces before they got too deep into the intra-team dispute.

WINNERS: Angle & Pope & Hardy & Anderson in 8:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4

-EV2.0 joined in the brawl afterward Saby dove off the ring apron with a chair, crashing through Williams on a table. The show ended with a wild brawl among the three factions. They flowed right into Reaction with a continuation of that brawl.

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