TNA Impact KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 7/29: Tommy Dreamer announces new name for ECW faction, Hulk Hogan addresses situation
Jul 29, 2010 - 10:45:43 PM
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By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor
KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
JULY 29, 2010
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
-Mike Tenay said it's true, Dixie Carter won't let the legacy die, she has put Tommy Dreamer in charge of Hardcore Justice. Dreamer said, "Due to some legal complications with the alphabet with certain letters, we have decided, we got with our attorneys, so we came up with, like, a newer extreme version - so we're basically EV 2.0 - pretty basic, pretty simple." They cut to a crowd shot then jumped back to Dreamer. It sounded like an edit. He thanked Devon for coming back to the family. (When were all ECW wrestlers one happy family? I remember them trying to brutalize each other weekly on TV.) He said there's a certain angry man who isn't putting his differences aside. Devon called out Brother Ray.
Tenay said he is eager to hear Ray has to say to Devon. Ray walked out, not wearing a Team 3D t-shirt. Devon said in the ring is their family. "These are the guys who had our back since day one," he said, leaving out that they fought each other all the time. He asked, "Are you in or are you out?" Ray began to walk away. Dreamer said he's his best friend, so enough. "This is something bigger," he said. "This is your favorite rock band KISS getting the original band members getting back together, putting on the make-up, doing it one more time for the fans." The crowd chanted, "One more time." Mick Foley asked for the mic.
"Brother Ray, Brother Ray, Brother Ray, make no mistake about it, with you or without you, we're going to have one hell of a show," Foley said. "But in my humble hardcore opinion, the show is going to be this much better with your willing participation." He said he can almost guarantee that when he looks back on his career one day, skipping this show will be what he regrets more than anything. Taz stood up and told "Bubba" to listen to him. "Just do it, man," he said. "Just do it."
Bubba entered the ring. He walked up to Devon and said, "Just answer me one question. Are we going to light somebody on fire?" The crowd popped. Devon nodded and smiled. Then a chant of "EV 2.0" started, although it sounded edited again as if they jumped and spliced to get it. Ray then said, "What the hell. Sounds like a lot of fun. I'm in." Tenay credited Taz for closing the deal.
Hulk Hogan's music played and he walked out. Taz said never in his wildest dreams did he think he'd see Hogan stand in the ring with these guys back in the hardcore days in South Philadelphia. Hogan said it looks like the guys are going to ride again. "And thanks for doing it in TNA," he added. He said he wishes he would have known ahead of time because he would have had a few extra surprises for them. "But welcome to TNA. This is really cool, man." (Does Hogan endorsing ECW/EV2.0 mark the moment it lost whatever was left of what it stood for? I mean, back in South Philadelphia, those fans hated Hulkamania and everything it stood for.) Hogan said he agrees with Dixie that what he represented in the 1980s they represented in the 1990s. He said when they were tearing things apart in their territory, he was wearing a black beard doing his thing. He said he's excited to see it at Hardcore Justice because "nobody does it better than these guys." What do they do? Set people on fire? Who? Their fellow family members/band members?
Abyss stepped out with his board "Janice." He said "they are not happy" and are "downright pissed off." He said this extreme reunion was never a part of "their" plan and wasn't supposed to happen. He said there is one person they hold solely responsible, and it's not Dreamer or Foley or any of the ignorant sheep. Not even Hogan. He said "they" hold one person responsible - Dixie Carter. Hogan said he could care less (he meant he could NOT care less) what he thinks. He told him to find a comfortable couch in a psychologists office. He said Dreamer is a guest in their house and nothing will go down until Hardcore Justice. Abyss said "they" gave him strict orders to take Dreamer out. (Wait, didn't Abyss just say they don't hold Dreamer responsible, but rather hold Dixie responsible?) Dreamer interjected: "I would love to fight you. I would love to fight you tonight." Dreamer said if Hogan and Dixie allow it, he wants to do it for everybody.
-A commercial aired with the reworked title of "Hard Justice" into "Hardcore Justice: The Last Stand."
-Backstage Madison Rayne said to Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich that they shouldn't jeopardize what they've accomplished by breaking apart. She asked why they are fighting. Sky said it's because Rayne said she didn't need them, adding someone to the group without consulting them first, or her teaming with Sarita last week. Rayne said Sarita is facing Angelina Love later to earn a shot at her title, so it's hardly a close relationship. Sky said, "Some friend." Rayne said when her back-up came back last week, she invited them to join her but she declined. Sky said it's too late to apologize. Rayne said she won't beg, but she wants thing sback the way they were before. Sky said it'll take more than that. Rayne apologized over and over. Lacey joined in and asked for peace. Sky finally gave in and said, "Okay, truce." Tenay said it looks like the Beautiful People are on the same page again.
1 -- ANGELINA LOVE vs. SARITA -- No. 1 Contender Match for Knockouts Title
Tenay announced that Dreamer asked for his match against Abyss to be a weapons hardcore anything goes match. Taz acted shocked and said that's in his comfort zone. Tenay wondered if he thought that through. He said that opens the door for Abyss to use "Janice" legally. Taz said that wouldn't be good and he didn't think of that. The ref caught Sarita pulling on Love's tights when going for the pin at 2:00. She went for a back suplex, but Love flipped out of it and made a comeback. She speared Sarita and then gave her the "Botox Injection" kick to the chest for the win.
WINNER: Love in 3:00 to become no. 1 contender to Knockouts Title.
-Backstage Eric Young presented Orlando Jordan (take them both off the milk cartons) with some gimmick helmet. Jordan said he needs to get serious. He asked him if he was on something. Young said he's a little messed up on rum candy. He pointed at the camera and said millions are watching them and it's exciting. Jordan asked if he's mentally challenged. Young said he wouldn't challenge a mentalist to anything. He said he's not right right now, but he has a fool-proof plan. He said he's bringing back-up. As Young walked away, Jordan said, "Amazing. And they say I have problems." [c]
2 -- INK INC. (Jesse Neal & Shannon Moore) vs. ORLANDO JORDAN & ERIC YOUNG
Jordan came out first, but Young wasn't with him. Jordan offered Young a piece of gum that had been in his mouth. So Cal Val, overacting as usual, acted disgusted and then accepted it briefly and then spit it out. Taz said he threw up in his mouth. Why did So Cal Val accept it in her mouth even a little? What was she doing at ringside? Who is she at this point in TNA? Young then came out with a mannequin. Taz said Young has been acting odd lately on TNA Xplosion. Young held the mannequin on the ring apron as if it were another tag partner. The mannequin was wearing a pink boa and some sort of ruffled red underwear. Young threw it into the ring when Jordan tagged him. They argued. Ink Inc. attacked Jordan from behind. Ink Inc. then hit their Moregasm finisher for the win.
WINNER: Ink Inc. in 3:00. What do you say to something like that? [c]
-Ric Flair stood in the ring with Beer Money, Kazarian, and A.J. Styles. Flair said, "Do you smell that? It's called excitement in the air." He told Jay Lethal it's already established he's a wrestling God and genius, and in every contract he signs he has a rematch clause. He said he is getting his rematch next week against Lethal in a "street fight to the end" match with no rules. He said he is prepared to bleed and sweat and pay the price of a wrestling lifetime. He called him, "My smallest black brother." What does that even mean? Flair then welcomed Beer Money into Fortune. He said they are the real muscle in TNA. "And girls, after the matches, they're a handful, too."
Robert Roode shook Flair's hand and said it's an honor. He said it was only a matter of time before they joined Fortune. He said the greatest wrestling faction in the business today couldn't go long without the greatest tag team in the business today. He said tonight will be a huge night for fortune because they will beat the Motor City Machine Guns for the third time in a row in a steel cage, they will become the four-time TNA Tag Team Champions. Flair then talked about the new Global Champion, Styles. Kaz said what is standing before them is not somme silly gang of angry rookies (a dig at Nexus). "What we are is four seasoned vets who just happen to be the best at what they do in the entire TNA Galaxy (as opposed to WWE Universe). Styles said he couldn't have said it better himself. Styles said they are the best because Flair deserves the best. He said he is going to bring credibility to the Global Title in Canada, England, South America, India, or in the U.S. He said if you have a TV, you know what drives the sport. He said it's no longer the Global Title. "That doesn't draw ratings. Fortune draws ratings. Therefore this is the Television Title," he said. Styles said on every TV show and PPV he will honor the title, starting with Rob Terry. He said he's going to give him a rematch not for his crappy Global Title, "but for this TV Title." The camera then zoomed in on the word "Global" on the belt. It makes sense that Booker got to create it out of nothing and TNA began recognizing it, Styles should get to change it on a whim. He said he has to go through Kaz first. He asked dark haired women between 18-28 with a full sweater, join them at the hotel afterward because they're running all night. He let out repeated "whoos!"
As Tenay began plugging the rest of the show's matches, Kurt Angle's music interrupted. He stepped onto the stage in a suit. He told Styles that he's glad to hear he's going to honor that title. He said it's important to know he has to honor his commitment as well, which means climbing the ladder and eventually winning the TNA Title. He said unfortunately for Styles, he's next in line. [c]
3 -- THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS vs. BEER MONEY -- Third of Best of Seven Match Series for TNA Tag Team Titles (Beer Money leads 2-0)
The Guns climbed the cage to enter and snuck up behind Beer Money who were staring at the entrance set waiting for them to come out to their music. Roode's face was covered in blood in the opening minute. Beer Money took over offense quickly and isolated Shelley. At 4:00 Shelley made a comeback, ramming Roode's head into the cage on the top rope and then head scissoring him to the mat.
Sabin climbed to the top of the cage at 8:00 and hit both Roode and Storm with a crossbody block. The crowd chanted "TNA! TNA!" Taz said it was shades of "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka. Storm swung a beer bottle at Sabin, but Sabin moved and he hit Roode instead. Shelley then leaped off the top rope and splashed Storm for the win.
WINNERS: The Guns in 8:00 to make it 1-2 in the Best of Five series.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- It felt rushed. Not bad, but not what it could have been if positioned as more of a showcase on the show and given more time. [c]
-Mr. Anderson's music played, but instead out walked Matt Morgan, who's basically been a jobber lately. He's keeping a smile on his face and not selling it, though. When he entered the ring he reached up for a mic, but it wouldn't drop. Morgan yelled at him. Then he reached up again, using Anderson's mannerisms. The mic was finally lowered, but slowly. Morgan snatched it and began his promo. He then did more of a Val Venis impersonation than Anderson. He said he is nearly 8 feet tall, the DNA of TNA, the MVP of Spike TV, the Blueprint Matt Morgan. The real Mr. Anderson appeared on the stage. The mic dropped right away for him. He said, "Did you see how easy that was?" Anderson headed to the ring and Morgan said it's ironic that his calling card, the mic, left him in a pool of his own blood. Anderson said nothing. "You want to take out the big bad wolf, don't you, Kenny?" he asked. He offered to close his eyes and let him punch him in the jaw. "I'll give you the first one for free, but we all know you're too scared to do it, Kenny. Why don't you nut up and actually grow a pair? Don't let your fans down. Come on, one right in the kisser." Anderson instead punched him in the gut or perhaps a bit lower. Morgan dropped and groaned. Anderson punched Morgan several times in the face and then said he has a lot to say. Morgan reached up and choked Anderson, recovering completely for the Anderson attack. He then choked him with the mic cord. Jeff Hardy's music then played.
Hardy ran to the ring and made the save, stomping Morgan to the mat. Security ran out and tried to restrain Anderson from escalating the situation, but it opened up Morgan to punch Anderson. It looked suspicious how they held him for the punch. Hardy charged at security. Tenay said security was getting awfully physical. Taz said he recognized the security guards, Murphy or Gunner. Al Snow, D-Lo Brown, and Pat Kinney ran out and yelled at security. Tenay said they overstepped their bounds. Boy, those angles with security guards turning into part of the storyline always work so well in TNA's history. [c]
-Backstage Christy Hemme asked Hardy and Anderson what happened out there. Anderson said they've been training to be wrestlers for ten years but had to settle for being TNA security. Anderson said they made it to the big time because tonight they get to face them in the ring in a tag match. He told them to bring that seven foot goof with them.
4 -- KAZARIAN (w/A.J. Styles) vs. ROB TERRY
Styles distracted Terry at the start and spit at him. Kaz dropkicked Terry from behind. He threw some elbows, but Terry shoved him down, brushed off a follow up dropkick and then slammed him with his Freakbuster for the win (although it took two tries to get Kaz up). Taz said Terry didn't just beat a "ham and egger."
WINNER: Terry in 1:00. Well, that does a lot for the credibility of the Fortune faction and Flair's ability to assemble an impressive cast of champion-level wrestlers.
-A Hardcore Justice promo aired. It showed RVD, Dreamer, Sandman, Sabu, Foley, Stevie Richards, Raven, Jerry Lynn, and Rhino. "The fans still chant it... The legacy cannot be destroyed!" said the narrator.
5 -- MURPHY & GUNNER & MATT MORGAN vs. JEFF HARDY & MR. ANDERSON
Morgan opened against Hardy. Anderson insisted he start in place of Hardy. Morgan, then tagged out to Gunner. Gunner didn't like what he saw, so he tagged in Murphy. Tenay plugged that a big announcement from Eric Bischoff was up next. He said he was "reminding" us that was coming up; I must've missed the first mention of it earlier. At 3:00 Morgan walked away from the ring. Hardy won shortly thereafter with a Swanton.
WINNERS: Hardy & Anderson in 3:00.
-Christy chased down Hogan backstage and asked for a teaser of what the announcement is going to be. Hogan said fans are going to freak out when they hear what it is. Hogan said he had to go to New York for a meeting, but next week he'll react to what Bischoff is about to let everyone in on.
-Bischoff stood in the ring with the big breasted lady. Bischoff, with his signature smarmy smile, said, "I love each and every one of you, too." He said he was once told the end always hangs on the beginning. He asked everyone to take out a pen and write this down: August 12, 9 p.m. ET, "you're going to see something you've never seen before." He said Dixie Carter, "that beautiful woman right down there inspired me, motivated me." He said since the EV2.0 group was given a chance to give back to the fans, which he said was the right thing to do, so he and Hogan wanted to give back, too. Bischoff said he and Hogan talked to Spike TV executives and said they should raise things to a new level. He said the Spike TV executives agreed. He said he's giving the fans "Pay-per-view quality action right here on Impact." Uh, what do we usually get on Impact when we get cage matches between the Guns and Beer Money, or singles matches between top stars? What are those? What is a TV-quality action and what makes it different from "PPV-quality action"? Oh, nevermind.
Abyss interrupted. Tenay said he wanted more details. Abyss said "they" want him to make the PPV main event for that night. He said they've given him a blueprint and it involved "myself, a 15 foot ladder, RVD, and my girl Janice." He said, according to "their" blueprint, he's going to hang Janice 15 feet above the ring and he and RVD are going to have the most extreme match ever (not counting the ten most extreme matches ever between now and then on Impact and at Hardcore Justice). He said he's going to "rip the flesh off of RVD's ASS!" (Abyss always accentuates naught words.) Abyss asked Bischoff if he's going to make it happen or does he want the wrath of Janice. Bischoff gave in. He nervously said, "You got it, I'll make it happen." Abyss said he chose wisely. Abyss told Bischoff he is okay with him, but his girl Janice doesn't forget a few weeks ago "when you bitch-slapped me, so my girl Janice just asked me to show you just what a real bitch is." Bischoff begged off. RVD's music played as Bischoff shook with fear.
RVD ran out threw a chair at Abyss's head, qualifying as an unprotected chairshot. He stomped away at Abyss in the corner. The crowd chanted "RVD! RVD!" RVD held a chair in the air and then dropkicked the chair into Abyss's face. RVD dove at Abyss at ringside, but Abyss side-stepped him and threw him into the ring barrier. He made a move toward Dixie at ringside. She backed up several feet and shook her head in fear. Taz said he holds her responsible for the EV2.0 members being in TNA. The three TNA agents (Snow, D-Lo, Kinney) brought chairs to ringside and held him off with those. Snow grabbed Janice. Dreamer's ring entrance took place. Snow handed him Janice. Tenay said it's legal in this match. [c]
6 -- TOMMY DREAMER vs. ABYSS
Dreamer hit Abyss with a trash can lid. Abyss dropped Dreamer crotch-first over the ringside barrier. Tenay hyped that next week they hoped for more details on so many developments on this show. In the ring Abyss side slammed Dreamer through two trash cans. Next came a shot with a cookie sheet. Abyss bashed Dreamer with a cane. Tenay plugged match four in the Guns-Beer Money series. At 3:00 he threw Dreamer's head into a chair wedged in the corner. Dreamer made a comeback by knocking Abyss off balance in the corner. He made his signature Tommy Dreamer comeback, brushing off several minutes of a brutal beating to be instantly 100 percent. He hung Abyss upside down in the corner and bashed him between the legs with a kendo stick. He then slidekicked a trash can into Abyss's head as he continued to hang upside down. Before charging at Abyss he yelled "E-V-2!" The crowd chanted "E-C-W." Dreamer pulled a barbed wire covered tabletop-sized board out from under the ring. He bashed Abyss with another cane shot, then set up the barbed wire in the ring. Taz said this match is in Dreamer's comfort zone. Abyss, though, recovered and kicked Dreamer in the legs. He set up a Black Hole Slam, but Dreamer escaped. Abyss came right back with a clothesline. Abyss chokeslammed Dreamer on the barbed wire table and scored the clean pin. Tenay said it was "a courageous, valiant effort from the Innovator of Violence, Tommy Dreamer."
WINNER: Abyss in 5:00.
STAR RATING: *
-Afterward Abyss grabbed Janice. Raven, though, ran out. Tenay said he is Dreamer's former rival. Raven held off Janice with a chair, but then turned and attacked Dreamer. He DDT'd Dreamer onto a chair. Tenay said, "What the hell?" Raven licked Dreamer's face twice and trash-talked him as the show ended with him posing mid-ring. Finally, instead of everyone in ECW pretending they were always one happy family, we have Raven who was silently listening to Dreamer the last two weeks, set up an actual ECW vs. ECW match for Hardcore Justice.
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