By Sean Radican, Torch columnist

RADICAN’S JCW REVIEW SERIES
‘JCW’S BACK BITCH!”
JAN. 23, 2015
PONTIAC, MICH.

Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope, and Kevin Gill introduced the show on commentary. They’re doing commentary over house mics, so everyone can hear them during the show. Shaggy announced that from now on Violent J would be part of the commentary, but he’s still JCW commissioner. The fans started a big chant for Violent J. Shaggy also said they would do commentary over the PA system so that everyone could hear them. Violent J said Sugar Slam was the new ring announcer.

Sugar Slam came out to introduce the first match. Violent J said, “I hit that s—t” every night when she came out. Sugar Slam teased leaving, but stayed in the ring.

The venue is small, but packed with good lightning. Kevin Gill said Mercer was “A little bit from the Triple H column and a little bit from the Undertaker column” with his ring attire. Violent J chimed in and said perhaps he was also 1/3 The Terminator with his ring attire. Zach Gowen was out next to a good reaction from the fans. Violent J called him a JCW living legend.

It looks like the ref has a camera strapped to his chest and we were treated to an up-close view of him checking Gowen’s boot. Violent J said the ref was wearing a bra in reference to the camera strapped to his chest.

(1) Zach Gowen vs. Shane Mercer. They went to a shot of the ref cam as Mercer picked up Gowen and tossed him across the ring. Gowen fired back and hit a step-up arm drag and Mercer bailed to the floor, but Gowen caught him with a slingshot dive to the floor. The fans fired up at ringside as Gowen tossed Mercer back into the ring. Gowen went for a sunset flip, but Mercer rolled through and hit a huge belly-to-belly suplex on Gowen a short time later. Mercer hit a one-arm guerilla press on Mercer, which was impressive. Gill commented on Mercer’s jeans and Violent J said, “Only KG has seen Mercer without those jeans.” Mercer went up top, but Gowen got his boot up. Gowen mounted a comeback and hit a leg drop off the turnbuckles onto Mercer, who was draped over the ropes. Gowen hit an impressive tornado DDT, but Mercer kicked out at the last second. Gowen went up top, but Mercer got him on top of his shoulders and dropped him down into a huge German. Mercer and Gowen battled up top. Gowen fought Mercer off and eventually ducked a charge into the corner. He went up top and nailed Mercer with a moonsault. Mercer sat up to kick out with Gowen in his arms. He then climbed the turnbuckles and hit a moonsault while holding Gowen for the win. Holy s---t!

Winner: Shane Mercer

Star rating: (***1/4) – This was a fun opening match. The commentators had some funny lines about Mercer’s tight jeans, but it was Gowen making Mercer look good selling his power moves. The finishing sequence was insane.

(2) War Child vs. The Weedman. Weedman blew smoke into War Child’s face before the match began. War Child took off his hood and revealed painted face and he spit red liquid down his chest. Weedman blew more smoke into his face again. War Child took the blunt from Weedman and ate it. Holy s—t!. War Child quickly got the upper hand and put a beating on Weedman on the outside. Weedman fired back inside the ring, but couldn’t hurt War Child. Weedman eventually ducked a charge in the corner and hit a big clothesline followed by a standing moonsault for a 2 count. Weedman’s shirt says “Eat, Smoke, Conquer Tony,” which is in reference to Weedman getting a title shot on Juggalo Day. War Child quickly fired back and sent Weedman to the floor.

“I don’t know if he’s ever faced someone like War Child before” – KG as Weedman was taking a beating.

War Child continued to put a beating on Weedman and hung him upside down in the corner before going to the floor to choke him. The fans taunted War Child as he stalked around ringside before getting back into the ring. Weedman mounted another comeback with several forearms, but War Child got up on the turnbuckles and caught him with a big spear. He made the cover, but Weedman kicked out at the last second. War Child went up top for a splash, but Weedman got out of the way. Weedman hit a series of kicks capped by a big running kick to the head for a near fall. Weedman dragged War Child into the corner, but he popped up and tossed him off the turnbuckles and the fans booed. Weedman fired back with another series of kicks capped by a superkick for the win.

War Child popped right up after getting pinned and went after the ref, who ran backstage. Weedman sold the beating he had taken in the ring. Weedman finally got to his feet and KG went to the ring to do an interview. KG said Weedman would have his first ever shot at the JCW World Hvt. Championship held by 2 Tuff Tony. Weedman cut KG off and told him he’s had enough of his act. Weedman then heeled on a couple of fans heckling him. He said for the real JCW fans, he gets his first title shot next month. He said he had done trial matches for JCW when he was 17 and he’s 31 now. He said friendship or not, the title was his.

Winner: The Weedman – Weedman took a beating, but ultimately came through in the end after catching the monster War Child with a pair of superkicks. He cut a passionate promo to set up his JCW World Hvt. Championship match against 2 Tuff Tony at Juggalo Day.

Jimmy Jacobs was out next and Shaggy wasn’t happy to see him. Kongo Kong was out next. Shaggy noted that Kong was four times heavier than Jacobs. Jacobs grabbed the mic from Sugar Slam. Jacobs yelled at the announcers for saying he was about to get killed. He said they thought he was going to get killed by 2 Tuff Tony and they thought he was going to get killed then and he almost won the JCW Championship. Jacobs said half the crowd turned on Tony at the last show and chanted for him. Jacobs said 2 Tuff Tony had shaken his hand after the match and respected him. Jacobs told Kong he was going to beat the f—k out of him. Jacobs said the announcers might not get him, but he’s one of the best wrestlers on the planet and the fans respect him.

(3) Kongo Kong vs. Jimmy Jacobs. Jacobs hit several punches, but Kong simply shoved him down to the mat. Kong ran at Jacobs, but he pulled the ropes on him. Jacobs hit a slingshot splash and Kong caught him, but Jacobs raked his eyes. Kong quickly fired back on the outside and went to work on Jacobs. They fought up to the stage and Shaggy said, “I’m just glad we don’t have a Spanish broadcast table right now because you know it would be dead.” Jacobs ran up the ramp and nailed Kongo with a forearm that sent him over the top rope back into the ring. Jacobs went for a dive off the top, but Kongo caught him and slammed him down to the mat.

“Kongo Kong doesn’t give a f—k about cutting promos. Kongo Kong wants to destroy and eat raw snake” – KG on Kongo Kong as he put a beating on Jacobs.

Violent J said Jacobs had made him a fan by standing up to Kongo Kong. KG pointed out that it was almost like Jacobs was in a handicap match given Kong’s size. Kong continued to put a beating on Jacobs. One fan chanted for Jacobs and Shaggy said he now has two fans in the building. Jacobs tried to mount a comeback and hit a dropkick, but Kong wouldn’t go down. Jacobs went for a tornado DDT, but Kong tossed him across the ring. Kong choked Jacobs and a few more fans began chanting for Jacobs. Some fans chanted for Kongo. Kong put the boots to Jacobs in the corner and nailed him with a big cannonball, but Jacobs kicked out at the last second and the announcers sold disbelief. Kong set up Jacobs and hit a big powerslam, but Jacobs kicked out again. Kong set up Jacobs in the corner again and flipped him off. Kong went for another cannonball, but Jacobs rolled to the floor. Jacobs climbed the turnbuckles and hit a missile dropkick, but Kong wouldn’t go down. Jacobs got his eyeliner out and stabbed Kong with it twice. He then dug it into Kong’s eye, but he fought him off.

Kong missed a charge into the corner and hit a springboard cutter. He then went up top and hit a huge senton, but Kong kicked out at 2. Jacobs hit a series of running forearms in the corner, but Kong eventually caught him and slammed him to the mat. Kong went up top a short time later and hit a huge splash, but Jacobs kicked out at the last second. The announcers lost their minds and the fans chanted “Holy s—t.” Kong tried to lift himself to his feet using Kong, but Kong picked him up and hit a huge jumping piledriver for the win.

After the match, Violent J and Shaggy ran down all of Jacobs’s traits that they don’t like, but they said he has a lion’s heart. Gill then asked the fans to give Jacobs a round of applause and the fans obliged. Violent J said if that was any other man, Jacobs would have won.

Winner: Kongo Kong

Star rating: (***) – The match told a good story with Jacobs winning over the fans and Violent J by showing a ton of heart during the match and refusing to go down until the end. The match dragged a bit at times, but overall it told a fun story with Jacobs seemingly turning face.

The next match is between two JCW Hall of Fame members. Mad Man Pondo came out first to a good reaction with his usual assortment of plunder. Gill said at Juggalo Day, Pondo and Mary Dobson would challenge The Hooligans for the JCW Tag Team Champions. The Rude Boy was out next and the fans chanted for him. Rude Boy came out with a snake perhaps channeling Jake the Snake Roberts. He was also wearing a poncho.

“I wonder who had a more fun drive to the show. Pondo with his circular saw of doom or The Rude Boy with his f---ing python.” –KG

(4) Mad Man Pondo vs. The Rude Boy. The fans chanted for both men before they went at it. Shaggy suggested that Pondo take off his shirt as well, but Pondo begged off. Both men eventually shook hands and began exchanging bombs in the middle of the ring. Rude Boy sent Pondo to the floor with a punch and went on the attack on the floor. They went to shots from the ref cam as both guys went back and forth. Pondo got a huge axe and mowed it across Rude Boy’s forehead. Rude Boy came up bleeding and Pondo tossed him back into the ring. Pondo rolled the blade across Rude Boy’s back and then mid-section. Pondo continued to go after Rude Boy with his axe, but Rude Boy fired back with a fork shot. Pondo came up bleeding after Rude Boy used his fork on him. Rude boy went to the outside and tossed a bunch of chairs and light tubes into the rings. Rude Boy clumsily lifted Pondo onto his shoulders and ended up putting himself through the light tubes that he had set up on the chairs. He made the cover, but only got a 2 count. Rude Boy got a rope and Violent J said, “This is what you call hanging with your homie.” Rude Boy hung Pondo over the top rope, but eventually let go of the rope. Pondo fired back and hit a DVD into some light bulbs set up in the corner for the win.

After the match, Pondo raised Rude Boy’s hand in a show of respect. Both men ended up leaving the ring together. It was pretty funny to see them leave together holding their plunder.

Winner: Mad Man Pondo – I’m not a fan of matches like this and this match was really clunky at times, especially the spot where Rude Boy put himself through a pile of light tubes with Pondo on his shoulders.

ICP and KG ran down the matches for the JCW show on Juggalo Day.

Super Strong Tiger and Spider Monkey came out first. Spider Monkey looked to be very young and skinny, but he was wearing a mask so it was hard to tell how old he is. The Ring Rydas came out next to a good reaction from the crowd.

“If this was on the Serengeti all advantages would go to Super Tiger.” - KG

(5) The Ring Rydas (Ryda Red & Ryda Blue) vs. Super Strong Tiger & The Spider Monkey. Both teams went to the floor and Blue suplexed Monkey onto the entrance ramp. Blue suplexed Monkey back into the ring form the floor. He then nailed Tiger with a high knee off the ramp to the floor. The Ring Rydas then double teamed Monkey inside the rign with a combination of moves capped by a pair of knees to the head. They then went to work on Tiger and nailed him with a combination of moves.

““Oh my god the Ring Rydas are so f---ing sweet!” – Violent J. Red hit a big cross-body off the top on Tiger, but he managed to kick off. Blue then went up top for a frog splash, but Tiger got out of the way and nailed him with a huge palm strike. Monkey tagged in and went to work on Blue. The announcers added the word spider in front of all the moves The Spider Monkey was doing including his pins being called the spider press. Blue fired back a short time later and hit a snow plow on Tiger, but Monkey broke up the pin. Tiger went for a tiger suplex and couldn’t get Blue all the way over so he kind of just dumped him down onto the mat for a 2 count. Monkey tagged back in and continued to work over Blue. The fans began trying to rally behind Blue, but Monkey got a running start and jumped off Blue’s back right into a SSP for a 2 count. Wow! Violent J and KG had a hilarious debate if they should put monkey before the names of Spider Monkey’s moves because he’s half spider and half monkey. Blue tried to mount a comeback with a slingshot shoulder tackle, but Tiger got out of the way.

“If I had to name him myself, I would call him Medium Strength Tiger.” – Violent J chimes in with his opinion on just how strong Super Strong Tiger is.

Spider Monkey took offense to the commentary on Tiger and glared at the announcers. They continued to tag in and out to work over Blue. Monkey hit a moonsault off the turnbuckle a short time later for a 2 count. Blue fired back and hit a standing SSP on Monkey, but he was unable to tag out. Blue finally fired back and made Tiger DDT Monkey by nailing him with a spear. Blue finally made the hot tag to Red, who ran wild with lariats. He hit a big DVD on Monkey. Tiger tried to fire back and went up top, but Red nailed him with a kick to the head. Blue then suplexed Tiger into a sit out powerbomb from Red for a 2 count! How is that not the finish? The Ring Rydas wiped out Tiger and Monkey with stereo fives to the floor. Monkey fired back a short time later and took down blue with a hurricanrana to the ropes to the floor. Tiger and Red ended up going at it inside the ring. Red hit a huge lariat on Tiger, but Monkey made the save. Monkey hit a crazy looking version of sliced bread on Red by landing on the ropes with his feet and springing back down to drive him into the mat. Both teams went back and forth inside the ring. Tiger and Monkey hit a neck breaker/splash combination on Red, but he kicked out. Blue hit the Ryda cutter on Tiger and Blue finished him off with God’s last gift for the win.

Winners: Ryda Red & Ryda Blue

Star rating: (***) – This match was a lot of fun. The Ring Rydas are a lot of fun to watch and they hit some crazy double team moves. Spider and Tiger appeared to be outmatched at first, but they went toe-to-toe with the Ring Rydas and showcased some nice double team moves of their own. There were too many near falls in this match off moves that clearly should have finished anyone off, but overall this was a lot of fun.

Officer Colt Cabana came out first for the main event. Sugar Slam introduced him as working closely with the FBI’s anti-Juggalo gang movement, which was funny. Cabana came down to the ring drinking a cup of coffee, which brought about an obvious donut joke from Violent J. KG and Violent J said Cabana used man cream for his coffee. JCW Champion 2 Tuff Tony was out next to defend his title. Tony let the audience at ringside sip his Bacardi at ringside.

Cabana tried to sexually assault the ref from behind while he held the title up before the match started. Cabana told the fans heckling him that he was going to f—k all of them. KG went into far too much detail about where such transgressions would take place.

(6) JCW World Champion 2 Tuff Tony vs. Officer Colt Cabana. Cabana got in Tony’s face during the early going and he decked him with a big punch. Cabana drank some coffee on the apron before getting back into the ring. Tony took a powder to the outside a short time later and had a few sips for his liquor bottle. The fans fired up and chanted for Tony. The commentators hilariously said Tony was getting Cabana excited after he spanked him out of the waist lock position and Tony waved his finger at them. Cabana got a waist lock and made humping motions on Tony, who kicked him right in the junk. They went back and forth and Tony ended up reversing a hip toss and sent Tony to the floor. Tony offered up some Cabana to the crowd for some chops and they obliged. Cabana tried to get the fans to chop Tony, but Tony reversed it and several fans chopped Cabana again. Cabana baited Tony into chasing him out of the ring and then back in where he cut him off. Cabana stood on Tony’s groin using the ropes for leverage and blew kisses to the fans.

“I think he enjoyed putting his genitalia on Tony’s shoulder, but I digress.” – KG’s take on Cabana’s lewd offense.

“It’s like this match has turned into Brokeback Mountain.” – Violent J.

The fans tried to rally behind Tony as he continued to take a beating. Tony fired back with a sunset flip for a 2 count, but ran right into an elbow from Cabana. Cabana hit a headbutt to Tony’s groin and then laid his head down on him. Cabana got on top of Tony and made humping motions and the fans sold disgust.

“These two men are working together and he’s being sexually harassed.” – Shaggy 2 Dope on Tony’s plight in the match.

Cabana twerked for the announcers while working a chin lock and the announcers sold disgust. Cabana told KG he was going to take a #2 in his pants, which was hilarious. Tony ended up pulling the ropes on Cabana when he went up top and Cabana crotched himself on the top rope. They went to a double clothesline and both men were down. Tony got up and ran wild on Cabana. Tony hit the Tony-sault on Cabana, but he kicked out at 2. Tony nailed Cabana with a sliding kick, but Cabana kicked out at 2 again. The ref cam shots of the ref counting the pin didn’t look good. Tony set up for the flaming fist, but Cabana nailed him with his nightstick. Cabana choked Tony with his nightstick as Weedman watched from the entrance ramp. Cabana tossed his coffee into Tony’s face and continued to choke him with the nightstick. Cabana tried to handcuff Tony. The Weedman ran in and went for a kick on Cabana, but he ended up hitting Tony. Cabana tossed Weedman out of the ring and made the cover on Tony, but he kicked out at the last second. Tony was handcuffed, but he managed to mount another comeback on Cabana. Tony tried to set up for the flaming fist. The ref ended up lighting his fist for him and Tony nailed Cabana with the flaming fist for the win.

Tony cut a promo on Weedman after the match and told him he doesn’t need help. Tony said he understands that Weedman was trying to help him, but he doesn’t need his help. Tony said he wasn’t out there to help him, but instead he wanted to guarantee he was champion in one month so that he could beat Tony and fulfill his destiny to become JCW Champion. Weedman then left the ring without shaking Tony’s hand.

Winner: 2 Tuff Tony to retain the JCW Championship

Star rating: (***1/4) – This was a fun match that was heavy on humor with Cabana playing the role of the jerk police officer to perfection. I really enjoy Cabana in this role, as he’s hilarious. The action wasn’t spectacular, but the storytelling elements were strong enough to make this a fun main event, which also served to set up Tony vs. Weedman for the JCW World Championship at Juggalo Day the next month.

Overall thoughts: (7.5) – This was a very enjoyable edition of JCW. They have returned with regular shows again and this was the first DVD release from JCW in quite some time. Nearly all of the matches were enjoyable from the brutal beating Zach Gowen took in the opener from Shane Mercer to the main event where Tony overcame the despicable Officer Colt Cabana to retain the JCW World Championship.

Shane Mercer put a beating on Zach Gowen in the opener that was really impressive. The finish was insane with Mercer holding Gowen in his arms and doing a moonsault for the win. Gowen does a great job making his opponents look good and Mercer shined here.

The commentary on this show was hilarious throughout the evening, as KG, Shaggy, and J brought their “A” game to enhance the matches with live commentary that the crowd could here. I didn’t think I would like listening to the commentary over the house mic, but they did a fantastic job of syncing it with the video for the DVD and it sounded like they were doing regular commentary.

Another standout match on the undercard was Jacobs vs. Kong. Jacobs was really good here playing the underdog role. Jacobs was fun to watch, as he turned the fans his way by taking a beating and not quitting against Kong until the end when Kong proved to be too much for him.

The main event was a fun match between JCW fan favorite 2 Tuff Tony, who was defending the JCW World Championship, against Office Colt Cabana. If you haven’t seen Cabana’s act as a heel police officer that hates Juggalos, you owe it to yourself to check out this match. Cabana is so versatile as a performer that it’s hard to believe someone that is usually so beloved in wrestling could portray a character like this, but Cabana does it well and the commentary team did a great job of firing away one-liners about Cabana throughout the match.

Overall, this was a really fun show with some good in-ring action. The storytelling was good, as the show put a heavy focus on The Weedman vs. 2 Tuff Tony for the JCW World Championship on Juggalo Day, which is when the next JCW event was held earlier this year. Hopefully JCW can put these shows out regularly on DVD, as they’re fun to follow and the colorful characters and hilarious commentary make for a really enjoyable viewing experience. Thumbs up!

You can purchase JCW’s “JCW’s Back Bitch!” on DVD by clicking HERE or by visiting HatchetGear.com.

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