By Bruce Mitchell, PWTorch columnist

[This article originally was published in last week's PWTorch Newsletter #1265, available by subscription at www.pwtorch.com/govip. In light of WWE skipping viewer Touts on Monday, we present this guide to our vast free website and app audience to try to revive WWE's Tout videos of fans in time for Raw next week!]

One of the great things about sports entertainment is that it's constantly evolving, changing, and growing (to three hours). It used to be that fans's greatest ambition was to see the biggest, best Superstars on the Grandest Stage of Them All, whether it was sitting on their own couch and watching it on the big screen in the comfort of their own home or spending the weekend enjoying all of the events on location, then sauntering all the way to their thousand dollar front row seats.

Things grow (to three hours), some things don't. We're, I mean, they're all in the same WWE Universe together and 15-second Tout videos connect everyone like a sports entertainment Unified Field Theory.

As famed movie star Gloria Swanson once said, "I am big. It's the pictures that got small." It's the same thing with WWE Superstars. Now, fans and Superstars are no longer separated by a video screen or a raised ring. We've all seen John Cena and The Rock and Randy Orton and Brock Lesnar and every time we see them, they shrink just a little more. Sheamus and Daniel Bryan and C.M. Punk and A.J. started out small. It's the fans of the WWE Universe who are growing to meet the Superstars. Aleister Crowley foresaw the WWE Universe when he said, "Every man and every woman is a star."

Crowley would have loved Touting.

Remember, WWE has a financial stake in the Tout company, so you're going to have plenty of opportunities, like in the thousands, to have your WWE Universe face appear in front of the millions and millions in the WWE Universe, all of whom are, like you, ready for their close-up.

So the question is, how are you to going to effectively use Tout to raise your Star in the WWE Universe?

Simple. Follow these steps (after you download the Tout App) and you can greatly increase your chances for your 15 seconds of Tout to appear on Raw or Smackdown.

*Comb your hair.

*Don't stick your face too far up in the picture.

*Try to be part of a desired demographic.

*No complaining about the product. The product is fine.

*Wear the merchandise. Yes, even those brightly-colored John Cena shirts.

*No gang signs. WWE and Tout are publicly traded corporations.

*Take a hint from Paul Heyman. He enunciates the name Brock Lesnar about four times every 15 seconds. Do the same on your Tout with either your Superstar subject's name or some other WWE Universe brand.

*Work the specific Superstar's catchphrases into your answer Touting about that specific Superstar.

*Don't mix catchphrases. For example, don't say "Yes! Yes! Yes!" if you're touting about Dolph Ziggler.

*Go easy on the "Yes! Yes! Yes!" thing. The competition is fierce to get on the air with that one.

*Slow week? Tout about how great it is what John Cena and WWE are doing with those wonderful Make-A-Wish kids.

* Be a Star! Don't forget Be a Star! Talk about how your children learned how to deal with bullies at school from their favorite WWE Superstar. Who cares if you don't have any kids?

* You're not Charlie Sheen. Tout sober.

* Don't Tout in your own self-created character. There are copyright issues involved, and also no one wants to see that crap.

*Keep your shirt on. It'll come back to haunt you. Ask Scott Hudson.

*Follow the storylines a little more closely. Yes, I know even Vince McMahon can have a hard time doing that, but if you do you can more closely align your Tout with the brand message and increase your chances of getting on the air. Vince McMahon can get on the air any time some cute girl starts to get over.

*When you closely align your Tout with the brand message, there's no reason to get creative. Just be simple and direct.

*Don't be afraid to switch horses in mid-stream. One week, The Miz is almost in the main event, the next week he isn't. Just don't Tout about the same ol' Superstar every week. Remember, your loyalty lies with the Universe, not any particular star. The point is, to get on Raw or, if necessary, Smackdown.

*Take another hint from Paul Heyman. Try this: Every time you Tout, put over Triple H or Stephanie McMahon. If you can do it while seeming to rip them, so much the better. Hell, if you can do it while seeming to rip them, all in 15 seconds, you'll be smarter than Heyman. He tends to go on a little.

*If you're a guy between the ages of 18 to 35 with some facial hair and a job, consider jumping on the corporate Cena bandwagon, if only to get on Raw. You'll be just what they're looking for. Remember, there's no shame in doing what you have to do to get on the air.

*Remember, there's also no shame in just Touting about how important the WWE Universe is to you.

*Remember, there's no shame.

Every time one of your Touts is aired, you'll be more than a fan. You'll be a brief but essential part of a multi-level social media marketing platform.

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