MOJO MITCHELL'S WWE RAW 4/19 Stream of Volcano Dust, Comebacks, WWE wrestler R-Truth Destroyed in Live Pyro Accident

We start with Triple H, who explains the volcano in Iceland that has the entire Raw roster in Europe is like Big Show when he eats Mexican food. Har Har Har.

"Sheamus, if you're bad, I'm deadly." Surprisingly, no BS comparison there.

The Straight Edge Society arrives. "I've got two words for ya – Jersey sucks." If C.M. Punk gets drafted to Raw, he's bringing the entire SES to Raw.

"You mean both of 'em?" Triple H proceeds to deconstruct Punk's whole gimmick.

Everybody wants to be the Mojo.

"You could do some good and let some straight-edge into your life," Punk retorts.

Triple H declines. He's about freedom. Apparently, in this country we're free to take illegal recreational drugs.

Punk tells The Game that's beside the point. Straight Edge is about taking the right choice for your health, not taking your choice.

Triple H, confused, leaves the ring.

Not really. He points out some ringsiders. "This guy is free to binge drink."

That other guy is free to marry another guy and adopt a kid.

Hey, look, there's Lillian Garcia, she's free to come back and horse around for one night. (Well, that was mean.)

Triple H is free to turn his cap around and beat up Punk.

"I'm not asking you to join us, I'm telling you."

The SES jump The Game, he makes his comeback, but the SES make their comeback-comeback, and it looks like The Game is getting a haircut, but Rey Mysterio arrives for the comeback-comeback-comeback. He cuts some hair off Punk.

You can come back, baby, rock 'n roll never forgets.

Don't call it a come-back...

Baby, come back, any kind of fool can see...

Lillian Garcia came back.

Drew McIntyre faces Matt Hardy. Why? Who know, since McIntyre whipped Hardy's ass so bad on Smckdown he doesn't deserve a re-match. See, I told you.

John Cena from Belfast tells us that everyone stuck there is drunk. What the hell.

Cena doesn't get why Batista tapping out isn't good enough. Me either.

Bad Vlad Kozlov wants MacGruber. First he wants Jerry Lawler to read a statement. He is protesting the unfair treatment he has received. (Lawler is great reacting with exasperation at what he's reading.)

MacGruber is at least as funny on Raw as he was the first seven dozen times they did the skit on Saturday Night Live.

I believe that was the first uterus joke in the history of the longest running something or another in television history.

MacGruber matches him up with R-Truth.

MacGruber accidentally blows up R-Truth before the match.

Somehow that means Kozlov is going to face MacGruber later tonight.

After a break, MacGruber, The Game, and Kane aren't funny, and for what seems like a long time too.

Randy Orton, stuck in Ireland, seems interested in winning his match for the World championship (against The All-American American) Sunday night at the pay-per-view.

And speaking of come-backs, Ric Flair is coming back next week on TNA Giveaway. (Holding the match off for a whole week - that's like building it up for seven months in Vince Russo years.)

Jack Swagger, our World champ, is out. He challenges anyone in the locker room to come out and face him. No one comes out.

"That's what I thought."

The bell tolls.

Another comeback – The Undertaker comes back to Raw.

The Dead Man is a company man to the end.

The Undertaker faces Jack Swagger. This is, well, this is a little slow.

Ten minutes later it's still slow. It's slow like volcanic ash spreading across Europe. It's slow like Raw wrestlers coming home.

It's slow. It's real slow.

It's not as slow as Hulk Hogan coming down the ramp, but still.

Undertaker wins with a Tombstone Piledriver.

Taker leans over the ropes after the match and quietly tells himself, "I'm getting too old for this ****."

Jericho sings the MacGruber song to McGruber, except he replaces MacGruber with his own name. He's in the movie. There's been some Oscar talk for Jericho for this thing, apparently.

Bad Vlad faces MacGruber, who steals Jericho's walk to the ring. Some guy (how they presented it) stops Vlad in mid-chokeslam and makes the match a handicap, as if it this wasn't enough. Khaluber comes down. I wan da belt. No wait, it's not that guy. It's Khali in a Tina Turner fright wig. He wins in a Worst Match of the Year candidate.

"America is the greatest country in the world," says McGruber. Boom!

Oh, and Samoa Joe came back to TNA tonight, so there's another one.

Back in Belfast, a drunken Sheamus mistakes a cameraman for Triple H and beats him up. Boy, will he be embarrassed...

Back in New Jersey, Triple H, Rey Mysterio, and Edge face C.M. Punk, Luke Gallows, and Chris Jericho. Serena is at ringside. Good action. Punk goes from the 619 to the Pedigree for the loss.

And we save the best comeback for last.

Because this one leads to a 'back that's even better than a comeback.

This one leads to Back to Back.

Again.

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