By Dusty Giebink, Lounge Louie Spicolli Wannabe

Welcome back everyone to the latest edition of Constructive Criticism. It's that time of year again, when the weather starts getting colder and the people start getting even more rude and ill-tempered here in bleak, bleary Wisconsin. But hey, think those positive thoughts. The sun'll come up in March, bet your bottom dollar.

In today's episode, I will be looking at the sudden, drastic turnaround that Josh Matthews has undergone, the one thing that could turn WWE's business around, and a whole lot more. Jesse, the SRO signs, standing room only, went out over a week ago. Positively.

Now playing: "Providence" by Sonic Youth, "Gigantic" by the Pixies, and "Saving Grace" by Throwing Muses. A hearty thank you to all the Torch writers that have sung my praises of late. I am definitely not worthy. On to the show!

The Sudden Improvement of Josh Matthews

I'll tell you what. The sudden improvement of Josh Matthews as the play-by-play announcer on everyone's favorite Saturday night B-level wrestling show hasn't been so sudden. He has been steadily improving ever since I took on the job as Velocity review individual for the Torch.

But lately, he has been better than ever. What's up with that?

Easy. Look at the person sitting next to him. If we can accept as a proven fact that when, in matches against Chris Benoit, A Train looks like a halfway decent wrestler, it can be accredited to his partner in crime (so to speak), then the same logic should be applied to Matthews.

I should point out that in no way do I think Matthews was ever as bad an announcer as A Train is at wrestling. I should also point out that A Train is a solid big man worker that the rest of the roster enjoys working with. The Train is a good hand in the ring.

Anyhoo, Matthews has been getting better of late by association. Saddled with the terminally mediocre Cat, Matthews was forced to bring it down to his level, instead of being able to raise Miller to another level. Matthews is not yet at the Chris Benoit point, where he can raise his dance partner to the next level. He needs a good partner to make him even better. Tazz is Matthews' Benoit, making him become even better.

Now, before I get bombarded by Cat apologists (not bloody likely), I must say that history was simply not on his side. I will grant that he is at least a decent interview, and at times can be very funny and entertaining. But he just couldn't cut it as an announcer. Call it the Arn Anderson disease.

Anderson was one of the greatest interviews in wrestling, but he proved he was mediocre at best as a color commentator. Cat, while nowhere near Anderson has far as interview quality goes, is a good interview who also couldn't cut the mustard as a color man.

The point is that Matthews, while shackled with Cat, was being held back. Left to carry too big a load, he got brought down to Cat's level. It stunted his growth. Now, with Tazz by his side in the broadcast booth, he can only get better. But the real beneficiaries are the people (all five of us) watching at home. We get to see the week-by-week improvements that the kid is making.

I think wrestling fans appreciate historical references. It makes it seem like what they are watching now may actually mean something in the future. This is why it is all the more important for announcers to make reference to important figures and happenings in the past. Josh Matthews consistently does that, with his mentionings of legendary performer Tiger Mask or Tito Santana or what have you. 

Sprinkle that in with his superb calling of the action featuring tomorrow's legends, such as Kanyon and Pokerface, and it's a winning lottery ticket of announce-itivity. Josh Matthews is a good announcer.

But just how does he compare to the other WWE announcers? Well, he's not the best. Not yet at least. The fact that he needs Tazz to raise him to another level means he's not as good as Tazz yet. (Well, duh.) I also am not sure he is better than Michael Cole. A lot of things annoy me about Cole, such as his liberal use of the word "damn" and his miscalling of huracanranas, but I have to give credit where it is due.

Cole has worked to improve himself tremendously. He is a student of the game and puts a lot of effort into what he's doing. It may be another case of Tazz making a person raise his game. For the reason of him always being around people who suddenly get better, I'm going to say Tazz is the best announcer in WWE right now. But what about Jim Ross?

Well, what about him? He has clearly slipped a step (or two or three or many) in recent months (years). He's technically not even an announcer right now, having lost that atrocity of a match at last Sunday's pay-per-view. My prediction is that he will not be gone from the broadcast booth for very long, and may even be back as soon as next week. Coach is an embarrassment, being given plenty of opportunities to improve and not having done so.

Unlike Cole, Coach seems to have no interest in improving. He certainly hasn't gotten any better lately. Granted working with Snow is not the same as working with Tazz, who is on top of the game right now. But Matthews was showing signs of improvement even when working with Cat. What's Coach's excuse?

Raw needs Jim Ross back as the play-by-play man. He may not have "the look," where Kevin Dunn and the rest of the production idiots want to masticate to his pictures, he may have slipped several steps, he may not be able to properly identify and call all the maneuvers like he used to, but he is the best the Raw brand has. They need him.

As for Matthews, I would place him as the third or fourth best WWE announcer right now, behind Tazz and Ross for sure, and possibly Cole. He's good but not great. He's certainly getting better. He is just one of the reasons people should tune in to Velocity every Saturday night. You never know what move will conjure up memories of the great Tiger Mask.

The One Quick Fix They Got Left

WWE is left with one last quick fix, sure fire angle to turn business around. I'm saying this as a concerned fan who wants to see things get better. I also say this as someone who has no hope in the world of being taken seriously. (Nor have I given reason to be.)

WWE needs to bring back Sid. Now.

Sid was quite possibly the greatest big man worker of any era. His workrate broke new boundaries. His in-ring quality made other big men go, "Uh oh. We need to get a whole lot better in a big hurry, or else Sid will take our spot and take the wrestling world by storm."

Only problem is, it didn't matter whether they got any better. Sid was just so good, there was no way to reach his level. He was simply on another planet in terms of workrate.

This is why it is so amazing to me that WWE hasn't brought him back yet. I guess the only explanation is that they are waiting for just right moment. That time has come.

Sid may never be able to wrestle again due the devastating injury he suffered a few years ago. This is unfortunate for all us Sid fans out there who would like nothing more than to see our hero get back in the ring one last time and dazzle us with another five star classic. (Who doesn't remember the time Sid carried that stiff Shawn Michaels to a great match at the Survivor Series?)

So, considering Sid can no longer perform in the ring, you might be thinking that his usefulness in professional wrestling has been exhausted. You would be mistaken. Sid can help turn business around by simply walking to the ring and grabbing a microphone. You're forgetting that Sid was also a world class interview, in addition to his in-ring ability.

Sid has a natural feud with Scott Steiner in the works, going back to Sid's last match. Sid's injury occurred in a match against Steiner. He could still hold a grudge to this day against Big Poppa Pump. He doesn't care what the fans think, he's not some hero to be admired for overcoming adversity. He's a ruthless bad ass who has come to get his revenge.

Out comes Steiner to confront him. Steiner claims his innocence in what happened to Sid, and besides, he thinks it's very unfortunate. He sent Sid a card while he was in the hospital. Sid doesn't care, he just wants to see Steiner get beat up. But Sid admits he cannot do this alone, not in his current condition.

Cue Sean O'Haire. The whacky haired one makes his Raw brand debut (this can be explained away with some sort of trade, but it would take a lot to get O'Haire from Smackdown's clutches), jumping Steiner from behind and laying him out.

This sets up a match for the next Monday's Raw: Scott Steiner against Sean O'Haire, with Sid in his corner. If that doesn't turn business around, I have no idea what will.

For the literal minded

I know that Sid was never a good worker. I know that Sid was a terrible interview. I know that there is not one quick fix, instant solution to turning business around. I know that if there is, it certainly has nothing to do with Sid, Scott Steiner or Sean O'Haire. I know that Shawn Michaels is the one who really carried Sid in that match, and I know that Shawn Michaels is one of the best workers in the history of the business. 

Please don't email me, telling me these things.

One Final Thing

The toilet paper at my college is horrid. It is the wussiest, most see-through toilet paper in the history of toilet paper. What does this have to do with anything? Follow me, my people. I will show you the way.

While you are sitting on the toilet, you have a lot of time to think about stuff. I, for instance, have been thinking about the quality of my school's toilet paper of late. But I have a solution for everyone's bathroom time blues. I call for installation of a television, with either a VHS or DVD player, in every bathroom in America. And since this is a free country, allow the American people to bring the VHS or DVD tape of their choosing along with them when they step into the bathroom.

This would allow wrestling fans to watch their homemade "Best of Bastion Booger" collections even away from home, studying one of the finest in the game to learn the tricks of the trade, all the while taking care of business. This is why I should be president.

I would like to thank Mike Roe and Jim Tanoos for writing in this week. No Mike, I have no idea why they put Big Show in the opening match on Velocity last week. Other than insanity, of course. And yes, Jim, I too am hoping for a speedy title change on the part of Goldberg. Maybe he could lose it to Sid . . .

Dusty Giebink thinks much can be said about Dominique Swain. He welcomes any questions, answers, comments, or concerns, and can be contacted at dustygiebink@yahoo.com. He would like to point out that Mike Sempervive is not right 100% of the time, but you should still read his stuff.

LOUNGE DRESS CODE

Unlike the rest of PWTorch.com, smoking is permitted in The Lounge. There is no dress code. The Lounge is a new area of PWTorch.com that will feature columns from a variety of Torch Team Contributors (now also forever known as Lounge Dwellers). Each of them will write a column once a week, and a new Lounge column will be posted daily.

This Lounge features a different, more casual tone than the rest of PWTorch.com as the Lounge Dwellers write about wrestling, each other's opinions on wrestling, and some other stuff. They also welcome your feedback and will react to your letters in their columns. Here is the schedule of who you can expect to be here each day...

SUNDAY: Mike Sempervive (Lounge Veteran and Investigative Reporter)

MONDAY: Marc Donmoyer (also NWA-TNA PPV reviewer)

TUESDAY: Robert Igoe (also Confidential reviewer)

TUESDAY: David Miller (also NWA-TNA reviewer)

WEDNESDAY: Jeremy Maes (also Heat reviewer)

WEDNESDAY: Dusty Giebink (also Velocity reviewer)

THURSDAY: Jon Koeller (also Torch Indy Reporter)

FRIDAY: Keith Lipinski (also Torch Title Change Reporter)

SATURDAY: Mallory Mahling (longtime Raw alt perspective reviewer)

PLUS: Ellen Cohen twice a week contributes her "Feud-o-Meter" columns.

To visit the Main Lobby of the Lounge where you can access previous columns, click here.