By James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor

It's all about you. And you. And you dressed up like Bray Wyatt. And you wearing the Cena t-shirt. Thank you so much for attending the show. Oh, and thank you for not flipping to another channel. You won't flip to another channel, right? Because it's all about you. And we're doing our best to serve you.

See, our top guy is a really good guy. He loves you. He wants to entertain you. He's even lowering himself to this reality show dreck for you. It's all about you!

He's not a bad guy. Really. See, he does Make-A-Wish. Wait, where's the video package to entertain you?

Okay, so you don't like our top guy. Wait, I have this guy. He WRESTLES! He came from one of those gyms that you like to see WRESTLING! See, he's a WRESTLER! and we're using the word WRESTLING! on our show. We're not so bad. We like wrestling, too, but we have those pesky regulators who want to regulate us if we're like really WRESTLING. So, we want to keep entertaining you, so we have to be sports entertainers.

But, we still want you to know that we know what you know about WRESTLING! See, we're letting that goat-faced WRESTLER! get a main event spot. At Summerslam. In Los Angeles. I think the cast of "Grown-Ups" is going to be there. Oh, how embarrassing. What will Adam Sandler think? Wait, it's all about you! Go Daniel Bryan! But, he's so short. And he looks like a troll. Fine, because it's all about you, we'll give him a seat at the grown-ups table. For now.

No, it's really about you! I didn't mean to not be excited. I am excited! We're all excited! Because you get what you want to see - Bryan punching The Miz. No, no, we like Miz. Because he entertains you. At least that's what Marketing says. About you. No, you get to see Bryan kick John Cena in the face. Over and over. Because you want to see that. Right? Please don't change the channel.

Okay, so you get to see Bryan punch and kick and stomp and hurt John Cena, living vicariously through that goat-faced...weasel...troll...no, it's all about you! And you've suffered through 12 years of Cena, right? So, you should get a chance to throw the proverbial baseball at the dunk-tank and see Cena take a swim, right? Because it's fun and games! And we're all about you!

But, we know that we can't have Bryan as champion. As much as it's definitely about you - oh, it most certainly is - it just wouldn't be right for Bryan to be champion. He's too short. And Shawn Michaels he ain't. But, we still want you to know that it's all about you!

Just remember, at the end of day, our top guy is still a good guy. He really is! He even said WRESTLING! in his promo. Don't you remember when he was wrestled on the California independent scene? No, really! He wrestled in front of 200 people, too! Because he wanted to entertain you! He just has to be all corporate because we need sponsors. We're PG! But, with an edge, because it's all about you! And you don't want to watch a kids show. You want Raw! Ruthless Aggression! But, we're publicly traded. And we have to finance our corporate jet. But, because it's to best serve you! All of you! We wouldn't be here without you! Please don't leave. What else do you want? So fickle. So unappreciative.

You! You! You!

Please buy Summerslam. We're even giving you Rob Van Dam vs. one of those cool independent guys Ambrose for free! Free! For you!

Did I mention it's all about you?

We suggest these recent related articles...

CALDWELL'S WWE "NXT: HOUSTON" LIVE RESULTS 9/17: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of Balor, Joe, Bayley, more from debut show in Texas

CALDWELL'S LIVE REPORT - 7/12 Lone Star in Houston, Tex.: Alberto El Patron no-shows, Dreamer vs. Hoyt new main event; plus Duggan, Snitsky, Cabana vs. Mahal, Joey Ryan, Rowe vs. Hernandez, Ivellise, Catrina, Houston Carson, one title change, more

CALDWELL: A Top 10 for 10 Years - Hall of Fame, George, Sweet Tea, Studio B, Duke, Three-Pack, and you!