WWE Raw HOLT report
August 13, 2002
Seattle, Wash.
Report by Devon of Seattle, Wash., PWTorch.com correspondent

Forget the show. What you saw during the two hours RAW was taped, was absolutely nothing compared to the half-hour which followed the show. I've been reading PWTorch, for some two-odd years, and I have never read a HOLT report which contained the kind of absolute insanity which happened following the credits of RAW.

We pick up where the Undertaker, Booker T, and Goldust are left standing in shock after the loss to the Un-Americans and Triple H. Booker T and Goldust are getting ready to leave, when the Undertaker pulls him back, and gets on the house mic. He tells Booker T that the fans aren't about to leave tonight until they get what was paid for, implying the Spinarooni. 'Taker even simulated the dropping to his knee, with arm outstretched as Booker T's signature pre-Spinarooni stance. The crowd got behind Booker, and he did his thing. 'Taker started to make his way out of the ring, when Booker T grabbed his arm, pulling him back into the ring. Booker T grabbed the mic, and told 'Taker that tonight wouldn't be complete until 'Taker supplied the fans with what they wanted to see -- "The 'Takerooni!!"

The Undertaker was pissed, but in an amused "you got me" sense. Booker T and Goldust were busting a gut laughing at the crowd absolutely screaming for a "'Takerooni". For around five minutes straight, the camera was stealing close-ups of the Undertaker's facial expression to being put on the spot for a Spinarooni of his own. He grabbed the nearest camera man, and you could tell by what he was saying (although not audible), he was talking trash about getting even with Booker T. He was genuinely amused from the rib.

Booker T and Goldust were still aching from the challenge, when The Rock's Music hit, and The Rock himself started to make his way down to the ring. Mic in hand, he entered the squared-circle taunting The Undertaking for having yet to pull through with his own version of the Spinarooni. After a little bit more ribbing, Triple H's Music hit. 'Taker thought that it was his 'out'. But it was anything but. Triple H had his own mic, and said that "Although he and the Rock had there differences, it would be in their best interest to put them aside, and see first hand the Undertaker's "'Takerooni"." The Rock agreed, and they all stood staring at 'Taker. Triple H added, "Half the freakin' lockerroom is watching the monitors in the back, but I had to see the "'Takerooni" in person."

Triple H added after the crowd settled down for a moment (we had been absolutely going crazy the entire time. Didn't see a single non-laughing face in the building) "For 12 years, we've seen the Dead Man Walking -- but tonight, we want to see Dead Man Spinning!" The arena went ballistic. The Undertaker was so obviously swearing under his breath. Triple H, The Rock, Booker T and Goldust were so entirely amused, I couldn't put to words their perfectly straight facial expressions. Booker T dropped to show 'Taker again how the Spinarooni works, but did so in a fashion that The Undertaker would have in his more gimmick prone days. Booker laid on the mat as if dead, then pulled up off the mat (ala 'Taker from his old days) then extended his arm in Booker T's "five-time, five-time!" pose, and executed the Spinarooni.

I was absolutely aching. Most likely the funniest thing I have ever seen in a live professional wrestling show.

The Undertaker's facial expression was classic. Total hatred and hatred for everyone in the ring, putting him on the spot like this. Suddenly the Un-American's music played and they started to run down to the ring as yet another 'out' for the Undertaker, but the Rock grabbed pulled up on his mic and told all three of Un-American's "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You jerkoffs stop right there! No WAY you're gonna stop us from seeing what the people paid to see!" And sure enough, in the center of the ramp, they stopped. The Rock hopped out of the ring and stepped up to the trio, as Test grabbed his mic and said "Oh, we're not here to stop anything -- we came just like everybody else to see 'Taker make a fool of himself!" The crowd was in tears, we were laughing so hard.

Which bring us to "No Chance". Vince McMahon's theme begins, and out comes the man himself. Vince struts down to the ring, crowd in a frenzy, and grabs Triple H's microphone, calling the Undertaker out. He says that he's been around this business for a long time, and that he's seen a lot, but has never seen a 'Takerooni, and that this is something he needs to see in person.

The Undertaker's jaw almost hit the floor. Vince sweetened the deal, adding that if he, Triple H, and The Rock all perform Spinaroonis -- that 'Taker will have no choice but to do it as well. Goldust then jumps in, and pulls out a pretty darn good Spinarooni of his own. Vince then drops down to a knee, and executes one of the most hideous things I've ever seen before. An abomination of the maneuver, but the crowd still cheered him anyway, of course. He had balls to attempt it. Vince grabbed a mic and said, "There, now we've seen a Vincerooni, a Faggarooni (yes, a Faggarooni), and it's high time we saw a 'Takerooni."

Triple H grabbed Vince McMahon's microphone, adding in, "Vince. Right now, you're the whitest man in America." Triple H eventually gets taunted into his own Spinarooni - and sweet Jesus, it wasn't much better than Vince's. Directly following, The Undertaker grabs Triple H by the throat, and chokeslams him in the middle of the ring. An all out brawl ensues, and Undertaker (faster than I've seen him move in years) flies out of the ring and onto his motorcycle, speeding away.

Triple H, Booker T, Goldust ,and The Rock are left in the ring, with everyone else having left. And Triple H eventually gets to his feet, taunting The Rock that he has no balls to owe up to his part of the deal. After a minute or so of some trash-talking, The Rock gets down on his knee, extends his arm (which was the last of my 60 picture large memory card of my digital camera stock) and executes his own lacking version of the Spinarooni. Triple H charges him, and the Rock plants the Game down to the mat with a spinebuster, then follows it up with The People's Elbow.

The fans in the arena barely had stopped screaming for the entire show-following segment. After a minute, Triple H stands up and simply says "I hate you." in a defeated sulking tone to the Rock, which made the People's Champ pull up a chuckle of his own. Triple H then pauses to the fans and adds "And I hate you too."

By far, the most entertaining wrestling-related happening I've ever witnessed in my life. The segment lasted easily 30-40 minutes after the end of the show. It was side-splitting funny, and something that I'll probably never have the luck to see again. Absolutely hysterical. The prior two hours of Raw meant nothing compared to the last 30-40 minutes. I would have paid 25 bucks just to have seen that one un-aired segment. Fantastic.

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