WWE Velocity/Smackdown tapings
January 3, 2006
Wilkes-Barre, Pa.
Report by Matt G, PWTorch.com correspondent

Tony Chimmel announced Velocity to start the night, so I can't say what was a dark match and what wasn't.

VELOCITY

(1) Sylvan beat Bobby Slade. Slade was billed from Wilkes-Barre, so he got the obligatory hometown pop; Sylvan got stronger heat than I expected, provoking a "USA" chant at one point. Sylvan scored the pin with "Marvelous" Marc Mero's TKO.

(2) The Dicks beat Scotty Charisma & Fred Simpson. After four consecutive double-team spinebusters, the Dicks finished off the jabronis with their double facebuster and the Veg-O-Matic.

(3) Bobby Lashley defeated Havoc. Lashley's belly-to-belly looked weaker than usual, maybe due to the fact that Havoc is about the same size as Lashley but somewhat of a slob. Dominator, pinfall. Lashley got a positive reaction from the crowd as he walked out to his music.

(4) Jamie Noble defeated Scotty 2 Hotty. Scotty got a standing ovation from the floor seats. Noble worked Scotty's arm most of the match. Fine back-and-forth action, and the crowd ate it up. Noble blocked Scotty's signature bulldog and reversed it into his new gutbuster. It looks mean live, as does his dragon clutch finisher. Noble earns the submission victory in the best match taped for Velocity.

(5) The Mexicools beat Vito & Nunzio. Vito worked most of the match, and his offense looked strong. Good action in this match, if a bit slow paced (due to Vito). Mexicools make the comeback with some high risk offense of their own. Psychosis pins Nunzio by reversing a shoulder breaker to an inside cradle.

SMACKDOWN

Tazz's music hits and the crowd explodes. He and Michael Cole work their way out to the commentary desk, followed by Theodore R. Long to announce tonight's featured matches. Not sure any of this will make it to air, as it was followed by a recap of last week on the big screens and the SD! opening video/pyro.

(1) John "Bradshaw" Layfield (w/ Jillian Hall) beat Matt Hardy in a falls-count-anywhere match. JBL makes his way out into the crowd to cut a promo on how there is no better way to start the new year than with a Wrestling God doing what he does on his show. Good stuff. He dares Hardy to start the match in the crowd, and Hardy obliges. Standard stuff here as they brawl from the stands to the announce table (which they break) to the entrance ramp (where JBL's limo is parked). Hardy sets up a splash from a ladder to the limo's hood. Jillian grabs Hardy's legs, allowing JBL to find a trash can to bash Hardy in the head with. Hardy falls from the ladder onto the hood, where JBL pins him. Hardy is made to look feeble yet again (and I, for one, love it) and is forgotten immediately as the Boogeyman shows up. JBL runs, but Jillian isn't fast enough to get away. Boogeyman shoves some worms down her skirt before JBL rescues her.

(2) Mark Henry (w/ Melina) defeats three jobbers in three straight falls. Didn't catch any of their names. Mizark picks up the first fall with a torture rack, the second with an inverted chokeslam, and the third with the World's Strongest Slam after a Banzai Drop. Cole enters the ring to interview Melina after the third fall. She talks about her lawsuit, which draws "slut" chants. She crys, the crowd chants for Batista, and she then whines a little more.

Booker T & Sharmell are shown backstage with Randy Orton. Sharmell gets in Orton's face, and Booker tells her to "take a chill pill." Funny. Orton promises a victory and tells Booker that, after tonight, "you're gonna owe me one."

Mr. Kennedy comes to the ring to do his routine. I believe he said he'll be joining Cole and Tazz as SD!'s new third man in the coming weeks, but he only stayed for one match tonight.

(3) Kid Kash beat Juventud in a Cruiserweight Title Rematch. Before Juvi's entrance, they showed footage of the Kid's attack on Funaki. The live audience was relatively quiet early in the match, and tried to get behind Juvi as it progressed, but never got there. Juvi sold a knee injury much of the way, and attempted a 450 splash. He missed, and the Kid hit his "Dead Level" brainbuster for the three-count to successfully defend his belt.

Booker T & Sharmell are interviewed backstage by Kristal. Kristal asks what married life is like on SD!, to which Booker responds "it's like heaven on earth." Good follow up to their small spat with Orton earlier, and the two of them were fantastic again tonight. Orlando Jordan interrupts the interview "with bass in his voice" (Booker's words). He said something to the effect of Booker being sorry for not picking him to be the replacement in the best-of-seven.

Batista holds a press conference in the locker room to refute Melina's sexual harassment charges. He admits to intimate relations, but she "never said no, never said stop." The World's Strongest Man confronts the World Heavyweight Champion during the press conference. Mizark calls Melina an innocent victim, and asks Big Dave "what if it was me taking advantage of you." A serious Batista kicks Mark Henry out of his locker room after telling him that this isn't the time or the place for that conversation.

(4) Chris Benoit beats Randy Orton by disqualification in match 6 of the best-of-seven for the United States Championship. Teddy Long announced at the top of the show that Orton would be allowed to substitute again tonight. Booker joins Cole & Tazz on commentary, but referee Nick Patrick ejects Sharmell from ringside because of last week's interference. Orton uses this opportunity to take advantage with a standing dropkick, clubs to Benoit's chest, and a knee drop. Orton applies a headlock to Benoit that draws a "let's go Benoit" chant. Benoit fights out of the headlock. He hits the Three Amigos (which draws an "Eddie" chant) and then connects with a diving headbutt from the top turnbuckle but only gets a two-count. Benoit applies the Sharpshooter, and drops into the Crippler Crossface before Orton can reach for the break, but Orton still manages to reach the bottom rope. They trade attempts at their respective finishers, while Orlando Jordan rushes through the crowd to the back of the announce team. OJ jumps Booker, grabs a crutch, and enters the ring with it. OJ smacks Benoit with the crutch, and Nick Patrick DQs Orton/Booker. The series is now tied at 3 apiece.

Simon Dean rides his Dean Machine to the ring. He asks two men to come meet his physical challenge, and is answered by Paul London & Brian Kendrick. They won't be facing him, though, they'll be facing the new team sponsored by the Simon System. Dean announces the team as "Gymini." The Shane Twins come out, and they straightaway toss around the cruiserweight teammates. After dumping Spanky & London from the ring, Gymini and Simon Dean celebrate.

Lashley appears on the screens to announce that he has been invited to the Royal Rumble match. A Lashley video package follows.

(5) MNM beat the Eddie Guerrero Memorial Tag Team (Rey Mysterio & Batista) in a WWE Tag Team Championship Steel Cage Rematch. Before the participants were announced, Tony Chimmel informs us that there will be no escape from the cage and the match will only end by pinfall or submission. The Eddie Guerrero Memorial Tag Team lays an early whoopin' on MNM. MNM blocks being thrown into the steel, but can't handle Big Dave. They try to climb out but Big Dave tosses one to the ground. Rey meets the other on the top rope, and springboards Mercury in a bulldog headlock onto the prone Nitro for two. Rey and Batista put MNM into opposite corners. MNM fights back and one of them hits Batista with a missile dropkick. MNM double-teams Rey and Batista while the crowd chants "Eddie." Big Dave is laid out for a lengthy period here, but Mysterio makes the comeback and climbs to the top of the cage. MNM trade saves (Mercury pushes Nitro out of the way but takes a flying body block from Rey, Nitro breaks up the pinfall); great teamwork by the champions in this match. They double up the attack on Rey, but Batista makes the save and cleans house. At this point, the World's Strongest Man makes his way to ringside. He tries and tries and tries to break into the cage. First he shakes it by the rampway, then he shakes a side panel, and then he spends what felt like ten minutes trying to tear the door off. He cannot muscle the door off its hinges, and changes his strategy to breaking the chain locking the door. After what felt like five more minutes, he finally breaks the chain and climbs into the cage. While this was going on, Batista fought off two MNM comebacks and began to mock Mizark's ineptness. The crowd joined in on the mockery. (No Longer) The World's Strongest Man knocks down Batista and then knocks off the cage door. He then struggles to fit the cage door into the ring. I'll be interested to see how much they edit out of this sequence, as it took a very long time for Mark Henry to both breach the door and then bring it into the steel cage. I guess this next spot was what he was trying to set up. He slammed Big Dave into the steel and then the door into Big Dave, sandwiching him. Mizark then slams the door into Mysterio and MNM picks up the 1-2-3.

In what I assume will be the closing visual for the show, Mark Henry climbed to the top and stood on the steel support celebrating. King of the Cage he is not, however. Rey & Big Dave slowly recovered after MNM left ringside with their titles intact. They competed to see who could draw the best crowd reaction a la Hulk Hogan. I don't know whether on not there was a dark match following this, as we left the building at this point. We could still hear Batista's music playing as we pulled out of the parking lot.

MY THOUGHTS

Not a bad show, but not that great either. The cage match started off well enough, and MNM's teamwork tonight was what you'd expect from tag team champions, but Batista was down for too long - which took away from the action. And Mark Henry took forever to get into the cage. By the end of the match, I don't think anybody in attendance was still interested in this feud. The squash Mark Henry was given made it appear he learned some new stuff in OVW, but he proved that to be false hope in the main event. Orton versus Benoit wasn't even up to par with what they did last week, but WWE set up several storyline possibilities tonight around the US title. Nothing in the opener you haven't seen in every other televised falls-count-anywhere match. This was your typical holding pattern SD! show the week of a RAW pay-per-view.

NOTES

Almost a full house tonight. There were some empties on the side with the television cameras, but that may have been by design of the WWE production crew. The upper deck was tarped off facing away from the cameras, but the rest were all filled. There was a butt in almost every seat.

The crowd wanted to get hot, but no match on the card delivered. This should be most evident during the Cruiserweight Championship match.

BIGGEST BABYFACE POPS
1. Batista
2. Rey Mysterio
3. Chris Benoit
4. Boogeyman
5. Mexicools, Scotty 2 Hotty (both on Velocity)

MOST HEEL HEAT
1. Randy Orton (very strong reaction, but with few boos)
2. JBL
3. Booker T
4. Melina
5. Mr. Kennedy

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