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Torch Today
4/1 NEWS CONTEST: You are invited to send your best shot at a clever April Fool's story for us to post later
Apr 1, 2008 - 12:14:22 AM |
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
A few years ago we had some fun with posting creative reader April Fool's Day "news stories." Believe it or not, we've had some requests to bring it back, so what the heck...
Here's the rules. Send us a four to six paragraph story, no more than 600 words, that is written in a newsy way that sounds believable at first, but with a twist that seems out there.
We will review the submissions and consider printing a few later today. Please make sure all submissions are well-edited (spellchecked and proofread) to keep things reasonably easy on us as we review them.
Submit your April Fool's Day News Stories to pwtorch@gmail.com
If this isn't your thing - here's your warning: We will be labeling any "fake" news satires as "4/1 NEWS" so only those who skim right to the farce headline will be caught off guard.
Our tradition of "Onion-style" fake news stories dates back to our "Hot News" series in 1987 where we led off the first-ever edition of the Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter and every issue for more than a year thereafter with an Onion-style satire or farce of a story. We've brought the "Hot News" back from time to time, including occasionally on Apr. 1 in recent years.
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Torch Today
Latest Articles by Category
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| PRIORITY DRAFT TRADITION CONTINUES: Which ten wrestlers would you start a promotion from scratch with? |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 8/29: Kowalski fundraiser, WWE lawsuit update, Midway Q&A on TNA video game, ROH Notes |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 8/22: Results Wanted, Austin return date, Batista comments on Cena match, Kofi and DDP interviews |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 8/16: Reports Wanted, SD ratings, Henry insightful interview, Ross previews Summerslam, Delaney back in the ring |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 8/10: TNA PPV preview, Mr. Kennedy updates injury status, Flair comments on WWE departure |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 8/2: Results Wanted, SNME preview, McCarthy and Cena interviews, Rhino interview |
| Did You Know? PWTorch VIP members have had access to 63 new exclusive audio shows so far this month? |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 7/26: Reports Wanted, Honky Tonk interview, Wild WWE stories in India, Friday news |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 7/20: Bash PPV preview, CW prez upsets critics, Punk interview, title belt process detailed |
| New Volunteer Contributors Wanted: Apply this week to be part of PWTorch.com! |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 7/12: TNA PPV preview and notes for tonight, Mark Henry interview, Keibler at Comic-Con |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 7/5: WWE's $1.0 million revenue show, Ross comments on Murdoch release, Evans pulled from PWG, Silkin on ROH tix sales |
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| PWTorch Free Podcast |
| 8/29 Mitchell Audio Show: Cena Injury, Rey's Return, Independent Contractors, Jericho-Michaels (75 min.) |
| 8/27 VIP East Coast Audio: Impact - A show that did everything it could do to turn people away from wrestling (79 min.) |
| 8/28 Radican Audio Showcase with Burgan: Foley to TNA, HBK-Jericho capture the heart and mind, Torch Draft, more! (5 min. free clip) |
| 8/28 Daily Keller Hotline: Analysis of lawsuit contending WWE wrestlers should be employees (5 min. free clip) |
| 8/27 VIP East Coast Audio: ECW - An ass backwards show befuddles the hosts, Henry's character takes lousy turn (47 min.) |
| 8/27 Daily Keller Hotline: Foley-TNA Details, Lots more on Gail Kim, Cena returns, Nash controversy, more (20 min.) |
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LATEST PRO WRESTLING TORCH NEWSLETTER #1040 (18 PAGES)
This issue begins with a cover story by Wade Keller looking at the final scene of SummerSlam and why it's bad for WWE not in and of itself, but due to the context it's put in... In-depth coverage of the WWE SummerSlam PPV including Keller's match report with star ratings and the newsletter-exclusive Roundtable Reviews and Reader Reax... Jason Powell's "Page 2 Buzz" with scoops and insider analysis on Mick Foley, TNA's expiring contracts, and more... Bruce Mitchell's Memo further reviews the latest Ric Flair DVD... WWE Newswire, TNA Newswire, and ROH Newswire with insider news, big story analysis, and notebook tidbits... Plus Keller's reports on Raw, Smackdown, and Impact, the Top 5 Stories of the Week, and more... PDF EXCLUSIVE features include the Jon Mezzera's Weekly Hits & Misses and Greg Parks' look at SummerSlam and Smackdown...
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| Articles Grouped by Category |
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| Torch Today |
| PRIORITY DRAFT TRADITION CONTINUES: Which ten wrestlers would you start a promotion from scratch with? |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 8/29: Kowalski fundraiser, WWE lawsuit update, Midway Q&A on TNA video game, ROH Notes |
| TORCH NEWS TICKER 8/22: Results Wanted, Austin return date, Batista comments on Cena match, Kofi and DDP interviews |
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| WWE News |
| WWE News: Jakks Pacific claims WWE lawsuit dismissed; WWE to continue suit |
| WWE News: A YouTube video puts new spin on Shawn Michaels-Chris Jericho saga |
| Ratings News: John Cena surgery a success, estimated time out of the ring determined (w/Keller's Analysis) |
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| TNA News |
| Interview Highlights: Chris Jericho talks about Guitar Hero, Reinventing his Character, Short Tights |
| TNA News: Details on Gail Kim's reasons for leaving TNA come to surface this week (w/Keller Analysis) |
| TNA News: WWE legend Mick Foley agrees to terms with TNA, set to debut as soon as September (w/Keller Analysyis) |
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| ROH News |
| Interview Highlights: Roderick Strong on his stint with TNA, lagging promo skills, indys working together |
| 7/25 ROH in Toronto: "That show was the first thing to make me proud to be a wrestling fan in a LONG time." |
| ROH News: Lance Storm interview on working with ROH wrestlers and injuries in pro wrestling |
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| Other News |
| Torch Indy Weekend Preview: Steen in IWS, Shiozaki in FIP, Delirious in Elite Pro |
| Torch Indy Weekend Report: Sabin & Shelley, Lynn, Jake Roberts, ROH results |
| ETC. News: Jesse Ventura in talks for a court show, according to TV Week (w/Keller Analysis) |
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| PPV Reports |
| CALDWELL'S WWE SUMMERSLAM REPORT 8/17: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live PPV |
| KELLER'S WWE SUMMERSLAM REPORT 8/17: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live PPV event |
| KELLER'S TNA HARD JUSTICE PPV REPORT 8/10: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of event - Samoa Joe vs. Booker T in cage |
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| TV Reports |
| 8/28 TNA IMPACT Review by Wilkenfeld: Sting steals the show |
| CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 8/28: Nash vs. Angle, Sting speaks, Jarrett teases return, Knockouts in main event |
| CALDWELL'S ECW TV REPORT 8/26: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of WWE's Sci-Fi show |
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| Arena Reports |
| 8/24 WWE Smackdown in Canton, Ohio: Triple H & Undertaker vs. Khali & MVP, R-Truth vs. Carlito, Michelle vs. Maryse |
| 8/24 TNA in Wichita, Ks.: Samoa Joe vs. A.J. Styles, Morgan vs. Kip, Knockouts Title Match, Lethal vs. Dutt |
| 8/24 WWE in Bethlehem, Pa.: Cody & Ted vs. Cryme Tyme, Jericho & Kane vs. Cena & Batista |
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| MMA / UFC Coverage |
| UFC News: Paul Heyman comments on Brock Lesnar's controversial post-fight antics last Saturday |
| KELLER'S UFC 87 LIVE PPV REPORT; On-site ongoing coverage of Lesnar's second UFC fight, full card coverage |
| UFC 87 PREVIEW: Fight analysis, predictions, odds for Lesnar vs. Herring, GSP vs. Fitch, Huerta vs. Florian |
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| KELLER'S TAKE |
| VIP - KELLER: More crazy G.M. ideas for WWE to consider (PWTorch Newsletter #1037) |
| KELLER: An overhaul is in order for Raw before ratings drop further - several specific suggestions |
| KELLER: McMahon Returns for That? Nothing Funnier than a DUI! Let Me Shift So You Can Hit Me! |
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| MITCHELL'S TAKE |
| MITCHELL'S BLOG: Notes From the 2008 NWA Fanfest - Ric Flair |
| WWE News: Flair's departure from WWE amicable, nostalgia convention circuit could be next |
| VIP - MITCHELL'S MEMO: DVD Liner Notes Part 3: Nature Boy Ric Flair - The Definitive Collection |
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| MCNEILL'S TAKE |
| Ready To Roll! McNEILL previews WWE SummerSlam |
| Rap It Up: McNEILL previews TNA Hard Justice! |
| VIP - MCNEILL FACTOR: Twenty Years of Summerslam, part two |
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| CALDWELL'S TAKE |
| CORNER CUBE TUESDAY 8/26 - Raw delivered highlights, but was heavy on filler |
| CORNER CUBE MONDAY 8/18 - Shawn Michaels showed strength, not weakness by not attacking Jericho |
| CORNER CUBE WEDNESDAY 8/13 - Finally, Matt Striker has found his calling with ECW on Tuesday nights |
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| RADICAN'S TAKE |
| TALES FROM THE PULPIT 7/23: McGuinness & Jericho setting standard for heels in 2008 |
| DEJ's Kevin: Covering Pro Wrestling Ohio - The Ladder Match for the Heirloom Swords Part I |
| TALES FROM THE PULPIT 7/21: The man who talks poopy and defies fire can’t escape the windshield of doom! |
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| The Specialists |
| ECW Storylines and Feuds - A look at the ECW Championship Scramble and the Finlay-Knox feud |
| CAREER PATH: Christian Cage's career high point, low point, and what if he had never left WWE? |
| UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 8/28 TNA IMPACT: What I noticed on the show that you might not have |
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| Guest Editorials |
| EDITORIAL: What's wrong with Raw this year? A lot. But one core problem trumps the rest |
| EDITORIAL: Tag Team Divisions will not get over until squash matches return |
| EDITORIAL: C.M. Punk needs a prominent program to make him the star of Raw |
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| Torch Feedback |
| DRAFT PICKS - Batch #5 featuring top picks of Sting, Rob Van Dam, Edge, plus Danielson, Shelley, Bourne, Briscoes |
| DRAFT PICKS - Batch #4 featuring top picks of Nigel, Edge, Awesome Kong, plus CIMA, Bourne, Hogan, Ross, Kim |
| DRAFT PICKS - Batch #3 featuring top picks of Mick Foley, Brian Danielson, John Cena, plus Abyss, Shiozaki, Teddy Hart |
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| Ask the Editor |
| Ask the Editor: Wouldn't incorporating MMA-style holds into pro wrestling matches just be trying to be something it's not? |
| ASK THE EDITOR: Have the Michaels-Batista promos crossed a line with use of insider terms, references to "jobs"? |
| ASK THE EDITOR: Why do wrestlers in WWE refer to wrestling as "the business" and not "the sport"? |
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| DVDs - VGames - Books |
| WEEKEND DVD SPOTLIGHT: SHIMMER Vol. 18 (Kong-Busic,Del Rey-MsChif) |
| RADICAN: Al Snow discusses his wrestling career, philosophy, time in OVW, and more in new interview |
| DVD Review: ROH "Glory By Honor VI, N2" with Kenta vs. Misawa, 110307 |
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| Torch Flashbacks |
| KELLER'S TNA REPORT 5 YRS. AGO (8-28-03): Truth, D-Lo, Abyss, Sandman, Raven, Styles, Dusty |
| KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 5 YRS. AGO (8-25-03): Gail Kim vs. Trish, Jericho headlines Raw against... Shane McMahon? Linda a guest on Highlight Reel, |
| WWE Smackdown Reax #1: "This is the worst wrestling show I have seen in a long time with booking that defies all logic and common sense." |
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| VIP Exclusive Features |
| 8/29 Mitchell Audio Show: Cena Injury, Rey's Return, Independent Contractors, Jericho-Michaels (75 min.) |
| 8/27 VIP East Coast Audio: Impact - A show that did everything it could do to turn people away from wrestling (79 min.) |
| 8/28 Daily Keller Hotline: Analysis of lawsuit contending WWE wrestlers should be employees (5 min. free clip) |
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| Torch Trivia |
| Torch Trivia: How much do you know about Champion vs. Champion matches? |
| Torch Trivia: How much do you know about SummerSlam - Part 3 |
| Torch Trivia: How much do you know about SummerSlam - Part 2 |
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| Torch Instant Polls |
| POLL: What are your thoughts on the WWE Championship Scramble concept? |
| POLL: Should the TNA Knockouts women wrestlers be paid in the same ballpark as the male wrestlers? |
| POLL: Who is your pick as the MVP of the August 11 edition of WWE Raw? |
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| PWTorch Free Podcast |
| 8/29 Mitchell Audio Show: Cena Injury, Rey's Return, Independent Contractors, Jericho-Michaels (75 min.) |
| 8/27 VIP East Coast Audio: Impact - A show that did everything it could do to turn people away from wrestling (79 min.) |
| 8/28 Radican Audio Showcase with Burgan: Foley to TNA, HBK-Jericho capture the heart and mind, Torch Draft, more! (5 min. free clip) |
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| Annual Obituaries |
| SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 1999 - Muchnick, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Renegade... |
| SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2000 - Solie, Albright, Duncum, Tsuruta, Blue Demon, Al Costello |
| SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2001: Johnny Valentine, Terry Gordy, Chris Adams, Bertha Faye, Helen Hart |
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