WWE Raw Flashback - 5 years ago
March 3, 2008 (post-Leap Year)
Report by Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

THE BIG STORY: WRESTLEMANIA CRUISE CONTROL

The big matches are all set, and next week is the big three hour special WrestleMania Revisited edition of Raw, so this was a maintenance show that reinforced existing storylines with a few key progressions to keep the show somewhat newsworthy. The three key plot advancements were Shawn Michaels expressing a desire to withdraw from his match against Flair; JBL beating up Hornswoggle after Finlay admitted he fooled Vince McMahon into thinking Hornswoggle was his son; and Jeff Hardy and Chris Jericho establishing a rivalry headed into the Money in the Bank match. Some details on how each played out:

-Michaels addressed Flair after their tag match. He said he has to get something off of his chest. He said he appreciates everything he said last week, but he can't do it. He said he doesn't want the match at WrestleMania. He said knows Flair is going to say he's feeling better than ever, but he doesn't want to go down in history as the guy who ended the career of the Nature Boy. He said he recognizes that Flair thinks is arrogant to say that. "I love you. You know I do, but you need to understand something. This is WrestleMania, and I am the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels, the Show Stopper. If you keep pushing for this match at WrestleMania, you leave me no choice - it is your show that is going to be stopped." He dropped the mic and left the ring. Flair stared back at him.

-Finlay came out to an upbeat remix of his entrance music. Vince McMahon walked out onto the stage. He asked if it was true that he conspired with his family to deceive him. Finlay said it's true, and added that Vince isn't good enough to be Hornswoggle's father. Vince said JBL couldn't be there tonight as he had transportation problems, but he did arrange for a satellite hook-up. JBL appeared on the big screen. He said he wished he could be there, but he felt it more important to be there with his son. The camera panned back to a scene of Hornswoggle lying in bed whimpering. JBL said Hornswoggle is innocent, and he prays on the innocent. "Quite frankly, it's fun," he said. Finlay demanded he come to the ring. JBL said he'll fight him, but on his terms - at WrestleMania. JBL helped Hornswoggle sit up, then slapped him across the face. Finlay called him a "piece of crap" and vowed to tear his heart right out of his body. Hornswoggle cried. JBL said nobody wants to see what he's about to do to Hornswoggle. He turned the lights out. A sound of Hornswoggle taking a beating ensued. Back in the ring, Finlay stared at the big screen and the camera zoomed in.

-For Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel, they joined Jericho's ring entrance in progress with him actually entering the ring. He played to the crowd to a tepid response, then introduced it with a little pryo blasting behind him. He said his talk show spawned a bunch of imitations: "The Cutting Edge, Carlito's Cabana, Are You Smarter than Snitsky, Cooking with Goldberg. All of those ones. We're back, baby!" He talked about the Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania. He introduced Jeff Hardy, noting that many see him as the favorite. Jericho acknowledged the fans expressing their love for him. He added that he beat him last week and threw to clips of his win. Hardy was about to talk, but Jericho stopped him. He said he understands where he was coming from. He said he can climb a ladder, do a Swanton, crash through half a dozen tables, dip himself in molten lava, and shoot laser beams out of his eyes, but it won't stop Y2J from becoming the victor at WrestleMania. A loud "Hardy, Hardy" chant broke out. Hardy told Jericho that a lot has changed since he was last around. He said in the past he might have nodded, wished him luck, and walked away, "but I'm not the dude anymore." He said he's going to do whatever it takes to beat him and win the Money in the Bank match and go on to win the title. Jericho said he knows what it's like to be champion and what it takes, so he's no longer his friend or his peer, but instead is his target. Hardy said he couldn't agree more. Hardy reached out for a handshake. Jericho accepted it. Hardy quickly yanked Jericho and DDT'd him.

So overall, the show furthered some key feuds, but the Cena-Orton-Hunter storylines felt like phoned in filler. A mixed bag. Not bad, but not one of the better Raw's lately.

KELLER'S RAW RAMBLINGS

I dare Triple H to try to make it through four weeks of his life as a character on TV and as himself off camera not injecting any sarcasm into any comments he makes. It's just so overbearing and single-note predictable that he's usually insufferable. There's a place for it, but it just struck me in the opening skit this week how much it is the centerpiece of his character's personality… Jerry Lawler said the 5-7 Brandon Hill and the 5-8 Floyd Mayweather were "exactly the same size" right after their heights were announced. I'm glad he wasn't an engineer… It's too bad to see Trevor Murdoch & Lance Cade lose in just three minutes to Shawn Michaels & Ric Flair. WWE doesn't trust many of their acts to hold an audience while wrestling more than two or three minutes these days. They might be right, but it's a shame because they could mean more if they weren't treated as jobbers 80 percent of the time... On the Playboy cover, Maria's facial expression doesn't convey her WWE persona at all. She's beautiful, but that shot looks like a generic Playboy model, losing the charm and innocence that makes Maria stand out in WWE... The Hornswoggle beating by JBL would have been left entirely to the imagination. The audio-only beating was a little corny. If JBL pulled the plug on the camera instead of switching off the light, it would have played better… The Jericho-Hardy segment accentuated the notion that Hardy effectively filled Jericho's slot while Jericho's videos played for two months…

Box Score Basics by Wade Keller

They show opened with John Cena, Triple H, and Randy Orton all standing in a room together. William Regal announced that to keep things interesting, he was going to put Cena in charge this week, and the other in charge the next two weeks, of booking the others in a match. Orton suggested they each agree to give each other three weeks off. Cena had other things in mind.

(1) The Big Show beat Brandon "The Thrill" Hill. Hill was brought in to be a scrub boxer who was about the same size as Floyd Mayweather. Show destroyed him in 2:00.

Afterward, Show jawed with Mayweather on the big screen much too long. It was a disaster. Mayweather kept repeating scripted lines clumsily and didn't come across as a star at all.

(2) Shawn Michaels & Ric Flair beat Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch in 3:00 with a double figure-four tapout. Afterward Michaels said he had second thoughts about facing Flair at WM because he knows he'll go all out and he might end his career.

Backstage Cena walked up to Regal and told him he was booking Orton vs. Triple H in the main event. He also kicked Regal out of "his" office.

(3) Umaga beat Super Crazy in 1:00. Regal joined Ross and Lawler for a very short stint of color commentary. They talked about Batista facing Umaga at WrestleMania..

Chris Jericho hosted a Highlight Reel with Jeff Hardy as his guest. Jericho had a couple good snarky lines and talked over Hardy, hinting at a heel turn, then Hardy said he'll do anything it takes to win Money in the Bank at WM. When Jericho offered a handshake, Hardy DDT'd him. The crowd was definitely behind Hardy over Jericho.

(4) John Cena pinned Mr. Kennedy in 9:00. Nothing special. Demeaning to Kennedy to be a virtual mid-show jobber like this. It also waters down Cena to have him out there so often wrestling meaningless matches like this. (*1/4)

Jerry Lawler stood mid-ring to unveil Maria's Playboy cover. He announced Snoop Dog would M.C. Bunnymania at WrestleMania. Maria and Candice Michelle came out. When Lawler revealed the Playboy cover, it had cut-out Santino Marella faces pasted over her face, boobs, and crotch. Santino came out laughing, saying when fans try to imagine Maria naked now, they'll see his face in their mind and have "an erectile dysfunction." Maria stood up to Santino. When he grabbed her arm, Lawler intervened and knocked Santino out of the ring. The crowd chanted "Jerry, Jerry." An even bigger cover unrolled from the rafters, unvandalized.

A clip aired of Cena at a NASCAR race.

(5) Carlito pinned Cody Rhodes in 4:00 to qualify for the Money in the Bank match. Fast-paced, verging on rushed. (3/4*)

Ross interviewed Mayweather by satellite. He wasn't any better here. Some fans booed; the rest were indifferent. He said WWE is going to become the MME - Money Mayweather Entertainment.

Mike Adamle introduced a Hall of Fame video which revealed Mae Young will be entered this year.

JBL didn't show up to meet Finlay in the ring. Vince McMahon did. He asked Finlay to confirm he conspired with his family to fool him into thinking Hornswoggle was his son. Finlay said yes. They went to a video of JBL next to Hornswoggle's hospital bed. He beat up Hornswoggle after he turned off the lights, so it was all audio, no visuals.

(6) Randy Orton wrestled Triple H to a no contest in 7:00. Cena joined Ross and Lawler on commentary. Cena put Hunter over as "the total package." In the end, Cena ran into the ring and knocked into Hunter and gave him an FU. Orton then gave Cena an RKO. Blah finish. (*1/2)

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