WWE RAW REPORT
SEPTEMBER 3, 2007
TAPED 9/1/07
AIRED ON USA NETWORK
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, PWTORCH EDITOR

-The show opened with a video of Randy Orton kicking John Cena's father last week with creepy scary music added for effect.

-After the Raw opening, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the show from ringside. Ross usually stresses "live!" so much that its absence is noticeable when they're pretaped.

1 -- UMAGA vs. JEFF HARDY - Intercontinental Title match

Umaga took over after an early flurry by Hardy and dominated the opening few minutes. After tossing Hardy to the floor, they cut to a break at 4:00.

[Commercial Break]

Umaga kicked Hardy off the ring apron during the break with Ross and Lawler raved about. Then he applied a nerve hold. Ross said he applied "so strategically" that it could reveal this wild man is "more in control than we think." Umaga followed up with a Samoan drop. Jeff made a comeback attempt at 10:00. When he went for a sunset flip, Umaga set out of it, but Hardy avoided the butt splash. He followed with a dropkick and scored a two count. Umaga caught Hardy in mid-air and gave him a corkscrew clam for a near fall at 12:00. When Umaga went to the top rope, Hardy knocked Umaga off balance and to the mat. Hardy made the cover and scored the three count; instantly afterward Umaga powered out and sent Hardy flying through the ropes to the floor. Hardy sold the win with stunned still disbelief, then celebrated with the belt and Umaga made that one "crazy wildman" face he makes.

WINNER: Hardy in 13:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Okay match. Nothing more.

-Ross and Lawler plugged Hunter's return to the ring on Raw against Carlito later, plus the McMahon family confrontation.

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired for ECW on Sci-Fi tomorrow night plugging C.M. Punk challenging John Morrison. Ross had to pretend he didn't know who won even though WWE.com has reported the results since the match was taped on Saturday night.

-They replayed Jeff Hardy's IC Title win. Then they showed Umaga tearing up the announce table and the ringside steps at ringside during the break.

-Backstage, Vince McMahon bragged to Coach about the legal defense team having a serious discussion behind him. He said the best defense is a good offense. Before he could elaborate, Carlito knocked on the door and walked in. Carlito had a new, edgier look, but I can't put my finger on what is different. Vince said maybe he shouldn't have his match against Hunter later. He said he was thinking instead of having Carlito & Umaga vs. Triple H instead so Umaga could release his rage. Carlito said that was a cool idea.

-Santino Marella and Maria talked backstage. Maria told Santino he should have checked with her before telling G.M. William Regal she was ready for a rematch. She said she was still hurting from last week. Santino said she'll be fine because after he gets a things off his chest, he will be right there to protect her.

-Elsewhere backstage, William Regal told a stagehand that the IC Title match was a great way to start the show. Regal asked if he had seen Cena. He said when he does, let him know right away. Melina approached Regal and talked about their meeting in July. She whispered something to him which caused him to make faces of disgust. He said that was filthy and disgusting. Stephanie McMahon walked up to Melina and raised her arm at her. Melina cowered and turned, but Linda McMahon was there. She gave her a look of death and slapped her. Linda's acting was better than Steph's there. Ron Simmons walked up and said, "Damn!" The crowd popped.

[Commercial Break]

-Santino, with his arm in a sling, walked to the ring with Maria. He said when his arm is better he will embarrass Simmons worse than "that senator who was looking for boyfriend love in the toilet." He said he was there to "add some class to, how do you say, this disgusting dump of a city." That was really funny - delivery was spot on. He's really good. Sandman's music played and he walked into the stands. The match was sponsored back to back by Oxy acne cream and Just for Men hair coloring. If it's not one thing, it's another. Marella said Sandman is jealous that because "I make-a-love-a to beautiful Maria and you make-a-love-a to your stick." Sandman hit Marella with his stick and beat him to the back. Maria lost her ringside helper.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- BETH PHOENIX vs. MARIA

Maria dove at Beth to start the match. Beth caught her and threw down easily. After the third attempt to jump on Beth, Beth dropped Maria throat-first over the top rope, then fisherman's suplexed her for the win. She said after the match she is cashing in her Women's Title opportunity (won at Summerslam) at Unforgiven. She said she is the ultimate combination of strength, confidence, class, and beauty - the uber-diva, the glamazon, Beth Phoenix. She said she wants to show Maria "how a glamazon gets the job done." She gave her a second leaping fisherman's suplex. Candice Michelle ran to the ring to stop her from inflicting more damage on Maria. They had a staredown. Beth backed off with an evil, smug grin on her face.

WINNER: Phoenix in 1:00.

STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Fine for what it was, which wasn't much, but it communicated that Beth is a powerful killer heel "diva" division wrestler.

-They showed photos of John Cena's father's black eye from the kick Orton gave him last week on Raw.

[Commercial Break]

-Regal stood center-ring and explained how Orton was inspired to show how much he wanted a title shot by kicking John Cena's father. They went to a video package. The crowd booed after it played. Regal said Orton was supposed to be there, but because of what transpired last week, he gave him the evening off. He said he does have him hooked up via satellite. Orton said he wishes he was there to confront the people who think what he did last week was sick. He invited people to call him sick and deranged because Cena did that to himself. Orton said he wonders if Cena wants that rematch now. "I have a feeling you do," he said. Regal said at Unforgiven, it will indeed be a rematch between Cena and Orton. Orton thanked Regal and said he deserves it. Orton looked piercingly into the camera and said, "John, I hope your father never forgives you for what you let happen last week." After an average go-home promo the week before Summerslam, Orton has really turned it up the last two weeks with stellar convincing performances as a despicable heel who's more than just going through the verbal motions.

Cena stepped out onto the stage to a mix of cheers and boos, but mostly silent anticipation of what he was about to say. It's amazing how different a crowd reaction is when there's no intro music to prompt the pop. He made his way to the ring. Regal looked worried. He told Cena that he's just doing his job at G.M. Regal told Cena not to do anything foolish he might regret. Cena held his title belt up and looked shaky and on edge. He rubbed his face, then pulled out his necklace, kissed the pendant, and then attacked Regal with a vengeance. He tackled him on the announce table and then applied a vicious STFU on the floor while yelling barbarically. Officials pried Cena off of Regal, who showed an edgier side of himself as he walked away, almost in a trance. Regal just lay on the mat in a heap as medics tended to him. Ross said the range of emotions going through his body have driven him to actions the likes of which we've never seen from him before. Ross said if that happened outside of the arena, it'd be criminal assault.

[Commercial Break]

HOUR TWO

3 -- BRIAN KENDRICK & PAUL LONDON vs. CHARLIE HAAS & SHELTON BENJAMIN - No. 1 Contender's Match

Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade joined Ross and Lawler at ringside. Murdoch has the very best hair style in pro wrestling - maybe the world. It's strange for WWE to open the second hour without a top star out there for a big match or talking segment. It's a refreshing slight shake-up to the stale, predictable formula format for Raw. Kendrick won clean with Sliced Bread #2 after a high-energy shot match. Cade & Murdoch gave them a standinig ovation afterward. They entered the ring. Lawler told Ross to give them the benefit of the doubt. C&M shook hands nicely with K&L.

WINNERS: Kendrick & London in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

-They cut back to Regal being examined by medics. Regal looked like he had been trampled by a dinosaur. Shane McMahon walked by. He told Regal it looks like it's been an interesting night so far.

-A plug aired for Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali at Unforgiven.

[Commercial Break]

-A vignette aired promoting C.M. Punk and then Ross plugged Punk challenging Morrison on ECW TV tomorrow night. Punk is my dark horse pick to be the McMahon "bastard child." McMahon has been pushing how he wants his son to be a chip off the old block obsessed with money and women and the "drugs, sex, rock and roll lifestyle." Who better to be a complete letdown than Punk to McMahon while also elevating Punk - someone they'd be wise to push at this point for a number of reasons. (Hey, C.M. can even stand for "Child of McMahon.")

-Carlito gave Umaga a pep talk of sorts, convincing him that Triple H was laughing at him to get him riled up for revenge.

-Vince McMahon then met with his team of lawyers. Vince stressed that as far as the money they have in their Swiss account, "that's my money and no one can go there." He said his family members are greed-motivated. He wanted to know if his trust funds can be broken. Vince told Coach that since Regal is beat up, he'll have to step up again. Coach said he's always there for him. Coach shot Vince a look that suggested he feels taken for granted. One lawyer said Vince might want to consider a settlement. Vince blew up and fired him for suggesting a defensive strategy. He said he wants to go for the jugular. "I want blood," he said. "I want my family to bleed." He said when that woman shows up with his bastard child, he wants the lawyers to take their boots to them big time.

[Commercial Break]

-Daivari and Jillian Hall stood in the ring with Lilian Garcia. Hall said she has a new album coming out soon and it's going to blow Lilian's new album right out of the water. She said she just had a dental visit and had her wisdom teeth pulled out. She seemed to still suffering effects from novacane (hopefully not purchased online). She said she's still going to perform, though - a very special performance. She gave Daivari a bloody bandage from her mouth. Daviari looked disgusted. Then he and Hall performed a duet. It was as bad as you'd imagine - and then some - but as intended and in a good way.

4 -- CODY RHODES & MICKIE JAMES vs. DAIVARI & JILLIAN HALL

Hall cried when she took a blow to her sore jaw. Daivari tagged in, followed by Cody. Daivari applied one of those obviously easy to get out of headlocks that Rhodes pretended to struggle in, yet never threw any punches or elbows while in it, instead just flailing his arms and wriggling around. A few seconds later, we got a second dose of the same thing for a few seconds. Cody came back with a quick bulldog. James and Hall brawled in the ring and to the floor. Cody then DDT'd Daivari for a pin.

WINNER: Rhodes & James in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

[Commercial Break]

5 -- CARLITO & UMAGA vs. TRIPLE H

Carlito jump-started the match by attacking Hunter from behind as he stared down Umaga. Hunter fired back with a clothesline. He tossed Carlito around the ring, then played hotshot tough guy by calling Umaga to come on in and get some. He shoved Umaga in the chest. Umaga entered. Carlito tried to attack Hunter from behind, but that gave a chance for Umaga to beat on Hunter on the mat. The two-on-one attack prompted the ref to call for the bell. The crowd booed the quick DQ finish to their main event for the evening. Ross defended the ref, saying, "You can't blame the ref for that call."

WINNER: Hunter in 2:00 via DQ.

STAR RATING: 1/4*

-Afterward, Carlito and Umaga worked over Hunter. Umaga hit a diving headbutt off the ropes to Hunter's chest. Carlito held a chair in front of Hunter's face. Umaga charged butt-first into the corner. Hunter moved and then hit Carlito with two chairshots. He followed up with a barrage of chairshots to Umaga including an unprotected series of shots to his skull. Good timing with Nightline doing a piece on concussions Chris Benoit suffered and the potential of those leading to "diminished capacity" to judge his actions in his final days. Offense. Not defense. Just remember that policy in life. Hunter pulled out his sledgehammer, the weapon that has done more to "expose the business" than the Tough Enough series he so loathed. he rammed Umaga in the head with the sledgehammer, then posed for the crowd and yelled. Carlito stood on the rampway and watched as Umaga was beaten into a 30 day suspension. He came up bleeding, so Hunter beat him down for another minute or two.

-They showed Vince and Coach and his lawyers heading toward the entrance tunnel.

[Commercial Break]

-Ross and Lawler plugged the Unforgiven line-up

-Vince, Coach, and his remaining attorneys walked into the ring. Vince said, "My name is Vincent Kennedy McMahon, but you can call me Mr. McMahon." He said he is chairman of the board of WWE and the patriarch of the McMahon family. He said his family is all about the money. Or moa-nayy, as he put it. He said they want a handout. WWE's old happy music played and Linda walked out looking anything but happy. She has Stephanie's walk. Or vice-versa. Never noticed that before. Coach held the ropes open for her. Vince looked disgusted at her. He asked how she expects to get her cut without her attorney. Linda said she is the CEO of WWE and she's got money and she's got plenty of it. "I don't need your money," she said. Vince smiled in relief. She said, "Thanks to your assistant parading all of these women you've supposedly slept with, I could take you to court and take you for everything you've got." Vince said she doesn't understand that he worked his fingers to the bone to build this empire and he was out in the road on those loney nights. He said he thinks Shane and Stephanie understand.

Stephanie's music played and she walked out. Vince said before she speaks, he wants everyone to know she's the volatile one in the family. He tried to remind her of the wonderful times they've had together. He said he put a video together of their times together from kindergarten through college - tender moments daddy's girl has had with him. "A Father's Love," he called it. It featured Vince throwing Steph around the ring and choking her in their WM20 match. After it finished, Vince was enraged. He turned to Coach, who said it was sabotage. Hunter appeared on the big screen and swore he had nothing to do with it. He then said, "Hey, Steph." She smiled back. Steph said that despite what was on that video, she loves him. She said, though, he's sick and needs help and if he doesn't get it, he should step down at chairman of the board. Before Vince could respond, Shane's music played.

Shane walked to the ring. Vince smiled and said, "How about it! My son, Shane!" Vince said surely Shane doesn't want him broke and to step down. Shane said it depends on which version of him he's talking about. He called him at times a lunatic. When the crowd chanted "asshole, asshole," Vince said, "The next time you call my wife that name, I'm going to beat the hell out of ya'." Shane said they're out there to stand behind him, but he has to do his part. He said he needs to stop embarrassing the family. He said it's time to think from his grandfather down to his grandchildren. "You are sick and you need to work out your issues," he said. "Change is up to you." Shane said he thinks he can change and it can all work out. Shane said he's always wanted a brother. Steph's reaction was pretty funny.

Vince said he wanted to confress that all of the womanizing he bragged about was exaggerated lying on his part. He said it was tough to admit that. He said he has been unfaithful to Linda only once in his life. Linda looked, well, slightly skeptical. He said it was with this woman who has given birth to his "bastard son." He said even though it was only one time he strayed, he does feel a kindred spirit and humbling himself before them. He got down on one knee and said, "I would like to vow I will be a better father, a better husband, a better human."

Mr. Kennedy's music interrupted. He stepped out onto the stage and down the ramp, shaking his head. Coach asked him what he was doing there. Kennedy said he's there because everything happens for a reason. He said there was a reason he came face-to-face with him the night he found out his son is a WWE superstar and that he had his middle name and that he wanted his son to be revealed next week which just happens to be his hometown of Green Bay, Wisc. Kennedy said, "You know why, dad? I am your son." Stephanie walked up to him and said, "You may be a bastard, but you're not my dad's bastard." She asked for proof. He said he doesn't need proof. He said what he needs is the undivided attention of his father. He told Vince that those people want to change him, but he shouldn't listen to them because he doesn't need to change. Kennedy said if he hadn't been that egomaniacal lunatic like they say he is, he wouldn't have become the greatest WWE superstar in history. He said Vince inspired him. He said he can listen to his family who want to hold him down and take his money or listen to him, the son who cares and isn't going to judge him. Steph interrupted and said, "Dad, tell me you're not believing this." He shouted his "Miss-terrr-Kenn-e-deeee!" line, then added "McMaaahhhhnnn." It wouldn't been funnier if he added a "dash" in between.

A man walked out onto the stage and said he represents the mother of his child. He said the DNA tests are back and they reveal that the son is not Mr. Kennedy. Vince and Coach looked at him in disgust. Vince demanded to know who it is. The guy said it will be revealed next week on Raw - the same night WWE faces the first Monday Night Football game of the season. He then pulled out a sheet of paper and read Vince a clue. "Things are looking up," he said. Ross said, "What the hell does that mean?" Ross and Lawler wondered what that meant as the show ended.

[Torch art credit (c) PWTorch.com]

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