TORCH FLASHBACK ROYAL RUMBLE PPV COUNTDOWN
WWE ROYAL RUMBLE PPV
January 23, 2000
New York, N.Y. at MSG

-- Read the Rumble 2000 PPV Report

Bruce Mitchell, columnist (8.0)

The WWF continues to do something very refreshing. Instead of trying to show how clever they are, or trying to fool people, the WWF puts over the right people to both keep their fans happy and build buys for the next series of shows. Foley goes out a legend, Triple H's Heel of the Year character is even stronger, The Rock is The Rock, and the Big Show is in the way. Logical, and with strong, unselfish performances along the way.

The Tazz segment was too short, but Kurt Angle may very well be wrestling's next rising star, and I look forward to seeing these two throw suplexes in the future. A couple of the spots in the table match were way too dangerous, particularly the powerbomb through the table perched on the steel ringsteps, but it was good for what it was. The Dudleys fit in the WWF a lot better than first seemed possible. It's time for Chyna to get out of the ring and become the Ninth Wonder of the World again. Jericho needs to move onto someone else, like X-Pac, maybe.

The Rumble once again exposed the true lack of depth in the line-up, but it too was very logically laid out. The title match was a very good brawl. I can't believe I'm saying this, but with the strength of Triple H carrying her, Stephanie McMahon has a chance to be this generation's Miss Elizabeth.

Having said that, there is no more stupid bullsh-- in all of wrestling than Mick Foley's Bag O' Thumbtacks. Here's this intense fight that grinds to a halt because one guy decides to spread thumbtacks on the floor for no real reason. That happens all the time in fights. Why didn't Hunter just roll out of the ring? It's bad enough you know that Foley is taking that backdrop, because no one else will, but since when does a tough guy quit fighting because he has thumbtacks sticking in him? Sure it hurts, but it's that "Owww!" kind of hurt. Putting Foley's eyesight at risk for a wrestling finish is, again, stupid.

I was a little in shock, so it took me a while to realize that I really liked the Miss Royal Rumble contest. After five years of listening to backed up misogynists yell some version or other of "Show your tits," the WWF gave them all exactly what they asked for. They even warned them in advance there would be nudity. Never has the old Chinese curse "May you get what you want" been more apt.

And speaking of "Chinese," could someone remind Jerk King that Asians aren't retarded children? Lawler didn't even wait for the hospital report as he gloated over Taka Michinoku's dangerous fall.

Jason Powell, assistant editor (7.0)

For all of those guys who spent more money on the Royal Rumble than they have on a real woman this year... For all of the guys who jockeyed for position at their PPV party so they could be the lucky bachelor to press his lips on, and waggle his tongue at, the TV screen... For all of those guys who spend the majority of their time voting in on-line polls to crown wrestling's hottest babe... For all of the 30 year-old guys who prefer to watch the PPV alone in their bedroom/parents basement waiting for a glimpse of B.B.'s breasts to spark their self-inflicted sex life for the week, I hope you are scarred for life. Mae Young gave you exactly what you deserved. Frankly, your parents are sick and tired of you and those strange pieces of tissue paper you have stuck to your Wrestling Eye pin-ups of Terri Runnels and Jackie. Take this as the WWF's way of telling you to get a real girlfriend and move on with your life.

The Rumble match was a big disappointment. Vince McMahon should put as much thought into the Rumble as he does WrestleMania. There should be six or seven wrestlers set up as potential winners who would be believable contenders at WrestleMania. Better yet, forget having the Rumble winner go onto WrestleMania. The final four wrestlers should wrestle in a four-way match at the Feb. PPV to determine who gets the shot at WrestleMania. Give the winner of the Rumble a shot at the WWF Title the next night on Raw. This year's Rumble was slow, predictable, and downright boring.

M.S.G. has a reputation for having tough crowds. From what I saw, they were a spirited bunch but the lack of hyped-up ring entrances (because of the way that the arena was set up) took away from the show. Give those fans a TitanTron and the usual dose of pyros and fireworks and they would be popping as loud as any other group of fans... Triple H and Mankind worked their asses off and it was refreshing to see a heel win clean... Did anyone else notice that they turned down the crowd mic when the huge "ECW" chant broke out during Tazz's match?... Neither Chris Jericho nor Chyna are capable of pulling off a solid three-way match. I don't know which of the two was worse... Don't tell me that the WWF is going to take another marketable heel and turn him into a babyface: Tazz or Kurt Angle... The most unrealistic part of the show came when Rock punched Big Show a couple of times, took him off his feet with a simple take down, and then hit him with the People's Elbow. The Elbow is the most unrealistic move in wrestling (which doesn't really matter as long as the people pop) and should be set up by moves that would logically have his opponents knocked out... Jim Ross seemed as uninspired during the Rumble as he ever has been...

Wade Keller, Torch editor (7.5)

One four star match does not make for a great show, but one four-star match surrounded by good booking, good pacing, good characters, good intensity, and good crowd heat leads to a very good overall show. The battle royal was booked very well given who was involved. The hype for the battle royal lacked intrigue, but the actual nearly one-hour match dragged only a few times. Taka Michinoku's bump was scary. The booking at the end of the match - considering everyone figured Rock was going to win - was pretty exciting.

This year Rikishi got to be the centerpiece of the annual "Royal Rumble" moment that is reserved for one rising star whom the WWF wants to get across as a killer. Having Viscera come out to slow his momentum was smart booking. Having Too Cool dance with Rikishi made for a great spot in the match for the crowd to go nuts. If the WWF makes sure Rikishi becomes as multi-dimensional as Kane, they will have a new main eventer on their hands to rotate in feuds with Rock, Undertaker, Kane, X-Pac, Steve Austin, Triple H, and Big Show. If they never expand his character beyond a one-note comedy act, he will be yesterday's news in two months. It's their choice.

Mick Foley is selfish. His sacrificing of himself in the ring is done to get himself over because in the shape he's in, he needs thumbtacks and stiff chairshots to remain a god in the eyes of the fans. He needs the fans' adulation, so he takes unreasonable risks and fails to sell devastating moves in order to get himself over. His match with Triple H was captivating, no doubt. Both Foley and Triple H did a great job. Their timing was on, their moves were sharp, and most importantly they had great intensity from start to finish. I cannot give the match more than four stars, though. Early in the match Foley took a mega-stiff chairshot and literally 20 seconds later he was on offense, showing no effects of the chairshot. What that means is any wrestler who sells a chairshot in the near future will be seen as a wimp compared to Foley. The beauty of pro wrestling is it gets to decide which moves hurt and which don't. Foley makes sure the only way fans will pop for chairshots is if there are a half dozen stiff ones. He raises the bar so high, other wrestlers will have to destroy as many brain cells and endure as many concussions as he has in order to be seen as tough by the fans. Why not save the chairshots for when they really matter instead of using them as nonchalantly as a bodyslam or armdrag takedown? The thumbtacks is just a desperate stunt done for attention that takes no skill or grace. Since fans know Foley is the only one desperate enough to land on them, there is no drama over who will land on them. That said, Foley's interview at the end of Heat should be studied by every wrestler trying to improve their talking skills. The psychology, facial expressions, cadence, and intensity were awesome.

Tazz's debut was great. His entrance is right up there with Chris Jericho's. It's WWF moments like Tazz's debut that shine a spotlight on the separation between the WWF and WCW... Kurt Angle is completely entertaining in everything he does... Compare how "superworker" Chris Jericho hits the ropes and sells compared to "their entrance is the only reason they are over" Billy Gunn and Road Dogg. He still wrestles "soft" and "tentatively" and it's not all Chyna's fault, despite conventional wisdom... The tables match was fun to watch, but the Dudleys weren't exactly speed demons at setting up the tables for the next convoluted spots and it killed off a lot of the momentum of the match.

READER POLL RESULTS

Average Reader Score: 7.6 (Last PPV: Armageddon 6.5)

Best Match: Jack vs. Triple H (67%), Dudleys vs. Hardys (28%), Others (5%)

Worst Match: Outlaws vs. Acolytes (64%), Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Holly (28%), Royal Rumble swimsuit contest (9%)

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