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KELLER'S RAW REPORT
MARCH 1, 2004
LIVE FROM OMAHA, NEB.
-A recap aired of last week's Brock Lesnar attack on Steve Austin.
-La Resistance stood in the ring livet protesting their being bypassed for a match against Booker T & RVD for the tag titles, instead having to be in a four-way tag including two other challengers.
-After the Raw opening montage. Steve Austin drove to the ring on his ATV and chased La Resistance out of the ring and broke their protest signs. Austin then said he was upset at both Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg for what they’ve done to him in recent weeks. He said people have asked him if he'll call things down the middle at WM20. He said he'll do what he sees fit. Vince McMahon stepped out and told Austin he had nothing to do with what Brock did to him last week, but he told Austin to check into whether Eric Bischoff had something to do with it. Vince then made fun of Austin's four wheeler. Austin called the ATV a "Polaris redneck special." Austin said he was going to run down Vince with it, but he'd give him a headstart. Vince acted brave, but when Austin charged toward him, Vince ran.
-Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler plugged the TV main event of Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit vs. Batista & Randy Orton. Then they cut backstage to Austin chasing down McMahon. McMahon fell backwards and begged off. Then he dove over a railing and jumped into his limo. He yelled for his limo driver to run over Austin and his ATV. Instead Austin drove right up to it and then drove right up onto the hood and the roof of the limo. There happened to be a camera in the limo to show Vince's reaction. I can't imagine why he keeps camera in his limo with a video feed to the production truck. Austin then yelled at a panicked Vince through the open moonroof. Vince called Austin a crazy son of a bitch. Then Austin drove off. I don't know if the ATV could really drive onto the hood of the limo, but they never showed the front of the limo so there may have been a ramp there to help a little. Fun segment. It's a sign of the WWE's sensitivity to violence and raunch right now, because loud revving noises has replacing setting people on fire as a way to attack enemies.
A commercial aired plugging that Ric Flair would be hosting a WrestleMania's 10 "Greatest Matches Ever" countdown on Tuesday, March 9 at 9 p.m. ET on Spike TV. It said the wrestlers themselves voted for the matches.
[Commercial Break]
1 -- LITA & VICTORIA vs. JAZZ (w/Theodore Long) & MOLLY HOLLY
Molly and Jazz got into a shoving match. Then Jazz and Long left Molly alone. Victoria then rolled up Molly for the quick pin. Molly attacked Victoria afterward at ringside. Referees tried to separate them.Molly yanked out a wad of Victoria's hair.
WINNER: Victoria & Lita at 0:37.
STAR RATING: n/a
-A clip aired of the Benoit-Michaels incident on Raw three weeks ago during the contract signing.
[Commercial Break]
-Coach interviewed Shawn Michaels briefly about teaming with Chris Benoit later. He said he doesn’t trust Benoit.
-John Hennigan introduced himself to Eric Bischoff. He said he is now known as Johnny Blaze. Hennigan talked about winning Tough Enough 3, then kissed his ass. He said he was kicking Vince McMahon's ass last week. He told him he is his idol and he'd do anything he wanted. Bischoff began liking Hennigan and said Donald Trump shouldn't be the only one with an apprentice. Austin barged in and gave Bischoff an evil eye. Bischoff said he had nothing to do with Brock's attack. Molly then barged in and said she'd do anything to get a Women's Title match at WM20. Bischoff granted her the match against Victoria. Austin added a stipulation, that Victoria would get to shave her head bald if she lost. Molly said her hair is too beautiful and she didn't want to be a bald headed freak. Austin askeed her if she had a problem with bald headed people. She agreed to the stip. Blaze attempted to introduce himself to Austin, but Austin shot him a look and walked off.
[Commercial Break]
2 -- HURRICANE & ROSEY vs. GARRISON CADE & MARK JINDRAK
The crowd didn't like the match, as they chanted "boring" at 3:30. Rosey got a hot-tag at 4:30 and gave Cade a Samoan drop for a near fall. Hurricane flew back into the ring leaped onto Jindrak. As Rosey climbed up to the second rope, Jindrak KO'd Rosey with a surprise blow and Cade covered him for the win. Ross said that meant Jindrak & Cade earned a shot at the tag titles at WrestleMania.
WINNER: Jindrak & Cade at 5:38.
STAR RATING: 3/4*
-Coach asked Benoit about Michaels's lack of trust in each other. Benoit said he trusts no one but himself. Ross wondered aloud whether they'd self-destruct later.
[Commercial Break]
-A recap aired of Mick Foley's vows to show up at Raw this week. Lawler was skeptical of whether Foley would live up to his word.
-Rico introduced Stacy and Miss Jackie. He talked about how hot they were and how they even made him melt. Rico's gay undertones have been completely eliminated from his Adrian Street/Gorgeous George/Adrian Adonis-like character. Rico told them they "put the delicious in the divine." Kane then interrupted. Ross said he was spoiling the moment. The women fled and then Kane gave Rico a chokeslam. Kane grabbed the mic and told the fans who are expecting a resurrection at WrestleMania and a return of the Dead Man are going to be disappointed. He said there would be a persecution of biblical proportions. He closed with Undertaker's "rest in peace" catchphrase. Taker's gong sounded and the lights went out. Kane paced around the ring. Come on, he had to see that coming! Taker's got a great gimmick that involved him being part of huge hype for a big WM match and he never has to show up at any tapings leading up to it. Two Undertaker's symbols on the stage then went up in flames.
[Commercial Break]
3 - SHAWN MICHAELS & CHRIS BENOIT vs. BATISTA & RANDY ORTON
Benoit and Michaels yapped at each other as soon as they got to the ring. Michaels and Benoit then argued over who was going to start the match. Benoit started against Batista. When Michaels tagged in, he yanked Batista crotch-first into the ringpost. Batista looked quite unhappy afterward. Michaels then threw some chops in the corner. Batista reversed Michaels into the corner. Michaels flipped into the turnbuckles. Batista tagged in Orton, who choked Michaels. Ross said Batista and Orton had drank the Evolution Kool Aid. Batista and Michaels took turns beating on Michaels for several minutes. Michaels eventually hot-tagged Michaels, who went to work on Batista's legs. When he went for a Sharpshooter, Batista kicked out of it. Benoit then went into a series of two German suplexes. Batista elbowed out of a third suplex, but Benoit quickly applied a Crossface. Michaels charged into the ring to stop Orton's interference. Orton shoved Michaels onto Benoit. Benoit got up and shoved Michaels. Michaels punched Benoit. Orton clotheslined Michaels at ringside. With all four men down, they cut to a break at 7:30.
[Commercial Break]
Benoit took a beating from Orton and Batista during the second portion of this match. Lawler said he thought Michaels was enjoying seeing Benoit take a beating. Benoit made a comeback with a suplex on Batista, who then tagged in Orton. Benoit fended off Orton and crawled to Michaels. Michaels took his time to reach for a tag, but eventually did. He went to work on Orton. Michaels signalled for the superkick, but Batista punched him from behind. Benoit made the save. Benoit then set up Orton for a top rope headbutt. When Batista went after Benoit on the top rope, Michaels made the save but also headbutted Benoit ian the process. Michaels went for a cover on Orton, but Benoit flew off with a headbutt and hit Michaels, apparently unaware that Michaels had just covered Orton. Michaels then attacked Benoit before he could go for the pin on Orton. Ross yelled, "Stop that!" Lawler said let them go. Orton then rolled up Michaels and yanked on his tights for the win.
WINNERS: Batista & Orton at 19:04.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Good feature-length tag match.
-Afterward Michaels went right after Benoit. Hunter came out and attacked them both. He was joined by the rest of Evolution including Ric Flair. Hunter gave Michaels and Benoit each Pedigrees.
[Commercial Break]
-Evolution saw Foley arriving on a monitor. Orton said Foley just doesn't get enough beatings apparently. He vowed to deliver another message to him.
-The ring was set up for the Chris Jericho interview segment. Ross said he wasn't at the arena as best he knew, so he was surprised. Instead, Christian walked out. Ross called him a CRB, a Creepy Little Bastard. Christian said because Trish ruined his friendship with Jericho, he had to take matters into his own hands. He said he talked to Eric Bischoff about a match: Christian vs. Jericho at WrestleMania 20. Christian said he'd knock some sense into his head and he'd "never, ever be the same a-gane." Jericho walked out in the street clothes to a big pop. "What the hell? Chris Jericho is here" said Ross. Christian looked surprised. Jericho charged the ring before Christian could offer a full insincere apology. When Jericho began to ask for an explanation, Christian kicked at his knee and then fled.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed a clip of Austin running after Austin in his ATV.
-Booker T & RVD vs. Jindrak Cade. vs La Resistance vs. the winners of Heat's match between The Dudleys and Lance Storm & Val Venis (gee, I wonder).
-Ross and Lawler talked about the announced matches for WM20.
-They showed Austin's ATV being carted off by a semi-trailer truck.
-In the parking lot, Hunter gave Batista, Orton, and Flair a pep talk about handling things on their own because he had to go early to get the post-Raw party warmed up.
[Commercial Break]
4 -- MATT HARDY & TEST vs. BOOKER T & ROB VAN DAM -- Non-Title.
Matt Hardy Facts: "Matt paid cash for his home" and "Matt has more money than you." Lawler told Ross to remember that Matt has more money than Ross. Unless Ross has blown his stock options and bonuses in Las Vegas or at the track, I suspect he has quite a bit more money than Matt at this point in their lives. Hardy and RVD had some nice exchanges early in the match. The crowd was into it. Booker did a good job leading the crowd in cheers. RVD tagged in Booker and Hardy tagged in Test at 3:00. Booker gave Hardy a spinebuster when ran in, then gave Test a Book End. Booker went for a scissors kick, but Test avoided it and went for a pump-handle slam. Booker countered with a wheel kick, then did a Spinaroonie. Hardy grabbed Booker from behind. Test went to give Booker a big boot, but Booker moved and he booted Hardy. RVD then gave Test a Five-Star and Booker made the pin.
WINNER: Booker T & RVD at 4:55.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Good short tag match.
[Commercial Break]
-Mick Foley walked out and began to speak in center-ring, but was quickly interrupted by Orton, Batista, and Flair. Orton got in Foley's face and told him to pay attention. He asked him how he wanted to handle the situation. "I mean, Mick, we can have weekly Mick Foley beatdown, but you're head's got to be hurting you and my fist is killing me, too," said Orton. He then offered a second option - a singles match one-on-one with him against Foley. Foley said that sounded good on paper, but the sad reality is conccerned, there will never be a one-onone with them. Flair began spazzing out as Foley told them he is tired of stretchered and ambulances. He made a counter-offer. He offered Orton & Flair & Batista vs. himself and one partner. That drew a huge pop from the crowd who already knew what was about to come. Orton said he's heard the rumors about who his partner is going to be. He said he knows Foley has no friends in the back and he'd have to call on a special friend. He told him to go call his buddy in Hollywood. Foley said he had a better idea. He told him to tell this special friend to his face what he has to say. "You see, I said I was coming back to Raw, but I never said I was coming back to Raw alone." Rock ran to the ring as the crowd popped and his music played. He showed great energy as he entered the ring and took out of Flair. Then Foley took out Batista. That left Orton in against Foley and Rock. Foley pulled out Mr. Socko and shoved it in Orton's mouth. Rock gave Orton a spinebuster followed by a People's Elbow. Rock was sporting a goatee and hair on top of his head again.
-Rock then began talking. He said those three agreed to the most electrifying tag team match of all time and "an ass-kicking of a lifetime" courtesy of the true hardcore legend Mick Foley and the jobroni-beating, pie-eating, trailblazing, eyebrow raising, got a gift for you just like Santa, an whopping at WrestleMania just like here in Atlanta." He closed with his "if you can smell what the Rock is cooking catchphrase." Ross screamed, "Here we come New York City!" Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
