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KELLER'S NWA-TNA PPV REPORT
MAY 28, 2003
LIVE FROM NASHVILLE, TENN.
-A recap aired of last week's angles involving Raven. Then the TNA opening montage aired.
-Glen Gilberti told Julio Deniro and Destiny that he is going to kick Raven's ass on his own without bodyguards. He told them to deliver the message to Raven.
1 -- D-LO BROWN & A.J. STYLES vs. C.M. PUNK & JASON CROSS
They opened with flying moves at ringside followed by high-intensity collisions in the ring and rapid tags. Cross nailed Styles with a vicious overhead full nelson suplex that looked like it snapped Styles's head. Don West talked right over it and no-sold it, which was a crime. After West was done rambling oblivious to what just happened in the ring, Tenay on 15 second delay sold the suplex with the intensity it deserved. Styles fought back at 2:30 with some elbows, but Cross nailed him with a cool flip, driving Styles into the mat. Tenay didn't even know what to call it. Styles showed great fire as he fought back with spirited punches. He nailed Cross off the ropes with a massive clothesline that and cross took a 360 flip bump. Both tagged out to their partners. D-Lo entered and cleaned up on both Cross and Punk. D-Lo and Styles did some double-team moves, although they weren't especially smooth at first. Then they hit simultaneous moves off the ropes onto both opponents and scored a double pin.
WINNERS: D-Lo & Styles at 4:20.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- About as hot as a four minute opening match can get thanks most prominently to Styles and Cross.
-After the match D-Lo said he came to TNA with one goal - to get respect. He said the only way to get respect like that is to become the NWA World Hvt. Champion. He said so far they've both been "dicked around the company." He said he is in his prime and Styles is in the beginning of his career. He told Styles not to let anyone jerk him around for seven years. He complained about being booked in an opening tag match against two jobbers. That comment was uncalled for. Cross just showed up D-Lo big time with his performance. D-Lo needs to be responsible for some good matches and crowd heat before he starts calling Punk and Cross jobbers, even if he's just playing his character. He said tonight was the straw that broke the camel's back and blamed Jarrett for it. Styles said he is right. They have a dream to become the NWA Hvt. Champion. Styles said they have to march through singles competition. They agreed to end their team on good terms, and then hugged. Did we ever know why they teamed in the first place, other than giving D-Lo an up close example of moves other than the same ten he used every match?
-West gave a quick preview to the rest of the card.
-They went to a video diary of Jeff Jarrett's trip to New Zealand defending the NWA Hvt. Title. They showed the plane landing in New Zealand, showed brief footage of Jarrett defending against Sting (with a plug at the bottom of the screen saying the event would premier on PPV on June 8), and Jarrett talking about the great responsibility that comes with defending the title around the world. Jarrett said it's a lot of work, but it makes him proud to carry on the tradition of the NWA Title holders that preceded him.
-A graphic on the screen plugged Jeff Jarrett vs. Glenn Gilberti next week.
-Jeff Jarrett came out for a live in-ring interview. Regarding complainers, Jarrett said, "Well, life sucks and then you die." Fans taunted him. Jarrett said fans have no idea what it's like to walk in his shoes. He said tonight is about Raven, not the whining fans. Jarrett told Raven that he knows he's in a corner somewhere "shooting your crap up." He called him out so they could get things of their chests in front of each other. Raven walked out through the crowd and entered the ring. He told Jarrett he is living a "fantasy life" made possible only because he has more political connections than Shane and Stephanie. He said he would make his life a nightmare. Rather than talking from the heart, his lines sounded too scripted; he seemed to be tripping over them trying to get them out straight as planned. Jarrett told him he understood half of what he said, but he does know that on Raven's best day he couldn't beat him on his worst day. Jarrett said he has given his whole life to this business. He said Raven has done alcohol, drugs, living on the edge. "Raven, you're a disgrace and nobody wants you to wear this belt and represent the NWA," he said. "Your parents knew you were a disgrace the day you were born." He said he would take on Raven one-on-one, it was fine with him. He said it wasn't his call, though. He said he is going to protect his ass every turn he makes because he wants him to be in one piece when they wrestle again. "I'm tired of the crying, the whining, and the bitching," he concluded. Jarrett's music then played on cue. It seemed a little obvious the music guy was waiting for that last line before playing his music. An envelope was passed to Jarrett. Jarrett opened it. Jarrett looked shocked by what the paperwork said. He went to Tenay to ask him about it. It said Gilberti had gotten Jarrett banned from the building.
-They went back to the SEX locker room featuring Glenn Gilberti pacing around and giving orders with Mike Sanders nodding behind him. He told Siaki he was on his own tonight.
2 -- B.G. JAMES & KONNAN vs. SANDMAN & SONNY SIAKI
Apparently Shane Douglas was talked to about being James's partner for this match, but it must not have worked out. When the ref was going to check James and Konnan for weapons, they dropped to their knees like it was a police search. The gag was meant to give the impression they get stopped by cops a lot and know exactly what to do. The ref seemed a little taken aback. Konnan began against Siaki with his usual routine of moves. James tagged in and did his little jig-jag dancing. Sandman came to ringside and gave Siaki some words of warning. That gave James the opening to get the advantage on Siaki, but Siaki quickly reversed him with a neckbreaker. When Siaki went to tag Sandman in, Sandman hit him with his kendo stick. James finished off Siaki with the Pump Handle Slam for the win.
WINNER: B.G. James & Konnan at 2:41.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Not much to it.
-Backstage Goldy interviewed New Jack backstage. Shark Boy taunted Jack with the box for the Chutes and Ladders board game.
-A recap aired of last week's Hard 10 brawl where Sanders beat Brian Lee. They recapped the scoring system.
3 -- SLASH vs. NEW JACK
Mike Sanders did color commentary during the match from ringside, trying desperately to be funny. What you'd expect with these two - a series of shots to each others' heads with a trash can lid and trash can. Slash led 8 to 5 at 4:45. Sanders laughed about "having connections on top." Without which he wouldn't have a job with TNA. They began accepting weapons from the crowd. They hit each other with a series of shots to make the score 10 to 10. You must win by two point. They kept going back and forth getting ahead by one point at a time, but not two. Tied at 13 each, New Jack setup a top rope suplex, but decided to turn it into a press slam, tossing Slash off the top rope through a table at ringside to win.
WINNER: New Jack at 7:15.
STAR RATING: * -- Good energy.
-They aired a sitdown interview with Christopher Daniels & Elix Skipper taped earlier in the day. Daniels said they are the best tag team in the world today and "the best NWA Tag Team Champions of the TNA era." Tenay told Skipper he's come a long way since his days with the WCW Power Plant. There wasn't any talk about Low Ki, who technically holds the tag belts with them since they're a threesome as Triple X. Daniels went on a rant about how by embracing Sports Entertainment Extreme they've made it to the top. He said if they hadn't, they would still be a foot stool for Jeff Jarrett. They carried themselves well, especially Daniels.
-Back life, they cut to the Harrises in the parking lot. They were drinking Budweissers. They got into a brawl with Konnan and Ron Killings. Killings hit them with a sock filled with two plastic bottles of soda.
-Goldy interviewed The SAT(s), Joel & Jose Maximo. Goldy said the talk of wrestling is Amazing Red for taking it to Raven last week. They showed brief footage of Red crashing Raven through a table last week. Jose & Joel talked about how proud they are of their cousin. Erik Watts walked up to Goldy and whispered in her ear, then talked her into walking away with him. She seemed bashfully aroused by Watts. If Watts is getting paid, shouldn't he be doing more than doing hyped-up promos one week and making passes at Goldy the next? Shouldn't he produce something in the ring to justify the time spent on him?
4 -- ELIX SKIPPER & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. THE SAT - Non-Title
Non-stop action in the opening minutes. At 5:00 the Maximos attempted a double team move on Skipper that was such a clustermess I didn't know what it was supposed to be. Joel dove onto Daniels at ringside. The Maximos went for a double team move off the ropes on Skipper, but Daniels intervened. Daniels gave Angel's Wings to Joel for a two count. Jose surprised Daniels with a crossbody block off the top rope for a two count. Skipper tagged in and surprised Joel by walking the top rope tight-rope style and then jumping off with a huracanrana for a pin.
WINNER: Daniels & Skipper at 6:20.
STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Good action.
-After the match Raven gave both Maximos DDTs in center ring. Tenay said he was sending a message to Amazing Red.
-They went back to the SEX locker room. They were complaining about the disappearance of the Harris Brothers. Desire and Tracy got into a slap-fest in the back over David Young (of all people). They kicked each other and brawled near a toilet stall, then out into the crowd and then into the ring. Tracy speared Desire to the mat. West said this was some of the best action of the night. Tracy then dove off the top rope with a Thesz Press onto Desire. Young then gave a spinebuster on Tracy and helped Desire to the back. Tracy was helped out of the ring.
-They went backstage to Goldy and Erik Watts making out. Goldy said she didn't feel comfortable. Watts asked why since she felt good about it last week. Goldy said because they're in a janitorial closet. She also blamed Watts for bragging about it on national TV last week. He said that was his weakness as a man. She said she didn't trust him. He asked why. She laughed and said because she's a freakin' wrestler. Watts told her she can trust him. He then kissed her. She smiled like a bashful school girl. Point, please?
-They recapped the Mystery Masked Luchador-Kid Kash feud. Backstage live Kash paced impatiently. A woman dressed like a nurse straight out of a porn movie walked up to Kash and said, "David Kash, I'm here for your prematch exam." Kash said he had a groin pull that needed attention. When she bent over to check on him, he grabbed her and said he wasn't stupid and knew why she was there. She gave him a low blow and left.
5 -- THE MASKED LUCHADOR vs. KID KASH
Kash walked out clutching his crotch. West said if Kash would just learn how to treat a woman, this stuff wouldn't keep happening to him. The luchador unmasked to reveal Trinity. She dove over the top rope onto Kash at ringside. Kash came back with a claw at 1:30. She escaped with a low blow and a powerbomb. She went for a moonsault, but Kash caught her mid-move and turned it into a spike piledriver for the win.
WINNER: Kash at 2:31.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Pretty sloppy in places, but hard effort.
Kash, showing absolutely no judgment for what's appropriate on TV, leaned over and told her: "I hope you know what you've done because I'm going to finish what I've started; I'm going to kill you, bitch." Tenay seemed a bitch speechless at that lack of judgment on Kash's part.
-Backstage Bill Behrens played the disheveled executive as Jeff Jarrett told him that despite receiving paperwork that barred him from the building, he's not leaving.
-Chris Harris entered the SEX locker room. Gilberti said Harris is a friend of theirs. Gilberti said he heard that Harris is wrestling alone because his partner has personal issues to deal with. Gilberti said he got him a partner, X Division Champ Chris Sabin. Sanders did his sad little "Heeeyyy!" gimmick yelp when Sabin entered the picture.
6 -- CHRIS SABIN & CHRIS HARRIS vs. JERRY LYNN & JUSTIN CREDIBLE
Sabin asked to start the match. Harris agreed. West and Tenay talked about how smart Gilberti is to get one of his SEX men in the match because it helps SEX's chances of winning the tournament. When Sabin interfered illegally, Lynn turned to punch him. When Lynn turned around, Harris speared him and then tagged in Sabin. West said he was surprised Lynn and Justin never teamed together before after all of their time in ECW together. Lynn worked the body of the match. After some four-way brawling, Justin set up a cradle piledriver, but Harris reversed it into a roll-up for the win. Lynn got upset at Justin because he had asked him to let him do his piledriver and go for the win. They ended up brawling with each other and needed to be separated. This overly convoluted booking kills any chance of true fan heat since fans have no one to root for. I don't know of any other "drama" on TV that doesn't book antagonists and protagonists within its script. There's a limit to how many of these matches with no clear babyface or heel can be the least bit novel.
WINNERS: Sabin & Harris at 9:02.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good tag action. Sabin and Harris worked well together.
-They went backstage to Erik Watts who said he was the new ring announcer. He then tried to interview Raven, who said he would beat him up except he makes him laugh. There's a difference between acts that are funny backstage during those boring hours waiting for a show to start and acts that belong on TV. Erik Watts and Mike Sanders are the former, not the latter.
-They showed the brackets for the Anarchy Tag Team Tournament which is now down to four teams.
7 -- RAVEN vs. GLENN GILBERTI
Gilberti swung a chair at Raven, but Raven ducked and the chair hit the ringpost. They brawled into the crowd to start the match. Raven suplexed Gilberti on the floor, then threw him into the wall of the Asylum. Raven then drove Gilberti's throat into the edge of a chair. They entered the ring at 3:30. Raven applied a cobra clutch. Gilberti escaped at 4:45 with a clothesline. Raven beat up Gilberti with a chair for a couple of minutes. The Harrises interfered at 7:30. Alexis and Julio came out to try to even the odds. The four brawled at ringside as Gilberti began a comeback against Raven in the ring. Gilberti applied an ankle lock. West said by containing Raven and controlling him like he has, he has earned his no. 1 contender spot. Uh, Don, what about the Harrises' interference, which turned the tide in the match? Raven made a full-fledged comeback at 10:30 and scored a near fall after a DDT. At 12:15 Sonny Siaki came to ringside. Raven had Gilberti down for the pin, but Siaki yanked the ref out of the ring before he could make the third count. Gilberti then low-blowed Raven followed by a Stunner. Raven kicked out just before three for a mild crowd pop (which qualifies to Don West as, "The crowd goes crazy!" He's all about credibility, isn't he?). Gilberti mistakenly clotheslined the ref when Raven ducked. Raven sidekicked Gilberti as he rebounded off the ropes. Sandman came into the ring and attacked Raven with a cane, getting back at Raven for turning on him in last week's brawl. Jeff Jarrett then charged into the ring and fended off Sandman, fulfilling his promise that he was going to protect Raven so he'd be in one piece when they wrestled eventually. Jarrett and Sandman brawled to the back. In the ring, the ref began to come to. Raven set up his Evenflow DDT, but then a clean-shaven Vince Russo entered the ring with a baseball bat and nailed Raven from behind. The crowd didn't care. Gilberti draped his arm over Raven to score the pin. Tenay said even though we haven't seen Russo for months, it was obvious he was the mastermind behind Sports Entertainment Extreme. Russo raised his two middle fingers, then walked out of the arena.
WINNER: Gilberti at 15:51.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Good match.
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