Torch Flashbacks
KELLER'S TNA PPV Report 4/9/03 (5 Yrs. Ago): Raven, D-Lo, Dusty, Lawler, Sandman, New Jack, Sabin, Shark Boy
Apr 10, 2008 - 12:43:53 PM |
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By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor
NWA-TNA PPV
APRIL 9, 2003
LIVE FROM NASHVILLE, TENN
-The show opened with a highlight montage of recent major storylines focused primarily on the perplexing, unpredictable behavior of Jeff Jarrett lately.
-Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the program.
1 -- SANDMAN & NEW JACK vs. DON & RON HARRIS vs. SLASH & BRIAN LEE
Tenay explained that Slash & Lee were added to the match during the week because of what happened last week. New Jack introduced a cheese grater early in the match against Slash, who ended up bleeding. New Jack next used a staple gun against Slash. At 2:30 they brawled up the ramp and toward the backstage area. Slash leaped off the apron and flipped onto Ron Harris on a table below. Harris bled, too. New Jack shoved Lee off the balcony at 5:30. Meanwhile, Don Harris bloodied Sandman at ringside. Fans chanted "TNA, TNA." New Jack climbed to the top balcony and he dove onto Slash through a table below with a vicious looking elbow drop. Sandman, meanwhile, fought back at ringside with a cane against both Harris brothers. The Harrises fought back and double-slammed Sandman on the mat and scored the pin. Tenay and West said New Jack left Sandman out to dry by brawling exclusively away from the ring.
WINNERS: Ron & Don Harris at 8:20.
STAR RATING: ** -- Wild opening match.
-Goldy interviewed Bart Gunn backstage about his scheduled match against Saturn. He said everyone knows he can fight because he knocked out Godfather, Steve Williams, and Bradshaw. D-Lo barged in and demanded a match with Mike Sanders. Glen Gilberti told Chris Harris to find Sanders and make sure he gets to the arena without knowing he's scheduled for a match against D-Lo. Harris seemed a bit leery of the task.
-Mike Tenay stood on the stage explained the rules of a tag match to determine X Title challengers. Tenay interviewed Hermie Sadler and a NASCAR color commentator, Jeff Hammond. Sadler talked about driving a TNA car in Charlotte at an upcoming race. Not being part of the NASCAR world, I can just say that to this outsider they're the least cool two people on earth (and that's counting Janet Reno).
-Interrogation time with Dusty Rhodes being "grilled" by Mike Tenay and Don West. He spit when WCW was mentioned. To Goldust, he said "son."
2 -- DUSTY RHODES vs. BRIAN LAWLER
Lawler took early advantage using the ladder as a weapon. He climbed the ladder at 2:30, but it began falling apart and getting wobbly, which gave a bloody Dusty a chance to recover and knock him off the ladder. Dusty gave Lawler a series of punches and a bionic elbow. He then worked over Lawler with a step ladder. Dusty "leaped" off a step ladder in a comedy spot with an elbow onto Lawler. It was meant to be farcical because the step ladder was about a foot off the ground, although Dusty actually slipped doing it. Dusty began climbing the tall ladder, but when he got to the first step, Lawler low-blowed him from behind and climbed the ladder himself. Lawler went for a legdrop off the ladder, but Dusty moved. Dusty looked at the ladder as the crowd chanted his name. Dusty made it up to the first rung at which point David Flair attacked Dusty from behind. Flair then climbed the ladder. Nikita Koloff then came out and knocked Flair off the ladder. Nikita then climbed the ladder and grabbed the belt. He struggled to release it and eventually yanked hard enough that he got it loose. Dusty stood up and put up his fists to fend off a potential foe in Nikita. The crowd chanted "Dusty." Nikita offered Dusty the belt. Dusty took it and the two hugged.
WINNER: Dusty at 8:20.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- For what it was, it was really entertaining. The finish is a bit of a ripoff because everybody wanted to see Dusty try to climb the ladder. But on the bright side, he did climb a step ladder!
After the match Erik Watts ran out and ripped the NWA title belt out of Dusty's hands, stealing it once again.
-Backstage Goldy interviewed Chris Harris, asking him if he was with SEX. James Storm confronted Harris about joining SEX and going singles. Harris told Storm to trust him. Storm said, "Trust you, my a--." Harris said he doesn't understand what he's doing wrong. Harris saw Sanders and told him that Glen wants to see him. He said nobody likes him in the SEX locker room. Sanders said he doesn't care, he's had heat his whole career. Sanders asked Harris what he thinks of him. "I think you're an a--hole," he said. Sanders told Harris to put a jacket on rather than show off his big arms. Harris said he wishes he had arms like his.
3 -- GLEN GILBERTTI (a/k/a Disco Inferno) vs. A.J. STYLES
Gilbertti caught a flying Styles with a dropkick. West said Gilbertti has made a career choice to get serious and it's working. Gilbertti scored a three count at 6:40, but the ref saw at the last second he had his feet on the ropes for leverage. As Gilbertti celebrated, Styles gave him a Styles Clash and put his feet on the ropes and scored the pin. Gilbertti attacked the ref after the match with a chair.
WINNER: Styles at 7:35.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Solid action, but far from one of Styles's better matches. As if it wasn't enough to have a questionable call by the ref disallowing a pin and get attacked from behind, Gilbertti couldn't get pinned unless Styles also used the ropes for leverage. It set up justification for him being upset, but it seemed a little self-interested to book the finish that way considering the Styles Clash is treated as a legit finisher in and of itself without needing rope leverage to score a pin. Tenay said this is evidence that TNA needs a commissioner.
-Goldy interviewed Gilbertti backstage, but was interrupted by Sanders. Gilbertti said despite all of his screwups lately, his blood bleeds SEX. "You were hand-picked by Vince Russo, you are one of us." He told him to beat D-Lo's ass. He said SEX would have his back tonight. Sanders said, "No problem with that, just let me get my sh-- on."
4 -- SONNY SIAKI & DESIRE vs. DAVID YOUNG & ATHENA
Before the match Siaki said he has the looks and body, whereas Young is "well, fat and ugly." He called Athena a skank, so she slapped Siaki. Siaki said it should be a one-on-one match with just "Desire to fatty." Young gave Athena a spinbuster, turning on her, and then put on an SEX t-shirt.
WINNER: Desire at 0:20.
STAR RATING: n/a
-Goldy interviewed Saturn who talked about how it takes 500 fights to be considered a tough guy. Jeff Jarrett interrupted. Barton then attacked Saturn from behind.
5 -- MIKE BARTON vs. PERRY SATURN
Tenay said that Barton won the Brawl for All in the WWF a few years ago and it made him a star in Japan, where he has been wrestling for All Japan and will be joining New Japan now. He got early advantage on Saturn until a suplex by Saturn turned the tables at 1:00. Barton, though, regained the advantage and bloodied Saturn. At 4:00 Saturn fought back with a series of punches. Barton then came back with punches. The crowd taunted Barton with chants of "You suck." An informed crowd would have taunted him with chants of "Butterbean." At 6:15 Saturn ducked a clothesline and then nailed Barton with a sidekick. Saturn then gave Barton a Death Valley Driver for a near fall. Barton kicked out at two and punched Saturn, selling it as if he hurt his own fist with the punch. Saturn then put Barton's sore hand in a wristlock and forced a tapout.
WINNER: Saturn at 7:35 via tapout.
STAR RATING: * -- Solid intensity, but not much else of note. The tapout finish was a surprise.
-Goldy interviewed New Jack. Sandman interrupted and yelled at New Jack for screwing up the plan. Slash attacked New Jack and Lee attacked Sandman. They brawled into the parking lot.
6 -- MIKE SANDERS vs. D-LO BROWN
Sanders dove onto D-Lo with a flip at ringside, then suplexed him at ringside. West and Tenay kept talking about Jeff Jarrett (and what's going on in his head!) the same way Bill Mercer used to talk about Kerry and Kevin Von Erich or the way David Crockett used to talk about Dusty Rhodes on TBS on Saturdays. Sanders mocked D-Lo's head bobbing before going for a pin. D-Lo kicked out at one. Sanders followed with a cobra clutch on the mat. D-Lo made a comeback with a flying forearm. Sanders, though, quickly took over offense again with a neckbreaker. D-Lo brushed aside a sidekick and then slammed Sanders. D-Lo then went to the top rope. Siaki shoved D-Lo off the top rope, crotching him on the top turnbuckle as Desire flirted with the ref. Sanders superplexed D-Lo. The ref turned and counted to two before D-Lo kicked out. D-Lo then surprised Sanders with the Low Down for the win.
WINNER: D-Lo Brown at 7:04.
STAR RATING: * -- Really mundane, rudimentary match. Sanders's cobra clutch was the most innovative move in the match. Sanders has been treated as such a jobber, that giving him so much offense over D-Lo during the match really buried D-Lo as being at Sanders's level, not World Title level. D-Lo didn't do anything in the match that would get anyone excited about his in-ring style, and he may be showing why it wasn't just politics that held him back. His offense and selling looked sluggish and lacked anything that wasn't being done in 1970. The style has advanced and D-Lo hasn't. By not going right into title matches with D-Lo and Jarrett, all of D-Lo's WWE steam has been lost already.
-Tenay interviewed Trinity who talked about her background training with Mikey Whipwreck and doing a variety of stunts on TV shows. Kid Kash interrupted and accused her of using him to get cheers from the crowd.
7 -- KID KASH (w/Trinity) vs. RAVEN
Kash dove onto Raven at ringside. He slipped on the top rope, but recovered well and sling-shot himself over the top rope instead. In the ring he missed a flip splash onto Raven when Raven moved. Raven went on offense. Raven drove Kash's head into the mat and scored a two count. Kash executed a huracanrana and a DDT for two count. Raven caught Kash in mid-air and turned it into a powerbomb for a near fall at 5:10. Kash climbed the ropes, slipped, and then climbed the ropes again and flew at Raven with a bodyblock for a two count. Kash limped back to the ropes and jumped to the top rope. Raven knocked him off balance and then attempted to superplex Kash. Kash shoved Raven off the ropes and went for a twisting moonsault, but Raven moved. Fans chanted "TNA, TNA." Trinity leaped off the top rope and gave Raven a huracanrana. Then she superkicked Raven. Then she flipped onto Alexis and Julio at ringside. Kash had told Trinity not to move a muscle without his permission. She fled to the back. Meanwhile, Raven came back with a DDT on Kash and scored the pin.
WINNER: Raven at 7:30.
STAR RATING: ** -- Solid match. Kash was a bit sloppy, but recovered well. He is selling and executing much better now than a couple months ago.
-West yelled about next week's matches but I could barely make out what he was saying because after five seconds of listening to him, my ears began to bleed.
8 -- CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & ELIX SKIPPER vs. SHARK BOY & JASON CROSS vs. JERRY LYNN & AMAZING RED vs. CHRIS SABIN & JONY STORM.
The members of the winning team would have to face each other later to earn an X Title shot. The NASCAR color guy joined Tenay and West. Oh goodie. He talked about following wrestling since the '70s. Storm and Lynn opened. Shark Boy and Red followed. Cross and Daniels picked up the action at 3:30. Skipper and Saban then tagged in.Shark Boy & Cross were eliminated first by Daniels after interference from the black masked mystery man. Lynn pinned Saban at 9:10 to eliminate Storm & Sabal. It went from a take-your-turn-at-a-highspot style match with no really storyline to a good tag match at this point. Red came off the top rope with a spin wheel kick on Daniels as Lynn held him in the air. Daniels came back with an enzuigiri on Lynn, then he scored a near fall on Red. West made his weekly declaration: "I don't care who you're for, this is one of the greatest matches I've ever seen." Red then surprised Daniels with a small package for the win.
WINNERS: Red & Lynn at 13:40.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- A wide variety of well-executed highspots, but the context of a storyline never had a chance to develop so it was nothing more than a spotfest.
-Goldy interviewed Erik Watts. Watts said Jarrett sent him e-mails apologizing for choking her last week. Watts said everybody hates Jeff, the fans in the crowd and the wrestlers in the back. He said everywhere he's gone everybody loves him, and that makes Jeff jealous. Watts said the one person he can count on is him because he cares for him. "You must live life or life will live you," he said. Watts is good behind the mic in a smarmy heel way.
-It takes balls to book yourself doing an in-ring interview as the main attraction of a two hour PPV, but put nothing past Jeff these days (and Vince Russo and his father Jerry) when it comes to setting new standards in that area. Tenay asked Jeff what is going on in his head these days. "This isolation, this hostility, what's it all about?" Tenay asked. Jeff asked Tenay which Jeff he wants, the bad guy or the good guy. Jeff asked Tenay if he has any idea what's going on in his life these days. He said he can't tell who is his friend anymore. "Is it pressure of is it paranoia?" asked Tenay. Jeff did a good job portraying that he was near cracking. Tenay, though, told Jeff he has to rise above the pressure and represent the NWA as champion. Jeff yanked the mic out of his hand. Then out came Raven, Alexis Laree, and Julio DeNiro. Raven told Jeff to beat up Tenay if it makes him feel like a big man. "Isn't this really all about me, Jeff? Isn't it really all about Raven?" Raven said. He told Jeff every bad dream he ever had as a child is about to come true. Somebody cheered and Raven said, "Don't you dare cheer me; shut your mouth." A small "Raven sucks" chant started. Jarrett told him he doesn't have to wait 21 days, he can have his title shot right now. Security stormed the ring to hold Jeff back. Jarrett grabbed a chair and when Dusty entered the ring, he blindly swung and hit Dusty to close the show.
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