PWTorch.com - VALLEY: Don't look now, but everyone is trying to bring back the '90s

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VALLEY: Don't look now, but everyone is trying to bring back the '90s

Jun 16, 2015 - 1:13:45 PM

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By Jim Valley, PWTorch contributor

Don't look now, but everyone is trying to bring back the '90s.

The new, cheap programing on the WWE Network imitating MTV's Punk'd (Swerved) , VH1's "I Love the '90s" (The WWE List), and Jerry Springer's "Too Hot for TV" (About 15 shows and DVDs called "Too Hot For TV"). It gives you the distinct impression the last time Vince McMahon turned on a television was 1998.

Dean Ambrose is Stone Cold for the PG Era. He fights in ambulances, steals police vehicles, and buys a ticket to sit in the front row, all while keeping his middle fingers tightly clenched.

But my least favorite has to be "The Wednesday Night Wars". Seriously, stop it. Just stop it. There is no Wednesday Night War. For starters, TNA and ROH are on the same cable channel, an insignificant one at that. Destination America is the place where old Travel Channel shows go out to pasture. Wanna see the hot rides at Walt Disney World from 2004? Destination America is your channel. The same rate and numbers are so small, the ratings for Impact Wrestling and ROH only determine if TNA will live last past September and ROH will see 2016 on the network. That's not a wrestling war. That's a war of attrition.

Lucha Underground has been the most consistently watchable show since its debut, but it needs funding from a large, Mexican media company if it wants a season two.

NXT is your favorite show with all of your favorite Superstars. While it's very popular, its purpose is primarily to prepare talent for the main roster. It doesn't have any public ratings. It's just one element of the almost-free WWE Network. It needs subscribers, not ratings.

Long gone are the days of Nitro vs. Raw, the NWO vs WCW, and Stone Cold vs. McMahon.

I loved it. You loved it. It was a magical time to be a wrestling fan. It was also a different time. It's not coming back, so, please, quit the charade. Enjoy what we have now: a very interesting time in its own right.

RANDOM THOUGHTS: I've been enjoying Dean Ambrose's performances on Raw lately. He has more nuances in his facial expressions than any recent performer. He may slightly resemble Dick Slater, but he is his own man. Unlike Slater who was the poor man's Terry Funk....Byron Saxton: you said, "Classic...." on Raw? Really? Michael Cole is ridiculed for "vintage" and you want to break out the next word in the thesaurus? That is cream of the crop, model, and showpiece announcing right there....Should we hate or love Dixie Carter? Do we hate her for her incredible incompetence? Or do we appreciate that her family has dumped tens of millions of dollars into pro wrestling and employed people lil Kurt Angle, Bobby Roode, and Christopher Daniels at one time or another?...