THE SPECIALISTS TUCKER ON TV: "Total Divas" Season 2 Rank-O-Meter - from Invisible to Human Being to Revolting
Mar 25, 2014 - 10:40:05 AM
PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO BOOKMARK US & VISIT US DAILY
By Ben Tucker, PWTorch TV specialist
I believe that Total Divas is the most coherent WWE show apart from NXT, but the weekly reality show is having an issue making the characters relatable to a segment of their target demo audience - young males like myself. So, let's take a look at what's wrong with our main characters in everyone's favorite Sunday night TV show and countdown the most hate-able characters of the week.
(8) Jo-Jo. Where is she? Is she alive? WWE acts like she disappeared. So, you can't dislike what's not there.
Rating: Invisible.
(7) Brie Bella. The sole sane female on Total Divas. She puts up with the endless obnoxious complaints of her sister, all the while treating her fiancé like something more than an object. She's charming, down to earth, and acts like... well, a human. You go girl!
Rating: Human Being.
(6) Trinity. Trinity stayed quiet this week other than providing some advice for Ariane and Eva Marie. That being said, it wasn't very nice of her to talk about Ariane's DUI past on national TV, so there's a little bit of give and take there. Still, she didn't get into an argument with Jon or Ariane this week, so good for her.
Rating: I Can Relate!
(5) Summer Rae. I think Summer Rae's supposed to be the "heel" of this season, but I don't see how. She's definitely cocky and arrogant about her place in the company, and she takes a few shots at Natalya here and there, but she also happens to be the only person to stick up for Eva Marie on the entire roster.
Rating: Catty but not Baddy.
(4) Natalya. Here we go. This is where things start to get real. Natalya is the fakest person on this show, darting back and forth between "friendly and cheerful" and "talk behind your back and take unnecessary jabs at you." Sure, Summer made mean-spirited jokes at Natalya’s expense on Bryan's bus, but Nattie was the one who spurred them on. And then she acts like she's the victim! Overall, she's arguably the most manipulative wench on the show, and her frequent break downs (especially during Season One) clearly cement this fact. Someone needs to set Natalya straight... maybe with a slap (ooh, foreshadowing!).
Rating: Not a Buddy; a Little Nutty.
(3) Nikki Bella. I cannot stand Nikki Bella's character on this show. She turns the smallest problem (looking weird because of a lost tooth) into a huge ordeal (ignoring her boyfriend for two days because of her insecurity). She is the leech on the "Braniel" bandwagon and never seems concerned with her sister's problems. I will give her credit for giving John Cena the greatest challenge in his career with their multi-week Iron Man "Marry Me" contest, but this week the pettiness of her issues reached an all-time high. And don't get me started when she begins talking about sex. Or, blithely talking about the benefits of having a bus like she's entitled to it. And treating her boyfriend like a sex object. Guys have feelings, too!
Rating: Shoot Me, I Must be Dreaming (of a NIGHTMARE!).
(2) Eva Marie. Eva Marie scares me. I think her expressionless face is due to her actually being a Terminator. Her robotic origins, combined with her past scenes shoot her straight down to the bottom of this list. Her cocky demeanor, mixed with her complete inability to make smart decisions, makes her one of the most villainous members of the Divas roster in quite some time. If she could develop more expressions than Zoolander, she could actually have a future as a heel Diva.
Rating: Revolting in Red.
(1) Ariane. Throughout Season One of Total Divas, Ariane made her name by complaining about non-issues, starting fights, and hanging around her creep of a boyfriend, Vinny. This season she's become a walking gossip rag, exposing factoids about Divas she doesn't get along with. Someone needs to learn some manners! Out of everyone on the show, she shows the least remorse or caring. And that voice. That grating, accusatory voice. Ariane is the top heel in WWE right now. Bar none.
Rating- Absolutely Awful.
What's that? This show is fake and a complete put-on? I know. But, on a Sunday night when nothing else is on, it's still real to me dammit!
Any questions or comments? Message me on Twitter @BTuckertorch!
THE TORCH REACHES MORE COMBAT ENTERTAINMENT FANS THAN ANY OTHER SOURCE
PWTorch editor Wade Keller has covered pro wrestling full time since 1987 starting with the Pro Wrestling Torch print newsletter. PWTorch.com launched in 1999 and the PWTorch Apps launched in 2008.
He has conducted "Torch Talk" insider interviews with Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Steve Austin, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Eric Bischoff, Jesse Ventura, Lou Thesz, Jerry Lawler, Mick Foley, Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Bruno Sammartino, Goldberg, more.
He has interviewed big-name players in person incluiding Vince McMahon (at WWE Headquarters), Dana White (in Las Vegas), Eric Bischoff (at the first Nitro at Mall of America), Brock Lesnar (after his first UFC win).
He hosted the weekly Pro Wrestling Focus radio show on KFAN in the early 1990s and hosted the Ultimate Insiders DVD series distributed in retail stories internationally in the mid-2000s including interviews filmed in Los Angeles with Vince Russo & Ed Ferrara and Matt & Jeff Hardy. He currently hosts the most listened to pro wrestling audio show in the world, (the PWTorch Livecast, top ranked in iTunes)
REACHING 1 MILLION+ UNIQUE USERS PER MONTH
500 MILLION CLICKS & LISTENS PER YEAR
MILLIONS OF PWTORCH NEWSLETTERS SOLD
PWTorch offers a VIP membership for $10 a month (or less with an annual sub). It includes nearly 25 years worth of archives from our coverage of pro wrestling dating back to PWTorch Newsletters from the late-'80s filled with insider secrets from every era that are available to VIPers in digital PDF format and Keller's radio show from the early 1990s.
Also, new exclusive top-shelf content every day including a new VIP-exclusive weekly 16 page digital magazine-style (PC and iPad compatible) PDF newsletter packed with exclusive articles and news.
The following features come with a VIP membership which tens of thousands of fans worldwide have enjoyed for many years...
-New Digital PWTorch Newsletter every week
-3 New Digital PDF Back Issues from 5, 10, 20 years ago
-Over 60 new VIP Audio Shows each week
-Ad-free access to all PWTorch.com free articles
-VIP Forum access with daily interaction with PWTorch staff and well-informed fellow wrestling fans
-Tons of archived audio and text articles
-Decades of Torch Talk insider interviews in transcript and audio formats with big name stars. **SIGN UP FOR VIP ACCESS HERE**