By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist

In TNA, there have been weeks of Sean Waltman & Scott Hall run-ins. No deviation, no change of plan. Just two months of "The Band" making their way into the Impact zone for a reason fans can't quite grasp:

Waltman: "Hey bro, what are we doing tonight?"

Hall: "Same thing we do every night. Run in. Maybe we'll get to play Rock-Paper-Scissors again."

Waltman: "Oh man, remember that? That was so crazy. I can't believe we did that. Good times."

-Let's recap the wacky and confusing world of Impact. Show opens up with Eric Bischoff hinting of Jeff Hardy signing (sigh) and giving his best impression of a goofy cartoon villain. And I rooted for Eric too.

-Here's the Pope. "Pope be pimpin?" A new wrestling catchphrase! All I've been eating is Zack Ryder's "Woo woo woo" baloney. Anyways, The Pope lays down some sweet mamba jamba about how Ric Flair is really Dick Flair. And how Hogan told him that he's the cooler version of Jay Lethal. Remember Jay?

Here comes an exhausted Ric Flair and A.J. Styling. They've been partying it up with Flair Floozies. Flair pumping up the World Title is sweet music to my ears. And yup, it's a smart move to let Flair talk for Styles. Because I'm still convinced underneath all that bling, Styles is still a goofball who drinks Ovaltine.

Flair and Styles break the Pope's ankle. Enjoying the fact that they've got two months to pump up Pope-Styles. You know, kinda like the old days. Before the inclusion of WWE gimmick PPVs every three weeks that were named by five year olds.

-Before the Daffney-Tara random match, I think I heard Mike Tenay tell viewers to go grab a beer from the fridge, because "we're showing a bit with Daffney-Dr. Stevie that most likely won't go anywhere. Stay tuned!"

-We're in Bischoff's soulless office. Bischy wants Mick Foley to dress better (you know, like always wearing a leather jacket). All ya gotta do Mick is to stand on this ominous red "X" and not look up, please.

Foley takes the bait and goes out to K-Mart to pick up some new threads. Having cleverly disposed of Foley, ATM Eric hatches his evil plan to torture Abyss. Meanwhile, the rest of us wonder why Bischoff is so darn fascinated with masks. There's something wrong with him.

-On the February 18 Impact tapings, Joe got beat cleanly by Orlando Jordan in about four minutes. Mark it down.

You know. Joe. The man who last Sunday could have been TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Seems Joe just couldn't handle the bi-sexualness.

But it's okay, TNA says with soothing tones. Joe losing feeds into his "angry Joe" storyline. Perhaps in the future Joe reverts back to this "Nation of Violence" days and destroys Bischoff's mid-card buddies.

And if it doesn't, well then, Bischoff got some heat. Hopefully those masked men took Joe to get new wrestling trunks and some people who know what to do with his career.

-Next month: The Nasty Boys vs. their lungs. Don't miss it.

-Hi, I'm Eric Young. See my cool leather jacket? It's pretty wicked. I haven't had a televised wrestling match lately. I lost the Global Title. I have no discernable character and have the personality of play-doh. I'm friends with Kevin Nash. How do you think things will turn out for me?

-Good news for us: Kaz is back! Bad news: Christopher Daniels is apparently TNA's jobber. And we thought it was good news when he got rid of that "Curryman" gimmick.

Imagine if, after having him lose twenty matches to Hornswoggle, WWE put Chavo Guerrero in a World championship match at a PPV against John Cena. Sure, I like new contenders. I also liked it when Desmond Wolfe wasn't just another goon in the Bischoff Buddies gang.

-Jeff Jarrett draws the line when it comes to using barbwire bats on the mentally challenged. That's good to know.

-Look, Jimmy! It's Beer Money! And they're wrestling a match! Will they vanish out of sight again? Or will they suddenly become tag team contenders? TNA needs to work on its consistency. This "throw stuff up against the wall and see what sticks" shtick they do is getting old. And if they are serious about actually dueling with WWE, they'll take that to heart.

-I give Rob Terry as face this: he's not Chris Masters. Although the first time Terry speaks, he'll vomit supplements like a waterfall.

-It's Abyss and Hulk Hogan. Hogan gets his shots in at Vince by giving away his Cracker-Jack prize WWE Hall of Fame ring (I gotta say, Hogan and Bischoff are pros for not busting up laughing when working with Abyss). Abyss gives us hope by giving off an old-school yell. Please get away from your Eugene shtick, please.

Two choices for Abyss: stay in your current spot as a monster (think Kane) or take off the mask and let's see why Hogan is pumping you up during his interviews.

-Kurt Angle easily disposed of TNA's bald jobber. There are two questions I have:

(1) Does TNA not have the skill to not book this match?
(2) Does TNA not have the talent to not book this match?

Which do you agree with?

To me, Angle gave a more moving speech than what Tiger Woods did. The mission of the promo was a bit off, though. Last week Mr. Anderson spit on Angle's large piece of metal. This week, Angle explains that the piece of tin was a dog tag made by a soldier. And when Anderson spitted on the dog tag, Anderson was "spitting on all of our fine men and women fighting for our freedoms." Yeah, that's a stretch.

One could even feel sorry for Mr. Anderson. "Bro, I thought you just bought that dog tag at Walmart or something." The execution of this promo could had been better if at FIRST Angle explained why the dog tag were so important to him, and then have Anderson come out and "disrespect" the dog tag.

But yeah, I feel for Kurt Angle. How could one not? It was a bit surprising they let Angle talk about "praying to God." Much like banning prayer in school, it's rare nowadays that you get a wrestler talking about religion. WWE nowadays they would use the phrase "deity" or "higher power" to be global.

-About the show's closing...who bothered to watch it? Perhaps TNA is trying to solve the problem of their dwindling second hour ratings by having the main event come at the 1 hour, 45 minute mark and hope that viewers stick around for Hogan showing up at the entrance and pointing or staring at someone. Perhaps they are training their audience to switch from Raw to Impact at 1:45 (Raw's 1:45 is typically Ted DiBiase vs. Kofi Kingston nonsense).

All in all, a decent show. The wrestling was forgettable and TNA fell into the trap of trying to do too much, but there were some intriguing developments. Like what sort of dirt Orlando Jordan has on TNA management.

That's it for me. Going to go to sex therapy rehab. It's my cross to bear. You know what they say about us wrestling writers.

(credit to obsessedwithwrestling.com, gerweck.net, ecx.images-amazon.com for pics)

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com. Follow me on facebook - facebook.com/ShaneMcKinley88.

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt