THE SPECIALISTS ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - TNA: A.J. Styling Is Still Adorable, Whack Suicide, The Friendship of Mankind & Mankind Rip-off, Buy TNA PPV and Get Vince Russo's Book
Feb 14, 2010 - 10:35:22 AM
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By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist
-One of the things the "TNA Epics" show displayed was TNA's and Kevin Nash's willingness to ruin PPV World Title matches. It's an art to these guys. Did Nash need to be in that Sting-Angle match at Bound for Glory? Nope. Did that "Nash betrays Joe" train wreck really need to take place? No. The show was supposed to be about Sting's great matches, but yet two of his matches were overshadowed by two pointless Nash interferences (especially Sting vs. Joe at BFG).
-TNA has apparently put Sean Morley back into the closet of shame, thankfully. But then they gave Eric Young a rub in the Hulk Hogan spotlight. Oh well. Young is much easier to digest.
-Saddest sight of the night was Orlando Jordan coming out to his dance music and...getting funeral-type silence. You gotta figure that during TNA's creative meetings the "Booker T, Jr." idea is being tossed around for O.J.
-I also believe they tossed around the idea of Jeff Jarrett getting a "Rocky montage" in his training to get back on top. Can't you see it? Jarrett pumping iron to a cheesy rock tune. Jarrett stroking his chin. Jarrett talking about how he founded TNA blah blah blah.
-Outside the Impact Zone there is a pasture. TNA should take the character of Suicide to this pasture and whack him. Whack him good. For our sake.
-A Matt Morgan match: "Move. Congratulate myself. Move. Pose. Move. Congratulate myself some more."
-If Hall and Pac are such cool dudes, then why is the only thing they apparently do is try to bum rush a wrestling show in Florida? Don't they have anything else better to do? Like perhaps write an article for a wrestling website (Mr. McKinley needs to get paid).
-Mick Foley vs. Abyss at the PPV is...um...certainly "special." Special in the sense that most people give not one flying fig about the relationship of Mankind & Mankind rip-off. The Rock and Sock Connection it's not. I hope Jeremy Borash is suspended over a pool of sharks during the Foley-Abyss doohickey.
-When I hear the name "Mr. Anderson," I think of Agent Smith from "The Matrix."
-Also, when I hear A.J. Styles try to do his "Ric Flair promos," he sounds a bit like Jim Cornette. Problem with the A.J. Styles is that not enough work was done to fully convince fans that Styles is this scum bucket heel. Sure, we have Mike Tenay lamenting that "he doesn't agree with Styles's new lifestyle," but what exactly of Style's new lifestyle is horrible? He's partying it up and having fun with Flair. That's evil? The Angle screwjob? When exactly did the TNA World Heavyweight Title mean anything? Angle was a fool for not bribing the ref in the first place.
Let's pump up Styles's heel character some more. Have Styles mock his once loyal following. Have Styles degrade women. Say that people who play videogames are smelly losers who girlfriends are made of pixels. Something.
-I wouldn't think TNA would have the balls to have Styles point out Joe's "failures" recently: Main Event Mafia, Taz as manager, Nation of Violence, wearing a roman skirt, etc. But they did. So Joe's this face chump who says A.J. Styles has changed for the worse and wants to kick his ass for some reason. Great. Neither Joe or Styles's characters or their motivations are convincing. So we're hoping for another great Styles-Joe match and an interesting ref sleazy E Bischy involvement.
-It's my opinion that without proper build-up, the existence of a feud, or potential for something in the future, a typical X Division match has glaring flaws. God only knows how the "Destination X" PPV is going to go down (if it's indeed all-X Division matches). That would mean the X Division would get more than four minutes of airtime. And TNA is obsessed with ratings. Showcase underhyped and underdeveloped X Division wrestlers or show more of the Nasty Boys? Which to choose?
-I'm thinking that the "Hogan tease job of joining Nash-Pac" was (a) either a wrap-up to a blown angle (perhaps Sting vs. Hogan-Nash-Pac was nixed after Sting no-showed the January PPV), (b) just a ratings ploy (might as well make Nash and Pac useful), or (c) a completely inane throwaway bit meant only for Hogan to get his kicks. But it sure wasn't (d) a bit that really drove the PPV home. It was far from it. Why is it that Impact has lately ended on such a frustrating note?
Oh well. Perhaps it was a way to get fans to trust Hogan, only to have Hogan screw them over again. In TNA, they crave unpredictability over things making sense.
-Against All Odds does look pretty snazzy though. Maybe they could throw in a deal that when people buy AOO, they can get a copy of Vince Russo's new book. Haters gon' hate the New York warrior who won't tap out to the Figure Four and when chocolate syrup comes down from the heavens.
(credit to gfxfusion.files.wordpress.com, img.youtube.com, and camelclutchblog.com for pics)
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