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By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist

"Overkill, enough is enough
There's nothing left of me to devour
You've had your fill, I'm all I have left
What can stop your hunger for power?"
-"The Ultimate Sin" by Ozzy Obsourne

The Raw guest host is a polarizing issue. On one hand, I don't enjoy what a typical Raw guest host brings to the table, meaning being in throwaway backstage skits and butchering wrasslers and their whittle special wrasslin PPV that's coming up.

But on the other hand...did you catch Smackdown last week? Ugh.

Here's Ozzy, and he's riding a bloody crazy train. Good move in getting Sharon. She's a doll.

Here comes rating-killer #1, the Miz. He complains about Evan picking up a count-out victory. Not a lot of people remember your match last week, Mizzy. Especially since WWE trains their fans to view you as a chump whose act only lasts four minutes on Raw.

Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes, rating-killers #2 and #3, go up to the teacher and complain that Kofi Kingston smashed their buddy Randy's toy car. It's not fair!

Rating-killer #4 Big Show wanted an apology from the Raw roster. Awww. I keep forgetting that Show isn't on the Smackdown roster.

-As long as there is professional wrestling, there will always be guys looking to bury others in order to push themselves. Take your Hulk Hogan, who might be greeted with chants of "overrated" by hardcore TNA fans who don't want to see TNA's young talent vanish. Or your cool Triple H, who saves Raw from boredom constantly.

Hell, you know what? Give me the ratings-killers and have Hunter retire. At least so I don't have to hear the same tired Trips nonsense over and over again. Shadup yo face, it's old.

-Vince was right. The Miz does have great legs. And the Miz is getting a serviceable push right now as U.S. Champion. Meanwhile Evan Bourne...what can we say? Right now he looks like he couldn't win against a fly. (Or a bat.) I hope for a Bourne match on Superstars but that's rare nowadays. And as for Jack Swagger? Doing a dead-end flirt thing with Eve. He won't lose a match the rest of 2009. The question is: does anybody care?

What was up with the crowd chanting "this is awesome?" Sarcasm? Or has WWE trained their fans to go crazy when somebody does a suplex?

-At least they're not pumping up "Smackdown vs. Raw" hype anymore. No sir, they're on the "Evil Sheamus" propaganda vibe right now. WWE knows that Sheamus could have used more time in the oven down in ECW. That's why the powerbomb was the right move to do by the mighty barbaric Sheamus.

Let's face it, Sheamus could be seen as a joke with fans chanting, "get a tan." The skin could work in his favor in making him stand out and for rocking the "God of War" vibe. The great thing about the powerbomb was the fan beside the cameraman urging Sheamus on. "Yeah, Big Red! Do it again! Ha ha ha!" Dude had a really evil laugh. WWE even went the stretcher route and the fan just kept laughing that evil laugh. A gold star for the fan!

WWE on their programming should at least reference Sheamus perhaps getting punished by WWE in some fashion. Maybe even going the length of suspending Sheamus from the next Raw (but Sheamus shows up anyways). Hell, even a follow-up with a short video clip of Jamie Noble recovering in the hospital. Give weight to the powerbomb. And push this guy to the moon. You know. That guy that fans can only remember having two feuds in ECW, one with Goldust and Shelton Benjamin.

Meanwhile, in a dark basement, Mike Knox plots his revenge.

The Kofi-Randy Orton feud is a breath of fresh air in the dusty halls of WWE. It's too bad that for Survivor Series they're hyping up the "will the tag team of DX/JoMizzy team up or will they go at each other's throats?" They can take that TNA "loyalty" specialty and cram it up their collective butts. I'm not going to buy a PPV match to see any team play this tired card.

Here's a thought: separate Hunter and HBK apart. Don't do the lame trick of teasing the fans of "Will John Cena have to face both DX? Or will it be everybody man for himself?" What I'm saying is that for the Raw triple threat, they should have Cena, Hunter, and HBK fighting for themselves. Save that "two vs. one" nonsense for the Smackdown triple threat. (Undertaker vs. Jericho vs. Big Show? Come on.)

Kofi Kingston left Randy's mirror alone because he wants Randy to look at himself in the mirror. Uh huh. "That's why Orton isn't WWE champion," says the man who has never been World champion. Why don't you destroy more people's property, Kofi? What was up with that fake Jamaican accent? Who is the real Kofi Kingston? The lies Kofi feeds us all. Don't trust Kofi. My smear campaign for Kofi Kingston has only just started.

Look for Legacy vs. The Kewl Kool-Aid Men MVP and Mark Henry in one of the Survivor Series match ups. Winner? Does it matter? Hopefully they've got things in store for Legacy, as they once were hot.

-Raw's Got Talent...it was better than the usual standard deal. To me, WWE got off their asses and put effort into this. Compared to last week, when two "huh?" NASCAR drivers were involved in backstage skits that nobody remembers.
In "Raw's Got Talent," I chuckled a bit. I also shrieked when Masters pumped his man boobies to an Ozzy song. That song is ruined forever. Forever!

I think Chris Masters has found his new shtick in flexing his tits. I noted a while back Chris's unique talent during one Raw review when he made a rare appearance. Before you object, remember Tito wrestling in a dress. And also remember that Chris Master was born without a personality.

Professional Boxer Ricky Hatton is guest hosting Raw next week. You've got Hatton, who looks like he doesn't give two s--- about anybody, and the allure of him in a segment with Hornswoggle. It doesn't add up.

Alicia Fox is big with WWE management because she likes to stick her butt out. She also looks like some crazy alien with her out of control hair and flamboyant attire. But at least she's not Lacey Von Erich or Jenna Morasca.

Breaking news: Punk has been slated to shine Vince McMahon's shoes on the next Smackdown and will feud with R-Truth.

More breaking news: There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Ref Scott Armstrong has allowed to live.

Even more breaking news: Batista kills bunny rabbits and then eats their entrails for fun.

Last breaking news: Sunglasses and a vest do not cover up the poor wrestling ability of Eric Escobar.

One of the nice things about the guest host deals is that Raw shelves time for Chris Jericho to meet his child metal-rock gods. His interaction with Ozzy made me smile. "Ultimate Sin" shout-out.

The Rock and Roll DXpress is bullying poor Hornswoggle about "gimmick infringements." Cena comes to save the day. It seems lately that John Cena makes a point to mention in his promos how his feuds feel like deja vu. He then talks about all they seem to do is beat each other. So their triple threat match is a circle jerk? Fellas, Hogan probably won't even been on TNA programming untill after Thanksgiving! Don't go to that length!

I did laugh with Triple H going, "Vintage Big Show! In the corner. Oh my." Couldn't pay attention to the main event with DX cracking jokes (they got serious when Cole rejoined at the end of the second hour), but who could? I was enamored with DX. And when Triple H retires, we'll be left with nothing but painfully uncool chumps. And that will be the beginning of the end of wrestling.

(credit to por-img.cimcontent.net, sosofficial.com and media.photobucket.com for pics)

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com


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