By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist

"I got the boys to make the noise
Won't ever let up
Hope it annoys you
Join the pack, fill the crack
Well now you're here
There's no way back"
-"Mental Health" by Quiet Riot

-I watched this Impact from start to finish. And I greatly enjoyed it much more than the "200 episode."

-Lo and behold, TNA has created a cool group in "World Elite" with Eric Young as the evil leader. Young has got to go a long way before he is viewed as credible again (years of being an embarrassing joke will do that to ya) but this thing is groovy, baby.

What's not groovy is when MEM and World Elite joined forces in the ring. I was having flashbacks to the old days of NWO, in which 50 people were in it. Maybe now with World Elite we'll get to see an X Division match on a PPV.

-It's hard trying to concentrate during a typical X Division match in TNA, with announcers plugging everything and a crazy camera. Young bringing back the jumping piledriver? Goes against "the code." Would be better if it went against "TNA Rules," but that doesn't exist. Weird that a jumping piledriver is taboo, but things like vehicle manslaughter and bounties are considered normal.

-Kudos to both WWE and TNA for getting rid of that "coming up in five minutes something better than this crap" bits.

-Really sad to see Robert Roode play up the "we used to be canuck buddies!" card with Eric Young. Shameless on TNA's part. I kinda expected James Storm to blubber like a baby about his "Beer Drinking Championship" feud with Young. "How could you man? You turned evil! Wah!"

-The best thing about "The Random Riot" was that there was no jerkwad plugging "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story," uh, "Good Burger," um, "The Goods" in it. Sometimes in wrestling it's not about execution, it's about timing. You can bet that "The Random Riot" will be put onto a "Best of Impact" DVD. Check out http://brainz.org/riots/.

I mean, it's been a long time since we've seen fake cops on a wrestling show. As cool as this riot was, there were some flaws.

(1) Newcomers to Impact probably thought that TNA was building Joe vs. Lashley at the PPV. Later in the show they run down the PPV card and they find out that it's Joe vs. Homicide, who has like five seconds of airtime on Impact nowadays. Wha?

(2) When the show ended with another all-out brawl (really?), it watered down Hernandez coming in and kicking everybody's ass. That's okay, because Hernandez's world championship reign will probably be like Joe's 2008 world championship reign.

(3) They had the gall to have Rob Terry pick up the win in midst of this all-out brawl.

-Speaking about Rob Terry, he scares me. Dude looks bigger and more stacked than the average gassed-up '80s wrestler. I'm fearing that he's going to be dead before age 40 due to heart problems brought on by steroid abuse.

-Favorite part of the brawl was Kevin Nash chilling in some garbage and landing some weak-ass garbage shots that didn't connect one iota with Foley's head. Plus there was that whole "Sting-Angle" table bit. So horrific. But man, I did enjoy the riot, especially compared to the rest of WWE programming this week. You're just a WWE fanboy! Shaddup, Mr. X!

-I see Joe vs. Homicide being a wash and Joe going crazy on Homicide. Hernandez comes out to save his little buddy and Homicide turns on him. Homicide joins World Elite and starts a feud with Hernandez. I know that TNA is dropping hints that Hernandez is gonna be the next contender for the world championship, but Lashley vs. Kurt Angle at Bound For Glory appears to be the main event.

-Cute Kip is working on the dream. He's still employed as a TNA janitor. He's "living on a prayer"...

"Kip used to be a 'suitable replacement'
For a TNA PPV event
Everybody laughed...and laughed...and laughed
Had a fight with his VKM buddy
"You know what I am, Brian? I'm a tiger"
So lame. So lame.
But he's got to hold on to whatever's he got
Cause it doesn't make a difference
when your character doesn't have a point
and you work part time at a male stripper joint
For airtime, he'll give it a shot
Wooahhh he's barely there..."

And so forth.

-The Abyss bounty thing was put into Impact to help bring things down. It was like a reminder of all of the crap the Jarrett gang used to put us through. It was an "A" show until JB started talking to Abyss with a hammer behind his back. It was a great move. You see, TNA doesn't want their fans to get too excited. After all, it's free TV.

-The main event was basically Sting's comeback party. Didn't like how the show ended with another all-out brawl (considering the insanity of the first one), but oh well. I've got to go. Who is Mr. X? Who do you think it is?

(credit to media.brainz.org, cache.gawker.com and ukrockfestivals.com for pics)

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

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