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UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 6/26 WWE Smackdown: No good reason why McMahon was on SD, Name Game History of The Bash, English please, The Crusher
Jun 28, 2009 - 4:45:35 PM |
By Lee Stevens, Torch specialist
Thank you for joining me as we put Smackdown "Under The Microscope." This is not a complete recap of the show. Instead, it's a closer look at Friday's broadcast.
Power to the people!
Thank you for taking the time to vote in the Smackdown "Microscope" poll this week. The overwhelming winner this week was a closer look at what once was known as the Great American Bash. The GAB was so popular, it survived time with Jim Crockett's NWA, WCW, and WWE. Until the name change this year, it was the last pay-per-view title held over from WCW.
Although the event is now a one night only affair, in 1986 and 1987, the Great American Bash was actually a tour of events throughout the east and south. The event was usually centered around patriotism and the 4th of July, although in the WCW years, the event moved to the month of June from 1995-2000. WWE started its version of The Bash in June 2004 and then reverted back to the traditional July spot until this year they moved back to June and dropped the "Great" and "American" from the name.
Baltimore has hosted the most Bashes with eight events at the Baltimore Arena, including three in a row from 1988-90 and another three straight in 1998, 1999, and 2000.
GAB events have included cage matches, War Games, Retirement matches, Human Torch matches, Flag matches, a Two Ring King of the Hill Battle Royal match, Texas Tornado match, Tuxedo match, Tower of Doom match, Bunkhouse match, $100,000 Anything Goes match, Strap match, Bull Rope match, Double Russian Chain match, Hair vs. Hair match, and a Dog Collar match. Counting the WWE years, you can add a Punjabi Prison match and a Four-Way Bra and Panties match. America is great.
Ric and David Flair not only both competed in The Bash, they faced off against each other. Both Dusty and Dustin Rhodes have competed. The Bash has also featured Juventud Guerrera, Eddie Guerrero, and Chavo Guerrero. Both Garvins, Ronnie and Jim, both Koloffs, Ivan and Nikita, and a pair of Steiners have all contributed to the Great American Bash.
We've had Buzz Sawyer and Buzz Tyler, The Rock-n-Roll Express, and The Midnight Express. Initially, we had Booker T, Magnum T.A., JBL, and PN News. We had Mark Callous and The Undertaker. We had Oz and Kevin Nash. We also had Booker T, G.I. Bro, and King Booker.
From the first Great American Bash in 1985, the only participant who still spends a considerable amount of time on television is Ric Flair, most recently seen challenging Randy Orton in a parking lot on Raw. Although Randy is the only Orton to participate, The Bash has provided an opportunity for Ricky Morton and Scott Norton.
As for the American part, we've seen the West Texas REDnecks, Big Van Vader (born Leon WHITE), the BLUEbloods (Bobby Eaton and Steven Regal), and the BLUE World Order.
Thanks for voting in the poll. We'll try it again next week!
All of that good stuff you're doing? Knock it off!
Vince McMahon made a rare appearance on Friday night and as soon as we find the exact reason, we'll pass it along to you. Apparently, McMahon was still basking in the glow of his firing of Donald Trump and wanted to see how it would feel on a different evening. Otherwise, McMahon's visit seemed a bit out of place on a show which, since the draft, has featured logical stories, interesting feuds and solid matches. Perhaps General Manager Teddy Long is really, really bad at paperwork.
I before E except after CM Punk
McMahon revealed a clue about a potential source of disagreement with Long as he criticized the G.M.'s use of a certain piece of slang. Long hyped up the show by insisting that "this ain't gonna be just any kind of match," and McMahon quickly shot back, "Did you just say ain't?"
It wasn't the only part of Smackdown which would have caught the attention of my 11th grade English teacher. Mrs. Hawkins would have also appreciated Shelton Benjamin correcting R-Truth before their match. "I don't be the gold standard. I am the gold standard."
Another ten points off for a sign in the crowd proclaiming that Punk was "Strait Edge." According to the dictionary, strait is a word which can be defined as strict, narrow or rigorous, but consulting the other source of literary certainty, tattoos, you will see that Punk actually spells it S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T with the ink on his stomach. No, I don't suggest you use tattoos to correct your instructors. Unless it's a tattoo instructor.
It wasn't the only time Benjamin tried to impress others while tearing down R-Truth. Benjamin bragged about getting his education and went as far as insisting that he "graduated at the top of my class." The Microscope could find no actual proof of his academic prowess, so we can only assume that he was referring to height.
The great American melting pot
Just in time to celebrate all that is wonderful about this country, Mr. McMahon offers up his quote of the week in response to Rey Mysterio's pointed comments towards McMahon and Long. "From now on here on Smackdown, we only speak English, you got that?" McMahon should be on the lookout for other potential offenders, including The Great Khali, Ranjin Singh, Jimmy Wang Yang, Kung Fu Naki, and Melina who all speak languages currently not approved by The Chairman.
It's been years since I had a strong grasp on Spanish, but I believe I understood Mysterio as saying that McMahon was a "bad boss with no heart." If a Microscope reader translated it differently, please add your comments below.
Milwaukee's Best
Full credit to Jim Ross for a bit of wrestling history, even if his timing was questionable. With Smackdown in the city of the Brewers, Ross reminded us of "The Crusher," - the wrestler who made Milwaukee famous. Reginald Lisowski (any questions as to why he would change his name for in the ring?) is probably remembered for teaming up with Dick the Bruiser as the two squared off against "turkeynecks" in the AWA, NWA, and WWA. Crusher also won the AWA Heavyweight Title three times.
He was featured in a song by The Novas called, naturally, "The Crusher," and appeared with Dick The Bruiser in the 1974 movie called "The Wrestler." He died in October 2005.
For someone as tough as "The Crusher," it's interesting that Ross chose to mention the legend just before the Divas match.
As for his title of "The wrestler who made Milwaukee famous," it's an obvious spin on the well known line describing Schiltz as "the beer that made Milwaukee famous." Jerry Lee Lewis also had a hit song entitled, "What's made Milwaukee famous (Has made a loser out of me)." A band out of Austin, Texas also borrowed the phrase for the name of their band as "What Made Milwaukee Famous" has played at Austin City Limits and Lollapalooza. Although Reginald knew about "crushing," this band was up close with "smashing" as they also opened for The Smashing Pumpkins.
Hey, I know you!
Although he got a first hand lesson in "jacking," it was good to see Jesse making one of his first appearances on Smackdown since the draft. If you take a look at the Smackdown roster, other DPMIA (draft picks missing in action) members include Curt Hawkins, Kane, Kung Fu Naki, and The Undertaker. Obviously, The Undertaker is safe and one could assume that his "brother," Kane will be back on TV soon. I'm worried that Hawkins, Fu Naki and, despite Friday's appearance, Jesse could be planning some future endeavors soon.
Are you being sirius?
Jim Ross continued to give deserved praise to John Morrison by insisting that he "is a star in every sense of the word." If you don't enjoy nitpicking, let's meet back here in a few lines. For those who enjoy nitpicking, prepare to have your nits picked.
Technically, Morrison is a star in just one sense of the word, as he is NOT:
-- a luminous ball of plasma held together by gravity and often linked into groups called constellations.
-- a tabloid newspaper
-- a metal weapon used by angry ninjas
-- an athlete wearing ice skates in Dallas
-- The Society of Ticket Agents and Retailers
-- a guitar shape melding parts of the Flying V and Gibson Explorer
-- an album from Belly
-- a song by David Bowie
-- a song by Bryan Adams
-- a song by Kevin Ayers
-- a town in Texas, Idaho or Michigan
Yes, John Morrison is well-known and deserving of praise in his chosen field. He is a star. Just not like the one which is the title of a novel written by Pamela Anderson. I'll save you the time, no, it's not a pop-up book.
Lee Stevens examines Raw and Smackdown with "Under The Microscope." You can leave comments below or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com
Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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